The Difference

by C. D'Angelo

  And then there’s Grandpa. Good old, Salvatore. He gave me the greatest gift of all. He looked over me throughout my year’s passage and led me to our long lost family. He is still teaching and guiding me after all these years, still my hero.

  I think back now on how I was reminded by his signs that I will know, and know his spirit came through to me every time I needed him. He led me to a new life of fulfillment. I will always carry on his values, honor him in every way possible, and, of course, cherish the Italian way of life —love and kindness, food and drink, and family.

  Chapter 45

  It’s been a week since Brian left and I have been on my own in my homeland. What a wonderful choice I made to stay here. Pat on the back, Rachel. High five. Good going. But I’ll tell you about that more in a second.

  It’s the morning I’m leaving to go home and ugh, I have such mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I would love to live here in Genoa forever. Oh, how wonderful that would be, right? I could visit Great-Aunt Angeline and Teodora every day and would be able to say more than a few lines of Italian to people, But oh yeah, I’d gain three-hundred pounds from the delicious food.

  On the other hand, I already miss aspects of my life at home. You know, like the comfort of my cozy apartment with its perfect location in the big city that I love, the kids I work with and want to see keep progressing on their goals, and Maggie’s love life, close up and personal. I can’t experience that kind of madness across an ocean. So, as for today, I must leave this hotel room, get to the airport, and step on that plane destined for America, which is much easier than my Grandpa had it in 1912, so I can’t complain. I’ll make it safely across that ocean this April 14th and continue to live for both of us.

  I’ve had an epic breath of fresh air during this vacation in countless ways. Guess what? I ended up going to all the sites in Genoa that I wanted to see as a tourist. I even rode one of those donkeys at a basil farm; weird smells, slippery hills, and all. Taking the chance of embarrassment from my non-donkey riding skills was very un-Rachel like, so I had to do it!

  I want to push myself now, I’ve decided. I asked someone to take a picture of me at the shore, I ate alone in a bar, and I went up to a few strangers and tried out Italian sentences I never spoke or practiced beforehand. Yup, with my fear of being a fool quieted and overtaken with the drive to fully live, I did these outrageous things confidently. Okay, give me a break. I’ll build up to more danger. Like, um, wearing heels? Nah, I won’t go that far.

  Genoa has changed me. You read that right. But now actions like abstaining from heels is not because I’m afraid to be noticed, I just don’t care to be uncomfortable. That’s the beauty of what I’ve realized. I think people noticing me is a good thing now. I neverrrr thought I’d say this, but I even want my red hair to draw attention. I’m proud of being a Granza/Allegranza and I will stand tall like all of Grandpa’s family did in the past.

  I started a list of all of my lessons and connections that have come to me over this last year. I can’t believe where I started and where I am now with the weight of knowing my history lifted off of me. The mission of finding the answers about my grandpa’s immigrant past was a catalyst to get to the real need in my life, to gain fulfillment and knowledge of myself. I hoped my mission would provide a meaningful change…and it did. Writing this down allows me to feel even more accomplished and will be a reminder of my strength in times of need ahead.

  I know I still have a lot to learn, and know I’ll still be moody and difficult at times, but that’s part of me and that’s okay. I accept it. I’m not perfect and I’m not done changing as a new version of me. Strangely enough, I think it’s pretty exciting to have a little of the unknown now. I know, I know, you can’t believe what you are reading. Well, this is still me, just the new and improved edition.

  So, staying here this week has been a perfect bookend to my journey. Before I call for a cab, I’m leaving my bags with the front desk attendant and taking a tiny walk. I need it one last time on this trip in Genoa, my beautiful heritage city.

  The Italian morning air feeds my lungs as I stroll toward the coast. Finding a bench that overlooks the sea, I take a seat and give in to my urge. I need to make a list of goals that I want to achieve from this point forward. The water inspires me and my writing flows like its waves.

  Goals, aka Make Myself Proud List

  Write out details of the trip so I always remember- every single thing!

  Write letters to Great-Aunt Angeline and Teodora monthly

  Make sure family names are on Titanic passenger lists- worldwide, every source I can find

  Suck it up and be nicer to Dylan- try to get closer?

  Be more sociable- including making new friends somehow

  Integrate in true Italian ways of life- take hours to eat, enjoy life!

