Glimpse: The Complete Trilogy

by Sara Jamieson

  ~~~~~~~~

  “You’re not touched,” she commented with confusion studying him as he stood.

  “Touched?” He asked.

  “By the grey,” she replied gesturing toward the fog that swirled on the outer edges of the clearing. “One of your kind hasn’t gotten this close since I was a little girl.”

  “You’re here,” he observed.

  “Of course I am,” she answered with a lilting laugh as she darted toward the trees. “Where else would I be?”

  Connor Ridley, Shadows Fall

  It was strange how something completely unplanned and unexpected could so easily become the new normal of your life. It was, Lia found herself reflecting at odd moments, not so very long ago that Connor had been a cherished memory and Kyle had been the nameless guy who worked the register at the comic book store. Now, they were both an active presence in her life (Kyle being more visibly present than Connor for obvious reasons). The carnations that had appeared for her at school on her birthday may have had no card attached, but she still knew from whence they came. Her thanks had been passed on via Kyle, and the return message of “what are big brothers for” had meant more to her than the flowers themselves.

  Then, there was Kyle. Kyle was so much a part of her new normal that he likely constituted being considered a habit or a routine. Wednesdays were always Kyle days. She lingered in the shop talking and joking and occasionally helping to restock shelves. It felt so normal that there were times that she forgot about the security guard parked on the bench. When Simon, Kyle’s boss, commented one day that she might as well be a new hire, she wasn’t entirely sure that he was joking.

  Kyle had even appeared at one of her track meets once. She had looked up and there he had been in the stands. She never had anyone who wasn’t an employee in the stands. He had managed to corner her after the meet was over just to say hi. The other girls had twittered and giggled and tried to pump information out of her for days.

  She had ignored Meredyth’s subtle and then not so subtle hints that she was displeased with the changes in her usual routine. Clearly, that hadn’t gone over well with Meredyth. She had come down hard on Lia one night after she had come home to find Kyle on one of his visits. He was a “distraction,” she needed to “focus” on her school life, they had to be careful of their image in the “public eye” for the sake of their dad’s career, and other myriad reasons were given for the decree from on high that there be no more interaction with Kyle.

  She hadn’t fought back at the time. She had allowed Meredyth to deliver her speech and left the room without comment. Kyle’s visits to the house ended, and she didn’t linger quite as long at the shop. Instead, she snuck (snuck being a relative term as she was fully aware that Meredyth knew exactly what she was doing) out and started spending time at Kyle’s apartment. She actually liked that new version of normal better than the one that had Kyle coming to her house. There was no pretense, no front to keep up at Kyle’s. She could sit on the living room sofa and do her homework and carry on conversations with Kyle (and sometimes with Anna and every once in a while with Connor). Kyle’s apartment felt like a home, and that was something that her house was lacking.

  It was nice, but it was confusing. There were times when she got lost in her head about where she fit in with the people who were the new normal in her life. Was she just the girl she was when she was doing chemistry homework on the McKees’ couch? Was she just the girl she was when she was letting her sister’s security staff think she was hanging out in the comic book store flirting with the clerk? And what was she to everyone else in turn? To Connor? To Anna? And especially to Kyle?

  What was real and what they were pretending sometimes got a little bit jumbled -- or it did for her. She was willing to admit to herself that she was too scared to check with any of the others to see if they ever suffered from the same confusion. She didn’t want it to be all pretend. She didn’t think that it was all pretend. She thought that Kyle really did like hanging out with her. She thought that they had actually become friends on top of being a pretty good team. She thought that Anna didn’t really mind when she asked her computer questions and that she wasn’t merely tolerating her presence in her home. She hoped that she and Connor were drifting back into familiarity and not just a convenient alliance. She hoped, but some days she wondered.

  Was it too depressing to think about that she didn’t question too hard because even if she was the only one who thought it was real, then it was still the best set of interpersonal relationships she had in her life?

  That was where everything stood on the day that she was informed upon her exit from school that Meredyth was expecting her in her office (the one at the WIS building, not the one in their house) as soon as possible. It was an unusual summons. Meredyth didn’t often seem to want her around her workplace. When she was invited, it was generally because Wyatt’s parents wanted her for some reason (usually because they were interested in going out for a “family” dinner). She wasn’t going to take time to wonder how Wyatt’s parents (who seemed to be perfectly nice, normal people) had managed to raise Wyatt (who Lia would not have quantified with the terms nice or normal). She had thought about it often enough to realize that she wasn’t going to come up with any satisfactory answers.

