Light Freights

by W. W. Jacobs

  Of course, there is a deal of bullying done at sea at times," said thenight-watchman, thoughtfully. 'The men call it bullying an' the officerscall it discipline, but it's the same thing under another name. Still,it's fair in a way. It gets passed on from one to another. Everybodyaboard a'most has got somebody to bully, except, perhaps, the boy; he'as the worst of it, unless he can manage to get the ship's cat byitself occasionally.

  "I don't think sailor-men mind being bullied. I never 'eard of itsputting one off 'is feed yet, and that's the main thing, arter all'ssaid and done.

  "Fust officers are often worse than skippers. In the fust place, theyknow they ain't skippers, an' that alone is enough to put 'em in a badtemper, especially if they've 'ad their certifikit a good many years andcan't get a vacancy.

  "I remember, a good many years ago now, I was lying at Calcutta one timein the Peewit, as fine a barque as you'd wish to see, an' we 'ad a fustmate there as was a disgrace to 'is sects. A nasty, bullying, violentman, who used to call the hands names as they didn't know the meaningsof and what was no use looking in the dictionary for.

  "There was one chap aboard, Bill Cousins, as he used to make a partiklermark of. Bill 'ad the misfortin to 'ave red 'air, and the way the mateused to throw that in 'is face was disgraceful. Fortunately for us all,the skipper was a very decent sort of man, so that the mate was only at'is worst when he wasn't by.

  "We was sitting in the fo'c's'le at tea one arter-noon, when BillCousins came down, an' we see at once 'e'd 'ad a turn with the mate. Hesat all by hisself for some time simmering, an' then he broke out. 'Oneo' these days I'll swing for 'im; mark my words.'

  "'Don't be a fool, Bill,' ses Joe Smith.

  "'If I could on'y mark 'im,' ses Bill, catching his breath. 'Just mark'im fair an' square. If I could on'y 'ave 'im alone for ten minutes,with nobody standing by to see fair play. But, o' course, if I 'it 'imit's mutiny.'

  "'You couldn't do it if it wasn't, Bill,' ses Joe Smith again.

  "'He walks about the town as though the place belongs to 'im,' said TedHill. 'Most of us is satisfied to shove the niggers out o' the way, buthe ups fist and 'its 'em if they comes within a yard of 'im.'

  "'Why don't they 'it 'im back?' ses Bill. 'I would if I was them.'

  "Joe Smith grunted. 'Well, why don't you?' he asked.

  "''Cos I ain't a nigger,' ses Bill.

  "'Well, but you might be,' ses Joe, very softly. 'Black your face an''ands an' legs, and dress up in them cotton things, and go ashore andget in 'is way.'

  "'If you will, I will, Bill,' ses a chap called Bob Pullin.

  "Well, they talked it over and over, and at last Joe, who seemed to takea great interest in it, went ashore and got the duds for 'em. They was atight fit for Bill, Hindoos not being as wide as they might be, but Joesaid if 'e didn't bend about he'd be all right, and Pullin, who was asmaller man, said his was fust class.

  "After they were dressed, the next question was wot to use to colourthem with; coal was too scratchy, an' ink Bill didn't like. Then TedHill burnt a cork and started on Bill's nose with it afore it was cool,an' Bill didn't like that.

  "'Look 'ere,' ses the carpenter, 'nothin' seems to please you,Bill--it's my opinion you're backing out of it.'

  "'You're a liar,' ses Bill.

  "'Well, I've got some stuff in a can as might be boiled-down Hindoo forall you could tell to the difference,' ses the carpenter; 'and if you'llkeep that ugly mouth of yours shut, I'll paint you myself.'

  "Well, Bill was a bit flattered, the carpenter being a very superiorsort of a man, and quite an artist in 'is way, an' Bill sat down an' let'im do 'im with some stuff out of a can that made 'im look like a Hindoowhat 'ad been polished. Then Bob Pullin was done too, an' when they'dgot their turbins on, the change in their appearance was wonderful.

  "'Feels a bit stiff,' ses Bill, working 'is mouth.

  "'That'll wear off,' ses the carpenter; 'it wouldn't be you if youdidn't 'ave a grumble, Bill.'

  "'And mind and don't spare 'im, Bill,' ses Joe. 'There's two of you, an'if you only do wot's expected of you, the mate ought to 'ave a easy timeabed this v'y'ge.'

  "'Let the mate start fust,' ses Ted Hill. 'He's sure to start on you ifyou only get in 'is way. Lord, I'd like to see his face when you starton 'im.

  "Well, the two of 'em went ashore arter dark with the best wishes o' allon board, an' the rest of us sat down in the fo'c's'le spekerlating asto what sort o' time the mate was goin' to 'ave. He went ashore allright, because Ted Hill see 'im go, an' he noticed with partiklerpleasure as 'ow he was dressed very careful.

