Blood Lite II: Overbite

by Kevin J. Anderson

  “No, no, NO!” Gorger screamed, but that only drove the revenge-starved Byakhee into greater frenzy. Gorger tried stopping them, crushing swarmed humans and Byakhee alike.

  “Is this part of the toast?!” Shebboth asked, clapping his claws together.

  “No!” shouted Gorger, but it was too late. He killed Byakhee by the score, but the only humans that remained were human remains. The trees dripped with their blood, the ground was littered with their body parts. The Byakhee simply vanished, cackling madly at the mayhem.

  Gorger collapsed against the mountain face, unmindful of the bloody litter around him.

  “Wow,” Shebboth said, examining the surrounding destruction. “This all looks so familiar, huh?”

  “Shut up,” Gorger said. He sat there a few moments before finally standing and wiping the gore from himself. He could no longer look at the red-glazed jungle.

  “What now?” Shebboth asked.

  “We join the others at the new world,” he said, casting a forlorn last look back at the barren Earth. “This time, we’ll do it right,” he said to himself, nodding. “This time it’ll be different.”

  “That’s the spirit!” Shebboth cheered, patting his friend on the back. Without another word, both of them vanished in a twinkling of the darkness they called home. To face another eon. And dwell on all the might have beens.

  Tails

  JOHN R. LITTLE

  Marie was late getting home from work, but she had a good reason. I could tell as soon as she climbed out of her car.

  It’s not that I snoop on my wife or anything, but I just happened to be looking out the big bay window in the living room when her tan Honda Civic pulled into the driveway.

  She yawned briefly, then clamped her mouth shut as she slammed the door and pushed the button on her keyless remote. I could hear the car’s faint beep drift through the window.

  She smiled and waved at me, her long blond hair flowing behind her in the wind. For about the millionth time, I thanked the gods that had brought us together a dozen years earlier.

  Of course, smiles are deceiving, so although it was nice to see, that’s not what told me she was in a good mood.

  It was her tail pointing up to the sky that gave her away. It was doing some serious wagging.

  I love Marie’s tail. It’s a beautiful blond color, exactly matching her hair. She keeps it immaculately groomed, even though that costs her a lunch hour every couple of weeks when she heads to the groomer.

  My tail, on the other hand, is pathetic. I can’t remember the last time I had the thing trimmed, let alone a complete grooming.

  When Marie came through the front door, I smiled and gave her a long hug and kiss. I reached behind her and loosely grasped the base of her tail. The feel of it swishing faster and faster was so damned erotic.

  Her tail was average length, about two feet, but wonderfully thick—my fingers barely reached around it. My own tail started to sway slowly as I rubbed hers.

  “What’s the good news?” I asked when we finally broke apart.

  She laughed and glanced behind her. “Can’t much hide it, can I?”

  My tail was swaying in time with hers now. I was always so happy to have my wife home. She worked in downtown Detroit, twenty miles away, making tons of money investing other people’s cash, while I looked for marketing opportunities on the Internet. Most days, my wagger dragged pretty low until I got a good look at her coming through the front door.

  “Let’s get a glass of wine,” she suggested.

  I poured as we slid into a couple of old rattan kitchen chairs, carefully guiding ourselves through the wooden slots.

  Thwack, thwack, thwack.

  I laughed, knowing she was dying to tell me what was up. She wouldn’t be able to stop swinging until she told me.

  “I got a promotion!” she finally said. It looked like she wanted to leap out of the chair, but she held back at the last minute, not wanting to injure herself. “Vice president of investment banking!”

  “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”

  We clinked glasses while I secretly wondered what investment banking might be. I had absolutely no idea what Marie really did from nine to five, but it was easy to see she was ecstatic.

  Thwack, thwack, thwack.

  The wine had been sitting in the fridge for a week or more, a bottle partially drunk in front of the latest Survivor season premiere. I wondered if we had more wine in the basement. It seemed like we might want to be doing a lot of celebrating.

