A Whole New Me

by Keya Jay

  Chapter 11

  The moment Azalea closed her bedroom door she saw that rotten mutt on her bed. She wanted to scream but she decided against it. Instead she walked right back out and decided to take her chances out in the hallway. Now as if God was testing her Casey made her way down the hallway. Now, do I stay here with this mutt or take my chances with the one in my room?  Quite frankly the mutt in my room scares me more than this one so I’ll take my chances out here, Azalea thought to herself.  

  Now as if someone was trying to send her a message saying that she picked wrong that she should have taken her chances in her room with the other mutt, Casey looked at Azalea from the corner of her eye and before Azalea could even register what was about to happen Casey snatched her necklace right from around her neck and threw it behind her back then she stopped. Azalea could barely even see Llorel making his way down the hallway toward her as her vision started to blur. Azalea bit down hard on the inside of her cheek and she could have sworn her whole entire body had spazzed out as she started to shake with anger. Blood filled her mouth quickly but not as quick as the forceful hands gripping her face. Azalea felt lips on her own and then a mighty forceful tongue snaked its way aggressively into her mouth. Azalea pressed her hands against Llorel’s chest as she tried to push him away. His tongue was mopping up her blood like a sponge and before she knew it she was fighting to get every drop of it back. Azalea honestly didn’t know what came over her all she knew was that she had to get it back. She was almost… hungry for it. He ran his tongue along the puncture that she had created to stop it from bleeding anymore but before he could pull away she bit his tongue and couldn’t even explain the sensation that ran through her as his warm blanketed blood covered her tongue and ran like a river down her throat. Azalea could feel his pain and surprise which caused her to push him away as the reality of what she had just done sunk in. Azalea pushed him with everything she had and accidentally elbowed Casey in the process (not that she was sorry for it). Azalea turned and hurried back to her room. She sat on her bed too angry to pay the stupid mutt on the bed with her any attention (but she wasn’t that stupid of course she kept her distance).

  Llorel walked into the room and closed the door behind him (more like slammed the door). His expression was incomprehensible, but Azalea’s wasn’t. She felt like she was blowing smoke out of her ears she was so angry.

  “I thought I warned you Azalea,” he said through clenched teeth. He’s gonna blame this all on me like this is my fault?

  “You’re right Llorel. How could I? I’m so sorry,” she said sarcastically. “It’s not like I TRIED to stop you from sticking your TONGUE. DOWN. MY. THROAT!”

  “Worst would have happened if I didn’t.”

  “THAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?! THAT I SHOULD HAVE JUST LET IT HAPPEN?! Forgive me I should have seen that you were just trying to “help” how stupid of me.”

  “Azalea you’re in a house full of thirsty vampires. What the fuck do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there? They would have just left you alone? That’s not how it works here Azalea they’re monsters.”

  “Just because you’re a monster doesn’t make everyone else one.” Azalea could literally feel a pain so deep she could have sworn there was a knife sticking out of her heart. She could see the hurt expression on Llorel’s face and he didn’t even try to hide it.

  “You’re just like everyone else, but that just proves to me that you’re just like one person in particular. I knew I should have left you alone when I had a chance,” he said almost regretful.

  “I have no clue what you’re talking about Llorel but let me tell you this: I’ve literally been through hell and back. At one point I was left at hell’s gate for longer than my little heart can imagine. This crap’s not normal; I just can’t get myself to possibly believe that. But what I do know is it took a while for me to get to the point that I’m at and I’m determined to keep going whether you like it or not, because I believe that everything happens for a reason. So if that means that I have to believe in this situation that I have found myself in with you then so be it. But that doesn’t mean that I’m willing to give up all of the other parts of me that have yet to be damaged in some way or another. If you want something from me asks for it but don’t take it and expect me not to do or say anything about it. However you managed to know me or however you managed to save me I thank you for that truly, cause I know you’ve been through the wringer yourself, I may not know why or how that came about but that doesn’t matter. What I know is that in some way or another I caused it and I wanna say I’m sorry for that I truly am but I need you to know that… I literally haven’t been aware or even in control of my very own actions for quite some time. I did what I was told so that I can eat… or even live another day but don’t hold that against me.” Azalea just couldn’t help but wonder what would have come of her if she didn’t have this situation to deal with. What would her life be like if she never left the way she did and found the way she was? Her life was literally a living hell but she tried to see a brighter side to it all but she couldn’t. She lived without so much. She worked harder than most just to get a bite of something to eat. And she thanked her lucky stars that she was in the position that she was in now and it just hurts her to hear Llorel say and show that he regrets doing whatever it was that he did to get her here. If he regrets it so much than why pretend?