  "It must ha' been near eleven o'clock. I was sitting with Smith on theport side o' the galley, when we heard a 'ubbub approaching the ship. Itwas the mate just coming aboard. He was without 'is 'at; 'is necktie wastwisted round 'is ear, and 'is shirt and 'is collar was all torn toshreds. The second and third officers ran up to him to see what was thematter, and while he was telling them, up comes the skipper.

  "'You don't mean to tell me, Mr. Fingall,' ses the skipper, in surprise,'that you've been knocked about like that by them mild and meekHindoos?'

  "'Hindoos, sir?' roared the mate. 'Certainly not, sir. I've beenassaulted like this by five German sailor-men. And I licked 'em all.'

  "'I'm glad to hear that,' ses the skipper; and the second and third patsthe mate on the back, just like you pat a dog you don't know.

  "'Big fellows they was,' ses he, 'an' they give me some trouble. Look atmy eye!'

  "The second officer struck a match and looked at it, and it cert'n'y wasa beauty.

  "'I hope you reported this at the police station?' ses the skipper.

  "'No, sir,' ses the mate, holding up 'is 'ead. 'I don't want no p'liceto protect me. Five's a large number, but I drove 'em off, and I don'tthink they'll meddle with any British fust officers again.'

  "'You'd better turn in,' ses the second, leading him off by the arm.

  "The mate limped off with him, and as soon as the coast was clear we putour 'eads together and tried to make out how it was that Bill Cousinsand Bob 'ad changed themselves into five German sailor-men.

  "'It's the mate's pride,' ses the carpenter. 'He didn't like beingknocked about by Hindoos.'

  "We thought it was that, but we had to wait nearly another hour aforethe two came aboard, to make sure. There was a difference in the waythey came aboard, too, from that of the mate. They didn't make no noise,and the fust thing we knew of their coming aboard was seeing a bare,black foot waving feebly at the top of the fo'c's'le ladder feelin' forthe step.

  "That was Bob. He came down without a word, and then we see 'e washolding another black foot and guiding it to where it should go. Thatwas Bill, an' of all the 'orrid, limp-looking blacks that you ever see,Bill was the worst when he got below. He just sat on a locker all of aheap and held 'is 'ead, which was swollen up, in 'is hands. Bob went andsat beside 'im, and there they sat, for all the world like two waxfiggers instead o' human beings.

  "'Well, you done it, Bill,' ses Joe, after waiting a long time for themto speak. 'Tell us all about it.'

  "'Nothin' to tell,' ses Bill, very surly. 'We knocked 'im about.'

  "'And he knocked us about,' ses Bob, with a groan. 'I'm sore all over,and as for my feet--'

  "'Wot's the matter with them?' ses Joe.

  "'Trod on,' ses Bob, very short. 'If my bare feet was trod on once theywas a dozen times. I've never 'ad such a doing in all my life. He foughtlike a devil. I thought he'd ha' murdered Bill.'

  "'I wish 'e 'ad,' ses Bill, with a groan; 'my face is bruised and cutabout cruel. I can't bear to touch it.'

  "'Do you mean to say the two of you couldn't settle 'im?' ses Joe,staring.

  "'I mean to say we got a hiding,' ses Bill. 'We got close to him fuststart off and got our feet trod on. Arter that it was like fighting awindmill, with sledge-hammers for sails.'

  "He gave a groan and turned over in his bunk, and when we asked him somemore about it, he swore at us. They both seemed quite done up, and atlast they dro
pped off to sleep just as they was, without even stoppingto wash the black off or to undress themselves.

  "I was awoke rather early in the morning by the sounds of somebodytalking to themselves, and a little splashing of water. It seemed to goon a long while, and at last I leaned out of my bunk and see Billbending over a bucket and washing himself and using bad langwidge.

  "'Wot's the matter, Bill?' ses Joe, yawning and sitting up in bed.

  "'My skin's that tender, I can hardly touch it,' ses Bill, bending downand rinsing 'is face. 'Is it all orf?'

  "'Orf?' ses Joe; 'no, o' course it ain't. Why don't you use some soap?'

  "'Soap,' answers Bill, mad-like; 'why, I've used more soap than I'veused for six months in the ordinary way.'

  "That's no good,' ses Joe; 'give yourself a good wash.'

  "Bill put down the soap then very careful, and went over to 'im and toldhim all the dreadful things he'd do to him when he got strong agin, andthen Bob Pullin got out of his bunk an' 'ad a try on his face. Him an'Bill kept washing and then taking each other to the light and trying tobelieve it was coming off until they got sick of it, and then Bill, 'eup with his foot and capsized the bucket, and walked up and down thefo'c's'le raving.

  "'Well, the carpenter put it on,' ses a voice, 'make 'im take it orf.'

