Can't Touch This

by Pepper Winters

  Did she love me?

  Fuck, I hope she does.

  “Does it soothe your jealousy knowing my date tomorrow night has a penis?”

  “Not really. I know how irresistible you are. If they’re gay, then I have to worry about the male species as well as my own moving in on my territory.”

  “Your territory, huh?”

  “Yep. I might have to pee on you. It works in the animal kingdom. It could work at keeping hussies and eager men away.”

  “And what if this man was related? Would you be worried then?”

  “Oh my God, even more worried! You slept with your so-called cousin. Multiple times, I may add.” Her outburst rang with laugher. “No family relation is not safe.”

  “Ah, I love yo…ur sense of humour.”

  Holy shit, I almost slipped.

  Good save, Ry. Good save.

  We were both on a slippery slope tonight. Time to end the call before confessions split.

  “You love my sense of humour?” Her voice was hesitant. “That’s all you love?”

  I scowled at the ceiling, cursing myself. “Yup. That’s what I said. Sense of humour. Love it. Great. Funny stuff, Veves.”

  She tutted. “Right. Because that’s exactly what I want you to love about me.” The hook dangled, and I swam toward it like the sucker I was.

  I love your smile, your laugh, your face, your body, your soul, your kindness, your intelligence, your empathy, the way you sleep, the mole on your butt, your vanilla smell.

  I love you.

  But I was a man not a fish, and I didn’t take the bait.

  Doing my best to change the subject, I chuckled. “Remember I said I had an older brother? He’s arriving in town tomorrow night. I promised him clean sheets and a roof to sleep under. I have to uphold my side of the bargain even though I literally have no finished bedroom to store him in.”

  “He’s your brother, not a piece of luggage. You mean look after him not store him.”

  “Meh, same thing.”

  Vesper giggled. “So, you’re cheating on me with your brother?”

  “Seems that way.”

  “I might have to report you.”

  “Or punish me?”

  She whispered, “That could be arranged.”

  My cock stiffened. “Don’t say things like that in that sexy way unless you want a midnight visitor.”

  “I always want a midnight visitor if it’s you.”

  “You say the nicest things to me.”

  “And I mean them. See what a great girlfriend I am?”

  My heart clenched. “You’re better than great. You’re the best.”

  “And this conversation just veered into cheesy territory.”

  I sighed. “Can you blame me?”

  “Yes, I can actually. I was never this infatuated before. You’re interfering with my life.”

  “If I wasn’t interfering, I’d be fucking heartbroken because it would mean you didn’t like me.”

  Silence fell.

  I hesitated then asked a juvenile but much needed question. “You do like me, Ves…don’t you?”

  “Seriously, Ry? Fishing for compliments now?”

  “Fishing for confirmation of your affection.”

  “You already know how I feel about you.”

  “I do?”

  Silence again.

  That damn third party awkwardness and annoying cupid fluttering around us with his arrows ruined everything.

  Vesper finally murmured, “You know as well as I do what we’re avoiding. And when we finally find the balls to be honest with each other, we’ll do it in person and not over the phone.”

  My hand slipped down my body, cupping between my legs. “I have balls. Holding two of them right now. Maybe I’ll just come out and say it.”

  “Do it and you’ll ruin what you’ll get after you do. Because I’m not there to leap on you.”

  “Wait…what do I get?”

  “It’s a surprise.” She yawned. “Now, I really need to get to sleep. Big day tomorrow. We’re inducing a Peke-A-Tese to deliver eight little puppies. The litter is too big for her to give birth naturally so we’re helping her out.”

  “Working on a tease while you’re a tease. Saying you’ll leap on me and then hang up to care for a pooch. I see how it is.”

  “I know, I’m evil.”

  “Wrong. You’re the best person I know.”

  “And you’re the best person now and forever, Ry.”

  My cheeks ached from grinning but my heart hurt from loving this girl. Keeping it a secret (although a badly kept one seeing as I insisted on hugging her every chance I got) weighed on me. I wanted to say it out loud. I needed to say the words and make it real.