  “Azalea hear me out,” he said softly Azalea had to call an end to this she couldn’t let him see her cry.

  “I’ll do you one better Llorel,” she said just as softly as she moved toward the door. “How bout I see you out.” Azalea opened the door and waited for him to step on the other side of it. He walked out slowly and she shut the door before he had a chance to turn around and say anything else. Azalea made her way back toward her bed and glared at the mutt through teary eyes; it met her gaze and hopped off of the bed. She laid down into a ball and started to cry. The mutt hopped back onto the bed and huddled up against her and began to lick her tears as they slowly tracked their way down her chin and she ended up crying even harder into its fur. Sooner or she hoped to cry herself to sleep she told herself as the tears continued to come and the mutt continued to clear them away.

  When Azalea woke up the mutt was gone, where could it have gone the doors closed? She thought to herself. She didn’t want to dwell on it too much her body was in-need of a shower.

  When Azalea was under the water everything up until this point had washed over her. She shampooed and lotioned and then got dressed. She walked back into the bedroom she was kind of hoping that the mutt would be there but it wasn’t, it was gone. She walked down to the kitchen to see Mrs. Sarah and to her surprise Dylinn was there. There was a reason she wanted to see him but she couldn’t quite remember, oh well.

  Azalea sat at the kitchen counter and Mrs. Sarah slid her over a cup of milk and for a Nano-second she felt like a kid again.

  “How was training honey?”

  “Exhausting,” Azalea said taking a sip from the glass of milk.

  “Did he work you hard?”

  “Hard enough.”

  “Sorry to interrupt ladies but can I take Azalea away for a minute?” Dylinn asked.

  “Ok but while you’re out can you take this out to George, he’s been asking for his pie for weeks,” Mrs. Sarah said handing the pie to Dylinn. “I made an extra if you want some Azalea,” she offered.

  “Oh no thank you I’m not really a pie eater.”

  “Oh come on Azalea you never know unless you try,” Dylinn pleaded. I have tried and that’s how I know that I don’t really like pie. “If I do say so myself my mom’s pies are like nothing you’ve ever tasted before,” he continued.

  “Mom?” Azalea questioned. Well that explains a lot she’s the only one of the staff that doesn’t refer to him as Master Williams and Azalea could see the love in his eyes when he talks about her cooking. “What better person to have cook for you than your very own mother,”
Azalea said proudly to him.

  “That’s right,” Mrs. Sarah agreed.

  “Sure I’ll try a piece.” Mrs. Sarah went to go get yet another pie from the fridge. “Here you go.” she said sliding it over the counter toward her. It sure did look good and if by any chance it wasn’t at least she had that milk there to wash it down. Azalea hesitantly picked off a piece of the pie and popped it in her mouth.

  “Oh my heavenly Jesus,” she said as she stuck another mouthwatering piece into her mouth. This was nothing like the pie that Rose used to make; I should have known though that there was something wrong with them. The fact that no one else had to eat them but me should have given it away, Azalea thought solemnly.

  “I think we have a winner,” Dylinn announced as he watched the enjoyment play out on Azalea’s face.

  “This is really good Mrs. Sarah.”

  “I’m glad you like it dear, now run along you two George aint finna wait another week.”

  “Take it to go” Dylinn said seeing the sad face Azalea made at the thought of leaving her pie behind.

