“What the hell?” I mumbled. I could tell she was frustrated as she continued to come over to me. She almost stumbled but she pressed on, which made me proud of her.
“You know this is the second time I came up here. This hiking shit isn’t for me,” she said.
“At least you changed your shoes,” I added.
“I had no choice. But, I knew you would be here.”
She came closer as she stood before me. We didn’t know what to say; instead, we just stared at the night in front of us.
“Why did you come up here?”
“Because I had to check on you. I knew what Lillian said rubbed you the wrong way.”
“A part of it was, but I had to think about what lies ahead for the two of us. Kia, I haven’t been in a real relationship because I don’t know how to. I’m just used to the flings and one-night stands. I don’t know how a relationship should be; that’s why if we go that route, I don’t want to fuck up.”
Kia took a deep breath and sat down beside me. “How do you know if you’ll fuck up if you haven’t tried?”
“That’s the thing. I don’t know, but you have been through enough Kia; I just don’t want to put you in even more distress. I don’t want to add on to your issues.”
“I’m a big girl, Cane, so I can take care of myself. There are a lot of things that I have to work on with myself, which I am right now. I’m starting to learn more about the things that has occurred in my life and how to handle them better.”
“Why would you want to be in a relationship with me? I’m an asshole who only thinks about myself, will push people away when I don’t want to be bothered, and will probably cheat on you when I get bored.”
“That’s because you never found someone to change your views about relationships.”
“You’re saying that you’re the woman that’ll change my view on it?”
Kia smiled. “Maybe, if you’re willing to accept the challenge. All I’m saying is don’t let anything or anyone change your perceptive on things. Life is all about taking chances. That’s something that I had to learn recently. I think that something you should learn as well.”
“I’m all about taking chances.”
“Prove it.”
I glanced at the woman before me, seeing how much she had changed in such a short time. She put her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around her.
“Maybe that’s something we can learn more about together.”
Kia looked up and smiled. “That would be nice. Besides, I must really like you if I had to hike my ass up here. The view is amazing, but the hike sucks.”
I laughed. “You’ll get used to it, especially if you’re with me.”
Kia chuckled. “I guess I will.”
We sat in silence as I felt a few wet spots on my jacket. I looked up, seeing white flakes coming down.
“Wow, it’s really starting to snow.”
Kia looked up and smiled. “Oh my God, it is.”
“I guess we are going to have a white Christmas.”
“If it last that long.”
“Have a little faith, baby. It might happen.”
Kia smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I wouldn’t have imagined you saying that a few weeks ago.”
I held her tighter as I nuzzled the side of her neck. “A lot has changed for me in the past few weeks, including meeting you.”
Kia blushed. “You have made a difference in my life too. I don’t know where the future will hold for the two of us, but I’m excited to find out.”
“I am too because I really like you, Kia. I just didn’t know how to admit it.”
Kia nodded. “I feel the same way. But, there is something that I would like to do for Christmas.”
I glanced at her. “What’s that?”
She gave a sincere glance. “I won’t say yet, but you’ll know on the day of.”
I was a bit curious to see what Kia was up to. But, I’d think about that on Christmas. Now, I was just going to enjoy the moment with her and our newfound relationship. Although we both didn’t know where it was heading, all we knew was that we were enjoying the time we were spending with each other. If it did lead to more, then we wouldn’t have a problem with it at all.
28.
Kia
After dancing around our feelings for a while, Cane and I finally admitted that there was something there between us. Although I was still a bit hesitant on where things would go, I was excited that the two of us were taking this step together.
The day had finally come. It was Christmas and I had to admit, Tyler looked beautiful during this time of the year. Although the snow didn’t last, it was still cold, which had me in a good mood. Since Cane and I missed the event at the club, I decided to do a fun get together at my new place. With everything going on, I did have time to find an apartment near the club, that way I’d be close to work. I even decided to look at some nursing programs around the city. Although I was weighing my options with going back to nursing school, I did miss being in the medical field. It was still going to take some time to move on with the feelings that I had about my mother’s death, but I was slowly realizing that I shouldn’t feel guilty. My mom would have been proud of the accomplishments that I had made and would want me to live my life healthy and happy. That’s something I hadn’t been doing, so I needed to learn and try to.
I looked around my living room, happy at how the place looked. Two days before Christmas, Cane and I went to the closest Christmas tree lot and found a beautiful tree. It was fun seeing Cane trying to decorate it, which he actually did a good job on.
I took a deep breath, becoming nervous to what was about to happen. One of the things that I had realized in the last few days was that life really was too short to be harping on things that we shouldn’t hold on to. I realized that I wanted to end the year on a positive note, so I really hoped today didn’t backfire on me.
I was staring at the tree thinking about what could happen, when I felt a slight touch on my shoulders. I turned around, seeing Cane behind me.
“I see you’re lost in thought.”
“Sorry, I was thinking about what could happen today.”
“What could possibly happen? You invited Karla, Lucas, Stella, and even Brooke, which I’m surprised about.”