  "You wouldn't believe the job we 'ad to wake that man up. He wasn'tfairly woke till he was hauled out of 'is bunk an' set down oppositethem two pore black fellers an' told to make 'em white again.

  "'I don't believe as there's anything will touch it,' he says, at last.'I forgot all about that.'

  "'Do you mean to say,' bawls Bill, 'that we've got to be black all therest of our life?'

  "'Cert'nly not,' ses the carpenter, indignantly, 'it'll wear off intime; shaving every morning 'll 'elp it, I should say.'

  "'I'll get my razor now,' ses Bill, in a awful voice; 'don't let 'im go,Bob. I'll 'ack 'is head orf.'

  "He actually went off an' got his razor, but, o' course, we jumped outo' our bunks and got between 'em and told him plainly that it was not tobe, and then we set 'em down and tried everything we could think of,from butter and linseed oil to cold tea-leaves used as a poultice, andall it did was to make 'em shinier an' shinier.

  "'It's no good, I tell you,' ses the carpenter, 'it's the most lastingblack I know. If I told you how much that stuff is a can, you wouldn'tbelieve me.'

  "'Well, you're in it,' ses Bill, his voice all of a tremble; 'you doneit so as we could knock the mate about. Whatever's done to us'll be doneto you too.'

  "'I don't think turps'll touch it,' ses the carpenter, getting up, 'butwe'll 'ave a try.'

  "He went and fetched the can and poured some out on a bit o' rag andtold Bill to dab his face with it. Bill give a dab, and the next momenthe rushed over with a scream and buried his head in a shirt what Simmonswas wearing at the time and began to wipe his face with it. Then he leftthe flustered Simmons an' shoved another chap away from the bucket andburied his face in it and kicked and carried on like a madman. Then 'ejumped into his bunk again and buried 'is face in the clothes and rockedhisself and moaned as if he was dying.

  "'Don't you use it, Bob,' he ses, at last

  "''Tain't likely,' ses Bob. 'It's a good thing you tried it fust, Bill.'

  "''Ave they tried holy-stone?' ses a voice from a bunk.

  "'No, they ain't,' ses Bob, snappishly, 'and, what's more, they ain'tgoin' to.'

  "Both o' their tempers was so bad that we let the subject drop while wewas at breakfast. The orkard persition of affairs could no longer bedisregarded. Fust one chap threw out a 'int and then another, graduallygetting a little stronger and stronger, until Bill turned round in auncomfortable way and requested of us to leave off talking with ourmouths full and speak up like Englishmen wot we meant.

  "'You see, it's this way, Bill,' ses Joe, soft-like. 'As soon as themate sees you there'll be trouble for all of us.'

  "'For all of us,' repeats Bill, nodding.

  "'Whereas,' ses Joe, looking round for support, 'if we gets up a littlecollection for you and you should find it convenient to desart.'

  "''Ear, 'ear,' ses a lot o' voices. 'Bravo, Joe.'

  "'Oh, desart is it?' ses Bill; 'an' where are we goin' to desart to?'

  "'Well, that we leave to you,' ses Joe; 'there's many a shipshort-'anded as would be glad to pick up sich a couple of primesailor-men as you an' Bob.'

  "'Ah, an' wot about our black faces?' ses Bill, still in the samesneering, ungrateful sort o' voice.

  "'That can be got over,' ses Joe.

  "'Ow?' ses Bill and Bob together.

  "'Ship as nigger cooks,' ses Joe, slapping his knee and looking roundtriumphant.

  "It's no good trying to do some people a kindness. Joe was perfectlysincere, and nobody could say but wot it wasn't a good idea, but o'course Mr. Bill Cousins must consider hisself insulted, and I can onlysuppose that the trouble he'd gone through 'ad affected his brain.Likewise Bob Pullin's. Anyway, that's the only excuse I can make for'em. To cut a long story short, nobody 'ad any more breakfast, and notime to do anything until them two men was scrouged up in a corner an''eld there unable to move.

  "'I'd never 'ave done 'em,' ses the carpenter, arter it was all over,'if I'd know they was goin' to carry on like this. They wanted to bedone.'

  "The mate'll half murder 'em,' ses Ted Hill.

  "'He'll 'ave 'em sent to gaol, that's wot he'll do,' ses Smith. 'It's aserious matter to go ashore and commit assault and battery on the mate.'

  "'You're all in it,' ses the voice o' Bill from the floor. 'I'm going tomake a clean breast of it. Joe Smith put us up to it, the carpenterblacked us, and the others encouraged us.'

  "'Joe got the clothes for us,' ses Bob. 'I know the place he got 'emfrom, too.'