  They walked over toward George’s room which wasn’t that far from Azalea’s and gave him the pie and Azalea felt as if she could fully understood his excitement.

  “Tell your mother it’s about time, having me wait this long for this pie. She should be ashamed of herself.” Dylinn looked at Azalea as she continued to stare at the man named George who appeared to be in his 30’s.

  “George I would like you to meet Azalea. She is another victim of my mother’s pie.”

  “It’s nice to meet you Azalea. Let me warn you though one of these bad boys’ is enough you don’t wanna end up as pudgy as me now do you? It was nice meeting you Azalea and it was nice seeing you again Williams.”

  “You too George,” Dylinn replied. After George locked himself in his room with his pie Dylinn and Azalea walked down the long foyer and sat on a bench outside of Dylinn’s room. By the time she had sat down she had finished her pie and was sad again.

  “I’m seeing a little bit too much of that pout,” Dylinn pointed out as he bumped into her with his shoulder, and at that moment she had remembered the reason why she was looking for Dylinn in the first place.

  “I’m guessing you wanna hear why I screamed last night? A deals a deal.”

  “No I wanna know what made you so angry this afternoon.” Azalea wasn’t expecting that question nor was she expecting to actually answer it.

  “I’d rather explain why I screamed last night,” she said leaning down to rest her elbows on the tips of her knees and stared down at her folded hands.

  “And I’d rather hear what happened this afternoon.” Azalea looked over at Dylinn’s serious expression and then back at her folded hands.

  “I felt like a monster today,” she said looking back into his direction. “Casey took something of mine and threw it, so I got very angry. I almost killed her when we were training if it wasn’t for Llorel I might have actually killed her. But I promise you I would have killed her right then and there the moment her hands clasped around my necklace but again Llorel got in the way.” Azalea looked away from Dylinn at that point and continued to stare down at her hands. “I bit the inside of my mouth hard I was so angry and then Llorel took it from me,” she continued in a lower voice.

  “What do you mean Llorel took it from you?” Azalea looked back at Dylinn and arched a brow.

  “Just what I said.” She wasn’t about to elaborate.

  “What exactly did he take from you?” he asked cautiously.

  “My blood,” she said looking yet again at her folded hands.

  “So why exactly are you mad, because Llorel took your blood, or is it because of the way he took it?”

  “I thought about that myself and both anger me truthfully, but what angers me more than anything is why he took it. Don’t get me wrong I am most definitely angry by the way he took it and the fact that he took it but I’m angrier because of the reason why.”

  “And what reason would that be?”

  “That’s what’s angering me he won’t tell me why he just says that if he hadn’t then worst would have happened but he never gave me any clear understanding of why he had done it. It makes me think that he did it because he could.” Azalea truly was tired of being in those types of positions where she was used for someone else’s benefit. There’s no true reason why the people do what they do, they only do it because they know they can and Azalea had thought she had  gotten  away from the people who always thought that way, but it’s ironic how she was imprinted with an overpowering male. He’s just like the rest of them.

  “How did he manage to take it away from you?”

  “If you’re wondering if I fought back I did but he’s stronger than me. It started off as a kiss a very unexpected and unappreciated one but a kiss none the less. And truthfully I’d just hate to think of it as such.” So much for a first kiss, she thought. “But now that you mention it I was a bit angry that he was taking it from me in the first place, I had gotten a bit defensive. I just felt like he was taking something that belonged to me and if I don’t get it back then I’ll never see it again… it was weird… what made it worse was his face expression… he looked as if he was used to it,” she said looking back at Dylinn so that he could somehow clarify it for her.

  “Yall had to imprint somehow,” was all he said. Azalea looked back down at her folded hands. Well he got what he wanted was all she could think about.

  “I swear I ran out of tears,” she said as one rolled down her cheek. Dylinn placed his index knuckle under her chin so that she could be facing him. He took his thumb and whipped at the tear, and then he bent down and placed a sweet soft kiss on her lips and he didn’t move until she had kissed him back. When he leaned back she could still feel his lips on hers. She very dorkishly brought her fingers up to her lips and Dylinn laughed at her, it was a soft laugh, a quite contagious one at that.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Well you just did and truthfully you’ve been doing it this whole time,” she answered which caused him to laugh again.

