Illicit Affairs

by Dixon

  “That isn’t what happened!”

  “Isn’t it?”

  Ava felt like the steam fuelling her veins had finally run out as she slumped against the mirrored wall of the elevator and hung her head.

  “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen. It just did,” Ava croaked, her eyes unable to lift from her feet. “I didn’t tell you because, of all the people, I cannot bear for my best friend to see me as I currently see myself…as a home-wrecking cunt.”

  Sam’s eyes widened along with the old couple as they gawked at Ava’s language. A moment of silence passed in the elevator as her friend gnawed on her bottom lip, deep in thought, before releasing an exasperated sigh and throwing her hands into the air.

  “C’mere, lass,” Sam huffed, stepping forward to wrap her arms around Ava as she gave an awkward smile towards the awwing couple in front of them.

  That was the thing about best friends; they never judged you for your fuckups in life, no matter how much of a mess you made. True friends were your ride or die and would take your secrets, flaws, and fuckups to the grave with them.

  “I’m so sorry, I wish I had just told you everything at the start,” Ava huffed as she sunk back into Sam’s bed wearing the matching onesie she kept at her house.

  “Well, aye, that would have been helpful!” Sam laughed, sitting next to Ava with her infamous llama mug poised at her lips. “We’ve known each other since we had to start wearing bras. You’re more than just a pal to me, we’re practically family, and you should know you can tell me anything. I’m not angry at you I’m just—”

  “Please don’t say you’re just disappointed,” Ava whined as she hid under the pillow.

  “No!” Sam laughed, grabbing the pillow off her. “I’m just annoyed that you lied to me in the first place, but I understand why you did. If I was in your shoes, I dare say I’d no have the backbone to fess up to my mate either.”

  “I know. I was just so ashamed because first of all, he’s my boss, and if Dad finds out I’m done for, and second of all, no matter Nate’s circumstance he is still married.” Ava let out a long-exhausted groan as she stared up at the ceiling and dragged her hands down her face.

  “So…just walk away then! There’s plenty mare dick in the sea!” Sam chuckled, jabbing Ava in the ribs and cursing when her tea spilt onto the bed sheets.

  “I wish it were as simple… I can’t explain it but every time I try to stop and walk away something just pulls me right back in as though I am somehow tethered to him. I see every red flag and still I choose to ignore them because when I’m with Nate I feel like I have all the missing puzzle pieces in my arms, but one wrong move and I drop them all. It is completely disconcerting to feel so secure and yet on the edge of losing everything at the same time.”

  Ava wished she could explain the difficulty of hiding her feelings for this man, how their delicate relationship fed off stolen glances, disguised touches, and secret encounters.

  “Holy fuck…” Sam gaped, ignoring the stain on her white linen sheets as she stared at the confused look on Ava’s face. “Ava, are you in love with him?”

  “What?!” Ava blurted, sitting upright and scoffing, “Of course I’m not!”

  “You bloody are, aren’t you?”

  “No!”

  “Ye ken yer blushing, aye?”

  “It’s just the tea, it’s hot!” Ava shot back as she pulled at the pillow.

  “You love him, don’t you?” Sam pressed, putting her mug down as the pair played tug of war with the pillow that Ava hid behind. The pillow finally snapped from Ava’s grip and she was able to see the tormented expression on Sam’s face. “Ye ken I hate to ask this, lass, but what are you going to do?”

  “There’s nothing I can do. In a week’s time he’s going back to America…back to his wife and back to his real life.” Ava pushed the words past the lump in her throat. “And I’ll simply fade away from his existence and prove to be nothing more than a very silly and very unfortunate mistake. We will forever remain oceans apart.”

  “Yup, and you’ll end up alone forever with spaniel ears for tits and surrounded by the cats that will one day eat ye,” Sam teased, the pair screaming as Ava shoved her friend out of bed, but in doing so, sent burning hot tea flying as Sam clattered to the floor with an almighty thump. “Oh my God, are ye alright?”

  “No! I just bloody burnt my—” Ava stopped, realising Sam wasn’t talking to her.

