Works of E F Benson

by E. F. Benson

  Indeed, the more she thought of it, the more convenient did it appear that Mr. Alington should have made this little mistake, and that she should have noticed it. And, after all, perhaps it would save trouble that Alice should have noticed it too, for in all probability it would be necessary to make Alington play again and watch him. For this she must have some accomplice, and as Jack was not to come into the affair at all, there really was no better accomplice to have than Alice. To lay this trap for the bland financier did not seem to Kit to be in any way a discreditable proceeding. She put it to herself that, if a man cheated, he ought not to be allowed to play cards and win his friends’ money, and that it was in justice to him that it was necessary to verify the suspicion. But that it was a low and loathsome thing to ask a man as a friend to play cards in order to see whether he cheated or not did not present itself to her. Her mind — after all, it is a question of taste — was not constructed in such a way as to be able to understand this point of view, and she was not hide-bound or pedantic in her idea of the obligation entailed by hospitality. To cheat at cards was an impossible habit, it would not do in the least; for a rich man to cheat at cards was inexplicable. Indeed, it would not be too much to say that Kit was really shocked at the latter.

  In the course of an hour came an answer from Lady Haslemere. She was unavoidably out till two, but if Kit would come to lunch then she would be at home. Haslemere and Tom were both out, and they could be alone.

  Kit always found Alice Haslemere excellent company, and during lunch they blackened the reputations of their more intimate friends with all the mastery of custom, and a firm though gentle touch. Like some deductive detective of unreadable fiction, Kit could most plausibly argue guilt from cigarette ashes, muddy boots, cups of tea — anything, in fact, wholly innocent in itself. But luckier than he, she had not got to wrest verdicts from reluctant juries, but only to convince Lady Haslemere, which was a far lighter task, as she could without the slightest effort believe anything bad of anybody. Kit, moreover, was a perfect genius at innuendo; it was one of the greatest charms of her conversation.

  After lunch they sat in the card-room and smoked gold-tipped, opium-tainted cigarettes, and when the servants had brought coffee and left them, Kit went straight to the point, and asked Alice whether she had seen anything irregular as they played baccarat the night before.

  Lady Haslemere took a sip of coffee and lit another cigarette; she intended to enjoy herself very much.

  “You mean the Australian,” she said. “Well, I had suspicions; that is to say, last night I felt certain. It is so easy to feel certain about that sort of thing when one is losing.”

  Kit laughed a sympathetic laugh.

  “It is a bore, losing,” she said. “If there is one thing I dislike more than winning other people’s money, it is losing my own. And the certainty of last night is still a suspicion to-day?”

  “Ye-es. But you know a man may mean to stake, and yet not put the counters quite clear of that dear little chalk line. I am sure, in any case, that Tom saw nothing, because I threw a hint at him this morning, which he would have understood if he had seen anything.”

  “Oh, Tom never sees anything,” said Kit; “he is like Jack.”

  Lady Haslemere’s natural conclusion was that Jack had not seen anything either, and for the moment Kit was saved from a more direct misstatement. Not that she had any prudish horror of misstatements, but it was idle to make one unless it was necessary; it is silly to earn a reputation for habitual prevarication. Lies are like drugs or stimulants, the more frequent use you make of them, the less effect they have, both on yourself and on other people.

  “Well, then, Kit,” continued Lady Haslemere, “we have not yet got much to go on. You, Tom, Jack, and I are the only four people who could really have seen: Jack and I because we were sitting directly opposite Mr. Alington, you and Tom because you were sitting one on each side of him. And of us four, you alone really think that this — this unfortunate moral collapse, I think you called it, happened. And Jack is so sharp. I don’t at all agree that he never sees anything; there is nothing, rather, that he does not see. I attach as much weight to his seeing nothing as to anybody else seeing anything. You and I see things very quick, you know, dear,” she added with unusual candour.

  “Perhaps Jack was lighting a cigarette or something,” said Kit. “Indeed, now I come to think of it, I believe he was.”

  “Jack can see through cigarette smoke as well as most people,” remarked Alice. “But on the whole I agree with you, Kit; we cannot leave it as it is. I believe the recognised thing to do is to get him to play again and watch him.”

  “I believe so,” said Kit, with studied unconcern.

  Here she made a mistake; the unconcern was a little overdone, and it caused Lady Haslemere to look up quickly. At that moment it occurred to her for the first time that Kit was not being quite ingenuous.

  “But I don’t like doing that sort of thing,” she went on, throwing out a feeler.

  “But what else are we to do?” asked Kit, who since breakfast had evolved from her inner consciousness several admirable platitudes. “It is really not fair to Alington himself to leave it like this; to have lurking in one’s mind — one can’t help it — a suspicion against the man which may be quite erroneous. On the other hand, supposing it is not erroneous, supposing he did cheat, it is not fair on other people that he should be allowed to go on playing. He either did cheat or else he did not.”

  There was no gainsaying the common-sense of this, and Lady Haslemere was silent a moment.

  “Tell Jack,” she suggested at length, after racking her brains for something rather awkward to say.

