by M J Hardy
Leaning down, he plants a deep kiss on my lips and my heart settles. Tom doesn’t know Isabel, that’s obvious. However, I feel bad for her because it must be hard seeing your dead fiancé’s double while you’re still coming to terms with losing him in the first place. I feel bad now for inviting her and putting her through more pain.
The day turns to evening and the conversation gets louder. After the drama of earlier, things settle down and, on the whole, the party’s a huge success. I catch sight of Isabel finally relaxing and chatting to everyone. She appears to be enjoying herself and I smile as Tina whispers, “That was a bit intense earlier. I felt bad for her.”
I nod, “Me too. Who knew Tom had a double out there?”
Tina nods. “It must have been quite a shock for Isabel. She handled it well though.”
We watch her laughing at something Harry says and Tina rolls her eyes. “God knows what he’s saying to her, poor woman. Harry can be quite crude when he’s had a few.”
We watch as Tom joins them and I relax when I see Isabel smiling at him with none of the surprise of earlier. Tom and Harry are obviously joking because she laughs fit to burst and Tina laughs softly. “They’re good together.”
“Who?”
She rolls her eyes. “Harry and Tom, of course. They spark off each other and are good friends. I’m glad they’ve got each other just like I’m glad I’ve got you.”
I nudge her and say jokingly, “You’re getting a little sentimental, how many have you had?”
She shakes her head. “A lot, however, I mean every word. I love you guys like my own family. Whatever happens in our future, let’s make sure we never turn our back on our friendship.”
Reaching out, I pull her close and say softly, “That would never happen. You’re stuck with us – forever!”
She laughs and points at the little figures fast asleep in two deckchairs nearby. “Maybe we should get those two-party animals off to bed.”
Laughing, we head off to retrieve our children.
8
I don’t see Isabel for a couple of weeks and so I’m surprised when I bump into her in the supermarket. I almost run my trolley into hers and as I look up, say with surprise, “Isabel, goodness, I haven’t seen you since the barbeque.”
She looks a little happier than the last time I saw her and I hope that things are finally settling down.
She smiles and says lightly, “Thanks for the invitation, I really enjoyed myself. You know, I’m glad I ran into you. I meant to drop you a text to apologise for that little episode of mine when I met your husband.”
“Oh, think nothing of it. It must have been a shock if he looks similar to your fiancé.”
She nods sadly. “To be honest, I think I see him everywhere. I wonder if I’ll ever get over this.”
She looks so sad I feel a surge of compassion and say gently, “Would you like to grab a coffee and talk about it?”
She looks at me gratefully and nods. “I would if you have time.”
We pay for our groceries and take a seat in the coffee shop and Isabel sighs. “It’s the not knowing, Karen. I know he left a note and his clothes were by the lake but it just doesn’t add up.”
I have to agree with her. I mean, if you were going to commit suicide, why would you undress?
I nod in agreement and say softly, “Would you like to tell me what happened?”
She nods. “Eddie was an amazing man. He was fun to be with and such an attentive boyfriend. We hadn’t been together long, only about four months.”
She laughs at the surprise on my face. “I know, it was what is classed as a whirlwind romance.”
“Where did you meet?”
Her eyes soften and she looks happy at the memory. “We met online. Tinder to be precise. We messaged each other for a while and then he suggested we meet up.”
She laughs nervously. “I never thought I’d resort to online dating, but it’s difficult to meet men when you spend all day with children. It does get kind of lonely so a friend suggested I uploaded my profile. I did get some idiots and was almost put off for life and then I met Eddie.”
“It must have been difficult.”
She nods, “It was but when Eddie popped up, it made it all worthwhile. Not everybody on those sites are duds and after a while we agreed to meet. We met in a local bar and I was very nervous but as soon as I met him, it just felt right. I never believed in love at first sight until then. Now I know it’s possible.”
Despite the happiness in her eyes at the memory it just makes my heart break even more for her. This is devastating and I almost can’t bear to hear anymore but she laughs lightly. “You know, in those four months, I think we lived a lifetime. It was quite difficult because he had a demanding job and we only managed to meet once a week but we spoke via Skype all the time. Mind you, the time we did spend together was magical and meant even more because it was precious.”
I’m not sure why but the alarm bells are ringing loudly in my mind. To me, as an outsider, this doesn’t add up. If I were guessing I’d say that Eddie was stringing her along because who can only commit to one day a week? I feel bad for her because I’ve heard about married men who join these sites to get a bit of excitement back in their lives. It’s a breeding ground for affairs and I hope for Isabel’s sake this isn’t what happened here.
She carries on unaware of my thoughts and says sadly, “When he asked me to marry him, I couldn’t believe it. It was the full works. You know, posh meal, candlelight, champagne - the dream. Of course, I said yes because I was in love with him. We couldn’t wait to start planning our future and I was going to look for a job near him.”
“Where are you from originally then?”
“Southampton. Not a million miles away but if we wanted to make it work, we needed to set up home together. You know, Karen everything was going so well. Eddie told me he was waiting on a big bonus from work that would pay for us to go abroad to get married with enough left for a down payment on a house. I couldn’t believe my luck and was counting down the days.”
