by Kris Bryant
“That means more to me than you know,” I said.
We spent the evening next to one another on the couch, talking about the simple things since so much was already said about the life-changing ones. There were a few sweet touches, soft kisses, but neither one of us wanted to rush back to where we were. I felt like a new person. My secret was out, and although it was liberating, I felt exposed.
“I missed you the past couple of weeks,” she said.
She rubbed her fingers up and down mine in a soft, erotic way. Or maybe that was just the way I responded. Either way, it felt wonderful being touched by her again.
“How was the concert? I’m sorry I missed it.”
“Oh, my God! I’m horrible.” Hope sat up and stared at me. “Lily, your company is allowing us to convert one of their unused two-story buildings into the Leading Note. And we received an anonymous donation so we can set it up the way we want and maybe even get some new or slightly used furniture. I can’t believe I didn’t say anything sooner.”
I smiled because Agnes kept my secret and Hope was very appreciative of everything that happened for the Leading Note. “You’re not horrible. We just had a lot to talk about.”
“Thank you for making this happen for us. I’m so happy. We’ll spend the next few months getting it ready and then transfer the equipment and heavy instruments over there. It’s close to where it was before and it’s closer to your place. So, if you want, you can come by and play whenever you want. No pressure.” She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me. “You’re fantastic.”
“I really admire the center and what you’ve done with it. You have to understand that what you do for the children is completely different than anything I’ve ever known. I want this to be successful.” Hope had such love in her life that I doubted she would ever understand what I went through growing up. “Now, tell me about the concert and leave nothing out.”
“The kids performed wonderfully. We had a full house. Standing room only. Miles did a great job of bringing people in. I owe him,” she said.
“More. I want details.” I laughed at her stories of the mishaps and the surprises of the night. I decided I wasn’t going to miss the next one, no matter what.
“It’s late. I should probably go.”
I didn’t want her to leave, but I wasn’t ready for her to stay either. We stood awkwardly at the door.
“Should I be concerned that we haven’t seen Clio in hours?” she asked.
“I blame you if he’s sprawled out somewhere in the back.” I smiled.
“When do I get to see you again?” She moved in close and gently placed her hands on my waist. She pulled me toward her when I didn’t stop her.
“How about this weekend? Can we go to Blue Eden?”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Of course we can.” She kissed me good-bye with just enough passion to get me interested, and pulled away before we couldn’t stop. “Thank you for letting me come over.”
I closed the door behind her and leaned against it. My life had changed so much in just a matter of days, and for the first time since I was a small child, I felt completely at peace.
Chapter Twenty-seven
“I’ve decided you should always wear black and your dresses should always be above your knee,” I said.
Hope blushed and pulled me into her apartment. “You’re just saying that. Black is so drab.”
“Black is so sexy,” I said, and kissed her softly. This time she stayed in my arms and deepened the kiss. It was a welcome surprise.
“I will do my best to keep my hands to myself, but I make no promises,” Hope said. She stepped out of my embrace to look at me. “You look fantastic in jeans. Do a spin for me.” I slowly turned and smiled when she made a growly sound deep in her throat. “These are new and I definitely approve.”
I shrugged and stepped back, slightly embarrassed but empowered by her praise. “I do have a pair of nice jeans, but I think I might be underdressed compared to you.”
Hope smiled. “You look great. And you’re just my height.”
I was wearing cute flats, but she was wearing strappy heels, so it evened us out. “Now you don’t have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss me.” I proved that by leaning forward and pressing my lips against hers. I held her close and kissed her again. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and my body responded instantly. I wondered what else she wasn’t wearing.
“I like this jeans and jacket look. If you get hot, you can just take this off.” She pressed against me and slid the thin blazer past my shoulders. “I like this silky little number, too.” I was wearing a sleeveless red blouse that hinted at the cleavage I was doing my best to show off, but not in a slutty way. There was only so much I could do without feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t tell her that a sweet sales associate spent hours with me at Nordstrom to find the perfect outfit for tonight.
“I’m sure I’ll get hot.” I was already sweating, but it was more about Hope’s outfit and less about the air-conditioned room. I hadn’t seen Hope since dinner earlier this week, and even though I wanted to take it slow, I wanted her naked in my arms. I wanted to make her come for me, because of me, because of us. I was overwhelmed with emotions, but all good stuff. I was getting better at not freaking out.
“I’m sure you will, too.” Hope’s voice was dark and promising. I shivered and, for a split second, thought about staying and making love to her on the couch, but changed my mind. I wanted the world to see us together. I was ready to be a part of a couple, even if that put me in the spotlight from time to time.
The thickness of the heat and the heaviness of the noisy city pushed us into a cab. We wanted to walk for a bit, but we were both miserable after half a block. Even though my hair was piled up high on my head, a thin trickle of sweat formed at the back of my neck. Hope looked refreshed but assured me she felt the heat, too.
We both sighed when we opened the door to Blue Eden. The burst of cold air felt wonderful. There were a lot of people inside already and I immediately moved closer to Hope. She put her arm around my waist and leaned into me. “I reserved the same booth we were in last time.”
“They let you reserve specific tables?”