  “There’s been a fatality!” Sam’s head popped up from the side of the bed, the llama mug presented to Ava with one ear now missing. “Barry…his ear…” She pouted with a sniff before glaring at her friend. “What are you laughing at? It’s naw funny! He’s gonna be made fun of now by all the other mugs!”

  “You’re right,” Ava said, struggling to compose herself. “He’ll look like a right mug now.”

  “Dick,” Sam hissed.

  “Fanny,” Ava shot back.

  “Tit!”

  “Mug fucker.”

  “Husband fucker,” Sam blurted before immediately covering her mouth as Ava’s jaw dropped with her tongue in her cheek as she suppressed laughter. “Hey! Where are you going?”

  “I told you earlier, Nate is coming over tonight for dinner.” Ava chuckled as she began changing into her dress from the night prior.

  “What are you cooking?”

  “Steak,” she replied, struggling to pull the tight dress down over her stomach.

  “Hear that, Barry?” Sam said, earning an eye roll from her friend as she looked down at her mug while her tongue repeatedly prodded the inside of her cheek.

  Thirty-Four

  “Oh, fuck meeee!” Ava whined, standing in front of the hob as she stirred one pot only for the other to throw a tantrum. To add insult to serious injury, the door buzzer went meaning that Nate had arrived on time for their dinner date. “Bugger!” she squealed before buzzing him into the building.

  She was nowhere near ready considering her hair was still tossed up into a messy knot and she hadn’t yet changed out of her housework clothes—an unflattering baggy white tee sporting some elegant food splatters hung from her shoulders and her favourite pair of skinny jeans from three years ago were frayed at the thighs.

  “Hello…?” Nate called out in her hallway, his head peeking through the red door, fearing he had gotten the wrong apartment.

  “Just come in! I’m in the kitchen!”

  He sighed with relief as he heard Ava’s sweet voice which sounded a little flustered. A smirk lit up his face as he stepped inside the warmly lit apartment and paused to take his shoes off—a habit drummed into him by his mother.

  Following the melody of gentle guitar, he placed a bottle of wine down onto the table and stopped behind Ava with his jaw resting upon the floor as his eyes dropped to her perfect peach wrapped in tight denim.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be changing in a moment,” she said over her shoulder as she saw the horror on his face. “I lost track of time!” However, while she was turning the steaks over, giggles escaped her lips as she felt Nate stand directly behind her, his fingernails grazing up the backs of her thighs before his hands dipped into her rear pockets.

  “Don’t. I like the jeans…a lot.” He chuckled huskily with his lips skimming down the side of her neck as he palmed the sumptuous curve of her ass.

  “Nate, I’m attempting to cook dinner here,” she bubbled, her head automatically tilting to the side as she felt his teeth nip and tease at that spot below her ear that had a direct link to that spot between her thighs.

  “My apologies…” he whispered between the kisses planted across her exposed shoulder before moving back up to nibble upon her lobe. “Am I distracting you, ma’am?”

  Ava’s lashes fluttered as her heart trembled inside her chest. This man had a way of sending shivers down her spine that felt both hot and cold. He was a fever that left her needing to be fed.

  “Yes, now bugger off before I ruin dinner!” She laughed breathlessly, chewing dow
n on her lip to stop herself from caving and releasing the moan that was upon the tip of her tongue.

  However, Nate wasn’t taking no for an answer, his hands still in her jeans pockets as he abruptly spun her around and pinched her chin to focus her attention up on him.

  “Good,” he said in a gravelly tone with a dirty smile on his lips that pressed down against hers. His hazel orbs remained opened to witness her reaction, revelling in the way she melted into his kiss as her lips parted eagerly against his own. He tickled her upper lip, but upon feeling her bratty little tongue trying to force its way into his mouth, he abruptly pulled back.

  “What are you doing?” She gasped, her face paling as she watched Nate casually back away and begin to open random drawers in her kitchen.

  “What does it look like I’m doing, sweetheart?” he retorted plainly over his shoulder as he pulled out some cutlery.

  “Giving me a blue bean by the looks of it!” Ava ridiculed, huffing as she turned around to tend to the dinner again and trying to ignore the bemused noises Nate made as he set the dining table.

