The Love You Give

by Sheena Binkley

  19.

  Cane

  When Kia said she wanted to take things slow, I think we had different thoughts because it definitely wasn’t. I wasn’t expecting to do that, but having her in my arms and her thighs tempting me, I couldn’t resist. Besides, it’s not like she was complaining.

  While Kia was asleep, I figured I had too much energy, so I finished the research for the project and put the presentation together. I was putting the slides in order when the doorbell rang, interrupting my concentration.

  I looked at my mantle clock, wondering who could be at my place at 10 p.m. I got up and headed to the door, looking through the peephole before answering. I sighed, wondering if I should, but I slowly opened the door.

  “I’m glad to see that you’re here,” Aaron said while walking inside.

  “Sure, Aaron, come right on in,” I sarcastically said before closing the door.

  “You probably don’t want to see me right now.”

  “No, not really, but you’re here, so what’s up?”

  “I know Marcia put you on the spot about Christmas.”

  “She did, but it is what it is.”

  “I just wanted to say…” Aaron started before stopping in the living room. He stared at Kia lying on the couch before looking at me.

  “I see you didn’t waste any time.”

  “It’s not what you think.”

  “She’s lying on your couch. It’s exactly what I think.”

  “She’s a friend, Aaron.”

  “That’s half naked on your couch. Don’t tell me you met her at the club?”

  “I actually met her at Hawthorne’s, but Karla hired her at the club. Don’t tell her Kia is here because you have a big mouth.”

  Aaron sighed. “Whatever. I just wanted to say that I was going to tell you about it, but Marcia was pissed at what you did to Lillian.”

  “You still could have said something.”

  “Not while everyone was there.”

  “It doesn’t matter, because I’m not doing it,” I said while walking to the kitchen.

  “Cane, can you please just try to do this so we can have a decent Christmas? I already promise Mom-”

  “Promised Melissa what? You have to get her approval on things but you couldn’t be man enough to tell me what your plans were? I don’t have time for this, Aaron.”

  “Just understand where I’m coming from. I’m stuck between you and Mom.”

  “You should have chosen whose side you were on a long time ago. I’m not trying to be fake around anyone, including your wife and our so-call mom.”

  “Don’t be like this, Cane. It’s the holidays.”

  “Well, I guess I’m the modern day Scrooge then.”

  Aaron threw up his hands and sighed. “I guess we’ll just have Christmas at my house. But, will you at least come? If not for Mom, at least for Dad. He’s putting his feelings to the side for the kids.”

  “How noble of Dad, but I’ll let you know. It’s just a lot to process.”

  Aaron stared at Kia again and shook his head. “Just make sure to treat her with some respect because you haven’t been with the last women you were with.”

  “Don’t worry about who I’m with. Just be concerned about your wife and her messed up attitude.”

  “On that note, I’m leaving.”

  I opened the door to escort Aaron out. He shook his head again and I closed it. I would have slammed it, but I didn’t want to wake Kia up.

  I looked over to her and she was stirring in her sleep. I sighed, wondering where was this going between us. Even though it was too soon to tell, I was already feeling a connection with her. It sounded crazy, but I really wanted to get to know her better. I just hoped our personal ways didn’t prevent that from happening.

  20.

  Kia

  Things between Cane and I were a bit weird at his house. It wasn’t a bad weird, but it just suddenly happened. How he made my body feel and the intense way he was staring made me wanted to do more, but I didn’t randomly sleep with anyone. That’s not my style. I may have imagine doing one-night stands, but I never went through it.

  But what really surprised me was the conversation Cane had with his brother. He didn’t know that I was awake since my back was turned from the two, but it made me a bit sad to hear how Cane was acting towards his mother. He mentioned they had bad blood, but it went way beyond that. There’s still some issues Cane hadn’t resolved with her. Now, I was starting to understand why Cane acted the way he did, especially with women. It’s not an excuse though.

  Once morning arrived, I was sober enough to drive back to my room. Before leaving, Cane gave me a kiss, which left my body all tingly. That’s something I hadn’t felt in a minute. Now, my curiosity was running wild with being intimate with Cane, but I had to stand my ground. I couldn’t just have sex with someone if I barely know the guy.

  I couldn’t go back inside of my room, so I called Karla to see if she was there. Luckily, she was doing paperwork, so I headed there. I walked in to see her at one of the tables looking through some reports.

  “Hey. I was surprised when you called asking to come to work,” she said. She got up to give me a hug.

  “I didn’t want to be in my room.”

  “Bored, huh?”

  “Just a tad.”

  Karla gave a concerned look. “Are you okay? You look like something is on your mind.”

  I sat down at the stool across from Karla and sighed. “It is, but I don’t want to bore you.”

  “Let me be the judge of that.”

  After telling her the reason why I was there, Cory and Brooke, and the ridiculous plan I had with Cane, Karla took off her reading glasses and sighed.

  “I told Cane not to talk to you.”

  “It’s fine, Karla. He’s been nothing but nice to me.”

  “To get what he wants. I know how Cane’s mind operates.”

