The Love You Give

by Sheena Binkley

  “You needed to find yourself. Seriously, Kia? Are you saying I’m the reason your life is not where it should be? I know you have been through a lot after your mom passed, but you the one who held yourself back, not me.”

  “I’m not saying you’re the reason my life is not where it should be. I just felt trapped and I needed a change.”

  “So, this was your solution to pack up and go to another city? That’s really mature of you, Kia.”

  I didn’t even respond to Cory as I pushed past him and went outside. I needed some fresh air. Of course Cory followed me, which led him to still say how immature my choice was. But, what surprised me was when Cane came outside. I didn’t know how he knew we were outside, but I was kind of glad he was there. As for me saying Cane was my boyfriend, it was a bit of a stretch, but what really shocked me was the kiss he gave me. The way his lips felt on mine gave me a bit of an awakening in my body. Every part of me wanted more from that kiss, which was something that I hadn’t felt from Cory in a long time. A very long time.

  When Cory finally left, I knew I would see him again; I just hoped it wouldn’t be anytime soon. As I watched him leave, I already knew I was in for a talk with Cane. He was going to want to know what I just dragged him into.

  I turned to look at him; he just gave me a stern look. Instead of explaining, I eagerly said I had to go back to work and bolted. When I was going to the door, his voice made me stop walking and turn to stare at him.

  “I do expect an explanation once we’re closed.”

  I nodded before going back inside. I already knew the conversation was going to be awkward, but I did owe him an explanation to what happened. Throughout the rest of my shift, all I could think about was closing so I could talk to Cane. I didn’t know why I was a bit anxious to talk to him, but I knew the conversation had to happen.

  You’re anxious to talk to a man you barely know, but not the man who has been by your side for years? my conscience mentioned.

  I know it’s complicated but, with Cory, there were reasons to why I left him. I just wasn’t happy and I thought he would take the hint and just didn’t find me, but I should had known better. Cory was not like that. He would always be concerned about me. That’s something I had to realize.

  After the last call was made and the club shut down for the night, Karla and I were cleaning up when Cane walked in. He stopped to talk to Darryl and Morris, the security guards, before coming over to us. I slowly put down my towel, knowing it was time to talk.

  “Uh, Karla, is it okay if you can close everything down tonight? I need to talk to Kia.”

  She gave a concerned look at me before staring at Cane. “Yeah, sure.”

  “Thanks. Darryl and Morris will stay and lock up with you.”

  Karla nodded and said good night to the both of us. I went to get my purse from behind the counter as Cane waited for me. I didn’t know where we were going since it was two in the morning. Hopefully, it wasn’t back to his place.

  I waited for Cane to finish talking with Karla before we headed out the door. As soon as I walked outside, the cool air hit me, giving me a sense of calm. “First off, where are we going?”

  “I’m not taking you back to my place, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  “I really wasn’t, but it’s two in the morning.”

  “There are still places that are opened right now, like Hawthorne.”

  I nodded as we walked to his car, which was a Tesla Model S. It was pretty nice.

  “Hop in.”

  “I did drive.”

  “You can get your car later.”

  “I don’t know if I want to get in a car with you.”

  “I’m not in the mood for your attitude, Kia. Just get inside.”

  I sighed and got into the passenger seat. I waited for him to get inside and start up the ignition. “Why we just couldn’t talk at the club?”

  “Did you want Karla to hear why you were tonguing me down by the dumpster?”

  “Technically, you kissed me.”

  “If you say so.”

  “Cane-”

  “We will talk when we get to the diner. Right now, just enjoy the ride.”

  I glanced at Cane, seeing his muscles ripple through his gray dress shirt. I sighed, hoping I’d be able to talk to him without thinking about that kiss. For some reason, I still couldn’t get my mind off of it.

  I must have closed my eyes for bit because I noticed we were in the diner’s parking lot. I looked over to Cane, who gave a tiny smile. “You dozed off for a bit.”

  “I see. I’m sorry, though.”

  “Don’t be. I know it must have been a long day for you.”

  “It sort of was.”

  “Well, let’s make this talk quick then, so you can get some sleep.”

  We got out and went inside, seeing that the diner must be the hot spot after the club because it was packed. We were able to find a table near the back as we sat down.

  “Wow, this place is even more crowded than the mornings.”

  “Hawthorne is pretty much the place to go after the clubs are closed. But, let’s talk about what happened early. Inquiring minds want to know what you dragged me into and if I’ll be seeing your ex again. Well, if he really is your ex,” Cane said while giving me a crazed look.

  “Before I get to the story, I have to thank you for playing along. I didn’t think you would.”

  “I wasn’t going to at first. I was going to let you sink, but I don’t know if you were abused by him or if he was just a crazy stalker, so that’s why I saved you.”

  I sighed. “Cory isn’t like that. He’s far from that.”

  “Then, what is the issue?”

  I played with the menu that was on the table, not sure how to answer Cane’s question because honestly, it wasn’t anything wrong with Cory.

