Beck

by Toye Lawson Brown

  I stood and took the leather satchel. Abbie protested at first then relented. “Let’s go,” I said.

  I walked ahead of her, catching the eye of the pretty blonde behind the counter as I strolled by. I had a bit of wind in my chest and puffed it out because I knew she’d look. She smiled, and I walked out the door and to the car, feeling a little taller. I still had it.

  After I opened the door and Abbie slid inside, I trotted around to the driver’s side. “Directions to the station?”

  She gave me a quizzical look. “Your mood is different,” she said. Then she smiled. “I get it. The pretty blonde threw you some game? Be honest.”

  I felt the heat of the blush creep up my neck and to my cheeks. “She was flirting a bit.”

  “Nothing wrong with that. The owners are really nice people, but the food was not good.”

  “I thought it was just me,” I said. “The donut was bad. It was dry and not flavorful like a donut should be.”

  “Right. I’ll get negative feedback from the people who tried it for the first time and didn’t like it.”

  “That’ll be rough for them. The line was down the block,” I said.

  “The show encourages businesses to invite friends and family to the restaurant or bakery on the day we tape. They don’t want to showcase an empty place unless it’s just the chef and me.”

  “Makes sense.” I pulled into traffic to head to her office. Abbie went quiet again and stared out the window. It was a beautiful day. People were out enjoying the Monday morning.

  I heard her take in a breath before she said, “You should call her.”

  Keeping my eyes on the road because of the heavy traffic merging on I-480, I couldn’t look at her. “I was tempted but decided against it.”

  “Why?”

  “My hands are full right now. I wouldn’t want to drag you along on a date with us.”

  “I’m fine spending an evening alone, Beck. You deserve a day off.”

  “Well, I could use a day off, but not to date, to throw back a few beers and digest my problems.” I couldn’t believe I’d said that out loud.

  “I forgot about your ex-girlfriend getting married,” she said. “God, relationships suck. We give everything we have to make someone else happy, and they trample over your heart like it’s nothing.”

  The hurt in her voice was intense. If I looked at her, I’d bet she had tears in her eyes. The thing I’d learned about Abbie was that she was strong as an ox. She’d handled herself yesterday with dignity.

  I assumed that, because I didn’t hear any yelling coming from the house to alert me that anything was wrong. An irrational woman would’ve had the other woman running out the house butt-naked, fearing for her life. Abbie handled herself with class, waiting to lose her shit until she was alone.

  “I didn’t quite go through what you did, but it still hurts the same,” I said.

  “If he had cheated on me before or I had an inkling he was a cheater, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so badly,” she said, fighting the trembling that crept into her voice.

  Fuck, she was crying. “I don’t think so. We fall in love with people; we give them our trust. When we catch them in the act of breaching that love and trust, it doesn’t matter what they’ve done in the past. It is now facing you in all its glory. That’s a hard-ass pill to swallow.”

  “Well, never again. Once I recover from this crap, no man will ever tie me up in emotional entanglements again.”

  “That’ll change as time heals your heart. You’re young and have a lot of life to live. Trust me, you don’t want to be alone forever.”

  “You’re giving me advice, but what about you? Will you plunge in to love again?”

  “Oh, I’ll get involved with women again. I won’t look for love or companionship, more for need.”

  “You are not talking about…” She laughed. “You don’t seem the type to do the no-strings-attached hookups.”

  I chuckled. “A man will do what a man has to do.”

  I exited the highway and drove the few miles to Channel 7. I pulled up to the gate, and Abbie instructed the guard to let us through. He handed me a visitor’s pass that Abbie had had made for me.

  As we got out of the car, I saw her reach for her ringing cell phone. She swiped it open and groaned.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  “He just won’t leave me alone,” she said, and stormed up to the double glass doors.

  I shook my head, hoping this guy wouldn’t become a problem I had to deal with later.