  “Do you have feelings for Llorel, is that what’s truly bothering you?”

  “What do you mean?” Azalea asked confused.

  “Maybe you might like Llorel and the fact that he had kissed you for the wrong reasons whether it was a real one or not maybe that’s what truly bothered you.

  “No,” Azalea said. “I have no feelings for Llorel and trust me when I say I don’t even have a mutual liking for him.”

  “So you have no interest what’s so ever?”

  “None,” she agreed.

  “Can I take you out tomorrow?” Azalea’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets from pure shock.

  “Out how, like a date?”

  “Yea.” Azalea barely knew anything about him! But dates are all about getting to know people. This will be her very first date what better way to spend it than with someone you trust, sort of kind of.

  “Okay,” she finally answered.

  “Cool I’ll pick you up at 7,” he said as he stood, Azalea soon followed suit. “I’ll see you around,” he said bending down to place a kiss on her cheek before entering his room. Azalea very happily made her way down to her room but got just a little bit upset when she realized that the mutt wasn’t there. When I wanna see the dang dog he’s not here but when I don’t he’s everywhere. She had expected to see him on her bed but in his place was a long velvet box and a note. Azalea sat on the bed and picked up the note.

  I found this in the hallway, I fixed it, it was the least I could do. -Llorel

  As she looked at the note it looked like he wanted to put I’m sorry but he erased it. Would it hurt him to show just a little compassion? Azalea put the note down and opened the velvet box to see her necklace fixed and polished.

  This necklace meant so much to her and absolutely nothing to her all at the same time. Rose told Azalea that it was the only th
ing she had when she found her, she said it was clutched in the palm of her hands. She wore it every day of her life without any clear reason why. She had no clue what the necklace truly meant to her, all she knew was that it was the only constant thing in her life and it will stay with her till the bitter end hopefully.

  Azalea looked down at the small diamond encrusted moon and star and couldn’t help but to cry. She heard scratching at the door and quickly wiped her eyes dry. Scratching? Azalea got up from the bed and opened the door.

  “Oh my pineapple plums!” It was the mutt. He frolicked into the room and pounced onto her bed. Azalea walked over toward it and rubbed its head, it licked her hand and when she jumped she could have sworn it smiled at her. Azalea placed her hand back on his head and began to scratch behind his ear. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she noticed Llorel and a little girl standing in her door frame.

  “Can I pet your dog?” the little girl asked as she walked in and sat down on the other side of the mutt.

  “Umm sure but it’s not my dog,” Azalea said getting up to stand next to Llorel.

  ‘It’s not even a dog’

  “Then what is it?” Azalea asked.

  “What is what?” the little girl asked.

  “Llorel says it’s not a dog,” Azalea answered. The little girl looked at Llorel through narrowed eyes and furrowed brows.

  “Rell is she the one?” she asked and he simply nodded his head. While Azalea looked on confused the little girl looked overly excited. She looked about 8, she had long black hair and blue eyes and she was just adorable with her little dimples.

  “She doesn’t know she’s doing it Nay,” he responded to the little girl.

  “Oh” she said a bit upset.

  “Well why won’t you tell her?” she asked confused.

  “Why won’t he tell me what?” Azalea asked having not a clue what they were talking about.

  “Because I’ve been busy since we’ve gotten here I never really had time to sit down and talk to her,” he said a bit defensively. Azalea wondered if his lack of emotions bothered the little girl.

  “Well then I’ll just take the dog or whatever it is for a walk while you sit here and talk to her,” she said jumping off the bed with the dog not too far behind. “But don’t take too long you still have a lesson to teach,” she said patting him on the arm. “It was nice meeting you…”

  “Azalea” she filled in for the girl, Azalea hadn’t even realized that they had skipped introductions.