  As a rule she and Kit were excellent friends, and treated each other with immense frankness; but Lady Haslemere this morning had a very distinct impression that Kit was keeping something back, which annoyed her. Doubtless it was something quite trivial and unimportant, but she herself did not relish being kept in the dark about anything by anybody. But Kit replied immediately.

  “I don’t see why we should tell anybody, Alice,” she said; “and poor dear Jack would pull his moustache off in his perplexity, if he were to know,” she added, with a fine touch of local colour. “In any case, the last thing we want is a scandal, for it never looks well to see in the papers that the ‘Marchioness of Conybeare, while entertaining a large baccarat party last night, detected one of her guests cheating. Her ladyship now lies in a precarious state.’ You know the sort of thing. Then follow the names of the guests. I hate the public press!” she observed with dignity.

  “Yes; it is like X rays,” observed Lady Haslemere; “and enables the curious public to see one’s bones. And however charming one may be, one’s bones are not fit for public inspection. Also the papers would put the name of one of the guests with dashes for vowels, and the excited reader would draw his conclusions. Really, the upper class is terribly ill-used. It is the whipping-boy of the nation. Supposing Smith and Jones had a baccarat-party, and Smith cheated, no one would care, not even Robinson.”

  Kit laughed.

  “That is just why I don’t want to tell anybody,” she said. “If three people are in a secret, the chances of it getting out are enormously greater than if only two are. Not that anyone tells it exactly; but the atmosphere gets impregnated with it. You know what happened before. One has to keep the windows open, so to speak, and let in plenty of fresh air, politics, and so on. Other people breathe the secret.”

  “We can’t tackle the man alone,” said Alice.

  “Why not? A man always hates a scene, because a man is never any good at a scene; and, personally, I rather like them. I am at my best in a scene, dear; I really am ripping.”

  Again Lady Haslemere had a quite distinct sensation that Kit was keeping something back. She seemed to wish to prove her case against Alington, yet she did not want anybody else to know. It was puzzling why she desired a private handle against the man. Perhaps — Lady Haslemere thought she had an
inkling of the truth, and decided to take a shot at it.

  “Of course it would be awkward for Jack,” she observed negligently, “to be connected in business with this man, if it became known that he knew that Alington had cheated at baccarat.”

  Kit was off her guard.

  “That is just what he feels — what I feel,” she said.

  She made this barefaced correction with the most silken coolness; she neither hurried nor hesitated, but Lady Haslemere burst out laughing.

  “My dear Kit!” she said.

  Kit sat silent a moment, and then perfectly naturally she laughed too.

  “Oh, Alice,” she said, “how sharp you are! Really, dear, if I had been a man and had married you, we should have been King and Queen of England before you could say ‘knife.’ Indeed, it was very quick of you, because I didn’t correct myself at all badly. I was thinking I had carried my point, and so I got careless. Now I’ll apologize, dear, and I promise never to try to take you in again, partly because it’s no use, and partly because you owe me one. Jack does know, and he, at my request, left me to deal with it as if he didn’t. It would be very awkward for him if he knew, so to speak, officially. At present, you see, he has only his suspicions. He could not be certain any more than you or I. As you so sensibly said, dear, we have only suspicions. But now, Alice, let us leave Jack out of it. Don’t let him know that you know that he knows. Dear me, how complicated! You see, he would have to break with Alington if he knew.”

  Lady Haslemere laughed.

  “I suppose middle-class people would think us wicked?” she observed.

  “Probably; and it would be so middle-class of them,” said Kit. “That is the convenient thing about the middle class; they are never anything else. Now, there is no counting on the upper and lower class; at one time we both belong to the criminal class, at another we are both honest labourers. But the middle class preserves a perpetual monopoly of being shocked and thinking us wicked. And then it puts us in pillories and throws dirt. Such fun it must be, too, because it thinks we mind. So don’t let us have a scandal.”

  Lady Haslemere pursed her pretty mouth up, and blew an excellent smoke-ring. She was a good-humoured woman, and her detection of Kit took the sting out of the other’s attempted deception. She was quite pleased with herself.

  “Very well, I won’t tell him,” she said.

  “That’s a dear!” said Kit cordially; “and you must see that it would do no good to tell anybody else. Jack would have to break with him if it got about, and when a reduced marquis is really wanting to earn his livelihood it is cruel to discourage him. So let’s get Alington to play again, and watch him, you and I, like two cats. Then if we see him cheat again, we’ll ask him to lunch and tell him so, and make him sign a paper, and stamp it and seal it and swear it, to say he’ll never play again, amen.”

  Lady Haslemere rose.

  “The two conspirators swear silence, then,” she said. “But how awkward it will be, Kit, if anyone else notices it on this second occasion!”

  “Bluff it out!” said Kit. “You and I will deny seeing anything at all, and say the thing is absurd. Then we’ll tell this Alington that we know all about it, but that unless he misbehaves or plays again the incident will be clo-o-o-sed!”

  “I should be sorry to trust my money to that man,” said Alice.

