The Love You Give

by Sheena Binkley

  When we finally approached my townhouse, Kia was fast asleep. I pulled into the garage, turned off the ignition and gently touched her shoulder. Her eyes slowly opened and smiled.

  “Sorry, I guess I was tired.”

  “That’s to be expected. But, we’re here.”

  She grabbed her purse and we got out of the car. She waited for me to open the door and we stepped inside.

  Kia looked around, truly amazed. “Wow. Your place is nice.”

  “Thanks. I try.”

  “Well, it’s beautiful.”

  “Since this was last minute and you didn’t bring anything, I do have some things for you to use in the guest bathroom.”

  Kia shook her head. “Not to worry. I asked Brooke to bring some stuff for me. Hence, the big bag,” she said while holding up her bag.

  “Aw, so you did think ahead.”

  “Well, I didn’t think enough because I didn’t think it was going to be a sleepover.”

  “I got you.” I went to my bedroom and grabbed a shirt. I came back and she gave me a crazed look.

  “It’s either this or be naked. I prefer the latter.”

  “You wish,” Kia said and grabbed the shirt. “Luckily, I’m wearing boy shorts under my dress.”

  So much for the no panties fantasy, I thought while staring at her.

  “But if you do want to change, the bathroom is the first door on your left.”

  Kia smiled and went to the bathroom. I went into the guest room, got what I needed and waited for her to appear. She walked out wearing my shirt, which looked good on her. Very good. Her hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail while her face was stripped from makeup. It was nice that she felt comfortable to take her makeup off around me.

  “You really got comfortable.”

  “You said this is an old fashioned sleepover. Can’t be that if I’m still wearing makeup.”

  “You look beautiful.”

  Kia blushed before coming over to the coffee table. She stared at me and I laughed.

  “Are you serious?” she asked.

  “So what. I like Jenga.”

  “This is my favorite game, besides Monopoly.”

  “Oh, so we do have something in common.”

  “I guess we do.”

  “But, you never played my version of it.”

  Kia gave me a sideways glance and I stared at her body. “That’s if you’re up for it.”

  “I thought we weren’t going to expose body parts?”

  “You don’t have to if you win.”

  “I’ll make sure I do, then.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Kia gave a snide grin and placed the game back on the table.

  “Are you hungry? I can make us something.”

  “Nope, I think I want to play.”

  “Let’s do this, then.”

  Kia held up her hand, which had me confused. “I’m not the only one going to be in sleepwear. You have to also.”

  “I was getting to that.”

  Kia gave me a look urging me to go change. I went to my room, grabbed a pair of sleep shorts and a white T-shirt, changed, then went back to the living room. Kia already had the game set-up on the coffee table while giving me her best game face. I had to laugh at how serious she looked.

  “Oh, I’m ready. Just so you know, I’m a beast at Jenga.”

  “Well, that’s because you haven’t met your match yet.”

  “You’ll be the one without any clothes later on.”

  The two of us went to the table to start playing. I let Kia go first as she took the first piece from the row before the bottom.

  “Amateur move.”

  “Please, that’s the best way to move.”

  I smirked as I grabbed my piece from the top. As we continued on, we were neck-in-neck for 30 minutes until I ended up taking a piece from the bottom, causing it to fall. Kia bust out laughing, making me a bit embarrassed.

  “And you said I met my match. Sorry, but you weren’t any competition.”

  “I let you win.”

  “Right. Now, you have to live up to your end of the bargain.”

  “Of course. I have no shame,” I said.

  I pulled off one of my socks, which had Kia shaking her head. “That’s the most obvious piece of clothing to take off. You need to take off something else.”

  “I didn’t say what I was taking off.” I nodded. “Fine.”

  I slowly pulled off my shirt, revealing my chest, which had Kia staring in amazement. She bit her lip, which had me smiling.

  “I guess you like what you see.”

  “Uh, I- I…”

  “It’s cool, Kia. Like I said, I don’t have any shame. Just know the next game, I’m not going to be the one taking anything off.”

  Kia smirked as I put the pieces back together. But after our second and third game, I ended up taking off another sock and my shorts, revealing my boxer briefs. I figured after the third game, I’d surrender.

  “Oh, you’re done getting your butt whooped?”

  “You just got lucky.”

  “I told you I’m a beast.”

  I laughed. “Maybe so. It was fun, though.”

  Kia smiled. “It definitely was. I haven’t had that much fun in awhile.”

  “Now, if we ever have another sleepover, strip Twister will be the next game.”

  “Oh, now that is another game I will beat you on.”

  “I’ll hold you to it. But, you’re hungry now because I’m definitely am?”

  Kia nodded. “Since you had to go down into your undies, the most I can do is cook for you.”

  I shook my head. “You’re my guest, so I’ll cook for you.”

  Kia didn’t say anything as I went into the kitchen. She followed, coming beside me.

  “I’ll help. I like to keep my hands occupied.”

  “Okay, no problem.”