  Despite having spent the afternoon preparing a meal from scratch, Ava had barely eaten her dinner, her appetite much stronger for something else in the way of American cuisine.

  “This is nice,” Nate sighed, sinking back into her sofa as she sat upon the opposite end with her ankles crossed over his lap.

  “What? Drinking wine out of a regular wine glass instead of a coffee mug for a change?”

  “No.” He laughed, reaching forward to place his glass on the table. “This…just like…sitting on a sofa with you talking. It’s a luxury I don’t really get back home.”

  “Do you not spend any time with Natalia…” Saying her name out loud made Ava feel like the worst woman alive, as though she were betraying womankind.

  “Nope, not really. We’re passing ships in that house. She comes home, we sit at opposite ends of the table to eat, and then when we’re done, we go our separate ways.”

  “But that sounds absolutely miserable!”

  “It is! I haven’t heard Nat laugh since our wedding day and even then, I think she did it for the camera,” he sighed, his head falling back as he stared up at the ceiling. “It’s not like I haven’t spoken to her about all of this or even tried to make us more compatible. It’s just that each time I have, I am very bluntly told to suck it up and think of the bigger picture, the real incentive behind why we’re together. I’m told that we’re just simply happier apart than we are when we’re together.”

  “Oh, fucking hell that is tragic…” Ava huffed, sipping on her wine as she rubbed at her forehead.

  “Do you believe me?” Nate frowned, looking at her with his stomach in knots. He knew all she had to go on was his word and even that looked like a flimsy piece of paper considering the nature of his character when he was around her.

  “I honestly do but what I don’t understand is…if you’re both that unhappy…why stay together just for the sake of money and social status?” She watched as a pained look creased at Nate’s features and sent her stomach dropping. “I’m sorry, that’s really not my place to ask that considering I am ‘the other woman’ and all.”

  “Hey, no… don’t label yourself that,” Nate admonished as his hands subconsciously began rubbing her feet. “It’s easy for anyone on the outside looking in to label us whatever shitty thing they want to but they ain’t us…they don’t share the same emotions or struggles as we do and they sure as shit don’t understand that just because you aren’t alone doesn’t mean you aren’t crippled by loneliness on a daily basis.

  “Now, I ain’t tryna excuse my less-than-honourable actions here… I know that what I’m doing to Nat ain’t fair…but I have spent years of my life putting everyone else’s happiness before my own, so sometimes…you just can’t worry about whose feelings are gonna get hurt in the pursuit of your own happiness. A good life ain’t one without problems, Ava. A good life is one with good problems.” If there was one lesson learned for Nate, it was that a person in one month could make you feel what a person in one year could not because time meant nothing—character did.

  Ava felt as though a heavy weight had been sat upon her shoulders, staring at this man who was living in her own hell. He was the one thing she feared above all else: lonely.

  “So, you’ve never just Netflix and chilled with any of the long list of women that have thrown themselves at you?” she asked with a smirk, deciding to lighten the mood.

  “The list ain’t long!” he scoffed.

  “Oh, really?” Ava said dubiously with lowered brows. “What’s your number?”

  “My number?”

  “You know…the number of people you’ve been with.”

  “Oh, let’s see…” Nate’s thick brows pulled together as he stuck his tongue in his cheek and recalled his pitiful sex life that was mostly active during his college years. “Twenty-five-ish, give or take.”

  “Th-that’s it?” she asked, choking on her wine.

  “Why, is that bad?”

  “Not at all, I just presumed that the sexy, serious, and perfect Nathaniel Brooks would have more notches on his belt!”

  “I’m not as perfect as you think, sweetheart!” He laughed, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “Oh yeah? Show me one defect, Brooks,” Ava challenged, grinning as he sat upright.

  “Alright, see this tooth?” He pointed to one of his incisors. “Fake. Lost it tryna impress a girl at college.”

  “What, like in a fight?” Ava’s eyes widened like a drama-thirsty vampire.

  “No…more like me tryna bust open a beer cap with my tooth and then, pop!”

