Chapter V
I am introduced to the quarter-deck and first lieutenant, who pronouncesme very clever--Trotted below to Mrs Trotter--Connubial bliss in acock-pit--Mr Trotter takes me in as a mess-mate--Feel very muchsurprised that so many people know that I am the son of--my father.
On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain tothe first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note,looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to anotherlieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. As long as it was notpopular, if we had not much education, we at least had the chance thatnatural abilities gave us; but now that great people send their sons fora provision into the navy, we have all the refuse of their families, asif anything was good enough to make a captain of a man-of-war, who hasoccasionally more responsibility on his shoulders, and is placed insituations requiring more judgment, than any other people in existence.Here's another of the fools of a family made a present of to thecountry--another cub for me to lick into shape. Well, I never saw theone yet I did not make something of. Where's Mr Simple?"
"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I hadoverheard.
"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe, and payparticular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this notethat you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken inthat way. You're something like the monkeys, who won't speak becausethey are afraid they will be made to work. I have looked attentively atyour face, and I see at once that you are _very clever_, and if you donot prove so in a very short time, why--you had better jump overboard,that's all. Perfectly understand me. I know that you are a very cleverfellow, and having told you so, don't you pretend to impose upon me, forit won't do."
I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I waspleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all inmy power to keep up such an unexpected reputation.
"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come ondeck."
The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologized for being sodirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short,thick-set man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a redclub to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers.
"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman whohas joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammockslung. You must look after him a little."
"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," repliedMr Trotter; "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster."Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another,and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, whichwhen I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit.
"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest,"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck abovethis, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you asa friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly;the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mindthat. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is onboard. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be heredirectly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net ofpotatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permissionfor you to mess with us. You will then be away from the midshipmen, whoare a sad set, and will teach you nothing but what is immoral andimproper, and you will have the advantage of being in good society, forMrs Trotter has kept the very best in England. I make you this offerbecause I want to oblige the first lieutenant, who appears to take aninterest about you, otherwise I am not very fond of having any intrusionupon my domestic happiness."
I replied that I was much obliged to him for his kindness, and that ifit would not put Mrs Trotter to an inconvenience, I should be happy toaccept of his offer; indeed, I thought myself very fortunate in havingmet with such a friend. I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived apair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us,and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who came down theladder with a net full of smoking potatoes.
"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a verypretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to MrSimple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who, withyour permission, will join our mess."
"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thoughtthat nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady,simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed.
"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there anything to beashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. Ibelieve I mentioned his desire to join our mess."
"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange placefor me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have beenaccustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than losethe company of my dear Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniarymatters--"
"Say no more about it, my love. Domestic happiness is everything, andwill enliven even the gloom of a cock-pit."
"And yet," continued Mrs Trotter, "when I think of the time when we usedto live in London, and keep our carriage. Have you ever been in London,Mr Simple?" I answered that I had.
"Then, probably, you may have been acquainted with, or have heard of,the Smiths?"
I replied that the only people that I knew there were a Mr and MrsHandycock.
"Well, if I had known that you were in London, I should have been veryglad to have given you a letter of introduction to the Smiths. They arequite the topping people of the place."
"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look afterour dinner?"
"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces to-day. MrSimple, will you excuse me?" and then, with a great deal of flirtationand laughing about her ankles, and requesting me, as a favour, to turnmy face away, Mrs Trotter ascended the ladder.
As the reader may wish to know what sort of looking personage she was, Iwill take this opportunity to describe her. Her figure was very good,and at one period of her life I thought her face must have been veryhandsome; at the time I was introduced to her, it showed the ravages oftime or hardship very distinctly; in short, she might be termed a fadedbeauty, flaunting in her dress, and not very clean in her person.
"Charming woman, Mrs Trotter, is she not, Mr Simple?" said the master'smate; to which, of course, I immediately acquiesced. "Now, Mr Simple,"continued he, "there are a few arrangements which I had better mentionwhile Mrs Trotter is away, for she would be shocked at our talking aboutsuch things. Of course, the style of living which we indulge in israther expensive. Mrs Trotter cannot dispense with her tea and her otherlittle comforts; at the same time I must put you to no extra expense--Ihad rather be out of pocket myself. I propose that during the time youmess with us you shall only pay one guinea per week; and as for entrancemoney, why I think I must not charge you more than a couple of guineas.Have you any money?"
"Yes," I replied, "I have three guineas and a half left."
"Well, then, give me the three guineas, and the half-guinea you canreserve for pocket-money. You must write to your friends immediately fora further supply."