“Miles does. Especially since it’s not front and center. Nobody cares about a side booth near the back.” She offered me the wall of the booth and slid in beside me. A waitress buzzed over to us immediately to get our drinks. Hope ordered us gin and tonics with extra limes. I was beginning to appreciate the smoothness of alcohol.
“Tell me about the performers tonight.” The house band was warming up the crowd and playing low enough to allow patrons to chat and drink. Local favorite Brooklyn Trio was next, followed by Bryan King and his entire band of twelve musicians. I hoped to be gone by then.
“I love Brooklyn Trio because they are fun and really play to the crowd. Once you see them, you’ll understand why I like them so much. Have you heard of Bryan King?” Hope asked.
I shook my head. I listened to the oldies. It wasn’t that I was opposed to modern jazz, I just hadn’t wanted to open myself up to new music. I knew Hope would help me hear music the way it was supposed to be heard—with joy and excitement, not fear and trepidation. “Pretend I know nothing about jazz. What can I expect from him?”
She told me Bryan King’s life story, but halfway though, my thoughts turned and I couldn’t have cared less about him. I couldn’t stop staring at Hope’s full lips. I remembered them all over my body, kissing me everywhere.
“Lily? Where’d you go?” I shook my head briefly, trying to shake off my thoughts, but I was in too deep. I missed her. I missed her mouth, her warmth, and our intimacy. I missed sex. I missed holding her and the feeling of letting go in her arms.
“How long do we have to stay?”
“We can leave right now if it’s too much for you.” She reached out and touched my arm supportively.
“It’s not too much for me. It just hit me how much I’ve missed us.” Heat crept up my nec
k and landed in my cheeks. It was obvious where my thoughts were and I lowered my eyes. I didn’t know how to ask for intimacy. I wasn’t sure how to tell her what I wanted.
“Let’s go.” She knew. Hope waited for me to slide out of the booth before she reached for my hand. She pressed against me, and just as we were making our way out of the bar, Miles stepped in front of us.
“Where are you two going? You just got here like twenty minutes ago.” He kissed Hope’s cheek and reached for my hand. “And we missed you at the concert, Lily. Your girl put on quite the show.”
“I heard and I’m sorry I missed it. It sounded like a great time. I won’t miss the next one.” I almost rolled my eyes when he kept the conversation going.
“And I heard Leading Note is moving. That’s great news. Let me know if you need help moving. Me and the guys would love to help out.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely hold you to that.” Hope turned to me and said, “Miles helped move us into our current building.”
Hope smiled at him and wrapped her arm around my waist. Her fingertips slipped under the blazer and blouse to caress my bare skin. She was seducing me in front of Miles, and I was both embarrassed and incredibly turned on.
“I have plenty of experience moving pianos. You already know this. I’ll let the guys know to be on call.”
“Thank you again, and I’m sorry we have to leave so suddenly, but we’ll be back another time.” Hope kissed his cheek and we finally made our way out of the bar.
The heat hadn’t eased up at all. I slipped off my jacket and folded it over my arm as we waited for a cab. In thirty seconds, we were in an air-conditioned cab that reeked of overripe bananas and cheap cologne. A faint cigar smell lingered even though there were No Smoking stickers everywhere. Hope gave the driver her address and we sat back and waited in silence. I was afraid to even touch her for fear that I wouldn’t be able to stop.
I threw money at the driver and scooted out of the cab. Did I just give him a forty-dollar tip on a ten-dollar ride? Hope reached her hand out to me and I took it. We quickly made our way up the stairs to her apartment. I put both hands, palms flat, against the door on either side of her as I waited for her to find her keys. I pressed into her from behind and moaned when she leaned her head back on my shoulder and pushed back into me.
“What’s taking so long?” I growled in her ear before sucking her earlobe into my mouth and gently biting down. She moaned again, although this time it sounded more passionate, more animalistic.
“You’re distracting me,” she breathed. Her hand shook when she finally got the key in the slot and unlocked the door. She pushed the door open and we both stumbled inside. She kept walking and dropped clothes in her wake. “Don’t forget to lock the door.”
I fumbled to get the door closed. By the time I had done it, Hope had disappeared into her bedroom. I followed her. She was waiting for me by the bed, fully naked and submissive. I kicked off my jeans and slipped out of the thin blouse on my way to her. She crawled on the bed and knelt on the edge when I approached.
“You still have too many clothes on.” She hooked her thumbs in my panties and slid them down my thighs until they dropped to my ankles. I reached back and unclasped my bra. She eagerly pulled it off and tossed it somewhere behind me.
“I missed you,” I said.
She pulled me into her and fell back on the bed, taking me with her in the process. I nestled my hips between her legs. We both moaned at the contact. “I’ve missed you, too.” She captured my mouth in a heart-pounding, passionate kiss.
We fell into the rhythm that lovers do, but this time, it felt different. We were different. The secret that had wedged itself between our hearts was gone, and I could fully give myself to Hope. I touched her everywhere, memorizing her every curve, soft and sharp. She wound her hands in my hair as I journeyed down her body, my lips pressing a path until I reached her wet folds. I spread her apart and tasted her. Her hands held my head steady where she wanted my mouth. I slid two fingers inside her, in and out slowly until she pleaded with me to go faster and harder.