  “Oh my God, that is tragic!” she squealed, her hand covering her mouth as she burst out laughing so hard that gentle snorts left her nostrils. “You’re a closet dork!”

  “Yeah, well, never judge a book by its cover!” Nate laughed with her.

  “Mhm, a very tall, dark, and sexy book at that!”

  “Alright, alright, what’s your number?” Nate asked, taking her wine glass off of her before she ruined her sofa—that after all, was a very Ava thing to do. However, when her laughter fell short and she made a move to stand up, he gripped her ankles and pinned them down to his lap. “Oh, no you don’t. Spill!”

  “Do you promise not to judge me?”

  “Scout’s honour,” he swore, adoring the sweet blush on her cheeks and the adorable pout of her lip.

  Damn, I gotta bite that lip soon.

  “Well…I, uhm…kind of…lost count after…the hundred mark…?”

  “Hundred?!” Nate’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

  “Yeah okay, look, I know what you’re thinking,” Ava whined, pulling her knees up as she hid her face behind them. “‘Oh, what a slut, never been in a relationship in all her twenty-eight years, what a complete waste of a wom—’”

  “Actually, no, that’s not what I’m thinking at all,” Nate interrupted and reached across the sofa to pry her face away from her legs. “I’m thinking it’s kinda devastating that you’ve never been cherished by a man in the way that you deserve. At least…not until now.”

  Ava shyly met his eyes, and felt for the first time in her life as though her black-and-white heart was made to be coloured in his colours. She slowly crawled her way over to him, straddling his lap carefully as she cupped his face. In his embrace she felt so safe and at home.

  “We should really talk about our situation…” Nate whispered against her lips which were brushing against his own as his hands wandered up her white shirt and skimmed down her curvaceous figure.

  “Not right now…right now, I just…I need you closer.”

  Thirty-Five

  Monday had crept up on Ava before she had a chance to rationalise the predicament she was in. No matter how bitter the pill was going to be to swallow, she had to somehow approach Nate and end the affair before it was too late. She was already in far too deep with him.

/>   Tired and drained of motivation, she leaned forward in the staff kitchen and placed her lunch into the fridge. However, when a hand abruptly smacked across her behind, she shot upright with a sharp yelp as she whipped around to face the culprit.

  “Nate!” Ava swatted his arm, pointing a warning finger at the dark and mischievous smile he beamed down at her. “Have you lost your mind?” she hissed, pulling him aside away from the doorway that looked out onto the busy department. “Not at work!”

  “Good morning to you too, Ms. Archer.” He chuckled a husky noise by her ear, his breath tickling her helix and sending pleasurable shivers down her spine that she tried and failed to ignore. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you all weekend.” It was the truth. Even after their countless rounds of sex during the weekend, his brain refused to switch off from her.

  “That’s lovely,” Ava faltered as she was cornered up against the kitchen counter by him. “However, can we not do this here?” Her blues darted back and forth between the doorway and Nate’s earthy eyes that were turning into dark forests.

  “Did you miss me?” he asked as he placed two hands on either side of her onto the counter, boxing her into his embrace and obscuring the exit from her line of sight.

  “What?” She squinted up at his whimsical expression that held a genuine level of curiosity to it. “Yes, of course I did, but we should really talk later wh—”

  “I missed this.” Nate’s hands grasping her peach interrupted all words and thoughts as she sucked in a gasp of air. “God, do you have any idea how much I want to fuck you on this counter right now?” He felt recklessly out of control, caring not who would see this debase display between a boss and his assistant. His nose ran up along her carotid as he inhaled long and deep to savour her floral sweetness upon the back of his throat. It amazed him how her pheromones alone had the power to make his cock twitch inside his pants.

  Ava couldn’t resist temptation, her back arching as she pressed her stomach up against his grey blazer and silently cursed herself for choosing to wear her tailored suit and not a dress or skirt today. Excited breaths left her lips as she trailed her fingertips down his stomach over each button and then to the buckle of his belt until she finally felt his hard and aching need pushing against his zipper. It aroused her to no end the effect she had on him.