  She needed to focus on what it was that Meredyth wanted. It couldn’t be a night out with the Walshes. She always got sent home to change out of her school uniform for those. This had to be something purely Meredyth. Lia didn’t know what she would do if they were truly busted.

  She found herself standing in the doorway of Meredyth’s office in short order waiting for whatever it was that Meredyth was going to drop on her.

  “I didn’t want to do this,” Meredyth began in her I have told you and it is your own fault that you did not choose to listen tone (at least that was the way that Lia always defined that particular vocal inflection in her head). She hadn’t heard it directed at herself for a very long time. The last time she had heard it make an appearance Meredyth was in the midst of firing a personal assistant of their dad’s who had frequent difficulty remembering where it was she had written down phone messages.

  “If you would have listened to reason, then it wouldn’t have had to come to this,” her sister stated with something that she thought was supposed to sound like a sigh. Lia had to make a concerted effort to keep her eyes from rolling at the patronizing air that Meredyth was exuding. There were times when she wondered whether her sister was so wrapped up in all things Meredyth that she had legitimately forgotten that Lia was no longer two.

  “I hate hurting your feelings,” she continued. Lia might have been more likely to believe that assertion if Meredyth hadn’t been trying so hard to hide her pleased expression behind a facade of concern. For someone who had spent years lambasting her for her necklace chain fidgeting, Meredyth was displaying a particularly poor showing of following her own instructions about tells. Maybe she didn’t think it mattered since it was only the two of them.

  “I hate being the reason that you are upset, but you need to understand. Your behavior lately has been questionable at best, and you need to think long and hard about whether or not the cause of that behavior -- this boy -- is worth it. I think that you will find that he is not.” The thin layer covering the pleasure that she felt in delivering those words faded further with each syllable uttered.

  “You’re being cryptic; you know that, right?” Lia chose to respond. She would rather Meredyth simply spit out whatever it was that she was itching to tell her instead of indulging in the build.

  “Let me offer you some clarity,” Meredyth stated gesturing for her to be seated. Lia shook her head and crossed her arms. She was not going to sit across from her sister at her desk as if she was being interviewed for some sort of a position. If Meredyth had wanted the two of them to have some sort of heart to heart, then she should have chosen somewhere other than her pla
ce of business for it to take place. Meredyth stared at her for a moment as if she was dissecting the possible motivations behind Lia’s refusal to accede to her wishes. Lia wondered if the possibility that she merely didn’t want to even made an appearance on the mental list that Meredyth seemed to be compiling.

  “This McKee boy is playing you,” she finally said apparently deciding that her decoding of Lia’s motives could wait. She leaned forward as she finished the sentence almost as if she wanted to be closer for a better view of whatever reaction Lia was going to display. Lia wondered if she really saw that, or if it was just her imagination.

  “I’m guessing that you are going to offer some elaboration on that allegation?” Lia made sure that her tone remained even and her spine remained straight. Meredyth hadn’t lectured in vain all these years. She needed to know what it was that Meredyth thought that she knew. She wasn’t going to give anything away while she figured that out (not if she could help it).

  “Here,” the elaboration was apparently not going to be coming in a verbal form. Instead, Meredyth pulled a file folder from the top drawer of her desk and slid it, still closed, in Lia’s direction.

  “A file folder?” She felt her eyebrow lifting and let it happen. “Really? What are you having him tailed?” She waited a moment as if the words had been legitimately joking in nature. Then, she let herself look as if the thought was only suddenly occurring to her.

  “You’re not serious?” She waited the beat that she thought was reasonable to take Meredyth’s silence as an affirmation. “You had him investigated and followed? He’s a teenager I happen to like hanging out with; he’s not a criminal suspect.”

  She wasn’t sure if the twinge of outrage that she had let seep in was appropriate or not, but she decided that it didn’t matter. Meredyth didn’t have a basis for comparison; Lia hadn’t let her sister see her angry in a very long time. She might well be nailing the acting portion of this spying gig, or she might just be getting lucky because Meredyth was so unused to witnessing any emotion from her.

  “Just open the folder,” Meredyth told her. Lia didn’t move. They were in a stalemate. When Meredyth gave no indication of doing anything but staring at her and waiting, Lia decided to play the huffy teenager card. She stepped forward allowing an eye roll to happen (it seemed appropriate). She reached out and flipped open the folder. She didn’t move past what was on top.

