Chapter IV
I am taught on a cold morning, before breakfast, how to stand fire, andthus prove my courage--After breakfast I also prove my gallantry--Myproof meets reproof--Woman at the bottom of all mischief--By one I losemy liberty, and, by another, my money.
When I began to wake the next morning I could not think what it was thatfelt like a weight upon my chest, but as I roused and recalled myscattered thoughts, I remembered that in an hour or two it would bedecided whether I were to exist another day. I prayed fervently, andmade a resolution in my own mind that I would not have the blood ofanother upon my conscience, and would fire my pistol up in the air. Andafter I had made that resolution, I no longer felt the alarm which I didbefore. Before I was dressed, the midshipman who had volunteered to bemy second, came into my room, and informed me that the affair was to bedecided in the garden behind the inn; that my adversary was a very goodshot, and that I must expect to be winged if not drilled.
"And what is winged and drilled?" inquired I. "I have not only neverfought a duel, but I have not even fired a pistol in my life."
He explained what he meant, which was, that being winged implied beingshot through the arm or leg, whereas being drilled was to be shotthrough the body. "But," continued he, "is it possible that you havenever fought a duel?"
"No," replied I; "I am not yet fifteen years old."
"Not fifteen! why I thought you were eighteen at the least." (But I wasvery tall and stout for my age, and people generally thought me olderthan I actually was.)
I dressed myself and followed my second into the garden, where I foundall the midshipmen and some of the waiters of the inn. They all seemedvery merry, as if the life of a fellow-creature was of no consequence.The seconds talked apart for a little while, and then measured theground, which was twelve paces; we then took our stations. I believethat I turned pale, for my second came to my side and whispered that Imust not be frightened. I replied, that I was not frightened, but that Iconsidered that it was an awful moment. The second to my adversary thencame up and asked me whether I would make an apology, which I refused todo as before: they handed a pistol to each of us, and my second showedme how I was to pull the trigger. It was arranged that at the wordgiven, we were to fire at the same time. I made sure that I should bewounded, if not killed, and I shut my eyes as I fired my pistol in theair. I felt my head swim, and thought I was hurt, but fortunately I wasnot. The pistols were loaded again, and we fired a second time. Theseconds then interfered, and it was proposed that we should shake hands,which I was very glad to do, for I considered my life to have been savedby a miracle. We all went back to the coffee-room, and sat down tobreakfast. They then told me that they all belonged to the same shipthat I did, and that they were glad to see that I could stand fire, forthe captain was a terrible fellow for cutting-out and running under theenemy's batteries.
The next day my chest arrived by the waggon, and I threw off my"bottle-greens" and put on my uniform. I had no cocked hat, or dirk, asthe warehouse people employed by Mr Handycock did not supply thosearticles, and it was arranged that I should procure them at Portsmouth.When I inquired the price, I found that they cost more money than I hadin my pocket, so I tore up the letter I had written to my mother beforethe duel, and wrote another asking for a remittance, to purchase my dirkand cocked hat. I then walked out in my uniform, not a little proud, Imust confess. I was now an officer in his Majesty's service, not veryhigh in rank, certainly, but still an officer and a gentleman, and Imade a vow that I would support the character, although I was consideredthe greatest fool of the family.
I had arrived opposite a place called Sally Port, when a young lady,very nicely dressed, looked at me very hard and said, "Well, Reefer, howare you off for soap?" I was astonished at the question, and more so atthe interest which she seemed to take in my affairs. I answered, "Thankyou, I am very well off; I have four cakes of Windsor, and two bars ofyellow for washing." She laughed at my reply, and asked me whether Iwould walk home and take a bit of dinner with her. I was astonished atthis polite offer, which my modesty induced me to ascribe more to myuniform than to my own merits, and, as I felt no inclination to refusethe compliment, I said that I should be most happy. I thought I mightventure to offer my arm, which she accepted, and we proceeded up HighStreet on our way to her home.
Just as we passed the admiral's house, I perceived my captain walkingwith two of the admiral's daughters. I was not a little proud to let himsee that I had female acquaintances as well as he had, and, as I passedhim with the young lady under my protection, I took off my hat, and madehim a low bow. To my surprise, not only did he not return the salute,but he looked at me with a very stern countenance. I concluded that hewas a very proud man, and did not wish the admiral's daughters tosuppose that he knew midshipmen by sight; but I had not exactly made upmy mind on the subject, when the captain, having seen the ladies intothe admiral's house, sent one of the messengers after me to desire thatI would immediately come to him at the George Inn, which was nearlyopposite.