  “I met Cory during my sophomore year at college. We started off as friends, but then it became something more. We helped each other through so much. We became engaged right before our graduation, but our happiness was sort of cut short when my mom passed.”

  “Wow. I’m sorry about your mom.”

  I gave a tiny smile and continued with my story. “We were going to get married after graduation but, with my mom’s death, we decided to put it on hold. With Cory, he went on to get this amazing job as a financial analyst, while my career went nowhere. Instead, I took a dead-end job and was basically going through the motions in life.

  “I just wasn’t happy with myself or with the life I was living with Cory, so I decided to pack up and leave without telling anyone where I was going. So, that’s why Cory was at the club. Evidently, my former boss who was here recently told Cory where I was, and he came.”

  I stared at Cane, who didn’t look like he had a bit of remorse for me. I guess because the story I had about Cory was shitty as hell.

  “Let me ask you something, do you blame Cory for the way your life has become? Because from what you just told me, Cory is not the problem to why your life is not the way it should be.”

  I continued playing with the menu, becoming annoyed by Cane’s reasoning. He didn’t know me, so he shouldn’t just assume why I decided to leave. “I don’t blame Cory for anything, but he has contributed to how my life is going right now.”

  “I get that his job was taking him away from spending time with you, but has he tried to make things good with the relationship? Has he tried to keep the fire going or just thought everything was fine?”

  “Cory thought everything was good between us. He knew his job was taking him away from us, but he knew I understood. Even though I assured him that everything was cool, I just wasn’t happy with a lot of things, especially with our relationship.”

  “Was the sex bad between you two?”

  “Is that any of your business?”

  “Sex is a viable part of a relationship. Besides, that’s one of the reasons why people cheat.”

  “It wasn’t about the sex, Cane. Well, hell, it
was part of it.”

  “Told you.”

  “But, it wasn’t all about that. Once we graduated, I just felt trapped. I wasn’t happy and I felt I needed an escape with my life. I wanted to be able to not keep living my life as mundane. I wanted to have some sort of purpose. Have you ever felt like that, Cane? That you wanted to change your life and have some sort of purpose?”

  Cane leaned back in his seat while giving me a brooding stare. Just the way he was looking at me made my thighs twitch. He needs to stop doing that to my body.

  “I have a time or two. I’ve even been in some relationships that was going nowhere, which I got out of. That’s something you should have done. You pretty much strung this guy along.”

  “I have not, Cane. I did have feelings for Cory. I still do, but-”

  “You love him, but not in love with him. I get it. But, don’t you think you should have told him that? You should had talked to him and told him how you really felt about everything.”

  “I guess to a certain extent, I was too scared to.”

  “In my opinion, you were being a coward. If that’s how you felt, then you should have laid it on the line for him. Don’t feel like you have to upend your happiness to satisfy someone else’s. That’s the motto I kept throughout my life and I’m going to stick to it.”

  I shook my head and sighed. “Well, I could, but Cory is very stubborn. You seen how he was earlier.”

  “Yeah, but-”

  “You don’t know Cory; that’s why an idea came to me after what happened.”

  “What’s your idea?”

  I tilted my head, hoping Cane would agree to this. “I was hoping that you would continue to play along with you being my man. Just until Cory goes back to Houston.”

  “Who’s to say he hasn’t left already?”

  “He hasn’t. He meant it when he said he wasn’t leaving.”

  “Kia, I just did that to bail you out of an awkward situation. I could do it, but I don’t know if I want to.”

  “And why not? You seem like the type to lie to get what you want.”

  “First off, I don’t lie to do anything. I’m always truthful. And two, what will I get out of your little plan? If it’s a chance with you, then I’m all for it.”

  My thighs twitched again after Cane said that. I took a deep breath and straightened myself in my seat. “I thought you don’t mix business with pleasure?”

  “I did say that, but I also said I would still talk with you, when the opportunity presents itself.”

  “So, you’re saying I probably won’t be at the club for long?”

  “From what I’ve seen in the short time you’ve been there, you have been doing way more than what I have seen from other bartenders. You’re good at what you do, Kia.”

  I smiled, forgetting what we were talking about. “Why would you want a chance with me when I’m in a supposedly complicated relationship?”

  “You said you weren’t happy, so maybe I could change that for you.”

  “You sure you want to?”

  “You don’t think I can handle you?”

  Cane leaned over to stare into my eyes. His fingers lightly brushed against my shoulder, which sent tingles through my entire body. “Because I definitely can. The question is, can you with me?”

  I leaned closer to him, smelling that scent I knew all too well from him. I grazed his earlobe with my bottom lip, causing my body to become even more turned on. “Don’t let the innocent face fool you,” I whispered.

  I watched his expression, which had me smiling.

  “I know you’re not innocent. I knew that the first moment I’d laid eyes on you.”

  I cleared my throat, trying to get back on track. It was getting too hot for me and I needed to stay focus. “So, will you help me or not?”

  Cane sighed. “What if he comes by the club? You know we can’t really be ‘romantically involved’,” he said while using air quotes.

