Vow of Honor (Vow Series Book 3)

by Emma Renshaw

  Dammit. He’s captivating me again.

  At one point, I'm so desperate for a tiny sliver of his attention, I call out his name. His shoulders tighten when he hears me. Slowly turning around, he walks toward me, only glancing my way for a second before stopping in front of me, but looking at the wall behind me. He’s close enough to touch, if I went on my tippy-toes, I could land my lips on his, although it feels like he’s a million miles away.

  "James," I whisper. I’m unsure of what I want to say, I just needed to say something, have his attention for a minute. My mind is racing. Should I apologize? Ask for a truce? Finally, I land on a lame attempt. "Can you show me the maneuvers to escape the chokehold?"

  James’s eyes finally rest on mine before flickering over my face and down my body. I start to ramble, wanting to keep him here. "To be honest, Savannah insisted that I take this class. I kind of wish she told me she wouldn't be teaching it tonight, but I'm sure she got busy. And she's pregnant. Pregnant. I bet that takes up a lot of energy. And I’ve heard women say something about pregnancy brain. Maybe she just forgot. Do you know why she's not here? I don't know why I need to take this class. I carry mace with me. I'll just spray it and run if I'm ever in a situation. I do live in a pretty safe area, though. I'm sure I'll be okay. I try to be aware of my surroundings. I don't know how good I am at actually keeping track of that. Maybe this class is a good idea, but in the moment, I might—"

  "Tatum."

  The one word is a warning to stop speaking immediately.

  "You talk. A lot." His hands are on his trim hips and his chest is rising and falling slowly. There’s a deep crease between his brows.

  "I know."

  One of his large hands scrubs down his face before resting on his neck, squeezing. There's a tick in his jaw from clenching his teeth. "This is good information to have. Next time, you should wait for Savannah to teach the class."

  I open my mouth to speak, to say I didn’t know she wouldn’t be here, but he shakes his head, walking away. His eyes don't meet mine for the rest of the class. He dismisses us without glancing at me. I'm not in his head.

  Rage ignites in my system. I asked him if he wanted me to skip going to the bar. He said it was okay. I'm friends with them now. I need these new friends. I'll avoid him when I can, but I'm not going to stop hanging out with Savannah, Harper, and Valerie. It's not easy making friends as an adult. I'm not letting him scare me away.

  I let one man control my thoughts for too long, I won’t allow myself to fall down that rabbit hole with James

  I rush out of the gym, feeling like I can't properly breathe until I'm in my car. My breaths sound wheezy and weak. From this moment on, things will remain strictly professional between us. If he's there when I'm with the girls, I'll ignore him. During PT, I won't say anything except instructions. This will work. If I take another class and he's teaching, I'll come a different day. Easy-peasy. Definitely don't let him touch me again. My brain doesn't function properly when that happens.

  I'll stop thinking about him. I have just over a day before our next appointment to get my ass in gear and on board with this new plan.

  Chapter 15

  James

  The sweet thwacking sound of gloves hitting pads surrounds me. Liam and Hudson are in one ring, and Kiernan and Roman are in the other. They're lightly sparring while I'm standing between the rings, wishing I was in the middle, pounding into something.

  "Thought you had PT on Thursdays," Hudson says, dodging a punch from Liam.

  "Nope," I mutter. It's a lie. I do have PT today. I'm not going. There’re only a few weeks left, I'll do it on my own. Use YouTube or some shit. Being around Tatum in that capacity is not working. She's infiltrated my life on too many different levels. Something’s got to give.

  Tatum may disagree, but I'm not a complete asshole. I noticed how much she needed the new friendships she formed with my friends. If I have to tolerate her there, that's about my limit. I've never been so attracted to someone that I also don't really like.

  "Yeah, Mondays and Thursdays are your days, right?" Kiernan says.

  "Nope," I say again, pulling my phone from my pocket. I have several missed calls from the clinic since I'm a no-show. I'll pay for the sessions, but I'm done going there and being in that close to her. Using someone else isn't an option, either. I'm so close to the finish line I can taste it.