I apologised to the young lady, and promised to return immediately ifshe would wait for me; but she replied, if that was my captain, it washer idea that I should have a confounded wigging and be sent on board.So, wishing me good-bye, she left me and continued her way home. I couldas little comprehend all this as why the captain looked so black when Ipassed him; but it was soon explained when I went up to him in theparlour at the George Inn. "I am sorry, Mr Simple," said the captain,when I entered, "that a lad like you should show such early symptoms ofdepravity; still more so, that he should not have the grace which eventhe most hardened are not wholly destitute of--I mean to practiseimmorality in secret, and not degrade themselves and insult theircaptain by unblushingly avowing (I may say glorying in) their iniquity,by exposing it in broad day, and in the most frequented street of thetown."
"Sir," replied I with astonishment, "O dear! O dear! what have I done?"
The captain fixed his keen eyes upon me, so that they appeared to pierceme through, and nail me to the wall. "Do you pretend to say, sir, thatyou were not aware of the character of the person with whom you werewalking just now?"
"No, sir," replied I; "except that she was very kind and good-natured;"and then I told him how she had addressed me, and what subsequently tookplace.
"And is it possible, Mr Simple, that you are so great a fool?" I repliedthat I certainly was considered the greatest fool of our family. "Ishould think you were," replied he, drily. He then explained to me whothe person was with whom I was in company, and how any association withher would inevitably lead to my ruin and disgrace.
I cried very much, for I was shocked at the narrow escape which I hadhad, and mortified at having fallen in his good opinion. He asked me howI had employed my time since I had been at Portsmouth, and I made anacknowledgment of having been made tipsy, related all that themidshipmen had told me, and how I had that morning fought a duel.
He listened to my whole story very attentively, and I thought thatoccasionally there was a smile upon his face, although he bit his lipsto prevent it. When I had finished, he said, "Mr Simple, I can no longertrust you on shore until you are more experienced in the world. I shalldesire my coxswain not to lose sight of you until you are safe on boardof the frigate. When you have sailed a few months with me, you will thenbe able to decide whether I deserve the character which the younggentlemen have painted, with, I must say, I believe, the sole intentionof practising upon your inexperience."
Altogether I did not feel sorry when it was over. I saw that the captainbelieved what I had stated, and that he was disposed to be kind to me,although he thought me very silly. The coxswain, in obedience to hisorders, accompanied me to the Blue Posts. I packed up my clothes, paidmy bill, and the porter wheeled my chest down to the Sally Port, wherethe boat was waiting.
"Come, heave a-head, my lads, be smart. The captain says we are to takethe young gentleman on board directly. His liberty's stopped for gettingdrunk and running after the Dolly Mops!"
> "I should thank you to be more respectful in your remarks, Mr Coxswain,"said I with displeasure.
"Mister Coxswain! thanky, sir, for giving me a handle to my name,"replied he. "Come, be smart with your oars, my lads!"
"La, Bill Freeman," said a young woman on the beach, "what a nice younggentleman you have there! He looks like a sucking Nelson. I say, mypretty young officer, could you lend me a shilling?"
I was so pleased at the woman calling me a young Nelson, that Iimmediately complied with her request. "I have not a shilling in mypocket," said I, "but here is half-a-crown, and you can change it andbring me back the eighteen pence."
"Well, you are a nice young man," replied she, taking the half-crown;"I'll be back directly, my dear."
The men in the boat laughed, and the coxswain desired them to shove off.
"No," observed I, "you must wait for my eighteen pence."
"We shall wait a devilish long while then, I suspect. I know that girl,and she has a very bad memory."
"She cannot be so dishonest or ungrateful," replied I. "Coxswain, Iorder you to stay--I am an officer."
"I know you are, sir, about six hours old: well, then, I must go up andtell the captain that you have another girl in tow, and that you won'tgo on board."
"Oh no, Mr Coxswain, pray don't; shove off as soon as you please, andnever mind the eighteen pence."
The boat then shoved off, and pulled towards the ship, which lay atSpithead.
Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 Page 8