  “Have you and Cane-”

  Karla gave a disgusted look. “Hell no. That would be incest since I consider Cane like an older brother. But, he’s not my type. I don’t like men who feel they should have to dominate women. I have seen that too many times with him and the girls he does bring around here. It’s embarrassing.”

  “But, do you think it’s a reason why he’s like that?”

  Karla nodded. “It is but, until Cane comes to terms with that, he’s always going to act a certain way. I tried to help him, but he doesn’t want the help.”

  “I sort of eavesdropped on him and his brother talking. He really needs to let go of the issues he has with his mother.”

  “Like I said, I know. But, please don’t go trying to save him to help distract you from the issues you have with your ex-fiancé and friend. Despite how you feel about the two, you still have to resolve those issues as well.”

  I gave Karla a displeased look. I refused to talk to either of them.

  “Now, you’re acting like Cane. Maybe you two do have a lot in common.”

  “My situation is different from Cane’s.”

  “It’s about the same. You both can’t trust the people that betrayed you. You both have to find it in your hearts to forgive them. Simple as that.”

  I glanced at Karla, wondering why she was so damn cold, but I guess if it’s not her issue, she’s not concerned.

  As if reading my mind, Karla continued. “It’s not like I’m not concerned about the two of you, I figured life is too short to be harping on shit that you just can’t understand. That’s why there’s always a second, third, and even fourth chance to get things right. Believe me, I’ve been through your situation with an ex, so it’s hard, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish the next person in your life for pain they had nothing to do with causing. That’s something that I had to learn, so I hope you eventually can too.”

  “Maybe eventually, but I’m not ready to now.”

  “You’ll know when the time is right, Kia. But, I have to ask this.”

  “What?”


  “I get why you’re mad at Brooke, but why Cory? Evidently, you weren’t happy, so you left. He did lie, so I see why you’re mad at that, but you had the same thoughts that he did.”

  “I did it because of my suspicions.”

  “But you weren’t happy, like he was. That’s why I suggest that you talk with him to resolve your issues. That’s the only way you can move on with your life.”

  I looked down at the table to see a few plans for the Christmas event. I stared at one paper in particular, which had Karla curious.

  “These are your ideas?”

  Karla nodded. “There’re rough drafts, but I’m thinking of new ideas. You have any in mind?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe, but I don’t know if you’ll go for it.”

  “Try me.”

  I smiled as I grabbed a blank sheet of paper. “The clinic I used to work for always did this after-hours event for their employees. It was kind of a winter wonderland theme with fake snow, sledding, that type of stuff. It was so much fun. It made you feel like a kid again.”

  Karla smiled. “That would be fun with good music; maybe throw in a naughty fixture or two for Cane’s sake. But, not too bad.”

  “Of course.”

  “So, you will be in town for the event?”

  I nodded. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “It is the holidays. I thought you might want to go back to see your family. Despite getting a job and talking to me and Cane, I’m sure it gets lonely here.”

  I sighed. “It does, but I’m not going home.”

  Karla nodded, realizing there was no point in talking about it anymore. Instead, she started to ask about the event. I was glad she changed the subject because I didn’t want to talk about the holidays. I just wanted to move on from my past life and hopefully be able to create new moments to replace the old ones.

  ***

  Two hours later, Karla and I figured out the perfect event for the club. It was a mix between good old-fashioned fun, but with an adult twist. If Cane didn’t like this idea, then he really was a damn Scrooge.

  I was walking into Hawthorne’s to get my usual burger and fries when I saw Cane at the counter. I sighed. Although I just saw him earlier, I didn’t know if I wanted to talk to him now. We really didn’t say much to each other after I’d left his place, probably because he felt just as awkward as I did.

  “Hey, sweetie. Coming for your usual?” Stella asked.

  Since my first time in the diner, I hadn’t been going anywhere since. Stella and I had actually become civil towards each other, which was pretty nice because beneath her hard exterior, she’s actually really nice.

  “You know it. How are you, Stella?”

  “I’m doing good, sweetie. Now, I’ll let you talk with Golden Boy over here,” she said and winked before going into the kitchen.

  “Golden Boy?” I asked while staring at Cane.

  “The hair,” Cane said and smiled.

  “I should have known you were coming here.”

  “You should by now.”

  “We need to talk about yesterday.”

  Cane looked ahead. “I know we do.”

  “I thought we were going to take things slow?”

  Cane stared at me, making my body grow hot by the intensity in his eyes. He was giving me that smile that I was starting to love. I sat up straight, putting my thighs together to take away the hunger I was beginning to feel for him.

  “Do you really want to, Kia?”

  I was about to answer when Cane and I both heard a loud thump. We looked ahead, seeing Stella falling onto the floor.

  “Oh my God! Stella!” I exclaimed. I ran over to her, seeing her on the ground. Good thing the cushion behind the counter broke her fall. I asked Cane to come behind the counter, so he could prop her up. I checked her pulse, seeing she wasn’t breathing. I yelled to Pete in the kitchen to call 911 as I started to do compressions on her.