  Thwack, thwack.

  I was momentarily surprised that it was my tail banging the chair this time. Not as rapidly as Marie’s, but at least she could tell I was happy for her. She smiled broadly when she heard the sound, and my heart melted as it always did, which just made my tail swing a bit faster.

  We caught up on the rest of the day’s news. My side was pretty boring. The letter carrier dropped off a couple of books I had ordered, I picked up a precooked ham to warm up for dinner, and the cat had puked on the living room rug.

  I didn’t much want to concentrate on the cat mess, so I told Marie about a homeless guy who was wandering the street earlier in the day. “You wouldn’t have believed how terrible he looked. Tail just hanging straight down from his tail-hole, and I could see bugs crawling all over it. I thought I was bad about getting to the groomer, but maybe it takes somebody like that to really show you how lucky we are.” I sipped my wine and added, “No life in him at all. Limp as a dead snake.”

  Marie nodded. I knew she didn’t really care about things like that.

  She told me more about the meeting where she got her promotion.

  “I hadn’t expected anything at all like this,” she said. “Robby called me in after lunch, and I’m sure he knew I was worried. I was just swaying back and forth restlessly. He must have enjoyed watching me.”

  Robby was the president of the investment company. I couldn’t remember his last name. I’d only met him once and wasn’t impressed.

  “He just stretched things out, didn’t tell me what we were meeting about for almost ten minutes. Yapping about this and that. He even made me stand the whole time. I’m sure he was just enjoying watching my reaction. At least I thought so, at first, but . . .”

  I looked at her. “But?”

  She shook her head. “He was just making a point.”

  Now I was more puzzled than ever. He sounded like an asshole to me, making her show her emotions in front of him.

  “How did you do?”

  “Damned tail just wouldn’t stay still. Slow circles, but sometimes it tried to hide between my legs. I was worried sick, thinking maybe he was going to fire me or something. There was that series of layoffs a couple months ago. Remember I told you about that?”

  My tail drooped and dragged back and forth above the linoleum as I tried to think back. Did she tell me something about that?

  “Don’t worry,” she said, letting me off the hook. “Like I said, he was just trying to make a point.”

  “I still don’t understand,” I said.

  “My new job . . . so much of it involves talking to very senior investors. Chief financial officers of Fortune 500 companies, mostly.” She gulped down her wine and went to the fridge to pour some more.

  No thwacking anymore.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Well, it’s just that the deals are so much bigger than I’m used to. If I’m talking to a prospective customer, and I know I’ve got him hooked, I can’t have my tail lifting up and pointing up at the ceiling. The customer would know how excited I was.” She shook her head. “The sale would be killed.”

  I was confused. “But that’s just the way the world works.”

  Marie reached out her hand and touched mine. “I’ll have to have it amputated.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Her beautiful blond tail cut off? What? How could she even think of that for one second?

  “Everyone in a senior position does it t
hese days. When’s the last time you saw a press conference by any government official with a tail?”

  “But that’s different. They’re always lying to us, and they don’t want us to know.”

  “Well, yes. I won’t be lying to anyone, but the principle is the same. I can’t do the job if my tail is always giving my thoughts away.”

  I never did tell her I approved, and neither did my tail, but of course she did it anyway. I tried to support her as best I could. After all, I loved her more than anything.

  We had the stub of her tail cauterized. Now, when I want to see it, I just have to go to the living room; Marie’s tail is mounted above the fireplace.

  When she comes home now, I can’t tell how she feels. She climbs out of her Civic and smiles, but I don’t know if it’s real or an act for my benefit.

  She never mentions that my tail rarely swings for her when she comes through the front door.

  I can’t help it. She just doesn’t look human anymore.

  Dog Tired

  (of the Drama!)

  L. A. BANKS

  Generally when Lola came into the bar for a good rare steak and a beer, she tuned out of the human conversation going on around her. But even without supersensitive wolf hearing, the loud table of older women having a divorce party nearby was impossible to ignore.