  “Azalea, cute name!” she expressed happily. Azalea smiled down at the little girl.

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. The last girl Rell was with wasn’t nearly as pretty as you,” she gushed. Azalea looked over at Llorel not entirely sure why she was expecting some type of reaction from him.

  “Thanks I appreciate the compliment,” she said looking back at the girl.

  “My name’s Nay-Nay!”  

  “Nice to meet you Nay-Nay,” she said flashing the little girl a genuine smile. The girl reached over and gave her a hug; Azalea bent down to her size and hugged her back only just a tad bit taken aback by the movement.

  “Don’t get too close to the Grinch, he doesn’t like to be touched,” she whispered in warning. “Maybe a certain someone should warm up that iceberg where his heart used to be,” she suggested.

  ‘Maybe,” Azalea said releasing her.

  “Now don’t scare her away Rell I like her,” she said whacking him in the stomach before exiting the room with the dog or whatever it was in tow. Azalea turned to face Llorel and his lips were slightly turned up in the corners. Was that a smile? Well whatever it was it didn’t last long. Azalea walked over toward her bed and sat down.

  “Tell me what?” she asked again grabbing for the bowl of peanuts she kept on the nightstand near her bed. She popped a few in her mouth and heard him sigh before making his way toward the bed.

  “Remember in Q’s art class when I couldn’t figure out what to paint my background and you suggested gray?” he asked.

  “Yea I remember,” she said popping more peanuts in her mouth.

  “Well you had answered a question that I had never asked out loud,” he said grabbing for some of her peanuts. “I didn’t believe it at first but then when we went back to Q’s class room and he was questioning you about your painting. I was thinking whether or not you truly knew why it was that you were drawn to the Narcissus flower and remember you making a comment about me not knowing everything there is to know about you?”

  “Yea I remember,” she repeated.

  “Well when Q said that I haven’t said a word since I walked into the classroom he was right I didn’t say anything,” he said putting the emphasis on the word say.

  “So… your point in telling me all of this is to convince me that I can hear your thoughts?” “Yea, well only when I let you. I learned how to shield them.”

  “Is this because of our imprint?” He nodded. There was a question that she was just itching to ask but first she had to know, “Can you hear my thoughts?”

  “No, but I don’t need to be able to hear your thoughts in order to know what you’re thinking. Your face is like an open book, that and because I can feel your emotions.” Azaleas’ mouth immediately dropped. “Like right now for instance you are surprised and confused but before you were anxious about something. Can you feel my emotions?” What emotions? She thought.

  “Umm well I think I can. Sometimes I can feel your emotions as if they’re my own, but they’re mostly angry, agitated or sad emotions,” and yet she was not surprised. “How did we imprint?” she asked getting the question off of her chest.

  “Why are you so nervous,” he asked not answering her question which only exceeded in making her angry or was it his anger she was feeling? “Look Azalea you said it yourself you know how imprints work I’m pretty sure you can figure it out.” Now she was pretty dang sure that it was her anger that she was feeling.

  “Llorel you know that’s not the same. I don’t want to have to make assumptions I want you to tell me how.”

  “Fine” he said shrugging his shoulders. “But let me start off by saying that it was your mother who changed me.”

  “Was she trying to turn you into a bloodthirsty monster?”

  “I see you’ve talked to Dylinn why didn’t you ask him how we imprinted?” he asked obviously still not wanting to tell her... Too bad!

  “Because it’s not something that I want to hear from him, I want to hear it from you. Besides you’re the one who did it, why would I ask someone else about what you did?”

  “Why do you make it sound like I raped you or killed your father?”

  “I don’t know is that what you had to do in order to﹘”

  “No!” he said not even letting her finish.

  “Well then how?”

  “Why does it matter? What’s done is done. If you plan on breaking the imprint you can very well do that without knowing how it got there in the first place.”

  “That doesn’t matter. The fact that you’re refusing to tell me just makes me think that whatever it was that you did had to have been bad and because it happened to me I wanna know what that something was.”  

