This Wandering Heart

by Janine Rosche

  “Mama, you said I got my courage from Father. That’s not true,” Keira said. “He’s the one who’s afraid. Look at him. He knows he’s losing control of us. I’ve learned that courage isn’t something we’re born with. It’s a choice. Please come with us.”

  A flicker danced in her mother’s eyes.

  Father in heaven, move in her heart.

  Several seconds passed, then her mother lifted her chin higher than Keira had ever seen before. “Goodbye, Joshua.”

  Her father couldn’t have looked more shocked if a lightning bolt struck him.

  “Mrs. Knudsen, is there anything you need from inside?” Robbie asked.

  She thought a moment, then looked her husband dead in the eye. “There’s nothing I want here.”

  Keira’s father took a menacing step toward her mother, but Drew blocked his path.

  “You must let her go.” Drew pressed a button on his radio, pinned on his shoulder. “Request for backup.”

  A string of curses sailed from her father’s mouth, many of them targeting Keira’s mother. Vile names that could snap twigs. When she kept walking, he spewed a promise to have her replaced by nightfall.

  Robbie and Keira followed her mother and grandparents to the front of the house and out to the street. Robbie gripped her hand but kept watch over his shoulder. Ever her protector. Even when she told herself she didn’t need one, it was comforting to know he was there. This time for her family, as well.

  But she couldn’t dislodge the look of fury in her father’s eyes as they left. One day, she knew, he’d take his revenge. On whom was anyone’s guess. But as they drove away from the Knudsen property once and for all, Keira prayed it wouldn’t be Robbie or his family.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  The July skies above Denali were the bluest Keira had ever seen. In all the travel shows, Alaska promised white-mountain majesty and unencumbered exhilaration. Over the past two days of filming, it had delivered both. However, Keira did not expect it to feel quite so lonely.

  Soon. They’ll be here soon. Leaving Robbie and Anabelle behind to move Mama and all Keira’s possessions to Twin Falls five days ago wasn’t easy. Mama’s transition to Nana and Papa’s home had been rough. There were moments when Keira wondered if Mama’s grief over her abuser might actually kill her, as she lay in bed, shrouded in sorrow. In those times, Keira had wanted the respite of Robbie’s arms. With his plane scheduled to arrive any minute, she could almost feel that embrace already. Then, with his new job as her assistant on set, she’d have his comfort (and Anabelle’s joy) on standby whenever they were needed.

  Isaac, one of the Traveling Light production assistants, sat in the Escalade they’d rented from the Fairbanks airport. The driver-side door was propped open, and he’d reclined the seat back. He was an easygoing guy with a full beard, one typical of her millennial peers, and a penchant for gas station snack food, though Keira didn’t know where he put it. He was slim as a lodgepole pine. So far, he was the one who’d gone out of his way to make her feel the most comfortable. Everyone else pretended not to notice her. High school all over again.

  “More Than a Feeling” hummed on the car’s radio.

  “Kat, what kind of music do you like?”

  Standing near the front wheel well, Keira rechecked the skies. Nothing. “I’m pretty eclectic. My favorites are Tom Petty, George Strait, Casting Crowns. But this is fine.”

  “Pssh. You’re a lot easier than Hurricane Margot. You don’t ask for much.”

  From what Keira had witnessed during filming, Margot’s off-camera persona was nowhere near as sunny as the show portrayed her. There was a reason the crew had given her the nickname. “I’m just happy to be here.”

  “That’ll wear off soon enough.” His laugh was the life-of-the-party kind. “Hey, don’t be put off if people don’t take a liking to you right away. We’re all walking on eggshells around Margot right now. She likes to make heads roll when people cross her, so most don’t.”

  “What does that have to do with me?”

  “You’re the new and improved model. People are afraid if they welcome you, Margot will get them fired.”

  “Oh.” Keira toed a pebble with her boot. “Why are you nice to me?”

  “Because everyone needs at least one friend. Especially in this industry.”

  “Thanks, Isaac.”

  His focus lingered on her a moment too long.