  "The ingratitude o' these two men was sich that at first we decided tohave no more to do with them, but better feelings prevailed, and we helda sort o' meeting to consider what was best to be done. An' everythingthat was suggested one o' them two voices from the floor found faultwith and wouldn't 'ave, and at last we 'ad to go up on deck with nothingdecided upon, except to swear 'ard and fast as we knew nothing about it.

  "The only advice we can give you,' ses Joe, looking back at 'em, 'is tostay down 'ere as long as you can.'

  "A'most the fust person we see on deck was the mate, an' a pretty sighthe was. He'd got a bandage round 'is left eye, and a black ring roundthe other. His nose was swelled and his lip cut, but the other officerswere making sich a fuss over 'im, that I think he rather gloried in itthan otherwise.

  "'Where's them other two 'ands?' he ses, by and by, glaring out of 'isblack eye.

  "'Down below, sir, I b'lieve,' ses the carpenter, all of a tremble.

  "'Go an' send 'em up,' ses the mate to Smith.

  "'Yessir,' ses Joe, without moving.

  "'Well, go on then,' roars the mate.

  "'They ain't over and above well, sir, this morning,' ses Joe.

  "'Send 'em up, confound you,' ses the mate, limping towards 'im.

  "Well, Joe give 'is shoulders a 'elpless sort o' shrug and walkedforward and bawled down the fo'c's'le.

  "'They're coming, sir,' he ses, walking bade to the mate just as theskipper came out of 'is cabin.

  "We all went on with our work as 'ard as we knew 'ow. The skipper wastalking to the mate about 'is injuries, and saying unkind things aboutGermans, when he give a sort of a shout and staggered back staring. Wejust looked round, and there was them two blackamoors coming slowlytowards us.

  "'Good heavens, Mr. Fingall,' ses the old man. 'What's this?'

  "I never see sich a look on any man's face as I saw on the mate's then.Three times 'e opened 'is mouth to speak, and shut it agin withoutsaying anything. The veins on 'is forehead swelled up tremendous and 'ischeeks was all blown out purple.

  "That's Bill Cousins's hair,' ses the skipper to himself. 'It's BillCousins's hair. It's Bill Cous--'

  "Bob walked up to him, with Bill lagging a little way behind, and thenhe stops
just in front of 'im and fetches up a sort o' little smile.

  "'Don't you make those faces at me, sir?' roars the skipper. 'What doyou mean by it? What have you been doing to yourselves?'

  "'Nothin', sir,' ses Bill, 'umbly; 'it was done to us.'

  "The carpenter, who was just going to cooper up a cask which 'ad starteda bit, shook like a leaf, and gave Bill a look that would ha' melted astone.

  "'Who did it?' ses the skipper.

  "'We've been the wictims of a cruel outrage, sir,' ses Bill, doing all'e could to avoid the mate's eye, which wouldn't be avoided.

  "'So I should think,' ses the skipper. 'You've been knocked about, too.'

  "'Yessir,' ses Bill, very respectful; 'me and Bob was ashore last night,sir, just for a quiet look round, when we was set on to by fivefurriners.'

  "'What?' ses the skipper; and I won't repeat what the mate said.

  "'We fought 'em as long as we could, sir,' ses Bill, 'then we was bothknocked senseless, and when we came to ourselves we was messed up likethis 'ere.'

  "What sort o' men were they?' asked the skipper, getting excited.

  "'Sailor-men, sir,' ses Bob, putting in his spoke. 'Dutchies or Germans,or something o' that sort.'

  "'Was there one tall man, with a fair beard,' ses the skipper, gettingmore and more excited.

  "'Yessir,' ses Bill, in a surprised sort o' voice.

  "'Same gang,' ses the skipper. 'Same gang as knocked Mr. Fingall about,you may depend upon it. Mr. Fingall, it's a mercy for you you didn't getyour face blacked too.'

  "I thought the mate would ha' burst. I can't understand how any mancould swell as he swelled without bursting.

  "'I don't believe a word of it,' he ses, at last.

  "'Why not?' ses the skipper, sharply.

  "'Well, I don't,' ses the mate, his voice trembling with passion. 'I'ave my reasons.'

  "'I s'pose you don't think these two poor fellows went and blackedthemselves for fun, do you?' ses the skipper.

  "The mate couldn't answer.

  "'And then went and knocked themselves about for more fun?' ses theskipper, very sarcastic.

  "The mate didn't answer. He looked round helpless like, and see thethird officer swopping glances with the second, and all the men lookingsly and amused, and I think if ever a man saw 'e was done 'e did at thatmoment.

  "He turned away and went below, and the skipper arter reading us all alittle lecture on getting into fights without reason, sent the two chapsbelow agin and told 'em to turn in and rest. He was so good to 'em allthe way 'ome, and took sich a interest in seeing 'em change from blackto brown and from light brown to spotted lemon, that the mate daren't donothing to them, but gave us their share of what he owed them, as wellas an extra dose of our own."

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