  Chapter Eight

  Abbie

  The day had been rough for me. By the time Beck and I left the television station, I was wiped out emotionally and physically. Sleep evaded me because the images of Eddie and his snow bunny on the bed, her screaming his name and him laying it down hard, just wouldn’t go away.

  If there was ever a person I truly wanted to hurt, it was him. His betrayal had hurt me more than when my parents split. Eddie knew how I felt about infidelity. He knew what my father had done to my mother was a sore spot, and why I’d questioned him on where our relationship was going.

  I took a Pepsi from the fridge and went out to the deck to be alone. I needed a minute to unwind, to peel off the mask I’d put on to make it through the day. My coworkers had no idea I was dying inside; that was how good I was at hiding my feelings.

  If Stella had been at work today, she would’ve known. We were that close and always knew when something was bothering one of us. Thank goodness she wasn’t there today. I was not ready to explain it.

  I set the pop down, then picked up my phone and swiped it open. The number of texts today was stupid crazy. I hadn’t expected to hear from Eddie ever again, but all through the first segment of the show this morning, he was blowing up my phone, so much that I had to shut it off.

  The messages started again when I turned it back on when the show was over. Initially, I thought it was Dad, concerned about my well-being. I hadn’t talked to him and wasn’t sure if Beck was in touch with him daily.

  I stole a moment to check my phone and saw it was Eddie. The bastard had broken my heart less than twenty-four hours ago, and he was texting me? What the hell could he want?

  I had nothing of his. He hadn’t given me any keepsakes to reclaim. He’d take me to dinner, movies, or a concert, but never gave me physical gifts, always claiming he didn’t have any money. He wasn’t dropping dollars on me for our dates either. I paid, or the tickets were complimentary from businesses I had covered, or from companies wanting to be on the show. Eddie would occasionally win tickets to a movie or a comedy show, and dinners came with a two-for-one coupon.

  Exactly why was I feeling so broken he was gone?

  I always knew he was cheap. The cost of keeping a woman on the side had to be expensive. However, she didn’t know about me; he didn’t have to pay her to stay silent.

  Some black men who dated women outside their race had an image to uphold. They loved to show these women off and make their friends jealous. No. I couldn’t imagine Eddie showering her with expensive gifts either.

  Eddie spent money on himself. He was a flashy dresser, which was why he was always broke. The house was inherited from his grandmother. It was paid for; all he had to do was keep the property taxes current. I’d given him jewelry, clothes, designer sneakers, and even co-signed for his car. My name would be coming off that soon.

  If I sounded petty, I was. Eddie had hurt me in a way no one ever had. Not even when my father married Trina.

  The original Mrs. Parker, Elouise Rose, handled it like a boss, and which was why I was able to do the same. I learned control from my mother. Her motto was to never let a man make you look bad. I’d be damned if I’d let Eddie make me look bad or feel like a loser.

  I swiped open my phone to reread the messages.

  Eddie: We need to talk. Call me.

  I continued to read each message with fury building in my bones. Each was similar in context. Hell would freeze
over before I’d call or text him. He had said enough to me, as far as I was concerned.

  I picked up my pop, sat back on the wicker swing, and took a long sip. I could use something stronger than a Pepsi, but it was too early in the day. My day began at four in the morning. I traveled to the destination to do the interview or whatever and finish at the station. I was home before noon. That was how it went unless breaking news happened and I was asked to stick around.

  I was a journalist and covered a wide range of stories. From grand openings to riding rollercoasters before the break of dawn. I’d even covered the new zoo arrivals. Those were the fun parts of my job. Covering murders, shootings, or other adrenaline rushing news, not so much.

  I crossed my legs, letting the heat of the day bathe me.

  Even with how our breakup went, I still loved that fool. Although I knew I would never be with him again. Not with the vivid images reminding me what he’d done. And not after hearing the confession of love for one another.

  I felt the swing dip when Beck sat next to me. “You know none of this is your fault, right? He did all of this.” The swing gently rocked back and forth with his motion.