  "I wouldn't mind Tate being my physical therapist," Hudson says, smirking. “Oof.” A grin crosses my face when Liam decks him and he lands on his back. That's what he gets for losing focus in the ring and for trying to bait me.

  "I wouldn't mind, either," Kiernan says, laughing.

  The growl of frustration leaves my lips before I can stop it. I roll my shoulders while wiping my face of any expression. Letting these guys know how Tatum is affecting me is not my idea of a good time. Especially when I can't hop in the ring and settle it that way.

  Tatum hasn't left my mind since the other night's self-defense class. That's when I made my decision to create a distance between us. When we go out, she can sit with the girls, and I'll sit with Hudson and Kiernan. Or I won't go sometimes. I don't mind the solitude. Even though I'm quiet and observe, I enjoy the fuck out of my friends. Hanging with them is great, but I can't get caught up in what is happening with Tatum.

  She's everywhere. All the time. In just a matter of weeks, I've gone from never seeing her to seeing her everywhere. Even the grocery store in the middle of the night. Tatum in her kitten pajamas and crazy polar bear slippers appears in my mind. Fuck. She's cute. I've created a calm life for myself here. And here she comes, like a talkative hurricane shaking everything up.

  "Something is going on with you two," Roman says, resting against the ropes with Kiernan at his side. My head swings the other way, finding Liam and Hudson also leaning against the ropes. I thought men weren't supposed to gossip, but here they are waiting for any damn morsel of information I'm willing to share.

  "Nope," I say, walking toward the extra boxing equipment. I pick up the disinfectant bottle and a roll of paper towels, wiping it all down, even though it's already clean. I need my back to them, and I need to do something with my hands. Sitting idle for weeks is slowly killing me. I wonder if, while I do my own PT, I can start working in some light weights, just something to take the edge off.

  "I think our boy likes her," Hudson says. I can hear the smile in his voice. I don't turn around. Turning around would only confirm that she's in my head. Like. Like is not what I feel for Tatum. An intense irritation that I want to scratch off like a bad rash? That's more accurate. An insane desire to lay her out on my bed, in the boxing ring, any fucking flat surface, and explore her gorgeous body? Unfortunately, that's accurate, too.

  "Hate to break it to you, man, but I think Savannah is set on getting you two together. As soon as we walked out of the physical therapy room, she was plotting and planning. She probably has your wedding planned," Liam says.

  That does get me to look over my shoulder at him. He shrugs with a small smile that says, What are you going to do? My wife is cute.

  My mouth tightens in irritation and I bite my tongue, forcing myself to be silent. Liam thinks anything Savannah does is cute.

  Having a relationship will not work with my life. A short, sexual fling or a one-night stand is the only thing I can offer. I can't do feelings.

  I've been in Texas for a long time now, but I'm always prepared to run at a moment's notice. I have go-bags everywhere. I could pick up my life and leave from anywhere if I need to. It's been quiet for years, but that doesn't mean my safety is ensured. That could change in a minute. Entering into a relationship would jeopardize everything.

  "I'll talk to her," I mutter.

  "Good luck with that," Roman says. "Harper and Val have joined in on Savannah's crusade."

  "Fuck," I hiss, squeezing the back of my neck. It feels like a slab of concrete from the tension I have residing there. "Dammit."

  "I tried to tell Savan
nah to leave it alone, but she ignored me," Liam says.

  "Same with Harper," Roman says.

  I turn around, glaring at Hudson and Kiernan. "They're single. Get them to find someone for them."

  Hudson and Kiernan look at each other before cracking up. Neither one is ready to settle down, but they eventually want to. That makes them a better candidate than me. That's not a possibility with my life. Even if it were, it's not something I want.

  "Looks like someone's here for you," Roman says, tilting his head toward the door. I swing around to see Tatum stomping into the gym with a scowl, scanning the area until her angry eyes land on me.

  I release a breath, once again squeezing the tension in my neck and leaning my head toward my shoulder to stretch those muscles. Her hands are balled into little fists at her sides as she storms toward me. I finally walk toward her. "Tatum," I greet.