I sighed, wondering if it was a good idea inviting Brooke. After my talk with Cory, I had to come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t be mad at her. She wasn’t the issue with my problems with Cory; instead, she was just trying to protect me. She went about it the wrong way, but she was still looking out for me. That, I couldn’t be mad about.
“I’m just trying to make peace with things before the new year comes.”
“You have done a lot in the past few months, that’s something you should be proud of.”
“I know, just like you have. You weren’t even talking to Lucas at first.”
“Just like you can’t be mad at Brooke, I can’t be mad at Lucas. He’s been my friend for too many years. Besides, he can’t help who he’s family with.”
The doorbell rang, which Cane went to get. I continued looking at the tree when I heard footsteps approaching. I looked over, seeing it was Brooke, but who I wasn’t expecting to see was my dad behind her.
“Daddy?” I glanced at Brooke, wondering what the hell was she doing. She never said she was bringing my dad with her.
“Hi, Kia. I know you weren’t expecting me to come.”
“I wasn’t.”
Cane didn’t know whether to introduce himself when I decided to. My dad was a bit surprised at first, but he quickly hid his emotion by accepting Cane’s handshake.
“Is it okay if we talked?” my dad asked.
I nodded as we both went to my bedroom. I closed the door and my dad started to talk.
“It’s good to see you.”
I nodded. “It’s good to see you too. I’m sorry for not telling you about leaving.”
“I wished you would have instead
of hearing it from Brooke. I know you really weren’t talking to her either because of Cory.”
“Which I shouldn’t have blamed her for.”
“You probably were going through a lot, especially about your mother.”
I sat down on the bed as my dad sat beside me. “I keep telling you to stop blaming yourself about your mother. I know it was hard not being there to say goodbye, but your mom was still proud of you. She was at peace with everything because she knew that you was going to be okay. She told me that before she passed.”
“I just wished that I was there more for her. If I was…”
“Baby girl, regardless if you were there more or not, your mother was still dying. You shouldn’t keep blaming yourself over something you couldn’t control.”
“I just wished that I was able to control it. I wish things could had been different.”
“I know you do but, baby, you can’t keep living your life like it’s a mistake. You know your mom wouldn’t want that.”
I looked at my dad, wishing what he was saying was true. Even though I was trying to let go of the hurt I’d been experiencing, it was coming back now just from this conversation with my dad.
“I know she wouldn’t, but I can’t stop blaming myself. Just talking to you now, those feelings of regret and hurt are coming back to me. That’s why I tried not to talk to you because you remind me of the issues I’d dealt with before.”
“And you shouldn’t. You should live your life, do something that you love to do, and just live. Maybe get married, have kids, get a house. But, do it when you’re ready.”
“I know, Daddy.”
“But who is this guy, Cane? Where did you meet him?”
As soon as I told my dad everything from how I met Cane to what happened with Cory, my dad hugged me.
“Brooke told me a little about Cory, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“I probably had something to do with Cory cheating on me, but-”
“That’s no excuse to cheat, Kia, and you know it.”
“I know, it’s just that we sort of hurt each other. I swayed away and he cheated. Maybe now I won’t mess things up with Cane.”
“Do you really like him?”
I smiled. “I do. Our relationship is new, but I like where it’s going.”
“That’s all that matters then. Don’t worry about the small stuff; everything will fall into place.”
“Thanks.”
My dad smiled. “Anytime.”
“Thank you for being here too. I’m glad that Brooke brought you.”
“I’m glad too. Merry Christmas, daughter.”
“Merry Christmas, Dad.”
We hugged again, feeling good to be in my dad’s arms. Even though I was an adult, it was still a great feeling to be able to talk to him.
Once we walked back to the living room, Stella and her husband, Karla and Lucas had arrived. I went over to Brooke, who was talking to Cane, and immediately hugged her. She was caught off guard for a bit, but she quickly wrapped her arms around me. I apologized for my behavior, which I really did mean. I was just glad to have my friend back because I really did miss her.
“I’m really sorry,” Brooke whispered.
“It’s cool, Brooke. I should be the one apologizing to you. I know you were just looking out for me.”
“You sure you’re not mad?”
“I was at first, because I thought we were sisters and that we tell each other everything; so, I was more disappointed than mad.”
“So, you probably understood how I felt when you left.”
I nodded. “I did. Just promise me that we’ll be honest with each other for now on.”
Brooke nodded. “Of course. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
We hugged again when Cane approached us. “Is everything cool?”
I nodded. “It definitely is. I’m spending Christmas with my dad, my bestie, and with my new man. What more could I ask for?”
Cane smiled as he gave me a quick kiss.
“That doesn’t sound odd to say, does it?”
Cane shook his head. “It actually doesn’t. Merry Christmas, Kia.”
“Merry Christmas, Cane.”
We were about to kiss again when the doorbell rang. I noticed Karla went to answer it as Cane put me in his arms. “And it’ll be an even merrier Christmas once we’re alone tonight.”