  “Come on, Stella. Come on and wake up, honey,” I whispered.

  I continued doing compressions, praying that she woke up. I didn’t want her dying at the diner.

  “Stella, please, wake up,” I pleaded.

  After a few minutes of me breathing air into her, she slowly woke up. I closed my eyes, thanking God that she came to.

  “Is an ambulance coming, Pete?!” I yelled into the kitchen.

  Once he replied in a few minutes, I let Cane continued to prop Stella up as she looked at me.

  “Don’t speak, okay. An ambulance is coming.”

  She nodded as tears were coming from her eyes. I stared at Cane, who looked just as freaked out as I was. That was the first time I’d seen Cane look scared, making me feel different with him. I quickly looked away, glad that Stella was okay, but now even more confused to how I was beginning to feel about Cane. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about him, but I was starting to more and more. That’s something that I couldn’t avoid.

  21.

  Cane

  Seeing Stella on the floor fighting for her life was scary as shit. I considered Stella family, so I didn’t want her dying. I didn’t know what I would do if anything did happen to her.

  When the ambulance arrived, I rode with her to the hospital and Kia followed in my car. I called my office, letting them know I had a family emergency and wasn’t returning. I needed to know if Stella was going to be okay.

  Now the two of us were in the hospital waiting room waiting on news about Stella. The restaurant called her husband, so hopefully he’s coming soon. I looked over at Kia, who still looked in shock. I gently grabbed her hand as she looked over and smiled.

  “Wasn’t expecting that, were you?”

  Kia shook her head. “Hell no. I just hope she’s okay. She took a pretty nasty fall.”

  “But, you saved her, Kia.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek and she sighed. “I’m just glad I was there.”

  “Have you thought about going back to nursing school. Hell, maybe even medical school. You could become a doctor-”

  “That was another part of my life, Cane. I’m not going back to it.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m just not. It’s just at the time I had such high hopes but, now, I just want to move forward with my life.”

  “What was it that made you want to leave the medical field?”

  Kia sighed. “Do we need to talk about this now?”

  “I just want to know. From what Brooke said and what I saw today, you know your shit.”

  “It’s just something that I’m dealing with, that’s all.”

  “I’m not the one to give advice but, if it’s something that you love, you should continue doing it. If you’re second guessing yourself-”

  “I’m not second guessing myself. I just don’t want to relive that life again.”

  “Is it because of your mother?”

  Kia gave me a look reading “don’t go there”.

  “Are you blaming yourself for your mother’s death?”

  Kia looked down to the ground. I think I understood now.

  “Kia, just because you were in nursing school when your mom passed doesn’t mean you should stop pursuing your dream. It’s not the reason why she died.”

  “If I wasn’t so wrapped up in school, I would have had a better chance of taking care of my mom. I would have been able to take her to doctor appointments, been there for her. Instead, I was too far away from her to be there when she was sick, to take her to the hospital when she fell. I would have been there to say goodbye to her.”

  I squeezed her hand, letting her know it was okay. She continued to look down at the ground, not wanting me to see her cry.

  “Baby, don’t blame yourself for what happened. I’m sure you did what you could and she was proud of you for it.”

  “It doesn’t change anything. If I would had just been more involved…”

  “Is that why you don’t want to talk to your dad?”

  Kia looked shocked that I even knew about her dad. W
hen I talked to Brooke, she did mention that the two didn’t have a great relationship, mainly because of what happened with her mother.

  “The relationship I have with my dad has nothing to do with my mother’s death. We had issues way before then.”

  “Like I said, I’m not the one to give you advice, but if you want to listen, I’ll be here for you.”

  Kia mumbled thank you when Jake, Stella’s husband, came in. We exchanged pleasantries when the doctor come out. She explained that Stella had a mild heart attack but was expected to be okay. As she sent Jake to Stella’s room, I mentioned to him we’d be back in an hour to see her. We went to the car, so we could be alone.

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  Kia nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t believe you figured that out about me.”

  I shrugged. “It’s not too hard to figure out. We’re both going through the same issues, so I can spot it a mile away.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about it right now but, when I do, I promise you I will to you, but on one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you talk to me about your mom.”

  I rolled my eyes, but Kia shook her head. “It’s only fair, Cane.”

  “Fine, we’ll talk.”

  Kia make her hand into a fist and stared at me.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Fist bump to confirm our agreement.”

  “Whatever,” I said and followed. We fist bumped, confirming our deal.

  “Let’s go get something to eat. Now that I know Stella’s okay, I’m starving,” I said.

  Kia smiled, and I started up the ignition. Maybe there’s some common ground between us after all.

  I decided to take Kia to a deli close by the hospital so we wouldn’t be too far but when Jake called letting me know that Stella was asleep, I figured I’d take Kia back to my place. Within minutes of arrival, Kia let me in onto the plan that she and Karla discussed for the Christmas event. Although it was a cool plan, I figured Kia wanted to talk about something else instead of her family problems.

  “What do you think?”

  I nodded. “I actually like it. It would be a throwback to being a kid again mixed with adult elements. It’s good.”