  "Tatum? Seriously? That's it?" she shrieks. "That's all you're going to say? What the hell, James? You freaking no-show on me?"

  Everyone in the gym stops what they’re doing to turn and stare at us.

  "Come on," I murmur, walking toward my office. I don't want an audience for this conversation. When I reach my office, I swing open the door, gesturing her inside. She glares while she passes me.

  "What the hell, James?" Her arms are held out to her sides as she stares at me.

  I close the door, leaning against it with my ankles crossed and my arms crossed over my chest. "I don't know what you want me to say."

  She laughs maniacally. "I've been fighting with you for weeks about your treatment plan. I've worked my ass off for our plan to get you back to where you want to be."

  "I know," I murmur, watching her pace from the couch on one end of the office to the desk on the other. One hand is on her forehead and the other is propped against a hip.

  "You can't do that, James. They're going to charge you for the appointment."

  "I don't care about that."

  She glances at me, shaking her head. "So, what? You're just done?"

  "I'm going to finish it myself."

  "Did you get a degree in physical therapy since the other day?"

  I shrug. I know my next answer will piss her off, but I just can't resist. "I'll YouTube it."

  "YouTube?"

  I lift my shoulder carelessly, keeping my smile in check.

  "YouTube?" she shrieks. "I thought you cared about what happens to your body."

  "I do,” I say uncrossing my arms and bringing them up behind my head.

  "Can you give me something besides these freaking short sentences?"

  I sigh, scrubbing a hand over the stubble on my jaw. She continues to talk.

  "A sigh? That's what you're going to give me? No. You know what? You can't do this, James. We had an agreement, and you're just going to stop showing up? You've worked too hard to get here. I don't even get why. What happened?"

  I can't believe she asked what happened. We both damn well know what happened. She's taking over my fucking life. She's everywhere.

  "I'm making a new plan, and we're going to stick to that. You want to do therapy here, we'll do it, but you're not watching freaking YouTube. How could you suggest that?"

  "Tatum," I say, but she keeps storming on, her pacing picking up speed. She hasn't stopped talking. I'm not even sure she's taken a breath since she started on this tirade. I try again. "Tatum."

  "You didn't show up. I worried about you. I didn't know if you got in an accident on the way or what happened. I waited and waited, just watching the freaking clock like a loser. I got stood up by my patient. I was seriously worried, James."

  I don't hear anything else after that. Her worry and care float through my head, filling my veins with adrenaline as I launch myself to her, catching her midstride and turning her to me. One of my hands weaves in her silky red hair, and the other uses her lower back to anchor her to me. My lips crash down on hers, as I walk her backward until she hits the wall.

  When I break our kiss, both of us are panting. We're panting and there wasn't even fucking tongue. Her hand comes up to her lips, and her wide blue eyes stare at me in shock.

  I pull my face away from her, my hands anchored on her body. "You never stop talking."

  Chapter 16

  Tatum

  He kissed me.

  He kissed me.

  James kissed me. James.

  I'm staring up at him, watching his eyes move across my face as he waits for me to respond. Did he just say he kissed me to shut me up? I feel like I should be offended. But I’m not. His hand slowly starts to move out of my hair.

  I don't want it to move, though.

  He only kissed me to shut me up. That kind of makes me mad.

  Oh, fuck it.

  I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as my lips land on his. His hand slides back into my hair, gripping the roots hard, almost in a painful way, but it all feels too good to be painful.

  I breathe in through my nose, inhaling the woodsy scent that's intoxicated me since our first physical therapy session. A small moan escapes me, and James uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. My nails scrape along the back of his head, causing him to groan.

  I break our kiss to glare up at him. "I don't like you," I say. His eyes move all around my face. As I feel him start to pull away, I make my demands. "Kiss me. Don't fucking stop."

  His melted steel gray eyes pool with lust and amusement. Desire burns in my veins, aching to get closer to him. "I don't like you much, either," he growls before we crash together again. His lips break away from mine to kiss down my neck, biting at my pulse point, keeping it just shy of painful. It's definitely going to leave a mark.