  The faint hum of the Cessna cut through the air.

  “That should be them.” She clapped her hands together. The Alaskan air soothed her soul. Or maybe it was the fact that her arms would surround Anabelle and Robbie soon. Her feet danced.

  “How long’s it been since you’ve seen your boyfriend?” Isaac asked.

  “Five days.”

  “Only five days? You guys must be serious. It may be silly, but I was hoping . . .”

  The plane’s engine grew too loud to hear anything else. A few minutes later, the plane landed safely and taxied to a stop a few dozen yards away.

  Thomas, in the pilot’s seat, nodded to her. After completing the installation of the dam’s new alarm system, he’d planned to spend a week in Fairbanks with friends. He offered to fly Robbie and Anabelle to meet up with her and the crew in Denali.

  She mouthed a thank you to him, and he nodded in reply.

  The door hinged, and Robbie dropped down onto the runway. He lifted Anabelle out of the plane. Robbie held her back, and her legs looked like a cartoon character’s spinning in a circle and not making headway. Once he checked the coast was clear, Robbie let her go.

  She ran to Keira. “Mommy Kat!”

  Keira’s heart nearly burst. She accepted the little girl into her arms. “Anabelle, I missed you.” Peering above the strawberry curls, she eyed Robbie as he strolled toward her. In all of creation, man never looked so good.

  Anabelle stepped back, clearing the path to Robbie. “Hug Daddy. Hug Daddy.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Keira ran to him, and he beamed. Dozens of movie scenes flashed across her memory. Lovers reuniting. Should she jump in his arms and allow him to spin her around? How about the desperate action-movie kiss? Or the slowed approach with a timely line of witty dialogue? In the end, she went with the black-and-white movie reunion. He leaned over her, and she tilted her head back, welcoming his lips on hers. But this wasn’t exactly the innocent kiss from a Frank Capra film. She suddenly understood how a kiss could make someone weak in the knees.

  “That’s a long hug, Daddy.”

  “Can’t help it. I missed Keira.”

  “Mommy Kat,” Anabelle repeated.

  “Mommy Kat?” Keira asked Robbie.

  “Vivian asked Anabelle to call her ‘Mommy.’ She refused. But she did start referring to you this way. I guess it’s her way of getting her voice heard. Do you mind? I can tell her to—”

  “I love it. And I love you.”

  “I love you back.” He drew her into another kiss. This one had the makings to last even longer, except that Anabelle was knocking on Keira’s leg as if it were a door.

  “Yes, Kitty Kat?”

  Anabelle held up her hands.

  Who could resist that? Keira hefted her onto her hip then returned her focus to Robbie. “How did the meeting with the social worker go yesterday?”

  “The meeting itself went well. I could tell she loved the cabin. She had this checklist she went through. I’m glad I was a stickler for safety when I built it. She didn’t even seem to mind the property.” He pushed his hair back off his forehead. “Until the alarm from the dam went off.”

  Keira gasped.

  “Remember how Thomas said they were making adjustments? One of those adjustments set off the alarm. We’d been warned, so we weren’t worried. Of course, we followed protocol and evacuated all the guests to higher ground until we got the all clear. But,
you know . . .”

  “The damage was done?”

  He shrugged.

  “We’ll just have to pray that much harder.”

  “I like your attitude. How’s your mom adjusting?”

  “The drive to Twin Falls was rough. There were moments I thought she might open the door of the car and throw herself out. Over the next two days, she cried a lot and struggled to get out of bed. But the night before I flew up here, we played a game of Scrabble, and she laughed. Actually laughed. It gave me hope. I’m looking forward to spending some time there in October with them.”

  “Did they get the home security system installed just in case?”

  “Yes, they did. Top-of-the-line.”

  “Good. Tell me about your first two days of filming.”

  Keira worked to not let her smile falter. What to say? “Uh, it was okay, I guess. So far it’s a lot of standing around and watching. But I’m learning the ropes about how television works. I’m hoping they’ll let me hold the boom mic one day.”