  “I know that, but we can figure something out. I just need for us to make appearances to Cory, so he can go back to Houston. Even if I try and talk to him about us ending, he’s going to keep trying. I just want Cory to be happy and find someone who will make him happy. I feel as if I can’t do that for him.”

  “So, you’re giving him a broken heart for a Christmas present?”

  “I’ll be giving him one if I tell him the truth or not. If he sees me with someone else, maybe he can move on with his life.”

  “Maybe so. Even though I don’t agree with your plan, I’ll help you, but you have to do something for me as well.”

  I sighed, wondering what idea he was going to give me. Whatever it was, hopefully it didn’t require me in certain positions.

  Or did I?

  “What is it?”

  Cane smiled. “You’ll know in time. Just be ready when I tell you.”

  I stared at Cane, wondering what the hell he was up to when he picked up his menu.

  “Are you hungry? Because I’m starving.”

  I gave Cane a confused look as I wrapped my head to what just happened. Now, I just agreed to something and I didn’t even know what it was. I just hoped that I was not making a huge mistake.

  10.

  Cane

  After agreeing with Kia’s plan to get rid of her fiancé, we ate a stack of buttermilk pancakes before taking her back to the club to get her car. We actually had a decent conversation about everything from our work ethics to our future goals.

  Since it was late, I followed her to her hotel, which she hated, but I insisted. The gesture did make her a bit pleased that I wanted to see her safe.

  As we approached her room, I seemed kind of hesitate to leave her there. I didn’t know why when I had just known her for a few days.

  “Thanks for following me back to my room.”

  “No problem. I wanted to see that you were safe since it’s four in the morning now.”

  Kia smiled. “Good thing my shift doesn’t start until later in the afternoon.”

  “Maybe I need you to come in for a morning shift.”

  Kia smirked. “If you ever did that, you won’t be seeing me.”

  I smiled. “Listen, I really did enjoy being at the diner. It was different.”

  “I’m sure you’re used to taking women to fancy restaurants or back to your place.”

  “You really got me all wrong. I’m not into the fancy shit as you claim; instead, I’m into the simple things. I love just going to the diner, eating breakfast for dinner and just living life. I may have my share of women, but I tell women beforehand what’s up; that I’m not looking for anything serious. They know the deal and agree to it. Now you, on the other hand, you tend to let things get too deep before you decide to admit that you’re not ready for it.”

  “Oh, so you’re throwing cheap shots at me?”

  “I’m not throwing cheap shots, I’m just saying that you have your priorities all wrong. As for me, I have mine all straight, so that’s the difference between me and you.”

  “Thank you for the enlightening advice.”

  “Anytime.”

  “But, I really should go inside. Thank you again, Cane. For everything.”

  “Sure, no problem. But, has Cory tried to contact you after the club?”

  Kia seemed confused when I asked about Cory. “Why would you ask that? You were just with me and my phone hasn’t rang since.”

  “Does he know where you stay?”

  Kia shook her head. “I didn’t tell him. What is going on with you?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’m good. I just needed to know, that’s all.”

  “Are you concerned about me? Trust me, Cory won’t do anything crazy.”

  “Then, why do you need me to be your fake boyfriend?”

  “I told you why.”

  “Well, if he’s this stand-up guy like you say he is, then I’m sure he’ll just move on with his life once he knows the truth.”

  Kia shook her head. “Like I told you at Hawtho
rne, I have to do this so Cory won’t waste his time with me. We should be married by now and have kids, but I don’t want any of that. I’m not ready for it; that’s why I delayed getting married for so long.”

  “Maybe you just haven’t found the right person to share all of that with.”

  Kia looked down at the beige and green carpet, not knowing what to say. I picked up her chin, so she could look into my eyes. We continued to stare when Kia pulled away from me.

  “I really should go. I’ll see you later at the club.”

  “Maybe we don’t have to say bye.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on, let me show you something.”

  “Now? It’s-”

  “Are you tired right now?”

  Kia shook her head. “Not at all.”

  “Come on, then.”

  Kia seemed hesitant to go with me but sighed. “Fine, but can I at least change out of this dress, please?”

  “Sure.”

  “Cool. You don’t mind waiting out here, do you?”

  “Of course not, but if you want to invite me in-”

  “Not today, Cane.”

  I nodded, and she opened her door. She quickly closed it, and I put my back against the wall. I didn’t know why I still wanted to spend time with her. Hell, I never tried to with any other woman, but Kia really did seem intriguing and with this situation with her soon-to-be-ex fiancé happening, I really needed to keep her close, just in case anything else did happen.

  Ten minutes later and I was still waiting. What was she doing? I was about to knock on the door when she came out dressed in a black pullover with matching sweatpants. Even dressed down, she still looked sexy.

  “You didn’t say where we were going, so I dressed comfortable.”

  “What you’re wearing is perfect. Come on, so we can make sunrise.”

  Kia gave a curious look as we headed to the elevator. There’s something that I always did to start my day. I didn’t know why I was showing her this, but maybe she needed it as much as I did.

  After a 20-minute drive, we arrived to my destination. I looked over at Kia, who looked kind of surprised but also amazed. That, I wasn’t expecting.