His Christmas Pearl

by Renée Dahlia

  ‘I can’t wait anymore. I need to kiss you.’

  Zoe’s dry mouth filled with moisture and she swallowed. ‘Yes, please.’ She barely got the words out when he cradled her face with his big rough-hewed hands gently against her cheeks. Her heart flipped as he leaned closer, so close she could see the flecks of lighter brown in his dark eyes. His irises were beautiful, now she could see all the detail. The dark brown dominated, and the colour was rich, almost black, but the different flecks were like a forest at night, so many traces of different browns she could stare into the depths for hours, fascinated by the way brown wasn’t just plain brown. Like Kiet himself, his eyes were complicated and nuanced, and she couldn’t look away. His breath caressed her lips and she wanted to lick them. Wet them for him.

  ‘Zoe.’ His voice washed over her, and she opened her mouth to respond, but he closed the gap between them. His lips weren’t rough like his hands. He tasted like the sea, like the oyster she’d eaten, the one he’d foraged for her only a while ago. She reached out, running her hands up his arms, and her own skin heated with the connection. He angled his head, deepened the kiss, and she wanted to sigh, to breathe him in, to taste him fully, and have his skin against hers. The kiss started gentle, a quiet exploration of each other, then turned desperate. Zoe slid one hand up his neck and held the back of his head. His short hair added another texture—soft strong lips, rough callused hands, clipped hair—all creating a blend of sensations that twirled and leaped in her gut. Heat flowed south, and she relaxed into his kiss. Her limbs slowly turned to jelly, until she was sure she’d be a puddle underneath him in the boat, as if she were swimming in deep ocean with only him to support her. And the kiss went on. He used his mouth and tongue to ask her for more. How she knew that she wasn’t sure, because she’d never been kissed like this before. Every kiss she’d had before paled in comparison and she felt so damned naïve to have come this far in life without a kiss like this. A kiss to follow. A kiss to abandon her dreams for. She pulled away, gasping for air.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She couldn’t do this anymore.

  He dropped his hands and sat upright—away from her. Had she said something wrong?

  ‘I’m the one who should be sorry. We didn’t agree to this. Only to the accounts.’ He twisted around and pulled the cord to start the engine again.

  The noise roared in Zoe’s ears, making her already sensitive skin feel tight as if she didn’t fit inside it anymore. Her dress flapped in the wind and she tucked the bright fabric around her weakened knees. She wanted to push him—away or closer? Closer. She definitely wanted more of those kisses. She needed to know what else he’d do. She’d acquired a taste for him, and no amount of apologies or using a boat engine to ignore her would suffice. Her heart thudded in her chest. For too many years, she’d let other people dictate her life. Today she would take charge and kiss Kiet properly—maybe even ask for more than kisses. Mother’s voice pinged in her ear reminding her not to waste her body by chasing desire. Desire is a lie. You need to save yourself for the person who will give you forever. Mother had been wrong about other things. What if she was wrong about this too? What if desire was something else? A fleeting truth to be enjoyed between two people without worrying about the future?

  A heady sense of freedom flooded Zoe’s veins and she knew exactly what she was going to do. She relaxed against the edge of the boat as Kiet took them back to the jetty, letting the breeze rush through her hair as the boat slapped against the water. The jetty grew closer and closer, and her heartbeat sped up again. Ready for more.

  Kiet parked the boat beside the jetty and leaped out. He tied the boat to the jetty with rapid movements, as if he’d done it a million times before. Zoe expected him to pace off and leave her there. Why? Because he’d sounded so serious, utterly committed to his need to push her away. She breathed in deep. It was time to chase her own desires. Take what she wanted. Do something for herself for once in her life. And it was Kiet she wanted. She wanted to run her hand through his hair, the way it was slightly longer at the front, and clipped short in the back, as if it should be styled like it had been on Christmas Day, but he couldn’t be bothered with the effort every day. She wanted to discover if his black hair covered any other parts of his body. He had barely any hair on his forearms … The memory of him sleeping on the couch at Christophe’s place on Christmas Day flooded her mind—he’d had only a smattering of black hairs on that small strip of skin between his jeans and his shirt. Maybe his chest would be smooth, or maybe … Well, today she would discover the answer.