  “You’ll get there.” He hugged her tight. “It’ll all fall into place. It already is. You? In Alaska, working for the Adventure Channel? What could go wrong?”

  * * *

  * * *

  Keira clung to Anabelle’s waist as they crouched behind the boulder. Beneath the scarf, the ever-present sun was dim, and the smell of cut grass, baby lotion, and danger tickled Keira’s nose.

  “Who dares cross my bridge?” The voice was too husky to be human. It must be the troll Princess Patty Cake had spoken of.

  Anabelle started to creep out from behind the rock.

  “Don’t go!”

  “But I’m brave.”

  “Then we’ll go together.” Keira yanked down the scarf.

  Anabelle flinched from the light but grasped Keira’s hand.

  “Ready . . .”

  “. . . set . . .”

  “. . . go!” Keira popped upright and began to run across the clearing. Beside her, the girl laughed. It wasn’t long until the monstrous footfalls trimmed the distance to her heels. Anabelle dropped Keira’s hand and cut right. Traitor.

  But the troll kept after Keira no matter how fast she tried to run. He unleashed a yawp so barbaric it curdled her blood.

  She was a goner.

  Arms seized her waist, lifting her off the ground. His chest heaved against her back. The world around her spun. Mountains, woods, valley, resort, mountains again. Once it stilled, she felt the troll’s hot breath behind her ear. Then his lips. Mercy, why had she hidden again?

  “My queen. You’re mine forever.” The laugh that followed was more of a brutish grunt than anything else.

  “Come get me now, Daddy Troll.” Anabelle made a silly face in their direction.

  “I saw you cross my bridge, Princess Patty Cake. Now you must pay.” Robbie released Keira and launched himself toward Anabelle, who took off toward the forest. He caught her before she reached the tree line. “Now I shall make a princess stew.”

  Behind Keira, a cacophony of voices sounded. The production team. Most of them anyway. Margot was nowhere to be seen.

  Isaac, who’d been holding the door for the group as they exited the lodge, trailed them now. When he saw Keira, he smiled, then jogged over to her. “We’re grabbing drinks at the lodge down the road. Elk’s Snout or something.”

  “Elk’s Peak, you mean?” On the flight up to Alaska, Keira had studied the area’s history, geography, and commerce. If she got the chance to appear on camera, she’d be prepared.

  “That’s it.” His gray eyes had a twinkle to them when he laughed.

  “Thank you for the invitation. Robbie and Anabelle and I are going to stay and eat here, I think.”

  “You sure? It’d be a great time to hang out with the crew, let them get to know you. Robbie could come along.”

  A couple of dozen yards away, Robbie gave a sidelong glance. He held Anabelle’s hands and allowed her to walk her feet up his jean-clad legs, then kick off his stomach to flip herself backward.

  “Not this time.”

  “Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

  “See ya.”

  Isaac jogged to catch up with the group. Markus, another twentysomething, gave him a shove, knocking Isaac into Therese, the hair and makeup artist.

  With Anabelle slung over his shoulder, Robbie neared. “If you want to go with them—”

  “I don’t.” She brushed a hair off her face. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to try princess stew.” She took hold of Anabelle’s arm and pretended to nibble, all to the girl’s shrill delight.

  * * *

  * * *

  Twenty minutes later, Keira, Robbie, and Anabelle stepped through the arched doorway where the smell of braised beef awakened Keira’s carnivorous appetite. The restaurant was nestled in the northwest corner of the lodge. It was small and expensive, but the atmosphere, with its gaslit lanterns and rustic wood, couldn’t be beaten.

  Keira, out of habit, snapped some pics for Momentso. Her followers would want to see this. Plus, it would give a teaser for what lay in store for Kat Wanderfull. Soon, she hoped to get the go-ahead to announce the big news about Traveling Light. Not that they’d ever see her on there. Three days of shooting and Keira had yet to see the front of the camera.

