This Wandering Heart

by Janine Rosche

  “Thank you. It was a remarkable trip,” Keira said.

  “Congrats on landing that Adventure show. Has that always been your dream?” In this light, Thomas’s brown eyes had an amber hue to them. They steadied on Keira.

  “Uh, yeah. Ever since I allowed myself to dream, anyway. I was told I’m learning the ropes at first. I won’t get camera time.”

  “Just wait till they see your light in person. Pictures don’t capture that. They’ll fall in love with you and put you center stage.” Robbie flashed his smile in her direction. “And we’ll finally get to go to Denali. Maybe make good on those plans we once had.”

  Butterflies swirled in her belly, making it difficult to concentrate on the conversation as it moved to a new topic. Thomas shared about some stress at his job. As the safety director at the River Canyon Dam, he was working to implement a better warning system for when water levels rose on the river. A necessary but tricky task, considering the seismic activity in the region. Only sixty years ago a major earthquake caused the top half of a mountain to slide off its base, blocking the Madison River and flooding the canyon. Stories of the Hebgen Lake earthquake had kept Keira awake more than once when she lived on the river during her college summers.

  Keira finished off her grilled chicken sandwich and carrot sticks. She had no food in her apartment nor any plans to go grocery shopping, either. Even if she did, she couldn’t get to her fridge with all the moving boxes piled up. Her stomach soured. Every time she’d tried to tell Robbie about her plans to move her belongings to Twin Falls, she’d chickened out.

  Onstage, the band opened with a cover of an Aerosmith song. The crowd had grown thick. Hallie and Thomas had to scoot closer to the table to avoid being knocked in the head by patrons swaying drunkenly to the beat.

  “We’re going to slow it down now. Guys, grab your girl before someone else does and come on out to the dance floor,” the lead singer said. The twangy opening of “Meet Me in Montana” played. The old song was a favorite of Joe’s, the owner of Ollie’s. He had a rule. When the duet played in his bar, every woman must be asked to dance. Those first few bars also caused a stir in the crowd, along with a few eye rolls.

  “Would you like to dance with me, Kat?” Robbie took her hand.

  “Always.”

  “Ryann? Do me the honor?” The voice was loud and deep.

  Behind Ryann’s shoulder, Stuart Ashcroft, the town’s real estate mogul, held out his hand. He was no Robbie, for sure, but he was quite handsome in that Bradley Cooper way. He commanded each room he entered, maybe because he could buy the building and everyone in it with the cash he had in his pocket. Women, especially out-of-towners, were entranced by him. But the only one he wanted was Ryann. Never mind the fact that she used to be married to his little brother.

  “No, thanks.” Ryann buried her nose in her glass and drained the remainder of it. Fortunately, it was soda.

  Based on the redness in Stuart’s cheeks and his history, he’d drunk all the remaining alcohol in the bar anyway. He placed his hand on Ryann’s shoulder, directly over her thick scar. “Come on, babe. I haven’t seen you in forever. We’ve got business to discuss.”

  “Take your hand off my sister, Stuart.” Robbie’s eyes had darkened when he spoke.

  “Robbie, don’t you have enough worries of your own?” Stuart asked.

  His question sent a quiver down Keira’s spine. Not only did Stuart have money, but he also had power and connections. One of those connections was Keira’s father. Several more of those connections were in the same courthouse where Robbie would be fighting for custody.

  Ryann’s cheek twitched, then lifted to a smile. “I’d love to dance.” She accepted Stuart’s hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.

  An ashen look swept over Robbie’s face. His palm grew clammy against hers.

  “Your sister is strong enough to handle a man like that,” Keira said, as she hugged his arm.

  “I hope so.”

  * * *

  * * *

  Would you like to come in?” Keira breathed the invitation against his lips, making it sound more suggestive than she’d intended.

  Her porch light cast a biting glow over Robbie’s wry smile, making him appear even more mischievous than usual.

  “Not for that.” She placed her hands against his chest and gave a small shove. “You’ve never seen my apartment, is all.”