  ‘Zoe.’

  ‘Mmm?’ She realised she’d been staring blankly at him, and she blinked at his use of her name. He stood on the jetty with one arm extended. She stood up, and the boat wobbled as she shifted her weight. She flung her hand out and he grabbed her, holding her until she steadied herself.

  ‘It takes a while to get your sea-legs.’ His eyes glinted as if he was holding back a smile.

  ‘Are you laughing at me?’

  He shook his head and helped her keep her balance as she took a couple of steps towards the edge of the boat. So much for being suave. He’d never want to kiss her now she’d shown how hopeless she was.

  ‘No. I wouldn’t dare.’ He bent his knees and slipped one hand around her waist as she clambered up onto the jetty. Her long dress caught under her foot, and she stumbled forward into Kiet. He staggered backwards under her weight, and his hands tightened their grip on her.

  ‘Shoot. I’m sorry. My dress.’ She grabbed the fabric down by her knees and tried to free her foot so she could stand without tugging down the front of the dress. His gaze dropped down, flicking back to meet hers rapidly. A slash of colour raced across his cheeks.

  ‘Your dress.’ His voice sounded strangled, so she looked down at her exposed breasts. Standing on her dress had pulled the top down, and her breasts had popped out. Thankfully she’d been wearing a bra—well, of course she had been—her breasts were too big to go free. She needed the support, and she was glad of it now as all he’d seen was the white lace covering her breasts. She scrambled to tug the fabric back up and cover herself, more apologies ready to fall off her tongue. With his arms still around her, it took a few wriggles to right her clothes and her fingers brushed against his chest as she tugged her dress up, tucking herself back into it.

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be.’ His grim expression sent a shiver across the back of her neck. Had she done something wrong? She gasped.

  ‘I didn’t do that on purpose. I’m not like that.’ She would be a fool if she hadn’t noticed the way Kiet tensed whenever Sam mentioned Elizabeth. Did he paint all women in the same bracket as her? A potential thief and fraudster? Before she could ask, he spread his hand across her back and pulled her impossibly closer. So close she could feel his erection against her round stomach. Oh.

  ‘I know.’ His eyes narrowed and she wondered how it was possible to feel so hot, with flickers of desire racing up her spine, and so confused by his anger at the same time. ‘What have you done to me?’ He concluded his impossible question with a kiss. If he hadn’t been holding her so close, she might have swooned at the sudden rush of sensation. His lips weren’t hard like his eyes, they coaxed her, playing, nibbling, until she relaxed against him. She wanted to enjoy the kiss. Because hell, she was seconds from being lost in it, but she couldn’t. She wriggled her arms until they came between them, and she pushed against his hard muscular chest. He broke the kiss, his breath rapid against her cheeks.

  ‘I haven’t done anything to you. Don’t punish me for a simple dress failure.’ Her own shallow breaths matched his, swirling together between their close faces.

  ‘That wasn’t a punishing kiss. I can give you one of those if you want.’

  She should ignore the blast of need that shot down into her core.

  ‘Yes. I want everything.’ She was done with pretending she didn’t feel desire, done with other people dictating how she ought to be
have. She wanted to understand the pleasure promised in Kiet’s kisses.

  ‘You don’t know what you are asking.’ Kiet’s eyes widened. Had she surprised him by saying yes? Good.

  ‘Show me.’ She could hear her heart beating, thundering in her chest. He growled and bent his head towards her. Their lips touched, too gentle, almost in a ghost of a kiss that didn’t exist, and she wanted more. If this was punishment, it was the kindest punishment ever invented.

  ‘More.’ The word fell out of her mouth on a whisper. He paused, long enough to tease, and she very nearly begged again. Just as she parted her lips to ask, he took advantage, and the world disappeared as he kissed her with skill and longing. Rough with his tongue probing her mouth, then gentle and soft giving her a breather before she knew she’d needed it. She followed his lead, learning as she kissed him back. The rich salty perfume of the sea swirled around her, imbued with his taste, rich and strong, with the hint of spice that reminded her of his cooking. When she stroked her tongue along his, his hips tilted against hers and she knew he’d liked that. She did it again and again until he lifted his head with his nostrils flaring.