“What did he do, for a job I mean?”
She says proudly, “He was a banker, in the city. You know, it’s hard for them because they have so much pressure heaped on them but the money’s good. He told me he was due a bonus of at least a quarter of a million pounds, which I’m not going to lie, blew my mind.”
Isabel looks totally different as she talks about Eddie. Her face is relaxed and her eyes have lost the dull ache that sits inside them most of the time. My heart feels heavy as I see what she’s lost and I wonder if this Eddie guy was all he professed to be. Then her face falls, and she says sadly, “I only spoke to him the night before the accident. He was expecting his bonus the next day and then we were going to go house hunting at the weekend. The next time I heard of him was a few days later when the police called. Apparently, they found my number written by the phone in his apartment and called me.”
I stare at her with a shocked expression. “Were you the first person they called? What about his family?”
She shrugs sadly. “I never met them. In fact, I still haven’t. There’s no record of anyone in his flat other than me. No other addresses or correspondence. The officer told me it almost appeared as if he was living out of a suitcase because all they found were a few clothes and personal items.”
She raises her eyes and says falteringly, “That doesn’t sound right does it, Karen?”
I shake my head and say sadly, “I’m sorry Isabel, I don’t think it does.”
She looks down and points to the watch on her wrist. “This is the only thing I have left. He left it when he stayed over the last time and I was going to give it back to him when I saw him again – but I never did.”
As I look down my world stops still. I blink and then look again before saying roughly, “May I?”
She looks at me in surprise and removes the watch, handing it to my eagerly awaiting hands. As I grasp the watch, I almost dare not look. Silently I pray, please no, p
lease no, but as I turn the watch over a dagger pierces my heart as I see the inscription.
TKJ
For a second, I freeze, unsure what to do next. I suppose ever since I saw Isabel’s reaction to Tom, I’ve been kind of expecting this but nothing prepares me for the pain I feel as I see my husband’s watch that I bought him in her possession.
She says in a worried voice, “What is it, you look terrible?”
Raising my eyes to hers, I say in a strangled voice, “This is Tom’s watch.”
9
I’m not sure who is more shocked, me or Isabel. For a moment we stare at each other in disbelief and then she says in a small voice, “I’m sorry, Karen.”
I shake my head slowly, “But it can’t be. Tom isn’t Eddie, I know he isn’t.”
She looks at me with worried eyes. “Are you sure, I mean he is the spitting image of him? I know he said he didn’t know me but do you think it was all an act?”
I almost shout, “No! I know Tom and he can’t lie. I watched him closely and there was nothing – not a hint of recognition from the moment he laid eyes on you, he’s not that good an actor.”
An awkward silence falls between us before I say in a hard voice, “Do you have a photograph of Eddie?”
Isabel looks a little embarrassed and says in a small voice, “No.”
“No?”
Shaking her head, she sighs sadly. “This is going to reinforce your view of him but he never wanted his photograph taken. He always took them of me and if I did manage to get one, he always deleted it.”
She laughs bitterly. “I was a fool, wasn’t I, Karen?”
I look down at the watch and think about Tom and what he used to be like. Is it possible that Eddie is Tom? There’s only one way to find out.
Looking up at Isabel, I try to gather whatever dignity I have left. “Do you mind if I keep this? I think I need to speak to my husband.”
She nods looking embarrassed and I stand to leave.
“I’m sorry, I need some time to think about this. I’ll talk to Tom and try to figure this out. If he is Eddie, I’ll soon know about it.”
Isabel looks at me with tears in her eyes and says sadly, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No. I think I need to do this on my own. I’ll let you know what happens, one way or the other.”
I’m not sure if I’m mistaken but a flash of excitement sparks in Isabel’s eyes. It slightly unnerves me because in that split second, the shy, embarrassed, sweet woman she is, has been replaced by one who looks almost triumphant. Maybe if I didn’t see that look it would make this easier, but it strikes me as odd after the last half an hour. Is Isabel all that she seems and can I really believe what she told me? When you weigh up the evidence, I only have her word to hold on to.
Making my excuses, I leave as quickly as possible, clutching Tom’s watch in my hand, completely unsure about what to do next.
When a storm hits, it is natural to run for cover. The trouble is, the only place I can run to is into the eye of it and as I sit in my car, I struggle to think of a place I can go to think. Some women would race home immediately and confront their husband. They would shout and scream and demand answers but I’m not one of those women.
The trouble is, there’s that part of me that doesn’t want to know. Things have been so good between us since he was mugged, I don’t want anything to affect that. As I think back to the days before the attack, I wouldn’t hesitate to believe Tom was Eddie. Could it be that the mugging made Tom realise his priorities and knocked some sense into him? It’s likely because from what Isabel says, it was about that time that Eddie disappeared. There are too many coincidences for it not to be Tom but I know what I saw. I was looking out for it and when Tom saw Isabel there was nothing to suggest that he had ever seen her before.