  I wanted to know what it felt like when she knew one hundred percent that I was irrevocably in love with her.

  But she was right.

  Something of that magnitude was best kept for face to face.

  I could wait.

  One more night.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  ---------------------

  Vesper

  “I’M SO GLAD I’M ON the pill.” I rubbed my forehead with the back of my surgical glove as Polly and I helped extract yet another puppy from the poor Peke-A-Tese. She’d been knocked up by a renegade Jack Russell who pillaged the neighbourhood.

  Being slightly bigger than her and Jack Russell’s notoriously having large litters; her poor birth canal would suffer too much to deliver naturally. Both her and the puppies would’ve died if her owner hadn’t had the foresight to bring her in for an ultrasound with our fancy equipment and book in a C-section.

  Amanda stood beside me, while another vet student, Sophie, stood beside Polly. After we extracted each puppy, the girls towelled off the amniotic fluid, wiped down their scrunched up faces, used a syringe to extract any mucus from their noses, and flipped them onto their stomachs to rub their tiny backs, mimicking mum’s licking to wake them up.

  So far we’d delivered four out of eight and each one was alive and mewling for milk.

  We had to work fast.

  “I’m just glad most humans statistically only give birth to one. I mean, I know there’s the freak odd case of octuplets but that’s normally because of meddling with science not nature.” Polly shuddered as she cut the umbilical cord on another puppy. “Is it wrong of me not to want children? Not because I don’t want to go through the pain of childbirth but because I hate the way the world is becoming with chemicals in our food and danger all around?” She looked up, her eyes wide and slightly sad while her face was covered by a surgical mask. We all wore hair nets and scrubs, hiding most of our features.

  “I don’t think that’s stupid at all. I get it.” Handing over the second to last puppy to Amanda, I added, “I’m still on the fence about having a baby. Partly because of what you just said but mostly because I think I’d drive myself nuts trying to protect it. I’d be that mum, you know? The one that doesn’t let her child walk to school even though they’re sixteen and threatening to run away from home if they don’t get some independence.”

  Amanda quipped. “My mum was like that. Smothered us. So we did the opposite. I was doing pot with the badass drop outs from school at fourteen just because I wanted to prove I could be stupid and stay alive.”

  “There, you see.” I pointed at Amanda while looking at Polly. “My point is made. I think I’ll stick to cats and dogs and a pig or two.”

  “A pig?” Polly startled, passing the last puppy to Sophie. “What the hell do pigs have to do with it?”

  I giggled. “Whoops, I forgot to tell you. Ryder has a pigmy pig called Hippo. She’s a darling wee thing.”

  “By wee you mean a perfect pork chop?”

  “Don’t be mean.” I glanced at Amanda. “Place the litter into the incubator and mix up the formula like I showed you. We’ll finish up here and put the mum into recovery.”

  Amanda nodded. “Okay.” She and Sophie took the towel filled box wit
h brand new squirmy life from the room. I didn’t entirely trust her but Polly and I would be busy for the next thirty minutes sewing up this brave little Peke-A-Tese.

  As we got to work doing something we knew inside out, Polly said, “It’s getting serious with him, isn’t it?”

  I shrugged, pulling a needle through the small incision we’d made.

  “Don’t you shrug me, Vessie. I know you and I’ve never seen you this way. You seem older but younger. Wiser but sillier. You seem to have a relaxation and nervousness all at the same time.”

  “Wow, I sound like a basket case.”

  “I wasn’t going to put it in so many words, but yeah.” Polly laughed softly. “Kinda are.”

  “So if you already know why I’m acting so strange, you tell me if it’s serious or not.”

  Polly dropped her eyes, adding a few internal stitches from her end. “I think you’ll end up marrying him. And I’m so damn happy for you, Ves, but I’m freaking terrified at the same time.”

  It wasn’t the word marriage that made me gasp but the fact my best friend was afraid.

  The needle slipped from my hands. “What? Why?”