  ‘What will I do with you?’ The kiss had somehow roughened his voice, and the gravelly low sound sent a fresh wave of pleasure skittering over her skin. His kiss made her breasts swell, and her nipples hard. She wanted him to pull her dress back down and kiss her there with no regard for the fabric.

  ‘More?’ Zoe cursed her own naivety. She wished she had more experience so she knew what to ask him for, but the way his gaze flashed told her it didn’t matter. He brushed his lips against hers once more. Why did that feel like goodbye?

  ‘I can’t.’ He lifted her, easily, as if she wasn’t an overweight woman—she cursed her mother’s interruption of this magical moment—as Kiet placed her two steps away from him on the jetty. She glanced around. Of course, he put her somewhere safe—far enough from the water so she wouldn’t fall in.

  ‘Why?’ She bit her bottom lip. The look in his eyes told her not to push, but she had to know. ‘Am I not good enough?’

  ‘Zoe.’ The way he spoke her name, with reverence, made her skin prickle all over with heat. ‘Zoe, there is no future with me, and I don’t want to hurt you.’

  ‘You won’t … hurt me.’ She hated the uncertainty in her voice and she inhaled deeply, taking his breath deep into her own lungs. It burned like chilli. She opened her mouth to repeat her statement—this time with certainty. He shook his head, shifting his body, so he stood with his legs spread wider on the jetty.

  ‘You don’t know me well enough. Trust me on this. You need to leave now.’

  Zoe raised one eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips as she considered him. He swallowed, staring out to sea as if he couldn’t stand to look at her. She thought back over all their conversations today, and finally she realised something. He pushed her away for one reason only.

  ‘You want me to leave so I don’t hurt you.’ The tiniest flinch at the corner of his mouth told her she was right. ‘I’m not going to hurt you, Kiet.’

  ‘Go. Just go. I don’t want to do something I regret.’

  ‘You don’t believe that. You would never threaten me like that.’ She didn’t believe he’d ever hurt her. He didn’t have it in him. He’d already made sure she wouldn’t fall—more than once—and he’d saved her from the car crash when he’d been reminded of his parent’s awful death. Every time he touched her, he did it with a reverence as if she were fragile and he wanted to protect her. He’d never hurt her. Not physically. Just emotionally—right now, as he pushed her away to protect his own heart. ‘You don’t have it in you to hurt someone on purpose.’

  His only answer was another growl before he turned and paced away. She couldn’t bring herself to feel pleased about being right because that meant no more of those glorious kisses.

  Chapter 13

  Kiet hid, like a damned coward, in the packing shed for the rest of the day. He’d threatened Zoe, and he’d never forgive himself for such cruelty. She hadn’t even had the sense to flinch at his tone. She’d ignored him and told him she trusted him. He didn’t know why she trusted him. He’d been nothing but his surly old self since they’d met. From the moment she’d stepped into the kitchen at that damned Christmas party and bantered with him as he’d shucked oysters for the guests, he hadn’t been able to resist her charms. She drew him in at a time when he didn’t want to let anyone close because his problems were bigger than he knew how to fix. He’d been unable to resist her, punishing himself by kissing her, and now he would never recover. Zoe’s taste was branded on his tongue. He’d tried everything, chugging back a glass of water, then chewing gum incessantly, but nothing got rid of her sweet succulent taste. As if he’d licked the top of a cupcake and the sweet icing filled his mouth with a pure sugary goodness. He’d always preferred umami tastes—savoury, like chilli or the salt of the sea—not this sweetness of Zoe’s kiss. She tasted like the ambrosia he’d spent his life hunting for, and that’s what scared the pants off him. He didn’t want to care for anyone. The farm and Sam were quite enough responsibility for him. He didn’t need anyone else, except he wanted Zoe forever. It made no logical sense. They’d only just met.

  He shouldn’t be thinking about the future. The memory of Pa’s voice lingered in the air. Boy, one day you’ll meet someone and you’ll know straight away that she, or he, is the one for you. You’ll be happy to fall because they will catch you. The mint in his chewing gum seemed to enhance the remnant of Zoe on his tongue. What hurt more than anything was her proclamation that he pushed her away to protect himself. He was tired of her being right all the time—so bloody insightful about everything—better than him at accounting, better at seeing himself. He cursed. Being mad about her accounting skills wasn’t real. He was just lashing out at everything, making the world into a target because he didn’t want her to be right. He didn’t want to get hurt, and it was easier to send her packing, than to fall any further. He had to push her away before he started to care about her.