  I swiped the tears from my cheeks. “I know, but I share some blame somewhere. I have to stop thinking about what happened and move on, but it’s still too fresh.”

  “Of course it’s fresh. I’m impressed you were smiling at all today. How you handled yourself at the bakery shows how strong you are, Abbie. Don’t let him take that away from you.”

  I shook my head. “I hate him,” I said, holding in the river of tears that wanted to fall.

  “You hate what he did to you. I would even say you’re more disappointed that he disrespected you.”

  “You’re right. To hate someone is taxing and emotionally depleting. We only end up damaging ourselves.”

  He chuckled. “I never thought of it that way, and you are absolutely correct.”

  I sighed, letting my body slump from the weight on my shoulders. “I don’t know how I made it through work today without breaking down. So many times, I wanted to storm out of there and run. Run until I couldn’t breathe.”

  “I did run. You don’t want to be like me and lose your life and identity because of running.”

  I looked at Beck’s sad eyes. The crooked smile had gone from his face.

  “Do you mind if I ask what happened?”

  “I don’t really talk about it,” he said. Then his cell phone rang, but he ignored it.

  “Can you give me the highlights?”

  Beck ran his hands down the front of his black trousers. He looked beautiful in a suit. His darkness fit well with the black suit, pressed white shirt, and straight black tie. His shoes were polished black. He was a little overdressed, in my opinion, to be a bodyguard. In New York, bouncers and bodyguards wore dark T-shirts with slacks or dark jeans. GDB upped their game to be above the rest.

  “Revealing my background might be too much for you right now. Maybe later. Are you hungry?”

  I wasn’t until he mentioned it. “I guess I could eat. What are you in the mood for … breakfast or lunch?” I asked.

  “I don’t want you to cook. How about we go out to eat? The day is too beautiful to sit in the house. Unless you want to get some sleep. You look tired.”

  Suddenly I felt revived and got to my feet. “No, I want to get out too. And I know where I want to go. I mean if you’re comfortable around my people?”

  His brow rose. “Your people? You want to visit your family?”

  I smiled. “No. I want to go to Ja’Nell’s. It’s a fancy restaurant owned by a local minister and his family. The food is great, and the atmosphere is for everyone to enjoy—not just black people.”

  He paled monetarily before his color came back. “Okay, if that’s where you want to go, I’m game.”

  I put my hand on his arm. The hardness below the soft material of the suit was a surprise. He had held me yesterday, but I didn’t recall his body being so firm. Oh, wait, it was coming back to me. His chest had felt fantastic under my head.

  I had gone on dates with black, white, and Hispanic men. I could honestly say that all of them treated me differently. Granted, I hadn’t slept with any of them except Garo. He was Hispanic and was the only other serious boyfriend I’d had before Eddie.

  We met during our junior year in high school and dated to the beginning of our senior year, before the relationship ended. Garo’s mother didn’t approve of me the day he brought me home to meet her. Although I came from an affluent family, I wasn’t good enough for Garo. It was clear she wanted him to keep the bloodline intact. Well, Garo didn’t reflect her views, but they were paying the bills, which included his tuition to college.

  So with a broken heart, we parted ways. I still had classes with Garo, and my heart wept every time I ran into him and Gilda, the woman he eventually married. The pretty Hispanic woman bore him five beautiful babies, the first coming right after graduation. We were the same age, and I couldn’t imagine having five kids at twenty-seven.

  I drew myself back to the present. “We can go somewhere else. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

  Beck smiled that crooked sexy grin he probably wasn’t aware drove women crazy. “It will be all right. Wait, should I change?”

  I shook my head. “You look great. But give me a minute to shed this suit and put on a comfortable dress.”

  An hour later, we arrived at Ja’Nell’s. I hadn’t been here in a while, and it hadn’t changed much. The décor had been updated, but the atmosphere and friendly staff were the same.

  “Order what you want; my treat,” I said to Beck.

  He frowned. “I asked you to dinner. This is my treat.”

  “Thank you. Feeling special right now is the ego boost I need.”