Clutching the watch, I run through every possible scenario in my mind but can’t ignore the obvious. Isabel has Tom’s watch and how did she come to be in possession of it? The only rational explanation must be because Tom left it there.
I can’t face going home, so head off to see the only other person I confide everything to outside of my husband. My best friend – Tina.
Luckily, the boys are at a friend’s house this afternoon and I’m not due to pick them up for another hour. As I knock on her door, I wonder if I should confide in her. After all, there may be a simple explanation for all of this. Tom will be angry if he finds out I’ve discussed it with her before him. However, it involves him and he could be the problem. I need to talk to someone neutral in all of this before I go mad.
One look at my face and Tina immediately knows something’s up. She grabs my hand and pulls me inside, saying with concern, “What’s happened?”
I follow her into the kitchen and sit down heavily on the bar stool and lay Tom’s watch on the counter.
She looks at it in confusion and says, “What? It’s a man’s watch.”
The tears well in my eyes and I say roughly, “Tom’s watch.”
Cocking her head to one side, she shrugs, “So, what’s the problem?”
“Isabel had it.”
“Why, did she find it or something?”
I laugh bitterly. “Yes, beside her bed when her fiancé left it there.”
The shock in Tina’s eyes almost makes me laugh like a madwoman. She just stares at me in confusion and then says firmly, “Right then, start at the beginning.”
By the time I fill her in on what Isabel said, she looks as sick as I feel.
Shaking her head, she says roughly, “Listen, I know this looks bad but can you trust her account of things? I mean, when you look at the actual evidence, all she has is this watch. The rest is just her words and I’m not going lie Karen but there’s something odd about that woman. This is all a little too textbook for my liking. Do you think she’s taken a fancy to Tom and is setting out to destroy your marriage?”
“But why? She didn’t know Tom until the barbeque. This story was told long before that meeting.”
Tina shrugs. “So what? She may have seen him somewhere before. Who knows, she may have worked with him in the past, gone to school with him – anything? I’m not sure you can completely trust her story.”
Shaking my head, I pick up the watch. “But how did she get the watch? Surely that’s enough evidence in itself. There is no way she could have this unless…”
Tina looks shocked. “Do you think Isabel mugged Tom?”
I almost laugh at the thought of the petite woman inflicting the type of injuries on Tom that I saw and shake my head.
“No, I don’t think it was her. However, you do have a point. Maybe it was Eddie who attacked him? That would work. Perhaps Eddie mugged Tom, took his watch and possessions. He could have been hiding behind a false identity and even made himself look like Tom.”
Tina nods emphatically. “That’s it. Of course, it is.”
She reaches for the kettle and says happily, “You know, I knew there would be a simple explanation for this. Tom is besotted with you, of course, he would never cheat.”
I try to share her belief but the saying ‘And pigs might fly’ come to mind. The Tom he used to be would be more than capable of cheating. However, am I prepared to ruin this perfect life we have now by challenging him with this and does it matter anymore? Should I just paper over the cracks and carry on as normal, putting this down as a fanciful tale?
As Tina hands me the mug of tea, I think I come to a decision. I am. Rightly or wrongly, I can’t go back to how things were before. I just can’t.
10
Despite what I decided, it’s hard. I find myself being off with Tom and I can tell he’s confused. I don’t want him to touch me and there’s something big and catastrophic sitting between us and I don’t know what to do about it.
It must be a week later when he comes home, he sends Jack off to play on the PlayStation and closes the kitchen door.
I look at him in surprise and he says firmly, “Talk to me, what�
�s bothering you?”
I try to brush it off. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired. Work is quite demanding and I feel as if I’m coming down with something.”
I lower my eyes in case he sees the lies resting in them and he moves across and raises my chin to face him.
“Bullshit!”
“Excuse me?”
He looks irritated. “I know when you’re lying and this is all Bullshit. What’s the real problem?”
I can’t help it and my resolve crumbles and my eyes fill with tears. He looks surprised and pulls me gently towards him, whispering, “It’s ok, darling. You can tell me, whatever it is.”
Just for a moment, I snuggle into his chest and allow him to wrap his arms around me. I wish it didn’t matter, but it does. I need to know the truth even though I might not like it. Surely, we are strong enough to get through anything life throws at us?
So, with a sigh, I pull away and move to the bag hanging on the peg behind the door.
I take out the watch and hold it out to him.
“Yours I believe.”
He looks surprised, and a little confused but I don’t miss the alarm enter his eyes.
“Where did you get this?”
“Isabel gave it to me.”
He looks confused which settles my nerves – a little.
“How did she get hold of this?”
I shake my head and say nervously, “It belonged to her fiancé.”
Tom just stares at me in disbelief and then at the watch. I can see the cogs turning in his mind and after what feels like forever, he says in a broken voice, “He stole this.”
I catch my breath. “Who?”
He raises tortured eyes to mine and I wish I could rewind this conversation and had kept my mouth shut as I see he’s back there at the moment his life unravelled, and he changed forever.
Sitting beside him, I take his hand, “The man who mugged you?”
He nods and I don’t miss the anguish in his eyes. Rubbing his back, I say softly, “Do you want to talk about it?”