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The fact that she found herself sneaking into her sister’s office three days later wasn’t a coincidence. She knew that. She knew that she was angry. Nothing about what had been said the night of the engagement party had been mentioned amongst them. Chances were that Meredyth didn’t know. She didn’t know exactly how much Wyatt had been drinking that night, but she thought there was a solid chance that he didn’t have a very clear memory of the incident either. She didn’t find herself much caring.
That line that she had always decided to respect when it came to Meredyth’s privacy was out the window. Despite the fact that she knew that WIS’s overtures to RR had been officially declined, Meredyth and Wyatt had been disturbingly well pleased with themselves. Something wasn’t right about that. There was something important in Meredyth’s home office files. Wyatt’s reaction when he had thought she was looking through them was a clear indication that there was something to find.
She wasn’t lying to herself. She knew why she was doing this. She was flat out angry, and this was the only way she had of striking back. She hadn’t asked to be their burden, and she hadn’t asked for the now purple hand marks marring her shoulders.
She wasn’t, however, so angry that she was going to be careless. She wasn’t going to get caught. She supposed she couldn’t blame Wyatt for thinking she was so stupid that she would have let herself fall asleep in Meredyth’s office if she had been up to something. She had, after all, spent years letting them think that she wasn’t all that bright.
She made a careful mental note of just how everything was arranged. Then, she tackled the computer. Meredyth wasn’t going to be home for hours. No one else was going to be looking for her. She had plenty of time.
“Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.” She chanted the order to herself over and over again. If she focused on breathing, then she might make it out of Meredyth’s study without throwing up all over the floor. The point was to not get caught, and there was no way that she would be able to hide that.
“Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.” She returned to her chant. Thinking about the consequences of getting sick all over Meredyth’s carpet was not making the likelihood of said event any less likely. She needed to focus. She needed to cover her tracks. She needed to make sure that Meredyth wouldn’t be able to tell that she had been on the computer at all let alone what files she had been looking at while she had been on there. She had to be quiet; there wasn’t any member of the staff who wouldn’t rat her out if they knew where she was.
“Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.” She couldn’t think about what she had found. She couldn’t think about the words that she had just finished reading. That would be much easier if the words would stop swimming in front of her eyes. She still had to focus. Was she covered? Had she finished everything that she was supposed to do to hide her snooping? Yes. No. She had almost forgotten something. She had to focus -- not on what she had seen, but on what she needed to do. There. That was right. That should be everything. One more check.
“Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.” Shut off the computer. Don’t throw up. Make sure the desk looked the same. Put the chair back the way Meredyth had left it. Don’t throw up. Don’t think about the files. Don’t think about if Connor already knew. She could think later. She just needed to follow orders right now -- simple ones that distracted her from the nausea that she still hadn’t managed to shake.
Check the hallway. Wait. Wait. Clear. Get up the steps. Don’t stop, but don’t rush. Don’t do anything that will attract attention. Don’t be noticed. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. Forget breathing. She was in her room. She was safe. Everything was fine -- except it wasn’t, and it might never be again. Alone in her bathroom, unnoticed and unchallenged, she gave up her chant and let the nausea take over.
Glimpse: The Complete Trilogy Page 23