I handed him the money, which he put in his pocket. "Your chest,"continued he, "you shall bring down here, for Mrs Trotter will, I amsure, if I request it, not only keep it in order for you, but see thatyour clothes are properly mended. She is a charming woman, Mrs Trotter,and very fond of young gentlemen. How old are you?"
I replied that I was fifteen.
"No more! well, I am glad of that, for Mrs Trotter is very particularafter a certain age. I should recommend you on no account to associatewith the other midshipmen. They are very angry with me, because I wouldnot permit Mrs Trotter to join their mess, and they are sadstory-tellers."
"That they certainly are," replied I; but here we were int
errupted byMrs Trotter coming down with a piece of stick in her hand upon whichwere skewered about a dozen small pieces of beef and pork, which shefirst laid on a plate, and then began to lay the cloth and prepare fordinner.
"Mr Simple is only fifteen, my dear," observed Mr Trotter.
"Dear me!" replied Mrs Trotter, "why, how tall he is! He is quite astall for his age as young Lord Foutretown, whom you used to take outwith you in the _chay_. Do you know Lord Foutretown, Mr Simple?"
"No, I do not, ma'am," replied I; but wishing to let them know that Iwas well connected, I continued, "but I dare say that my grandfather,Lord Privilege, does."
"God bless me! is Lord Privilege your grandfather? Well, I thought I sawa likeness somewhere. Don't you recollect Lord Privilege, my dearTrotter, that we met at Lady Scamp's--an elderly person? It's veryungrateful of you not to recollect him, for he sent you a very finehaunch of venison."
"Privilege--bless me, yes. Oh, yes! an old gentleman, is he not?" saidMr Trotter, appealing to me.
"Yes, sir," replied I, quite delighted to find myself among those whowere acquainted with my family.
"Well, then, Mr Simple," said Mrs Trotter, "since we have the pleasureof being acquainted with your family, I shall now take you under my owncharge, and I shall be so fond of you that Trotter shall become quitejealous," added she, laughing. "We have but a poor dinner to-day, forthe bumboat woman disappointed me. I particularly requested her to bringme off a leg of lamb, but she says that there was none in the market. Itis rather early for it, that's true; but Trotter is very nice in hiseating. Now, let us sit down to dinner."
I felt very sick, indeed, and could eat nothing. Our dinner consisted ofthe pieces of beef and pork, the potatoes, and a baked pudding in a tindish. Mr Trotter went up to serve the spirits out to the ship's company,and returned with a bottle of rum.
"Have you got Mr Simple's allowance, my love?" inquired Mrs Trotter.
"Yes; he is victualled to-day, as he came on board before twelveo'clock. Do you drink spirits, Mr Simple?"
"No, I thank you," replied I; for I remembered the captain's injunction.
"Taking, as I do, such an interest in your welfare, I must earnestlyrecommend you to abstain from them," said Mr Trotter. "It is a very badhabit, and once acquired, not easy to be left off. I am obliged to drinkthem, that I may not check the perspiration after working in the hold; Ihave, nevertheless, a natural abhorrence of them; but my champagne andclaret days are gone by, and I must submit to circumstances."
"My poor Trotter!" said the lady.
"Well," continued he, "it's a poor heart that never rejoiceth." He thenpoured out half a tumbler of rum, and filled the glass up with water.
"My love, will you taste it?"
"Now, Trotter, you know that I never touch it, except when the water isso bad that I must have the taste taken away. How is the water to-day?"
"As usual, my dear, not drinkable." After much persuasion Mrs Trotteragreed to sip a little out of his glass. I thought that she took itpretty often, considering that she did not like it, but I felt so unwellthat I was obliged to go on the main-deck. There I was met by amidshipman whom I had not seen before. He looked very earnestly in myface, and then asked my name. "Simple," said he. "What, are you the sonof old Simple?"
"Yes, sir," replied I, astonished that so many should know my family.
"Well, I thought so by the likeness. And how is your father?"
"Very well, I thank you, sir."
"When you write to him, make my compliments, and tell him that I desiredto be particularly remembered to him;" and he walked forward, but as heforgot to mention his own name, I could not do it.
I went to bed very tired; Mr Trotter had my hammock hung up in thecock-pit, separated by a canvas-screen from the cot in which he sleptwith his wife. I thought this very odd, but they told me it was thegeneral custom on board ship, although Mrs Trotter's delicacy was verymuch shocked by it. I was very sick, but Mrs Trotter was very kind. WhenI was in bed she kissed me, and wished me good night, and very soonafterwards I fell fast asleep.
Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 Page 9