  “Yeah, I’ll come in for a bit.”

  Keira fumbled with her keys in the lock. Most likely due to Robbie’s lips on the side of her neck, which inhibited any and all concentration. She elbowed him in the ribs. “What will my neighbors say?”

  “Probably, ‘Lucky guy.’”

  Once the lock turned, she paused. She couldn’t pretend her racing heartbeat was merely from his kisses. At least not entirely. How would he react to what he saw inside?

  “What are you waiting for? You’re acting like you have some weird collection or something. Wait. Let me guess. Creepy dolls. No, too obvious. Um, you have all your baby teeth on display. Or . . . you have the baby teeth of other people on display. That’s it, isn’t it? You have another secret identity as the Tooth Fairy, don’t you?”

  “Not quite. I don’t want you to do that thing you do.”

  “Okay, I’ll bite. What thing?”

  “Where you assume this has to do with us, okay? It doesn’t.”

  Robbie’s grin faltered, then reappeared. “You’re making me nervous.”

  Over her shoulder, Keira attempted a reassuring smile, then turned the handle and opened the door. With a flick of the switch, the light illuminated the stacks of cardboard boxes. Her walls were mostly bare, with spots of white Spackle dotting old nail holes and awaiting a touch-up of paint. The one thing she’d yet to pack was her world map.

  But Robbie wasn’t looking at that or the boxes labeled Kitchen, Bedroom, or Books. His eyes focused on hers.

  “There’s no sense paying for an apartment I don’t need. I spoke to Nana and Papa.” She paused. It was still strange to refer to grandparents at all. “They’re going to let me store my stuff at their place in Twin Falls. I don’t have much. I’m kind of a minimalist.”

  Robbie’s mind seemed to work a frantic pace behind those sea-greens of his. “But filming will only last, what? Three months?”

  “Yeah. Afterward, I thought I’d spend some time with them when we wrap. I want to get to know them more. We’ve talked about trying to get Mama to come stay as well. Even hatched a little plan to get her away from my father. I’d appreciate your help—after the hearing, of course.”

  “What about—?” He buttoned his lips. Next to him, the flaps of a box yet to be sealed rested at awkward angles. He peered inside, then retrieved her copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and thumbed through it.

  “You, Anabelle, and I will be together during most of the filming. You’ll probably be sick of me by then anyway.”

  “Never.” Robbie replaced the book in the box. “I’m glad you’re going to spend that time with them. We’ll have our whole lives to spend together.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Keira’s breath stalled when Robbie came to her, only to resume when he bypassed her and headed for the map.

  “So the geography teacher has a wall-sized world map in her home? You’re such a nerd, Knudsen.”

  “Hey, I wear my nerd hat with flair.”

  “Yeah, you do.” Robbie’s gaze panned the pastel countries marked with thick black font.

  Each one was either partially or mostly covered by her arrow-shaped sticky notes.

  “Are these all the places you want to visit?”

  “Mm-hmm.” Keira stood next to him. She slid her fingertips along the bottom edge of the wall hanging. Ever since Robbie gifted her that atlas for her eighteenth b
irthday, maps held a romantic quality. No matter where she was on earth, she could trace a path to anywhere she wanted to go. It merely took trust in the cartographer’s hand and a whole lot of courage.

  “Denali’s on here.” He tapped on the Alaskan national park near the top of the map, where a red arrow pointed. “Just think. Soon, we’ll be standing right here.”

  She felt that awful grin of hers contort her face. The blue star from her atlas flashed in her mind. He’d once planned to propose there. Within her, hope surged.

  Robbie gently pulled her hand away from her face. “Don’t you dare hide your smile. You earned it.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  The inside of Vivian’s Mercedes was so fancy Robbie began looking for the tray of caviar and a button that turned the whole car into a hot tub. At least ten cows had died to provide its leather. Man, this stuff may be alligator, knowing Vivian’s taste for the exotic. And it was immaculate.

  “Where do you put all your fishing tackle?”

