by K. G. Reuss
Chapter 30
“That was incredible,” I sighed as Kellin helped me off Starfall later. It was well past nightfall when we returned to the castle. We’d spent hours out in the forest, playing with the small creatures and working on my wielding. Kellin had been silent on our ride home. I’d laid my head against his back and closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat as Starfall trotted along the road back to the palace.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” he replied softly, giving me an odd smile.
“Didn’t you?” I suddenly felt like I’d somehow done something wrong, and he didn’t want to tell me about it.
“I did,” he added quickly. “It’s just… Ana, what happened back there with the wolvens…” He ran his fingers through his thick, blond hair and looked away, seemingly trying to put words together. “Well, it’s unheard of.”
“What do you mean?”
“Wolvens aren’t known to be that way. All cute and lovable. I wanted to show them to you because they’re creatures of Winterset. I wanted you to get to know what’s out there. I never expected that to happen.”
“I don’t understand, Kellin.”
“How do I say this?” he murmured, staring down at me thoughtfully. “Wolvens are terrifying creatures.”
“What?” I laughed loudly.
“They aren’t cute little balls of fluff,” he continued. “I mean, they are, but they’re very protective and quite mean. In fact, I’m grateful the mother didn’t shift. They’re animal shifters. They can morph into something quite large and terrifying. I was worried it would happen, and I’d be forced to slay her and her cubs.”
“You-you’d have killed her?” I asked incredulously.
“I was beside myself with fear when you stepped out there. I thought you’d get us all toasted.”
“Kellin, you’re being ridiculous—”
“I swear it’s the truth. They’re fierce devils.” Kellin held up his hands in defeat as we walked upstairs to my chambers. “They can shift into fire breathing beasts at the drop of a hat. I’m assuming they felt the fire in your soul and thought of you as their kindred.”
“And what about you?” I challenged, trying to shoot down his theory. “You don’t have any fire in your soul.”
“On the contrary,” he said as we ambled down the hall. “You light the fire in my soul. You’re my flame.”
My cheeks heated furiously at his words.
“You really enjoyed yourself today?” Kellin asked after a moment.
“I really, truly did.”
“That makes me happy to hear,” Kellin said softly as we stopped at my door. “I’ve been worried about how you’re really doing. You hold a lot inside.”
“I’m doing better.” I nodded slowly. “It’s hard, but you’re making it easier. So thank you.”
“No need for thanks, Ana.” He reached out and thumbed my bottom lip gently.
“W-where do you stay when you’re here?” I cleared my throat, trying to shake away the feelings that kept cropping up—good, bad, and somewhere in the middle.
“I sleep just down the hall from you. Three doors, to be exact. You can find me there most times after dark.” He pointed.
“Good to know,” I murmured, nodding.
“I had fun, too,” he said suddenly. “You’re amazing, Ana. I still can’t get over the wolvens. We’re probably the only Fae in all of Winterset to be allowed to hold a wolven willingly.”
“I suppose we have a story to tell Soran now.” I grinned at him.
“Niall,” Soran called out, coming around the corner as if on que. “There you are. Father is requesting a meeting in the War Room. Your presence is needed.”
“Speak of the devil,” Kellin murmured and turned away from my brother to me. “Well, until tomorrow. Sleep tight, Ana. I’ll be dreaming of you tonight.” He leaned down and kissed me gently on the cheek before turning and sauntering down the hall with Soran.
I suddenly wished Kellin would be in my dreams instead of all the terrible things I kept seeing, Calix included.
That had to be progress. Regardless, a heavy feeling of guilt washed over me. I went into my room, silently praying for a dreamless night. At least then I wouldn’t feel so guilty.
Chapter 31
The next morning began like any other—only earlier—and I was grateful for the dreamless sleep I had. I showered, dressed, and made my way to the training grounds earlier than usual. I was relieved to find Tarek already there, waiting.