  “I know I should be supportive and see the glass half full and gaining a brother-in-law from my sister from another mister, but I don’t. I feel a little lost because you’ve got a life outside of me and this practice now. And I knew it would happen eventually—I kinda hoped it would be me doing the nesting thing first, but whatever.” She laughed again, not quite pulling it off. Her gaze dropped to our patient and her steady hands. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I love you, that’s all. And I miss you. Even though you’re standing right there.”

  It wasn’t protocol and I sure as well wouldn’t put up with it if it was anyone else but me and Polly, but I skirted around the operating table and hugged her. We stood there for a few seconds, leaning into each other before separating and returning to work.

  No words were needed. And concentration on something bigger than ourselves kept our thoughts centred and calm.

  Once we’d finished our task and sewed up the snow white Peke-A-Tese in companionable silence, we added gauze and placed a cone around the slowly rousing doggy’s head so she couldn’t get to the stitches.

  I sighed, rolling my shoulders as we washed our instruments. “I love you, Pol. And there will always be a place for you in my life—whether I marry this one or another or end up a spinster with piglets. And I’m not seeing Ryder tonight. Come around. We’ll have a sleep over like old times. We’ll get drunk, watch movies, and be single together.”

  Polly’s spine slouched in utter gratefulness. “You mean that? Truly?” It was her turn to drop her scalpel into disinfectant and squeeze me. “Thank you, Vessie. It’s been…well, I’ll tell you when we hang out tonight. But it’s been lonely without you.” Pecking my cheek, she helped me wheel our brand new puppy mummy into recovery.

  * * *

  That night, when the doorbell chimed, my heart leapt for an entirely different reason.

  It wasn’t because of Ryder or anticipation of kinky sexy time.

  It was because I’d missed my best friend.

  I’d been selfish for not giving her a second thought while I was in my love bubble with my sexy man.

  I’m a bad friend.

  But tonight, I would make up for it with sugar overload, awful viewing material, and juicy gossip. I would fully break the rules of secrecy about what Ryder and I had been up to in the bedroom if it made her feel better.

  Opening the door, I squealed, letting my inner wild child come out. “Girl’s unite!”

  “You’re such a dork.” Polly stood with her arms full of blankets, pillows, and junk food. “Get me inside before your neighbours think I’m moving in and increase your rent.”

  Taking some of her hoard, I skipped into the lounge and threw the lot onto the couch. I’d already pushed aside the coffee table and rolled out a few yoga mats onto the carpet so we could lie down and Netflix for hours.

  Last night, the thought of not spending the evening with Ryder had crushed me. Now, I was glad his brother was in town because it meant me and Polly had some quality time.

  However, while I bounced like a loon and headed into the kitchen to grab the overly buttered popcorn, fizzy bubbly, and a mix bag of sweeties that I could afford from the discount aisle, Polly sat heavily on the couch and grabbed Visa in a bear hug.

  Barb crawled over to her too, pampered and warm in her woolly jumper that I’d bought her when I was in the pet store with Ryder.

  “Pol…what is it?”

  Abandoning the snacks on the kitchen table, I dashed to her. Taking her hand, I pulled her into me while she buried her face into Visa’s marmalade scruff. Visa adored Polly. Sometimes more than I thought she loved me.

  Perhaps, I should let her take her home.

  She needed a pet. I kept telling her that but in all years together she’d not once got a little soul to cuddle. She said she would love that little animal too damn much and when the inevitable came to say goodbye, it would destroy her.

  I got that—knowing we’d outlive a beloved pet was hard. But weren’t the happy memories worth it?

  “Pol, talk to me. You’re scaring me.”

  “Sorry, Vessie. I just…I’ve been bottling this up at work for so long that I just need to get it out.” She looked up, her lips pursed. I didn’t know if she was holding back laughter or tears. “Can I blurt it out so we can move on and have a good night and forget I ever said anything?” She rested her head on my shoulder. “Can you be my agony aunt, Ves?”

  My mind ran wild.