  “What makes you think that I had anything to do with this, I could be a victim in all of this just like you?”

  “Could but you’re not. Nothing about you say’s victim.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that you’re avoiding the question!”

  “It means you don’t trust me.”

  “WHY SHOULD I! I MEAN REALLY? NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS WORTH MY TRUST. YOU WON’T EVEN TELL ME HOW YOU GOT ME STUCK IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

  “MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T GET YOU STUCK IN THIS MESS! THIS SHIT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, EVERYTHING THAT’S EVER WENT WRONG IN YOUR LIFE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD START THINKING ABOUT THE THINGS THAT WENT
RIGHT AND THEN YOU CAN BLAME ME!”

  “OH… DON’T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE YOU’RE MY FLIPPIN LIFE SAVER, AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THERE’S NOT A THING IN MY LIFE THAT HAD POSSIBLY TURNED OUT GOOD, MY LIFE WAS A LIVING HELL AND I WANNA KNOW IF YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT,BECAUSE THIS IMPRINT HAS ONLY SUCCEEDED IN PLACING ME IN EVEN MORE TROUBLE!”

  “You can’t possibly think that being imprinted with me is worse than everything you’ve been through.”

  “It’s pretty far up there,” which wasn’t true it’s actually last on her list of fucked up life styles but she was mad he wouldn’t tell her why, that’s all she asked, she just wanted to know why.

  “Why me?” she asked softly hoping he’d at least answer that question. But he just got up to leave.

  “Come on we need to go get Nay-Nay before she thinks we forgot about her.” He moved from the bed with lightning speed and held the door for her. She got off the bed feeling hurt and confused and followed Llorel down toward the training ground to where Nay-Nay, the “dog”, and a couple of horses were.

  “Did you tell her?” she asked nearly jumping up and down with somewhat held excitement.

  “Yea I told her” Llorel said walking over toward one of the horses.

  “Everything?” she questioned but he just hopped on the horse and pretended not to hear her. He didn’t ride the horse he just practiced hoping on and off with grace.  Azalea would have been impressed if she wasn’t so freakin mad.

  “What’s with him?” Nay whispered. I wish I knew but sadly she’s asking the wrong person. “Are you angry with him?” she asked clearly concerned.

  “I don’t know,” Azalea answered truthfully.

  “Well I want you to meet someone,” she said beaming her smile at her. “Nicky!” she called out, and behind one of the horses stalls a tall looking man made his way toward them. Nicky was hot! “Azalea this is Nicky my brother.”

  “Hey,” she said smiling like an idiot.

  “Hey” he said making her forget all about her minor argument with Llorel… that is until Nicky took his sister over toward one of the horses leaving Azalea alone with Llorel.

  “If that’s not a dog then what is?” Azalea asked after having a little bit too much of the silence between them.

  “He’s a werewolf.”

  “A were-what?”

  “A werewolf, you know shapeshifters?”

  “Yea I know what they are,” she said thinking she had to be living in the twilight movie.

  “He belongs to Mrs. Sarah.”

  “Well no wonder she was smiling at it instead of screaming at it like I was.” Llorel looked over at her like she was crazy instead of responding.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” he said looking away. “Do you ride?” he asked.

  “If the question is: Do I know how to ride? Then the answer is no, but if the question is: Have I ridden before? Then the answer  is yes,” she said remembering the time when her and Dez were 9 and Dez’s dad them riding, Azalea ended up with a cracked rib that day and it only got worse when she had gotten home.

  “Do you wanna learn it’ll be fun?” Fun with Llorel? Tempting but… “Naw I’m not in the mood for broken bones today, I’m still sore from training,” she said bumping him with her shoulder in a playful manner. Did I really just do that? With Llorel?

  “Maybe next time,” he said bumping into her back actually causing her to stumble a bit from the force of his shoulder.

  “Rain check?” she asked looking up at him a bit… hopeful.

  “Sure” he said walking away from her and toward the horses after Nay-Nay and Nicky had brought there’s back.