“Good morning,” he said as I approached. “Excited to see me?”
“Actually, I am,” I answered, giving him a genuine smile.
“Really?” His eyes widened, seemingly surprised at my answer.
“Really,” I replied. “I wanted to ask you about what you said the other night in the garden about the dead. What did you mean?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, sitting on a stump and sharpening his sword. “I was drinking. I tend to get a little philosophical when coupled with too many spirits—no pun intended, of course.”
“Tarek, you know something, don’t you?” I pressed, kneeling in front of him and placing my hand on his knee.
His movements stilled, and he looked at me. I gasped as I thought his eyes flashed to a deep brown color before turning back to their baby blue. I shook my head, sure I’d been seeing things. It happened so fast it couldn’t have even been possible.
“I know many things, Princess,” he said softly. “What exactly do you want to know?”
“You know what I want,” I answered.
“Do I? You don’t even know what you want,” he replied, studying me.
We both stared at each other in silence before he spoke again. “You seek altera. It’s the only way to be unbound from the Mortae. Do you understand what it would entail?”
“I need altera to give his blood willingly to me,” I breathed out, repeating what Soran had said.
“And?” Tarek pressed.
“And? I-I don’t know.”
“Princess,” Tarek scoffed. “For altera to happen—if there was even an altera out there—it requires a gift of blood for you. Think of it as a sacrifice, much like the one between you and the Mortae. But it also requires a gift from you. Binding is a two-way sacrifice. What else did your binding entail with the Mortae?”
“Um.” My face heated, and Tarek nodded knowingly.
“What kind of gift could you offer altera to complete the binding? Could you give yourself willingly to him in that way? In any way? Marrying Niall of Bornia would change nothing. You’ll still be imprisoned to the blood of Shadowmoore. If there was an altera, you'd have to bond with him. But that's a big IF. From what I hear, Calix was the last of the Shadowmoore line. Not to mention, Calix would have to willingly release you from your binding with him. You can lie with anyone you wish to right now, but it won’t matter. You can bed Prince Niall, marry him, and even mother his children, but it won’t break the bond you’re imprisoned by. One day, you may even fall in love with another. But, again, you still belong to the blood of Shadowmoore. So, I ask again, Princess, do you think you’ll be able to make such a huge sacrifice? Do you think you’ll be able to walk away from the memory of the man you love, be able to walk away from Niall—a man you’re starting to love, a man you already feel deeply for—all for the sake of breaking a binding, reconnecting with another, and potentially saving the world?”
“As if I have another choice—” I started, but Tarek shook his head at me.
“You always have a choice, Princess. You can choose to save the world, or you can choose to burn it to the ground.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say.” I frowned deeply, his words hitting too close to home.
“Well, to be fair, dear Princess, whether you see those choices as good, bad, or both, they are the choices. You just need to commit to one and go with it. Also, for clarification, I’ll need you to consider something for me.”
“What?”
; He sure made a compelling argument.
“If you have to willingly be given blood to unbind, how is it that you begin a binding? Have you ever thought about it?” He raised an eyebrow at me, coaxing me to think about it.
“I-I don’t understand—”
“Shh. Think, Princess. Think hard.”
I contemplated what he was asking, rolling every idea I could possibly roll around in my mind until I gave a sharp gasp and looked at him, my eyes wide.
“The drink. Calix gave me a drink in Earth Realm. I’ve been wondering what it was since I know it wasn’t honey rind. He said it was. He lied. It-it was blood, wasn’t it?” I covered my mouth horrified that he’d done such a thing to me. How could he?
What did it mean?
Did he ever love me or was it all part of his plan?
My stomach twisted into knots, and I swallowed back the bile biting my tongue.
“I expect it was mixed with something else, but yes. He probably started you out on it, hoping to strengthen your abilities in an attempt to help you. Seems logical. His blood would calm you. It would keep you in check, making it easier for a stronger compulsion. At the end, he finished the binding by giving you the remainder of the blood and making the sacrifice. I assure you it was well-thought out before it began. Perhaps he hadn’t intended on finishing the process, but in the end, he did as he was commanded—or wanted. Whichever.”