  “Men are such dogs, girl!” a heavily made up woman exclaimed to a thunderous round of agreement from her friends, and then she tipped her Cosmo up to her mouth.

  “Chile, don’t even get me started,” another said, slapping the nearest of the five girlfriends sitting next to her.

  Lola kept her eyes on her plate. They didn’t know the half of it. Her best friend, Raina, nudged her with her knee under the table.

  “So riddle me this,” Raina said, leaning in. “If the human males are such dogs, then why have these women spent a mint on nylon hair, false eyelashes, push-up bras, and acrylic nails? Clearly this isn’t for each other, right?”

  “Because,” Lola said, releasing her breath in a rush, “they want to attract a mate, and all of that stuff is what I guess human males like . . . long hair, big boobs, flirty eyes, and manicured hands and feet or whatever.”

  “But—”

  “But they don’t want to attract a Neanderthal. They want a mate, but a guy who’s sensitive and caring and honest.”

  Raina frowned and simply stared at her for a moment, the concept not getting through her beautiful skull. “They don’t want the strongest in the pack? I don’t follow.” She glanced at the women. “They want sexy, virile alpha males, yes? But that doesn’t come with sensitive and loyal and all of that. That’s a beta. A frickin’ collie, Lola. Do you get both in one form amongst the humans? What would that be . . . an alpha-beta or a beta-alpha?”

  “I’m told they exist, but they’re rare.”

  “Like unicorns, I bet,” Raina murmured in awe and then sent her focus back to the table of partying females. “These stories are better than watching those human shows like Jerry Springer. But I still don’t understand why they would dress for an alpha when trying to land this elusive alpha-beta or whatever the humans call them?”

  “It’s complicated. Do you want your vegetables?” Lola asked, swiping Raina’s broccoli, already knowing the answer.

  Arguing the point was useless to a woman who’d never walked a mile in human shoes. Raina was always hot, and was born into a wolf pack. She’d been bred by old-fashioned natural selection . . . a hot alpha mom, a dad who was the leader of the pack, which meant she had zero-percent body fat, hair that flowed like the river Nile every full moon . . . great nails, long lashes, perfect skin, and a permanent tan, thanks to her Lakota roots. It was depressing. Lola, on the other hand, knew all too well what the women sitting a table away were talking about.

  “You seem far away tonight, Lola. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Lola said quietly. “It’s just that . . . I don’t fit in.”

  “Of course you do,” Raina said, too cheerfully. “How can you say that?”

  “Uh, hello . . . I got left for dead after a rogue beta noshed on my ex-boyfriend during a supposedly romantic let’s-see-if-we-can-work-it-out-again camping weekend. So, I got scratched by a criminal you guys were hunting down, which is the only reason I’m allowed in the pack at all. And if I thought dating before was hard . . . sheesh. I’d have to explain really bad mood swings during a full moon to a human guy. Doesn’t really play out that well, ya know.”

  “You make it sound like you’ve got an STD or something. You’re a beta werewolf female. Now get over it. That’s normal. Most are. It’s no crime. C’mon.”

  Lola looked Raina squarely in the eyes. “The only time the pack guys ask me out is when they think I’m in heat, if you haven’t noticed.”

  When Raina looked away, she knew she had.

  “Listen,” Lola said, sipping her beer. “I know you feel really bad about what happened—”

  “It was my fault that your friend got mauled and you got bitten, Lola,” her friend said quietly. “The pack knew Jeeter was a little left of center and had planned to send our alpha after him . . . but . . .”

  “I know, I know, you went into phase and all anybody could do was howl at the moon.”

  Lola polished off her beer, also knowing that were it not for guilt, one of the most popular girls in the pack probably would not be spending an ounce of time with her. She owed Raina a lot, too, since it was that friendship that kept the other less tolerant females from messing with her. But Raina was a big ole lovable softy inside, even though she had the capacity to rip your face off.

  “I know what,” Raina said, raising her apple martini and trying to switch the subject. “We should go for a run.”