“Is that all you think about?”
Cane gave a snide grin. “You know you’re thinking it too.”
Cane looked to the door and his smile turned into a frown. I looked to his direction, seeing why his expression changed. I took a deep breath, wondering if I had made a mistake with my plan.
“Why are they here?”
“Because it’s Christmas, Cane. You need to talk to your mom.”
I knew I probably should have warned Cane that I invited his mom, Aaron, his dad, and Elle to my place, but I knew if I did, he wouldn’t have showed up. Just like I had to face my demons about my mom, then he had to as well with his.
“How did you even know to contact my mom?” Cane asked. He glanced at Karla and Lucas, who both gave sympathetic glances.
“It doesn’t matter, just know you have the opportunity to talk to your family.”
Cane shook his head and walked passed everyone and out the door. I took a deep breath, realizing that maybe today wasn’t going to be the day for Cane to set aside his differences.
29.
Cane
I can’t believe Kia did that to me! After everything that had been happening between us, she went behind my back and invited Melissa! She’s the last person I would want to see, and Kia knew that. Thank God she didn’t invite Marcia because I really would have raised some hell.
I needed some fresh air, so I went outside. I leaned against my car, wondering if I should just leave when the door opened and Melissa walked outside. I sighed, really not looking forward to this conversation.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me right now.”
“I really don’t.”
“But, we need to. I’m really happy that Kia invited me to her place today. That meant a lot, especially from your girlfriend.”
“The relationship is still new,” I mumbled.
“That’s not how it looked when I walked in. You seemed pretty happy. And please, don’t be mad at Kia. Lucas was the one who told Kia to contact me.”
“Melissa…”
“Can you please call me Mom? I know you’re hurt, but I still gave birth to you.”
“Yeah, that’s all you did, because you sure didn’t raise me.”
I could tell I was irritating Melissa, but at that point I didn’t care. She did the unthinkable by leaving me, so she deserved to be scolded.
“Cane, I know you are still angry and hurt by what I have done to you and, for that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for abandoning you and Aaron all of these years, especially during Christmas time. I know that’s why you hate Christmas so much.”
I didn’t even look at her as Melissa continued. “Christmas used to be your favorite holiday, and it wasn’t because of the presents. As you said, it was because everyone was together. That, and because I told you I got your name because I loved to eat candy canes.”
She gave a light chuckle and I slowly smiled. I remembered her telling that story to me about how I got my name. It was sort of silly; that’s why I never told anyone about it, but I always remembered seeing Melissa smile, which at the time I loved to see.
“Before you and Aaron were born, my music career was slowly beginning to rise. Although it was a blessing to have you both, I never wanted to let my dream go. I wanted it all, to have my career and my family but, when the opportunity for me to go overseas to sing came, I knew it was a once in a lifetime event, so I did what I had to do. Now that I look back on it, it was the biggest mistake ever because I’d missed out on so much with you both. I missed out on watching you two because the strong men that you both ar
e today. Not only that, but I hurt the one man that I loved. That, I can’t take back.”
“I’m glad you’re realizing your mistakes, but you can’t turn back the clock on any of those things now. What make you think that I’ll forgive you, especially when you kept repeating those mistakes in the past?”
“I understand, and I had to do some real soul-searching throughout the times I was away. I really hate what I did because I didn’t know how much it would affect you all, especially you. You’re my youngest, Cane, that’s why it hit you the hardest. I really wasn’t there for you and, for that, I’m truly sorry.”
I looked down to the ground, wishing I didn’t feel the way that I was feeling at that moment. Melissa was right, Christmas was my favorite holiday, but that all changed when she skipped out on me and Aaron. Now, all I could think about was her leaving. But, now that she was here, I really should put my feelings to the side and actually enjoy the holiday again.
“What should I do, give you another chance? How do I know you won’t leave again?”
Melissa looked sad as she put her hand on my cheek. “You were always the sensitive one out of you and Aaron. I really hate what I have done to you.”
“You were part of it, but it was life in general. I have seen a lot growing up, so it made me be the person that I am. It doesn’t make it right, but that’s all I know. I don’t know where I would had been if it wasn’t for Dad and Elle. But, after the past few weeks with Kia, I realized that I’m tired of being angry about things. Instead, I should let things go and actually live.”
“What are you trying to say?”
I slowly took Melissa’s hands into mines and sighed. “I’m trying to say that life is too short to hold on to grudges. I need to stop being resentful towards you and actually build a relationship with you. I’m not saying that I’m going to automatically forgive you, but you’re my mother, so I need to be able to get to know you again. I missed you in my life and I’ll regret it if I don’t have the opportunity for us to reconnect again.”
Melissa smiled. “Really?”
I nodded. “Really. Merry Christmas, Mom.”
Tears began to stream down Melissa’s face as she quickly put me in her arms. I took a deep breath, hoping I made the right decision; but, as I was hugging her, feeling her heartbeat against mine, I realized that I really was.
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