  “C’mon, you don’t need an ego boost. Just remember the pain is temporary.”

  I nodded and took a sip of my cocktail. The spiked lemonade tickled my palate with the right amount of zing and alcohol.

  “How is your coffee? I hate you can’t have a drink.”

  “I’m on the job, so coffee will do. But it’s good,” Beck said.

  I ran my finger around the rim of the glass. “Have you decided to call the girl from the bakery?”

  “I won’t call her. She was sweet but not my type.”

  “What is your type? Let me guess. Tall, sexy body, long hair, expressive eyes with popping color. Am I close?”

  He chuckled. “Close enough. Let me take a stab at your type. Remember I didn’t see your boyfriend.”

  I let that slip of the tongue slide, as hurt rose in my throat. “Okay, go for it.”

  He rubbed his hands together. “Um, tall and muscular is a must. He has to be able to carry his weight, have broad shoulders for you to lean on when needed. Sensitive, but not enough to overpower his masculinity. And trustworthy. Once a man betrays your trust, there is no coming back. You’ll be able to forgive, but not give your heart to him again.”

  My throat tightened. How did Beck do that? Of course, many of the qualities ruled Eddie out, but that was precisely what I looked for in a man. Had I been short-changing myself by falling for the good looks and charm first?

  Crap!

  I shrugged. “What can I say? You are right. Were you a profiler at one time?”

  He grinned as the waitress came to the table to take our order. What was he hiding, and why didn’t he want to talk about his last job? I would eventually get it out of him.

  Chapter Nine

  Beck

  After we finish feasting on grilled lemon chicken, roasted asparagus, and mashed potatoes, I was full beyond my comfort level. If I could, I would’ve unbuttoned my pants so I could breathe.

  Abbie was right; the food was outstanding, and the atmosphere was warm and inviting. I liked the place and would eat there again. For a fancy restaurant, the prices were reasonable, and the service quick and with a smile.

  We didn’t get any odd glares since t
he patrons were a mixture of all races. I felt relaxed the whole time.

  Our conversation flowed with ease, and Abbie was stunning in a white sleeveless mini dress with lace, thick-heeled sandals, and her hair thick and curly around her shoulders. The pearl jewelry matched the outfit perfectly. That guy was a fucking fool to mess around on her. I wished I could’ve seen the other woman. I had a hard time picturing her more attractive than the woman sitting across the table from me.

  I didn’t know why we tended to be led by our dicks. When Abbie lived in another state that would likely be a reason for Eddie to cheat. But why now? Whatever his reasons, he would come to regret this mistake.

  I paid the bill, and we left the restaurant, not yet ready to return home. We took a drive through Amish Country and got fruit and bread. On the way back, we stopped at the lake.

  The sun was setting to lay the day to rest with dusky hues of red, purple, and blue bouncing off the water. Soon the stars would light the clear night sky. The setting and weather made it a beautiful evening for a stroll along the lakefront.

  We got ice cream and went for a walk along the pier. The view wasn’t Lake Michigan or as busy as Navy Pier, but beautiful. There weren’t as many people crammed around, waiting to get on any rides. None of that was on this pier, but it was a Monday evening, and people did have to work the next morning—including me.

  Although I didn’t leave the premises, I made sure to be up early and before Abbie.

  Since I’d been in Cleveland, I’d noticed that not many took advantage of what the city offered. Chicagoans were up all night taking advantage of the nightlife; Clevelanders went to bed on time.

  That could be good, though; bad things happened after dark. If most people were home and in bed, crime would decrease.

  “How is your ice cream?” I asked. She had chocolate praline, and I had rum raisin.

  “Good, but I’m done with it,” Abbie answered. “Can we take a break? My feet are killing me. We did a lot of walking today.”

  I was done too, so that break would be great. I remembered the heels Abbie wore, and her feet were probably hurting. I leaned across the railing, admiring the calm water. Being with Abbie was different. I didn’t have anything to prove to her.