  I feel that part of my purpose moving forward has to include these goals. I know I’ll keep adding to them over time, but this is a good start. I like that I’m choosing to live a life of more connections, including my culture, family, and new friends I will make. I’m even hoping to have a better relationship with Dylan. That will take a lot of strength, but I’m willing to try. He’s my brother and it’s worth it.

  Also, I’m going to make my family publicly known as passengers on the Titanic. I decided it has to be done for their honor. Maybe their story will help others because I know it inspires me. The Granzas/Allegranzas are coming out of the shadows, and nothing can stop us now.

  Taking in my last looks of the gorgeous blue water, I read out loud, softly, from another page of my journal. My gratitude to this land needs to be recognized, so I wrote a few thoughts down last night. Here goes.

  Thank you, Italy.

  Thank you, Genoa.

  Thank you for leading me to you and showing me your vast beauty.

  Thank you for your history within me and my family. My roots are strong because of your fertile soil.

  Thank you for allowing me to experience your acceptance of me in your welcoming arms.

  Thank you for reminding me that sometimes we need to be in darkness to appreciate the light. You, Genoa, are light.

  Thank you for showing me I can be myself, always.

  Thank you for allowing me to find meaning in my life again.

  Thank you for the excitement my future now holds.

  Simply, thank you.

  Beathing in one last Genoese breath of air, I cry a single tear of joy and start on my path home. I’m a changed woman in so many ways. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

  Thank you for reading The Difference! I hope you loved it.

  Please consider leaving a review on your favorite website, including Goodreads. Reviews of even one word make all—wait for it—the difference.

  Acknowledgments

  This book was written by me but involved so many other people along its journey. The Difference would not exist if not for those listed on these pages. Thank you for supporting me every step along the way, for listening to and helping me sort out difficult circumstances, and for being true friends and family for life.

  Jason, my husband and most important person in my life, I am thankful for every second we have shared together. You have been through each day of my book process and deserve an award for all that you have dealt with since the start. Your reassurance when I had disappointments, your patience with me getting just the right photo for a social media post, hitting “like” on my daily posts, keeping our household running so I could continue to write, and being my listening ear and someone who I could always depend on for sound advice persisted through every writing/publishing challenge. Thank you for everything you’ve done and continue to do so I can continue to live this dream. I love you forever and a day.

  Christina Schad Ramos, you are an angel on earth, and my eternal Big Buddy. You know this book almost as well as I do for all the tim
es you’ve read it and assisted with the publishing process. You were a beta reader not once, but twice, read my query letter five million times, read my synopsis, my pitches, my back cover blurb, and offered countless bits of advice and your editing expertise. There is no way in the world this book would happen without your guidance. I am the luckiest lady for knowing you for over 20 years and you are my sister for life. I’m truly, madly, deeply thankful.

  Noelle Presby, my best friend for over 30 years. You came to my rescue multiple times with this book. You brought it to and from work for months to make sure you could beta read for me—I know it was heavy to carry around that old school huge stack of papers! Once done, you had unique advice for what to add to my manuscript and how to make the grammar and punctuation outstanding. When I needed to work through content editing suggestions, you were there to think outside the box and bring out your creative writing talents to help me find the best artistic solutions. Thanks for always being here with me through thick and thin. You’ll always will be my “Be Fri” and I’ll be your “st end.”

  Meredith Malkin, my art partner in crime and my final beta reader for this book. You were there from the start, when writing bonded us and made us friends. I’m extremely grateful for your love of artistic expression and how you were able to interpret meaning in my book and for my beloved characters. You “got” Rachel right away, which meant the world to me. She didn’t exist only in my head anymore. Your artist soul is in sync with mine and we will be APICs forever.

  Jennifer Maggiore, my other best friend for almost 30 years. You are someone who helped me through this wild ride with your cheerleading and problem solving, as well as your brilliant marketing mind, which I know I will continue to admire. Thank you for getting my pitch party business off the ground from my pitches for this book and more importantly for being my sister from another mister. Let’s celebrate with oysters, wine, and back up chocolate of course.

  Two people have been my necessary comic relief and the best listeners during this whole time, my cousin Katie D’Angelo and my Vern Yiset Perez. Thank you for being so invested in my book, believing in me, and for helping me to advocate for myself in tough circumstances. Katie, Beep Beep! Yiset, know what I mean?