  What was it that she wanted to talk to me about? Had she had enough of working together? Did she want to trade me in for another bestie?

  What?

  “I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” My heart raced. “You’re scaring me, though. Are you okay?”

  Thoughts of her being diagnosed with something, or hurt, or homeless, or all manner of things filled my head. Then the guilt squatted and took a dump right in my chest with pressure and remorse. I’d become so wrapped up in myself, I hadn’t even thought to ask how her life outside Tales of Tails was faring.

  Twisting to face her, I kept hold of her hand while she hugged Visa. “You can tell me anything. And I’ll do everything I can to make it better.”

  My phone decided to cock-a-doodle-doo at me, vibrating on the couch where I’d thrown it. I looked down, too disciplined with work and emergencies to ignore it. I was the vet on call tonight.

  However, it wasn’t a call out. It was Ryder.

  My heart flipped to answer it.

  But common decency made me put it on silent and ignore the call.

  He would understand.

  Polly was my first priority tonight.

  She narrowed her eyes as if expecting me to pick up. When I didn’t, her face contorted with a torrent of confession. “When you slept with Ryder that first time, I knew something had changed. I saw how happy you were and I was ecstatic for you. You’ve been on your own for so long. Your parents are jerks and I always wanted you to be loved like I loved you. So I wanted to give you space. I wanted you to feel like you could move on with him without worrying about me.”

  When she didn’t continue, I encouraged. “And you were the best in giving that support.”

  She sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured to split your time with me, so I decided to put myself out there.” She gulped. “I went back on that dating website. I made a new profile. I met someone. I wasn’t stupid, and we chatted a bit at first then I arranged a public date. Seeing as this is such a small town, I had to drive two hours to meet him as there was no one close by.”

  Her eyes glazed, taking a trip back to the past. “When I got there, he was sweet. We made small talk. We ordered. It was going okay. But then…something happened.”

  My heart sprang out of my chest and scurried to hide because as a woman—as her best friend—I already
knew where this was going.

  “Oh no, Pol. No.” Tears pricked my eyes. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” I clutched her hand. “Did he—did he rape you?”

  Her lips thinned; her body shuddered.

  Then she exploded with cackles. “I love you for leaping to the worst. You should see your face—you’re ready to murder someone.”

  Temper raced through my blood. “Damn right, I’m ready to murder someone. If anyone touched you wrong. Bang, he’d be dead.” I mimicked firing a gun with my thumb and forefinger. “So, what happened? Why the hell are you laughing? Is this one of those things where you’ve repressed the bad and become hysterical?”

  My mind tripped over itself, trying to remember what to do in cases such as these. We’d had rape rallies at university. What to do. What doctor to see. What police report to fill out. I’d hoped to God none of us needed to know such awful information.

  However, Polly was scaring me.

  What the hell happened?

  She patted my hand that’d curled into a fist. “It was awful, Ves. Dating is the worst.”

  “Wait…what?” My heart rate slowly stopped pretending it was a pile driver trying to pulverise my ribs and paused. “Spit it out. You’re annoying me.”

  She laughed again. “You’re adorable.”

  “You’re being a douche.”

  “Okay, okay. I didn’t want to moan because you’ve found the most perfect male specimen in history. I didn’t want to share my disaster in case I sounded jealous.”

  I relaxed a smidgen. “Go on.”

  She sighed dramatically. “Oh, God, Ves. It was terrible. He was good looking enough, charming enough. We’d got along okay online. There were no glitter-cannons or party poppers when we met but I was happy to give him a chance, you know?”

  “That’s what getting wet in the dating pool requires.”

  “Exactly.” She nodded importantly. “So, I figured if Ves can overlook Ryder being a jerk and his bossy commands at the start, I can look past the occasional burp or finger clicking at the waitress.”

  “He did that. Wow, that’s rude.”

  She agreed, “I know, right. Very rude. Anywho, there we were—food ordered and waiting, trying to keep small talk going while our dinner arrived. When it did arrive, that’s when things got weird.”