Hope writhing in my arms, begging me to fuck her was so empowering. She wanted me to take charge. I sucked her clit into my mouth and moved my hand as fast as I could. In a matter of seconds, her hips bucked against me. She cried out and grabbed my shoulders as she rode out her orgasm. I felt her pulsate around my fingers, drenching them with her essence that I eagerly lapped up. Her clit, swollen and smooth, was too sensitive, so I moved away from it but kept my fingers deep inside her. I could stay like this forever—my head on her thigh, her hands stroking my hair, both of us hidden from the rest of the world.
“I love you, Lily.”
I wasn’t sure she said it. I held my breath and waited. Maybe she would say it again. And again.
“I love you. I know we have a long way to go, but I needed you to know.” She twirled my hair around her fingers. “I don’t expect you to say anything to me. Just know.”
I looked up at her. My heart hammered inside my chest, threatening to spill out between us. When was the last time I said the word “love”? Probably to Clio. When was the last time I said it to another person? I told my parents and grandparents that I loved them, but this was a different kind of emotion. This was deeper, more raw, and originated from somewhere I couldn’t identify. My body hummed whenever she was near. I felt alive with her. For the first time, I felt something real.
“I…” I cleared my voice and started again. “I love you, too.” My voice sounded scratchy and dry. I was bad at this, but I needed her to know I felt the same way.
Her fingers tightened in my hair. “You don’t have to say it back.”
I scooted up to face her. She caressed my cheek. “I’m serious. I love you, Hope D’Marco. I knew it when we had breakfast at the little restaurant in my neighborhood.”
Her face broke out into the most amazing smile I’d ever seen. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me hard. “I fell in love with you that time you sat under the window at Leading Note and judged me.”
I tickled her until she gasped for breath. “I wasn’t judging you.” She raised her eyebrow at me. “Okay, I was, but it was all for a good cause.”
“A good cause?” She kissed me. “Good?”
“A great cause. A wonderful cause.” I leaned down and kissed her again.
“I appreciate and respect all your advice. Truly.” She placed her hand on my heart. “I’m in love with my own heroine. I love you and who you are today, and I love the musician inside you. I can’t believe how lucky I am.” She flipped me and trailed her lips over my body. “Tell me what you hear.”
“Now?” I gasped when her teeth grazed my nipple. I felt her nod against my chest. “I hear my heartbeat.” I paused when she swirled her tongue over to my other breast.
“What else?” Her voice was more of a purr.
I closed my eyes again. “I can hear the blood rushing in my body. I can hear you breathing.”
She crawled up my body and I smiled when I felt her lips barely brush mine. She whispered, “What else?”
“I hear love. Your sweet words. I’ll never get tired of hearing it. Tell me every day.” I was breathless from wanting her touch and slightly frustrated that she wasn’t complying.
“Tell me what you want,” she said against my mouth.
“I want you.”
“You have me. What do you want?” she asked again.
“I want you to make love to me. Right now. I’m desperate for you.” I was rewarded with a passionate kiss and the full weight of her body on top of mine. I moved against her, anxious for friction. I cupped her ass and pushed into her, wiggling my hips in repetitive motion against her.
Hope slid her hand between us and slipped inside me. We moved together, our own music, our own rhythm. In that moment, right before I came in her arms, I knew this was meant to be. I knew we were destined to be together. She whispered how happy she was, but what I felt was far greater than ha
ppiness. I felt free, released from my own prison. I knew I had a lot to learn about life and love, but I knew we were going to survive. I had peace. I had a purpose. Most of all, and most importantly, I had Hope.
Epilogue
What are you doing with that?” Hope nodded at the marker I had in my hand. She was lying in bed, her body curved around a book she was reading, her forgotten coffee cup on the nightstand beside her. My stealthy yet extremely exaggerated slip into the room had gotten her attention. “You’ll never be James Bond.”
“Maybe I could be Jane Bond. Don’t be sexist, love.” I crept over to her like the Grinch who stole Christmas.
“Seriously, what are you going to do?” She finally closed the book and watched me warily as I approached the bed.
“Stretch your legs out,” I said.
She obliged. “I’m definitely intrigued, but a marker? Couldn’t we try something a little bigger?” She laughed when I blushed and crawled on the bed beside her.
“Since our piano won’t be here for another two hours, I thought I’d get some practice time in now.” Hope had moved in three months ago. And after encouragement and a lot more therapy, I bought a grand piano. We got rid of the dining room table and planned to put the Mason & Hamlin in its spot so it overlooked the city. I was unsure of the acoustics in the condo, but Hope told me to quit being a snob and everything would be okay. I pulled the sheet off her hip and uncapped the black marker. I made two parallel lines, six inches apart, from her hip to her knee. I drew lines connecting the two and watched her smile out of the corner of my eye.
“Washable,” I whispered and showed her the marker. I sparsely colored in ten black keys and leaned back to admire my work. The makeshift keyboard on her leg was clever, and I smiled at my creation.
She nodded her approval as well.
“Okay, so I have two octaves here. What do you want me to play?”