  Jade Garneau-Fournier, my cousin and “top fan.” You are always one of the firsts to like my social media posts (goal achieved!), are there to allow me to vent when needed, understood my emotions during the draining adventure, and are hilarious to boot. I’m so grateful to have found you by chance in life and now will keep you close to my heart always. Cousins!

  Kim Geszvain, my cousin-in-law who should be my blood cousin! You were always right there to read anything needed, from my query letter to the back cover blurb, so that I could send out the best possible writing in the world. You also listened to my woes to the point that you probably felt like you were in the situation yourself! Thank you for every second of your caring heart and being a constant in my life. Thank God you and Jason spoke at that reunion, so I could gain a family member who’s like a sister.

  The publishing journey ended different than I expected, but began by receiving my first contract through #PitMad on Twitter. I had the opportunity to be “seen” more because of friends that signed on to retweet me, even if they rarely used that platform. I’ll never forget the part you had in my path to publishing. Thank you, Jenn, Noelle, Josh (#thankyou), Steven (always with the “n” for me), and the writing community. Everyone coming together to help each other touches my heart every single time on pitch party days.

  Speaking of the writing community, my gosh where do I start? You are the one group of people who understand every innuendo of this writing world and I never would be published without you. You are friends I’ve made along the way who have turned out to be much more than social media friends—you are friends for life.

  Ashley R. King, my twin! I am so unbelievably thankful for meeting you in the debut group and still can’t believe how much we have in common. You are the kindest soul, one of the greatest writers I know, and a true sister soulmate. Our daily chats are always a highlight for me, especially for the comic relief. I will never stop thanking you for your support through the journey of publishing. So, thank you for listening to the emotional roller coaster of this process and going above and beyond with assistance (I’ll never forget what you did for me!). I not only am appreciative for your writing support but support in life as well. My mantra is “Ashley’s the best!”

  Debbie Cromack, you are a constant encouragement, for writing and otherwise. Your positive spirit and motivation helped me through so many challenges and inspired me with a sense of peace that everything will work out. Our original deal worked (faces!) and brought us more than I ever fathomed, a bond for life. Thank you in particular for helping me switch gears in publishing. I could never have stayed on track without your advice and guidance. You made all the difference for me to meet my goal on my desired timeline. Now, let’s figure out those algorithms and the ever-changing platforms!

  Leah Dobrinska, the only other person who understands, from the inside, what it took to get this book published in its final act. I am thankful for your guidance and empathy through it all. I am also so glad we met and can continue to support each other in our publishing endeavors. We can only go up from here. Go team!

  Last but certainly not least, my Queens writing group; Catherine Matthews, Heather Carter, CJ Noble, Beth Weg, and Sarah Elynn. We have been through so much together over the years and I am forever in dept to your kindness, your insights, your advice, and your constant support. My days wouldn’t be the same without our daily random chats and each of your shining lights. Cat with your warmth and enduring sense of safety you exude, Heather with your vast life experience and fun facts that make me burst with laughter, CJ with your quick wit and endless energy to help out anyone in need, Beth with your one liners and calm presence, and Sarah with your extensive industry knowledge and protection for us Queens for any circumstance. We have a circle of trust that is rare in adult life and I’m thankful for it and for each of you.

  As you can see, I am blessed with many loving people in my life. The Italian way is that strangers come into your life and become friends, who then become family. It’s true, through and through. Thank you all and see you in the next book!

  About the Author

  Photo by Kavita Sawh

  C. D’Angelo is an Italian American author living in Winter Garden, Florida with her husband. She has been a psychotherapist for twenty years and began writing in 2013 to add to her many hobbies (playing ukulele, drawing, painting, crocheting, cross stitching, sewing, and any other craft available to try!). Soon writing became more than a hobby and now her passions and life experiences have made their way into her relatable stories of the Italian culture in women’s fiction. The Difference is her debut novel, and more stories are on the way.

  Find out all the details and connect with her on social media

  by visiting her website. www.CDAngeloAuthor.com

  Read her Behind the Scenes blog, get assistance for pitching with Pitch Party Prosperity, and sign up for her newsletter, where you’ll be first to know everything and receive freebies and more!

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