“Oh my God.” I sank back, my body trembling.
“Listen, Princess,” Tarek sighed, setting his sword aside.
He reached forward, and in another uncharacteristic gesture, he gently brushed his fingers against my face, his eyes flashing with an emotion I couldn’t place. There was a warmth to his touch I’d never experienced before, a feeling that traveled all the way to my toes. So much hope sparked in me.
“Calixto was under the control of Zaros. He knew what was at stake if he failed. Perhaps he just went with it, hoping to keep Zaros off his tail while he got to know you, while he tried to figure out another way. I don’t think he did it with ill-intentions. I don’t think he would’ve wanted to even finish the binding, but you went and jumped off that damn cliff leaving him with no choice.”
“How would you even know what he wanted?” I asked in a small voice, still feeling sick.
“I guess I wouldn’t.” Tarek sighed with a shrugged. “I’m only making assumptions. However, my question still stands—will you be able to make the choice if it’s presented to you?”
“I-I-yes,” I breathed out. “I would choose.”
“Then I may have just what you need in the coming days.”
Chapter 32
“You can’t say things like that and not explain yourself,” I snapped at Tarek as he whipped around me, his blade flashing in the sunlight.
We fought on the grounds, me keeping up with him rather well. I owed it to my frustration.
“What if I don’t have an explanation I feel like giving?” he asked lazily, grinning at me, teasing me.
“Or maybe you’re just talking out of your ass,” I retorted, grunting as our swords clanged together. “I think you know a lot more than you let on. Even Kellin thinks so.”
“Prince Niall?” Tarek laughed loudly, dodging my attack. “He’s just worried I’m going to steal you from him.” His sword met mine angrily, and we stared each other down, our faces inches apart, only our swords separating us.
“He has nothing to worry about,” I snarled, my eyes meeting his.
“Oh, on the contrary,” Tarek murmured, taking a step closer to me, his sword still in place against mine. “He does.”
I swallowed thickly, my hands now trembling. He’d never said anything close to that to me before. I lost my focus, and Tarek knocked me to the ground. We tumbled down together, and I wrestled him, kicking and punching wherever I could reach. Screw the swords and elements. I just wanted to claw his eyes out.
He finally pinned me to the ground, my hands above my head, his large body straddling mine. Slowly, he leaned down, making my heart race. His face gave away nothing, and then he whispered in my ear.
“It’s not really stealing when it’s not his to begin with.”
“Ugh. You don’t know what you’re talking about. And you’re not supposed to knock me down and then be on me,” I replied, my voice shaking. I was at a loss for words, for thoughts. Something was blossoming in my chest, and I didn’t like it. Something he seemed to have a bigger handle on than I did.
“I do want I want. I have more power here than you know. Then tell me to stop, Princess.” Tarek’s blue eyes swept my face quickly, searching for the answer, the question, the command.
But I had none. My mind was racing with crazy thoughts, my chest flooded with strange feelings I would never expect when faced with Tarek in this situation.
“You feel it, don’t you?” he breathed out. “Don’t deny it. It is as it must be.”
“Are you trying to compel me?” I growled angrily. It was the only reason I could think of for this strange attraction to him I was suddenly having.
“No,” he answered smoothly, honesty in his eyes. “Like I said, you aren’t really Kellin’s to begin with, and if we’re being brutally honest here, he isn’t yours either.”
“What do you mean?” I breathed out, frustrated Tarek wouldn’t give me a straight answer, frustrated by my feelings, frustrated I was in a position that I could burn my way out of but had decided I didn’t want to.