  “I’m supposed to be upset about prom pictures?” She was pleased to no end that she managed to get the words out calmly. In reality, she really wanted to grin with relief. This was good. This was actually excellent. This meant that Meredyth was still thinking of her as a girl going through a rebellious teenager phase. She could work with that.

  “Don’t try to act nonchalant.” It was a flat out command. Lia didn’t think the bit of disappointment that she thought was present in Meredyth’s voice was in her imagination. Meredyth must have been expecting some teenage drama fireworks. She wasn’t going to get them.

  “Her name is Shelby Cross, and, as you can see, your boyfriend is obviously not appropriate boyfriend material.” She was looking expectant (as if those words were going to trigger some sort of a tantrum on Lia’s part).

  “I shudder to think how much money you spent on this, Meredyth.” That was actually the truth, but no, there were going to be no tantrums here -- not on her part anyway. If Meredyth felt like throwing one after this interview was over, then she wouldn’t be the one stopping her (she wouldn’t be sticking around to witness it either). “I could have saved you the trouble.”

  “Explain.” The word was tersely delivered. There was something bizarrely comforting about that. It signified Meredyth dropping her guard. She could remember a time when the constant masks and shuttering of the showing of feelings had not been present in their lives. She didn’t understand why Meredyth had chosen to make them so. She didn’t understand why Meredyth seemed to be going out of her way to try to hurt Connor. She didn’t understand a lot of things.

  “What makes you think I didn’t know?” The words came out more softly than they should have. Lia needed to not get lost in reflective thinking when she needed to be focusing on the conversation at hand. Meredyth didn’t look as if she was going to respond. She was merely looking at her -- waiting. She wondered if she had thrown her sister enough that she was speechless.

  “It was his prom, Meredyth,” she said with a sigh. “What was I supposed to say?” She took a deep breath and hoped that the words didn’t sound as if she was making them up on the spot (which she was). “Don’t go? Stay home and miss one of the milestones of your adolescence because I can’t go with you?”

  “You never asked to go.” Meredyth said dismissively as if that somehow negated her right to mention it now.

  “Why would I have?” She matched the dismissiveness. She also stepped back from the desk. It was her way of making clear that she had no interest in what was still sitting in view in the folder. “We both know you would have said no.”

  “Don’t presume to tell me what I would have said.” She wasn’t about to let Meredyth go down that road. They both knew very well what Meredyth would have said if she had asked. She wasn’t going to stand here and let her pretend to deny it.

  “You put a blanket ban on all things Kyle, Meredyth,” she interrupted. “I think this conversation pretty much affirms that we both know that I have not been and, by the way, will not be abiding by that directive.” She leveled a look at Meredyth that was supposed to convey that they both knew what was going on and that they might as well finally be open about it.

  “Slipping off for short visits, spending extra time in the comic book store, those are things that I can pull off,” she told her. “They are things that I know that I can get away with doing.” The look she was giving Meredyth was nothing short of a challenge, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from doing it. She didn’t know if it was too much. She didn’t have any experience with the proper dialogue and posturing of a rebellious teenager. That subject, oddly enough, hadn’t made the curriculum selection of her prep school.

  “Prom is a slightly bigger proposition,” she paused briefly and inspiration did strike. She wasn’t half bad at this thinking on her feet thing. “Even if I thought I had a chance of pulling off disappearing for that long, I wasn’t going to take a chance of a scene at Kyle’s school if I got busted. I wouldn’t chance embarrassing him that way.” She let the unspoken connotation linger -- that Meredyth wouldn’t have cared about anyone being embarrassed if she had decided to break up such an occasion.

  “I don’t like your attitude.” There was something in the way that the words were spoken that made Lia angry in a way that she knew even in the moment was completely out of proportion to the situation at hand.

  “I’m aware,” she retorted. Before she even realized they were coming, additional words were falling out of her mouth. “Are you aware that you are, in fact, not my mother?”

  There was a moment where the two of them just looked at each other. Lia wondering from where in her the words had come and Meredyth looking as if she wasn’t sure she had just heard what she had heard. Then, the moment broke.

  “Get out of this office,” Meredyth dismissed her turning back to the screen of her computer to make it clear that she had nothing further to say.