  She gave a shy smile, as I went over to the couch to put back on my clothes. I didn’t mind being semi-naked, but I didn’t want to make Kia uncomfortable. I went back to the kitchen and headed to the sink to wash up. I looked over at Kia, who gave a small chuckle.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You didn’t have to put your clothes back on. I wasn’t uncomfortable.”

  “We did agree to have a clean, old fashioned sleepover, so let’s keep it as that.”

  “Cool.”

  I opened the refrigerator to grab a carton of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Kia smiled. “You really weren’t lying about eating breakfast on the regular.”

  “It is the morning, so it’s the perfect time.”

  I let Kia chop up some vegetables as I prepped for a spinach omelet for Kia and meat omelet for me. We didn’t really talk as we cooked, but we didn’t have to speak. I actually liked her being around me. I was enjoying her company.

  We worked our way around the kitchen until the food was done. I told Kia to take a seat while I put everything together. I handed her a plate and she smiled.

  “It looks good.”

  “It’ll taste even better.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that.”

  I waited for her to take a bite of her omelet. She closed her eyes, nodding her head and smiled. “I can’t deny, it’s good.”

  “Told you.”

  “What can’t you do? Besides beat me at Jenga.”

  “Ha ha, you got jokes,” I said.

  “I’m just speaking the truth.”

  We sat in silence to eat when Kia put her fork down onto her plate. She stared at me, as I was about to put a forkful of bacon in my mouth.

  “Since we’re here and I told you a bit about my relationship with Cory, what is the deal with you and that girl? I think you called her Lillian. I tried to ask Karla, but I couldn’t get anything out of her.”

  I put the fork into my mouth and slowly chewed my food. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk about someone that I didn’t have any feelings for. “It’s not really important.”

  �
�It must have been if she was acting all belligerent at the club.”

  I sighed. “Lillian is someone that I had a fling with. That’s all.”

  “Maybe to you it was one, but she wanted something more.”

  “I guess I have that effect on women.”

  Kia gave me the side eye, and I shrugged. “It’s true.”

  “I guess.”

  “I’m sure I have some sort of effect on you and I haven’t even been inside of you. Yet.”

  “Oh, so you really think you have a chance?”

  “I’m sure of it, when the time is right. And trust me, when it happens, you won’t be thinking about anyone else.”

  Kia sat up in her seat and cleared her throat. I guess she wasn’t expecting that.

  “We’re way off track now. What about Lillian?”

  “What about Lillian?”

  “What are you going to do about her because she’s not going anywhere?”

  “Lillian is not a problem anymore.”

  “I guess you’re used to women acting a fool around you. Don’t you think you should grow up and actually stop leading women on?”

  I put down my fork and sighed. “You’re actually giving me advice when you can’t even tell your fiancé that you’re not into him.”

  “Like I said, it’s complicated.”

  “It’s not complicated, Kia. That’s life if you don’t have feelings for someone. He would respect you more if you tell him the truth.”

  “What about with you? Don’t you feel bad about how you treat women?”

  I laughed. “So, you’re turning the tables on me? This conversation is not about me.”

  “It was at first.”

  “Only because you brought up about Lillian. Like I mentioned before, the women that I’m involved with know the deal with me; Lillian was the only one who didn’t get the message. But, I treat women very well. I don’t disrespect nor lead anyone on.”

  “Do you wish there could have been something with any of the women you have dated?”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  “Maybe because you haven’t found the right woman yet.”

  “Maybe so but, right now, I’m not looking.”

  “What if the right woman is in front of you right now?”

  I glanced at Kia and she smiled. “I would say maybe, but she’s still with someone that she can’t seemed to break up with. I can’t be with someone if she’s still involved with someone.”

  Kia seemed shocked that I said that. “Seriously? I thought-”

  “I don’t get involved with someone that’s in a relationship. I may want to, but I don’t want nor need the drama.”

  Kia slowly nodded. “That’s good to know. So, why did you help me?”

  “Because like I said before, you look like you were struggling and needed the help.”

  “Well, thanks again for it.”

  “No problem.”

  “But seriously, why are you afraid of love? You admitted to being in all of these flings, but you never mentioned you were in a serious relationship. Has someone hurt you so bad that you forgone relationships altogether?”

  I played with my water glass, wondering why it took her so long to ask. “You finally asked that question, huh?”

  “We haven’t really had a moment like this to discuss anything.”

  “I can’t say that I don’t like relationships. I just don’t feel like I’ll be any good at them.”

  “How will you know if you don’t try?”

  “Because I try not to. Maybe I will eventually, but I’m not ready to be with anyone.”

  Kia took a sip of water and decided to let that thought process.

  “What made you fall out of love with Cory? Or were you ever in love with him?”

  “I was in love with him. I still am, but we have moved further apart from each other. I don’t feel like we’re connecting like we should. That’s why I felt it’s best for us to be apart.”

  “By lying to him.”

  “I know that’s not the way to go.”

  “It’s not, but you have to live with that. But, I do have to point out something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “How do you know if Cory is not living another life?”

  “You mean if he’s actually the one cheating?”