“He isn’t honest with you, Princess.” Tarek released one of my wrists and brushed his fingers across my cheek again, sending that warmth through my body, making my insides feel like Jell-O. “Ask him. Ask him what he hasn’t told you. When he finally answers, you won’t feel so bad about this moment. I promise. Now come. We can’t have your fiancé coming out here and finding us in such a compromising position. I daresay he’d be none too happy about it—again.”
Tarek pulled me to my feet and handed my sword back to me.
“Why don’t you just tell me what you know?” I whispered, letting the sword fall to the ground at our feet. “Why the games?”
“You’re the Oracle, Princess. Everything I know, you can know. You just have to want to see it. You just have to have the right desire for it. Ask the right questions. You haven’t yet. You’re close.” He was so close to me now.
My head felt fuzzy. I reached out for him and caught his arm as he turned away from me. I dragged him nearer, so our bodies were nearly flush.
“Who do I ask?” I pleaded, staring up into his beautiful eyes. “Please, Tarek. I’m begging you to help me. It’s your world too.” I reached out and touched his face, unsure of what guided my hand in such an intimate gesture.
His eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment as he absorbed my warmth, his thick dark lashes laying on his flawless skin.
“I trust you’ll keep it safe,” he murmured, opening his eyes, and leaning down to whisper in my ear as he pushed a loose strand of my hair behind my ear gently. “Prince Soran is coming with Prince Niall. Do your part in trying to figure out what I’ve said to you. Ask Prince Niall about what he’s hiding. Once you figure it out, we can move on from there. In fact, I daresay you’ll have to.”
I bit my bottom lip and sighed. Some strange turn of events just took place, and my head was spinning.
“Ana,” Kellin said, approaching us quickly.
I hadn’t even noticed him and Soran coming toward us even though Tarek had said it.
I stepped away from Tarek, confused, and looked to Kellin and Soran, feeling dazed.
“I-I need to go,” I murmured, clumsily stumbling past them.
“Hey, Ana,” Kellin said, catching my arm. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I just need to go,” I said, frowning. There was no way I’d be able to stay and work with Tarek after everything he’d just said and the sudden strange feelings I had about him.
“I’ll come with you. I wanted to show you something anyway,” Kellin said,
throwing a glance at Soran who nodded.
Tarek narrowed his eyes at us, and I grasped Kellin’s offered hand. We walked in silence for a few moments.
“Is everything OK?” he asked gently as he pulled me up on Starfall, who was waiting once we reached the stables. “You’re acting strangely.”
“I’m tired,” I murmured, not entirely lying.
“What was going on with you and Tarek?” Kellin asked, clearing his throat nervously after a brief moment of silence.
“Nothing,” I answered tensely. “Why would you think anything was going on?”
“It just looked like you two were in deep conversation with one another when you were standing there. It sort of felt like we were interrupting something.”
“It was nothing,” I mumbled. “He was just telling me that I need a different weapon. That the sword isn’t really for me.”
“I see,” Kellin answered, nudging Starfall forward as we passed through the palace gates.
We took a different path than before, and I started to relax at the freedom before us. I wasn’t completely disregarding Tarek’s words or what had happened. In fact, I was trying to figure out how best to ask Kellin about whatever he was hiding from me.
“Where are we going?” I asked, as Starfall trotted easily down a narrow trail through the forest.
“Some place you’ll love,” Kellin answered. “I promise.”
I leaned back against him, and his arm wound its way around my waist, holding me tightly to him as we rode along. My head rested against the top of his chest by his shoulder, and I closed my eyes, letting the warmth from his body flow through me. I wanted Kellin to be honest with me. I wanted to believe everything he said so badly that it hurt. What if Tarek was right and Kellin was hiding things from me? After Calix and the things he’d done, I wasn’t so sure I could handle more heartbreak or dishonesty. And what about the moment I’d had with Tarek? If possible, I felt so much more confusion.
I must have dozed off because later Kellin shook me gently, rousing me.
“Ana,” he murmured in my ear. “We’re here.”