  Kiet marched over to the rubbish bin and spat his sickly sweet gum out, glad to get rid of the reminder of her glorious kiss. He couldn’t let himself trust this feeling—no matter that Zoe was right and his Pa might just have been right too. Trust never came easily to him, and especially not now. Not so soon after Sam had trusted Elizabeth—look at the mess the farm was in now because Sam trusted the wrong person. He didn’t blame Sam, not really, because he’d let himself be fooled by Elizabeth too. Sam called her Lizzy, but he couldn’t bring himself to use the nickname, not when she’d tricked them both. Kiet had damned good reasons not to fall in love with Zoe. He’d pushed her away and tried his best to get rid of her taste on his tongue, because he needed time. Time alone. He had to save the farm, and that meant trusting no one. He wanted to go back to doing the thing he loved best: working with his hands. After visiting another oyster farm with Sam, and seeing their packing machine, he’d come home and built one of their own. The machine was cobbled together from old machinery, but it did the job and saved a massive amount of labour costs.

  An odd metallic whirring noise came from outside the shed, and he frowned as the sound dragged him away from his swirling thoughts. It sounded like a winch, but they didn’t own any machine that made that noise. Kiet poked his head out the door to investigate the odd sound, hoping it would be something he could fix because at least he knew he could do that. He needed to get out his toolbox and use his hands because that was the skill he brought to this farm.

  The whirring noise was the winch on a tow truck pulling Zoe’s broken car up a ramp onto the truck. Sam and the driver stood on the far side of the truck by the driver’s door, quietly chatting as the driver pushed buttons on the control box. No one had told him that her car was getting towed today. He stepped outside the packing shed, ready to quiz Sam about it, only to flinch before he could speak. Zoe stood beside the passenger door with her suitcase all packed. He marched over to her and every
step came with an ache that jarred his legs and punched into his chest.

  Her eyes widened as he approached. ‘Kiet.’

  ‘Are you leaving?’ He didn’t want her to leave, even though he’d just convinced himself it was the best thing for him. It was one thing to think about it, and quite another to see her leave. His breath caught in the back of his throat, scratchy like the bottom of a boat covered in barnacles. She drew in a deep breath, her chest swelling, and he refused to glance down at her lush form. The last thing he needed was a reminder of the way she’d stood on her dress earlier and accidentally exposed her bountiful breasts to him. His tongue tingled and he tensed his muscles to stay absolutely still. He wouldn’t follow his desire—it was just physical—it made no sense to let sex override his instincts.

  ‘Yes. It’s time.’

  ‘Don’t leave yet.’ He’d pushed her away after their boat ride, purposely. Now that she was actually going, he didn’t want her to leave him. Him. How could she leave him? Like everyone else had; even Elizabeth had left Sam. Eventually, everyone left. Sam would too, one day. Kiet knew Sam only stayed out of loyalty, that he didn’t really want to spend the rest of his life on the farm. She shook her head, and the corners of her mouth tugged downwards a fraction.

  ‘I’ve done all I can. I’ll call you when I get confirmation about the ownership of Lindsey Transport, and thus of Tanner’s Farm Equipment.’

  ‘Is it the—’ he lowered his voice, ‘—kiss?’

  ‘I think you made it clear that you don’t want anything more. It’s better if I leave.’

  He crossed his arms. ‘I didn’t mean it that way.’

  ‘Oh, right. When you said I should go before I got hurt, and I mentioned that maybe you didn’t want to be hurt by me … that’s not what you meant?’

  Kiet stayed silent as a whine of protest rushed through his head. She was right again: he didn’t want to be hurt by getting too close to her, but he didn’t want to chase her away either. He ground his back teeth together as he tried to figure out what to say next. He didn’t want her to go—that’s not what he’d meant. Everyone left him and he wanted her to be the first person who stayed, but he must be messed up because he couldn’t get rid of the nagging mistrust. Why was she leaving right now? Just as the identity of the scammer was about to be unveiled—or was it? Had she misled them?