  The hostess sat them at a table by the windows that overlooked the clearing where trolls were known to chase queens and princesses. Past that, the grass gave way to pine-needled floors and the open air became crowded with trees, wild animals, and maybe a yeti or two. Then the Great One, Denali. It only took standing in its shadow to understand humility.

  As Robbie settled Anabelle into her seat, Keira glanced at a neighboring table. Her arms and legs seemed to have turned to stone.

  Only the touch of Robbie’s hand was enough to bring her flesh back to life.

  “You okay?”

  “It’s Angela Woodward.”

  “Who’s that?” Robbie’s face swung toward the table next to theirs. “Whoa. Isn’t that Teddy Woodward?”

  She nodded.

  “It’s fine. There’s, like, zero percent chance we’re embarrassing ourselves right now, gawking at them.”

  The couple glanced up from their plates and looked at Keira and Robbie.

  Robbie shifted his weight. “Okay, maybe, like, ten percent.”

  Angela, Keira’s favorite photographer of all time, had a friendly face that was framed with long, thick locks, so close to the color of cinnamon, Keira wondered if she smelled like Christmas. Seated across the table from her, her husband, Teddy, remained as handsome today as he was when he’d first begun starring in films forty years ago. Keira couldn’t remember how many Oscars he’d won, but it was enough to seal him in Hollywood history forever.

  “Honey, I think they may want a picture with you.” Angela touched her husband’s arm.

  Swabbing a napkin against his mouth, he nodded. He rose from his chair and stretched out his hand to them.

  Robbie, who didn’t typically get starstruck, accepted the handshake, nearly ripping the man’s arm out of his socket. “I used to play with your action figure.”

  Seeing Robbie’s awkwardness bubble up and over gave permission for Keira to throw caution to the wind herself. She lunged ahead, past Teddy, straight to Angela. “Ms. Woodward, I’m thrilled to meet you.”

  “Me?”

  “Your book, Life in Quotidian, has been my favorite as long as I can remember. The way you paired your spectacular nature photography with prose has always inspired me.”

  “That old book? It’s been out of print for decades. You don’t look old enough to have read it.”

  “It was in our high school library. I would check it out each week. One day, they gifted it to me. I still have it.” Keira touched her cheek. If it grew any hotter, she’d combust. “I
am—er, um, was a photojournalist. I’ve been trying to emulate your style, but I don’t even come close to capturing nature the way you do.”

  “Bless your heart. You’ve made my year. People only ever recognize that old fuddy-duddy.”

  “Eh, he’s all right,” Keira joked, waving him off.

  “What’s your name, dear?”

  “Kat Wande—Kat Knudsen, I mean.”

  “Were you about to say Kat Wanderfull?”

  “You’ve heard of me?”

  “Our granddaughter, Lana, adores you. She follows you on . . . Teddy, what’s that app called?”

  “Beats me.”

  “Momentso.” Keira tilted her head. “I’m guessing your daughter is between sixteen and twenty-eight? That seems to be my main demographic.”

  “Fifteen going on thirty,” Teddy said.

  “I’ll say. You are such a good role model for her, especially compared to some of the other folks on social media. I love how your faith and values show through your posts. Thank you for that.”

  “You’re welcome. That’s a big reason why I do it. Or did it. I have a new job now.”

  “Wait a moment. Are you with Traveling Light?” Angela asked.

  “I am.”

  “Oh, I bet Margot is shaking in her boots over you!” Teddy chuckled.

  Angela swatted Teddy’s arm. “Margot has never been scared a day in her life. The bigger concern is . . . has she been nice to you?”

  “She hasn’t not been nice.” The truth was she hadn’t been anything to Keira. The woman hadn’t even acknowledged Keira’s presence on set. “Oh, this is my assistant, Robbie.”

  “We were watching you all play out there. You sure he isn’t more than your assistant?” Teddy eyed them in that grandfatherly way.

  “He’s my boyfriend, too. That’s his daughter, Anabelle.”

  “She’s a doll.”

  “Thanks.” Robbie grinned.

  “Would you all like to join us? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind us pulling the tables together. I’d love to talk shop with Keira.”

  * * *