  Vivian’s face remained plastered in her usual I’m-better-than-you expression. For someone who’d spent years giggling after every word he said, she certainly didn’t find him funny now. In fact, she hated his sense of humor. Cracking a joke was the quickest way to get her to leave a room. Of course, right now, he wasn’t in a rush to run her off. When she went, she’d be taking precious cargo with her.

  “Where is her car seat?” Robbie saw only a backless booster.

  “What do you mean? I have a booster. She’s four.”

  “But she’s still less than forty pounds. A car seat with a five-point harness is still the safest.”

  “Are you calling me a bad driver?” Vivian’s eyes pinched together.

  “No, I’m saying that she needs to be in a car seat still.” Robbie put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You didn’t know. I’ll get mine out of the truck.”

  Vivian glared at his hand. Everything had changed since she’d demanded custody. At mediation, she’d been downright mean. Was he making a colossal mistake letting Vivian spend the day with Anabelle away from him? His family and friends sure thought so. If it weren’t for the niggling Robbie felt in his heart to narrow the gap between Annie and Viv, he might agree.

  “Sorry.” He removed his hand. “I’ll get the seat.” Inside his truck, he unfastened the belt securing the car seat in place. Underneath, he found a year’s worth of fruit snacks, Goldfish crackers, and . . . were those raisins or bug carcasses? Gross. As he pulled the car seat out, crumbs along with tiny toys and sections of broken crayons sprinkled the gravel. He shook it, feeling Vivian’s stare burn into his back and flood up his neck into his face. She’d been MIA for four years, and yet he was the one feeling like a terrible parent. Score one point for Vivian.

  He carried it to her car. She had those fancy clips meant specifically for car seats. As he fumbled with the latches, a Cheerio fell on the floor mat. When he finished, he scooped up the old Cheerio.

  “We’re going back to our house. Eric has his girls this weekend. Then we may go shopping or get mani-pedis.”

  “What are those?”

  The café door opened. Ryann led Anabelle by the hand toward them.

  “Girlie things. Belle needs a female role model. Your sister hardly counts.”

  Fury swirled in his belly. Ryann was a thousand times the woman Vivian was. “Her name is Anabelle. Or Annie. Not Belle. That’s not even her favorite princess.”

  “Why? Because Belle can read?”

  Lord help me. “Princess Patty Cake is her favorite. She got a good night’s sleep, so she should be in a good mood for you. She’ll eat anything, but macaroni and cheese is her favorite.”

  Anabelle slowed her steps when she spied the open door of the car.

  Ryann bent down and spoke to her.

  It did no good. Anabelle shook her head, taking a backward step.

  “What’s wrong? I thought she liked me.” Vivian’s brows pinched. She worked her jaw until her dimple appeared on the side of her chin. “I thought about buying her a teddy bear. There was this pretty pink one at a boutique on Main Street. Perhaps if I had—”

  “She does like you, Viv. Or at least she will. No teddy bear required. I’ll go talk to her.” Robbie kneeled, welcoming Anabelle into an embrace.

  “I don’t wanna go,” Anabelle said.

  He stroked her hair. “I know, Kitty Kat, I know. Remember how much fun we had on the picnic with Vivian? Now you get to go to Vivian’s house and play with some big girls. After dinner she’ll bring you right back here to me.”

  Pulling back to see her face was a mistake. Her lower lip jutted out, and her chin trembled. Pools of tears formed. The kind that Vivian had mocked Robbie for during their so-called relationship.

  Even now, Robbie blinked back his own tears. “How about this? Tonight, we’ll turn on a movie, and I’ll let you put barrettes in my hair and makeup on my face.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “You don’t have to be. Vivian loves you.”

  “And that’s why she grew me in her belly and gave me to you?”

  “Yes, baby.” Robbie used his sleeve to dry Anabelle’s cheeks. “Now, be a big girl and say hi to Vivian.”

  “Do I have to hug her?”

  “Only if you want to.”

  Vivian dropped her hands from her hips when Anabelle approached, letting them fall to her sides. She didn’t ask for a hug.