  “Oh, there you make a mistake,” said Kit. “You are cautious in the wrong place, and I shouldn’t wonder if you joined us Carmelites before long. For some reason he thinks that Conybeare’s name is worth having on his ‘front page,’ as he calls it, and I am convinced he will give him his money’s worth. He may even give him more, especially as Jack hasn’t got any. He thinks Jack is very sharp, and he is quite right. You are very sharp, too, Alice, and so am I. How pleasant for us all, and how right we are to be friends! Dear me! if you, Jack, and I were enemies, we should soon make London too hot to hold any of us. As it is, the temperature is perfectly charming.”

  “And is this bounder going to make you and Jack very rich?” asked Lady Haslemere.

  “The bounder is going to do his best,” laughed Kit; “at least, Jack thinks so. But it would need a very persevering sort of bounder to make us rich for long together. Money is so restless; it is always flying about, and it so seldom flies in my direction.”

  “It has caught the habit from the world, perhaps,” said Alice.

  “I dare say. Certainly we are always flying about, and it is so tiresome having to pay ready money at booking-offices. Jack quite forgot the other day when we were going to Sandown, and he told the booking-office man to put it down to him, which he barbarously refused to do.”

  “How unreasonable, dear!”

  “Wasn’t it? I’d give a lot to be able to run up a bill with railway companies. Dear me, it’s after three! I must fly. There’s a bazaar for the prevention of something or the propagation of something at Knightsbridge, and I am going to support Princess Frederick, who is going to open it, and eat a large tea. How they eat, those people! We are always propagating or preventing, and one can’t cancel them against each other, because one wants to propagate exactly those things one wants not to prevent.”

  “What are you going to propagate to-day?”

  “I forget. I believe it is the anti-propagation of prevention in general. Do you go to the Hungarian ball to-night? Yes? We shall meet then. Au revoir!”

  “You are so full of good works, Kit,” said Lady Haslemere, with no touch of regret in her tone.

  Kit laughed loudly.

  “Yes, isn’t it sweet of me?” she said. “Really, bazaars are an excellent policy, as good as honesty. And they tell so much more. If you have been to a bazaar it is put in the papers, whereas they don’t put it in the papers if you have been honest. I often have. Bazaars are soon over, too, and you feel afterwards as if you’d earned your ball, just as you feel you’ve earned your dinner after bicycling.”

  Kit rustled pleasantly downstairs, leaving Alice in the card-room where they had talked. That lady had as keen a scent for money as Kit herself, and evidently if Kit denied herself the pleasure of causing a scandal over this cheating at baccarat (a piquant subject), she must have a strong reason for doing so. She wanted, so Lady Haslemere reasoned, to have Alington under her very private thumb, not, so she concluded, to get anything definite out of him, for blackmail was not in Kit’s line, but as a precautionary measure. She followed her train of thought with admirable lucidity, and came to the very sensible conclusion that the interest that the Conybeares had in Alington was large. Indeed, taking into consideration the utter want of cash in the Conybeare establishment, it must be immense; for neither of them would have considered anything less than a fair settled income or a very large sum of money worth trying for. This being the case, she wished to have a hand in it, too.

  Tom, she knew, had been approached by Mr. Alington and Jack on the subject of his becoming a director, and she determined to persuade him to do so. At present he had not decided. Anyhow, to win money out of mines was fully as respectable as to lose it at cards, and much more profitable. Besides, the daily papers might become interesting if it was a personal matter whether Bonanzas were up or Rands down. Tom had a large interest as it was in Robinsons — whatever they were, and they sounded vulgar but rich — and she had occasionally read the reports of the money market from his financial paper, as an idle person may spell out words in some unknown language. The “ursine operators,” “bulls,” “flatness,” “tightness,” “realizations” — how interesting all these terms would become if they applied to one’s own money! She had often noticed that the political outlook affected the money market, and during the Fashoda time Tom had been like a bear with a sore head. To know something about politics, to have, as she had, a Conservative leader ready to whisper to her things that were not officially supposed to be whispered, would evidently be an advantage if you had an interest in prices. And the demon of speculation made his introductory bow to her.

  It
is difficult for those who dwell on the level lands of sanity to understand the peaks and valleys of mania. To fully estimate the intolerable depression which ensues on the conviction that you have a glass leg, or the secret majesty which accompanies the belief that one is Charles I., is impossible to anyone who does not know the heights and depths to which such creeds conduct the holder. But the mania for speculation — as surely a madness as either of these — is easier of comprehension. Only common-sense of the crudest kind is required; if it is supposed that your country is on the verge of war, and you happen to know for certain that reassuring events will be made public to-morrow, it is a corollary to invest all you can lay hands on in the sunken consols in the certainty of a rise to-morrow. This is as simple as A B C, and your gains are only limited by the amount that you can invest. A step further and you have before you the enchanting plan of not paying for what you buy at all. Buy merely. Consols (of this you must be sure) will rise before next settling-day, and before next settling-day sell. And thus the secret of not taking up shares is yours.