  I shrugged. “I know when someone is hiding something. You can’t lie out of a paper bag with this plan you have going, but I have noticed something about Cory. He seemed kind of off the few times I have interacted with him. And you did say he’s spending a lot of time at work, right?”

  “Yeah, so.”

  “I’m just saying, you need to look into that. Maybe he’s the one that needs to be talked to, not you.”

  “I doubt it if Cory is cheating on me. I know he’s been kind of neglecting me, but it’s mainly because of work.”

  “Work doesn’t consume your entire day. Just saying.”

  “I guess I shouldn’t have brought up about your love life.”

  “Nope, you shouldn’t have. But with you, if he is cheating, then that’s your way out.”

  “He’s not.”

  “Why would you be upset if he was? It’s not like you want to be in a relationship with him. You said you wanted excitement…”

  “That doesn’t mean I would want him cheating on me.”

  “So, you’re upset at the fact that there’s a possibility that he is, but you wanted to hurt him by saying you were. That doesn’t make sense.”

  “There’s a lot of things that doesn’t make sense in my relationship with Cory. So, let’s just keep it at that and end this conversation.”

  We sat in silence, not caring about the food in front of us. If she was going to bring up about my relationships, then I’d bring up about hers. If she didn’t like what I’d said, then that’s not my problem.

  15.

  Kia

  After that awkward early breakfast with Cane, I wanted to leave. We were having a good time and he had to ruin it by talking about some nonsense. Well, it wasn’t nonsense, he was speaking the truth. And the crazy thing was, he didn’t know that he was.

  I hadn’t completely told Cane everything about Cory and I. Although Cory seemed like the perfect boyfriend, there had been a few occasions when our relationship wasn’t less than stellar. We got through it, but instead of making us stronger, it made us even more distant than before; that’s why we’d been having problems recently. Although I had tried, Cory really hadn’t, mainly because of him working. I guess to a certain extent, I just wanted to be able to have the last word and end things before it escalated even further. Call me petty or childish, but it is what it is.

  I had thought about if Cory was cheating on me. It would make sense with the distant behavior and the long hours at work, but I couldn’t see Cory cheating. He never had, so it would be hard to believe that he would be now, especially if he came to Tyler looking for me.

  While Cane went to sleep in his room, he told me to take the guest room, which I laid awake the entire night. I couldn’t sleep because the thoughts that I had abut Cory before were retriggered into my mind by Cane. I guess I went about my plan because I knew in my gut that something was wrong and I wanted to end it before he did. So, that was the real reason behind packing up and leaving, because I just wanted to save the trouble.

  I continued to stare at the ceiling for two hours until I finally fell asleep. Some sleepover this was, especially if we were sleeping in different rooms, but it was for the best since I was sort of mad at Cane; but I shouldn’t been since he was telling the truth.

  I suddenly woke up to the sun shining in my face. I closed my eyes, hoping it would disappear. It was too early in the morning to be blinding me with all that sunshine. I slowly got out of bed and opened the door to see Cane in the kitchen. He looked up and gave a small smile before putting water into the coffeemaker.

  “Good morning.”

  “Morning,” I mumbled. I went over to the coun
ter and sat down on the barstool.

  “I want to apologize for earlier. I was out of line,” Cane said.

  I gave him a shocked look and he shrugged. “I know, I can surprise people sometimes with my behavior.”

  “I should be the one apologizing because you were right. You brought things home with what you said.”

  Cane sighed. “So, you really do think that?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it would explain a lot. At first, I didn’t want to believe it, but I’m really suspicious.”

  “That’s why you left, because you wanted to beat him to the punch.”

  I nodded again. “Yep, but not only that. I really did feel like I was living a mundane life. I really did feel like I needed a change. Just in the two weeks that I have been here, I’ve had more fun than the last few years I’ve with Cory. It’s crazy to think that.”

  “That’s just living life, Kia. That’s all.”

  “I feel like our sleepover was ruined.”

  “How so? Just because we had an awkward conversation. We barely know each other, so that’s going to happen.”

  “I guess you’re right. But, I better get ready to go. I want to see Brooke before she goes back to Houston.”

  “Cool. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll take you back.”

  I smiled as Cane turned off the coffeemaker. I went to the guest room to clean myself up. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, trying to figure out what was my next move. I sighed, realizing I didn’t know what that would be.

  I went back into the living room to see Cane ready. We didn’t say much as we got into his car, as I stared ahead. All I needed was some time to clear my head and to figure out how to change my life.

  The ride back to the hotel was sort of awkward as I continued staring at the scenery around us. Cane was concentrating on the road while I put my head on the side door, taking a deep breath and thinking about the past few weeks.

  As I got to my room, Cane kept the engine going as I continued to stare ahead.

  “Are you okay?”

  I looked over at Cane and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. But, why don’t you go home and get some rest because I’m sure you didn’t earlier?”

  “I’m fine, Kia. Besides, I have all day to since the club is closed today. But, take your own advice and enjoy your day off.”