  “Aw, man . . . I don’t know,” Lola protested. “That means we have to get naked and shape-shift and I’m not that comfortable doing that so close to a full moon.”

  “Your body is fine,” Raina said, clasping one of Lola’s hands. “Your coat is a gorgeous ticked brown.”

  “I look like a gangly German shepherd, let’s face it.”

  “Oh, my God, you do not!”

  “It’s not sleek and black like yours. My canines are short and my back haunches are fat, plus—”

  “Will you stop!”

  “No, you go ahead . . . I’m gonna check my email and—”

  “Email?” Raina nearly shouted and sputtered on her drink.

  “Shush, will you keep your voice down?”

  “That’s right,” one of the ladies from the party table said, leaning way over in her chair. “Tell your girl she’s gotta get out and get naked. Gotta drop all inhibitions when they dog you like that.”

  Both Lola and Raina gaped at the older women who’d clearly been sipping much longer than they had.

  “Yeah,” another one said, slightly slurring the word. “But she can also get her swerve on through the Internet. She needs to date out, too.”

  Raina cocked her head to the side for a moment. “Outside the species?”

  The women at the table erupted in laughter.

  “They are aliens, all men are, so yeah, go outside of your species, girl!”

  A rowdy round of high-fives and hoots brought a harried server over to the table for a fresh call for drinks. To Lola’s horror, two umbrella drinks got sent to them as a part of the party.

  “Thank you so much,” Lola said and pasted on a smile.

  “Thanks everybody,” Raina said, raising her glass.

  “Just a little something to get your confidence up,” one of the ladies called across the table. “Enjoy, and when you see some women younger than you going through the dog-tired blues, you send them a drink.”

  “That’s right, honey-chile,” another said, laughing. “Pay it forward—thank you, Jesus!”

  “Ummm . . . I don’t really drink,” Lola whispered to Raina. “A beer, maybe wine, but this looks really dangerous.”

  “Aw, live a little and say thank you agai
n once you drain the glass,” Raina fussed, and then lifted her glass toward the adjacent table. “Thanks a lot again. Next round is on me!”

  “You go, gurl,” a heavyset platinum blonde hollered, and then they all lifted their glasses toward Raina and Lola. “We up here in the Poconos for an all-girls’ weekend and you are so welcomed to join the festivities. Trust me; we’re going primal, hon—so tell your girl to drink up!”

  “We’d better finish these drinks and get out of here,” Lola said in a nervous whisper.

  “Okay, miss party pooper, but let’s just play it by ear.”

  “They have no idea that dating out for us is a whole different experience.” Lola shook her head as she watched Raina make short work of her drink.

  “Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to do a vampire?” Raina said in a conspiratorial tone.

  “No!” Lola said in a sharp whisper. What she didn’t say was that it was hard enough to wrap her brain around the possibility of doing a guy who had four legs.

  “Okay, that’s fair . . . the whole blood and biting thing could be a little freaky and I’d worry that I could accidentally forget and leave a shade up or something in the morning. Disaster. But you’ve gotta get out there and try.”

  “Why?”

  Raina finished her drink and ordered another round for both tables, then folded her arms. “When’s the last time you’ve been laid?”

  Lola’s mouth flew open and her face got hot. “I am so not answering that question!”

  “I’m being serious—like before your ex-boyfriend got, er, um, eaten . . .”

  “We were broken up and it had been a while. I was healing. On hiatus.”

  “Which was why when he called with that we-should-get-back-together-and-see-if-we-have-a-chance crap, you went.”

  “Yeah, I went.”

  “You know, crazy-ass Jeeter probably did you a great service, even though we had to formally put him down in the pack. Human flesh is such a taboo. Bad for the mind, body, and spirit, especially with what humans consume today. But from all you told me about him, he was an absolute jerk. And it all worked out—the park rangers said it was a bear attack, so everything was cool. Now all we need to do is get you a real boyfriend—a hot bod.”