  "Yes," I hiss as his hand slides down to my ass, lifting me so I can wrap my legs around his waist. He crashes us even harder into the wall. I bite his lip in response, fury and lust mixing together, taking over every rational thought.

  Our kisses turn into bites as we rip at the other's clothes. His hand tugs at my hair, turning my head so he can control our kiss. His tongue plunders my mouth, and I use mine to battle with his, trying to take control from the angle he has me in.

  We break apart, staring at each other and breathing heavily. I don't think I've ever been this turned on. I feel his long, hard length pushing against the seam of my pants. He pulls on my hair again, making me moan, as he bucks his hips forward, rolling into me. My tongue slides along his neck. When he releases a deep rumble from his chest, I shiver from the sound. There's a small rip on the edge of his shirt where I've been tugging it at his neck. His T-shirt feels smooth under my hands as I slide them down his torso to reach the hem. I rip the shirt off over his head, leaning back into the wall to marvel at his expanse of muscle.

  "Take off your top," he demands, looking down at my puckered nipples showing through my shirt. I yank it over my head, flinging my bra off right after it, desperate to feel his hard chest against my soft one. Before I can make that contact and slide my nipples over his skin, he ducks his head, pulling one taut nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and running his teeth over the point.

  Weaving my fingers through his short hair, I tug and bring his lips back to mine. I suck hard on his lower lip, causing his hips to jerk. I quiver and grind my hips toward his, seeking the friction.

  "You're beautiful," he admits as he stares at my chest, his hand sliding from my hair and along the side of my neck, pressing the area where he bit me. His eyes land on mine again, possession evident, which sends a thrill through me straight to my core. I arch my back offering more of myself to him. When his eyes leave mine to look at my chest arched for him, a deep groan fills the room. I rake my finger nails down his abs watching each one contract under my touch.

  "Shut up," I groan, gliding my hand down his abs and pushing his shorts down as much as I can in this position. Before I can free him, James drops me to my feet, sinking to his knees in front of me. He looks up at me, watching me as he takes my shoes off my feet. One o
f his hands slides up the inside of my thigh, cupping my sex.

  "I can feel your heat through your pants, Tatum," he grumbles, leaning in toward the apex of my thighs. James rips my pants and panties down my legs, flinging them behind him. His fingers skim up my naked leg, pulling it over his shoulder. I moan when his lips are centimeters from where I'm aching for him.

  His breath brushes over my heated skin when he asks, "Is this okay?"

  I nod, shamelessly tilting my hips toward his mouth, but he backs away. "Say it, Tatum."

  "Yes."

  Before the word even escapes my lips, he nips the inside of my thigh, bringing a hand to my hip, pressing me into the wall at my back. I whimper with the sting of his bite, rocking my hips forward, searching for contact. He doesn't make me wait long before he starts devouring my pussy, furiously licking me, bringing me to the edge of orgasm in record time.

  Two of his fingers plunge into me as he sucks my clit into his mouth. His fingers fuck me fast, tapping the spot inside that drives me crazy. I look down at him, meeting his eyes. James pulls his fingers out and fucks me with his tongue while rubbing his thumb over my clit in slow circles. His hand caresses my skin as he moves around my waist to the back, squeezing my ass hard enough to leave a mark—he’s not letting me forget that this isn't making love. This isn't sex. It's not even regular fucking. It's hate fucking.

  And it's the best damn thing I've ever felt.

  My fingers wrap into his short hair, pulling hard and holding his face where I need him most. I can feel myself dripping all over him as I move my hips in sync with his tongue. My body fills with need each time his pleasure filled noises send vibrations through my body.

  I tumble over into an orgasm when he slaps my ass while sucking on my clit. His hands caress my body as he stands. I pull his shorts down, freeing his cock so I can wrap my hand around it. He growls, his head falling back and hips moving, fucking my fist. I lean forward, not stopping the momentum of my fist as I kiss and bite along his chest. His hand weaves into my hair and tugs when I bite along the edge of his nipple, regaining control.