  Anabelle didn’t offer. They exchanged hellos, and Anabelle climbed into her familiar, stained, gunk-covered car seat.

  Robbie leaned over, helping her arms through the car seat’s straps. Once she was safely buckled, Robbie kissed her. “I love you, Kitty Kat.”

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  Ryann clung to Robbie’s arm as the car drove out of sight.

  An ache the size of Yellowstone consumed him. This would only be a few hours. Still, when he met his sister’s eye, he couldn’t smile. “There goes my girl.”

  * * *

  * * *

  We’ll be filming at Denali’s new Fifth Summit Lodge for about a week. After that, we’ll be heading to Brussels. Can you believe it? Me and Anabelle in Europe.” Robbie speared another bite of steak with his fork. He’d almost skipped the Matthewses’ Sunday family dinner. With Anabelle spending the entire day at Vivian’s, the word family didn’t seem appropriate. Leave it to his mother to extend an invitation to Keira, so he had to attend. Although he hated to admit it, his father’s home cooking was enough to rouse him from the cuddled heap he’d been in all day worrying about his baby girl.

  His mother cleared her throat, but she couldn’t remove the concern she wore on her brow. “When will you come back?”

  “After Brussels, we head to Egypt and Morocco. Then, I think we’ll come home for a week. That way Anabelle can spend time with Vivian, and I can get some projects done around here. I’m sorry I haven’t been around—”

  “And then?” Ryann asked.

  “And then Annie and I will catch up to them, wherever Keira is.” He put the bite of peppery meat in his mouth, savoring it a moment before his first chew.

  “Who’s paying for all this?” Ryann perched her elbows on the table.

  “The Adventure Channel will cover most of his costs.” Keira caught Robbie’s eye. “Plus, he’ll get paid to be my assistant . . . as long as the coffee doesn’t get cold.” Her joke fell flat, and she squirmed in her seat.

  Robbie washed down the steak with a drag of milk. Over the glass, he read the room. Sometimes his ability to gauge everyone’s thoughts and emotions was a gift. Now? Not so much. “What’s that look?” he asked Ryann.

  “What look?”

  “The one you gave Dad.”

  “I’m not allowed to look at Dad?” Ryann asked.

  “Not if you’re going to send him silent messages. Say t
hem out loud if they’re so important,” Robbie said.

  “I’ll tell you later when we’re alone.”

  “Tell me now. Keira’s going to hear it anyway.”

  His mother rested her hand on Ryann’s red mane, flattening it at least two inches. “Take it out to the river, you two. You may come back in once it’s been resolved.”

  Robbie’s inner ten-year-old kicked, shoved furniture, and garbled foul words. In reality, Robbie’s outer twenty-seven-year-old coolly kissed Keira’s cheek, then stood, even taking the time to push his chair in before following Ryann out to the riverbank behind the café. Born only sixteen months apart, he and Ryann had spent a lot of time out here as kids and teens, sorting out their sibling squabbles. The theory, he’d always assumed, was that the river swept the anger downstream, leaving only the root of the issue exposed. Robbie came to that conclusion after he’d thrown Ryann’s favorite Barbie in the current mid-fight and watched it float away. Robbie bit away a grin at the memory.

  Unlike that day, Ryann wasn’t angry now. Just concerned. “I think you’re heading toward heartbreak.”

  His face warmed despite the cool evening air. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’re wrong.”

  “Am I? In a few days, you have a court hearing to discuss custody of your daughter. Your focus should be on proving how great a father you are, not planning all these globe-trotting adventures with your girlfriend.”

  “This is my job. It’s how I make money. How I provide for Anabelle.”

  “Is that why you’re forcing this?” The wind whipped some curls across Ryann’s face. She tried to smooth them back into place, but they had a mind of their own. She pulled an elastic from her wrist and twisted it around her hair. “You can make money around here.”

  “Not enough.”

  “Okay, then stop giving away your services for free. Charge people for your labor, not only the materials. You have a sweet heart, Robbie, but maybe if you were a bit less generous, you could have already started your business—”