Call Me Jane

by Ryan Maitland

  Waiting for the bus was nerve-wracking. Part of me was convinced that the guy at the counter had taken my money and had called the police. If the police came, they’d take me back to Jack and Billi and then my life would be over. I’d never see daylight again. I imagined that if I was lucky, my death would be quick and that I wouldn’t come back as a ghost, but I suspected my death would be a lingering death of starvation and I’d be anchored to Jack or Billi for all eternity.

  Breathe, Jane. You just need to get to Florida, win the money, and then everything will be easier.

  I was tired, but also terrified. This is not a healthy combination.

  I nearly screamed when the announcement finally came.

  “Bus five-nineteen to Oklahoma City has arrived and is now boarding,” came the announcement. “Those leaving for Oklahoma City to transfer to other buses should board now. Please make your way to the marked exits at the back of the building to board.”

  I got up from my seat and made my way as instructed, showing my ticket to the driver, who passed it through a scanner and handed it back to me before motioning with his head to take a seat.

  Unlike the waiting area, the bus was not empty. There were a few people, some sitting next to each other, but most not, and they all looked weary, like they had been up longer than they wished.

  I could relate.

  I found a seat by myself and waited. This seat was more comfortable than the ones in the waiting area. It was larger and was actually padded. I was thin enough that I could bring my knees up to my chest. I was close to hyperventilating from terror and felt the need to fold up into as small a space as possible. Nobody seemed to mind or notice.

  According to my ticket, this stop would be about thirty minutes and seemed to be more for the driver than anyone else on the bus. From there, it would be over an hour before we reached the main terminal in Oklahoma City. After that, I had to transfer to the one bus that would take me to Florida. The ticket said the bus would stop at regular intervals for both breaks and to pick up and drop off passengers. As exhausted as I was, I didn’t plan to sleep until I was on the bus for Florida.

  I waited, anxiously, reading and rereading the posted signs and ads inside the bus advising me that no food or drinks were allowed on the bus while also advertising food and drinks for fast food places.

  Looking around as surreptitiously as I could, I decided one of the passengers, an older man in a suit and hat with a cane between his legs, was a ghost. He looked solid to me and had a dour expression on his face. I decided he was a ghost because he didn’t seem to have a reflection either on the window beside him or on the large mirror over the driver’s head.

  I tried to avoid looking at him. I hoped he wouldn’t bother me. I was trying hard not to draw any more attention to myself than was strictly necessary and I figured talking to someone no one else could see would be an incredibly bad idea. Thankfully, the ghost didn’t seem to notice me and stayed in his seat.

  We finally got underway just as dawn was breaking and I hadn’t seen, nor heard, any police, which I took as a good sign. Once we got going, I kept my attention on the passing scenery outside. Oklahoma, I was learning, was flat country with little in the way of things to look at when moving at highway speeds. Still, it was more than I had ever seen before, so it was riveting to me. Each passing mile meant it was one more mile further away from Jack and Billi, which could only make me smile.

  The bus slowed when it entered the city before finally stopping with a hiss in front of a large terminal with many busses outside. The door opened and I made my way to the front, along with one or two others. The place was intimidating to me, with so many people. It was more people than I had ever seen before. I made my way to one of the people that seemed to be wearing a uniform with the same logo as on the front of the bus, suppressing my panic as much as I could before addressing them.

  “Excuse me,” I said to the woman who seemed to be on the lookout for people to help. She turned her attention to me and I continued, “Could you please tell me where this bus is? I don’t want to miss it.”

  The woman took my ticket and examined it for a few seconds before directing me to bus three-twenty-three and pointing in the general direction.

  I thanked her and made my way to a row of buses, looking for the right bus. I finally found it after walking so far that I was near-wheezing, but I made my way into the bus and presented my ticket to the driver, who scanned it without looking at me.

  This bus was more crowded. Most of the people were older and seemed to be riding together, with a few families with kids sprinkled among the rows of seats.

  I found an empty seat near the back, next to the window, and settled in for a long trip. I took a few minutes to catch my breath before I finally sighed with relief. The next stop for me now would be far ahead of me and many miles away.

  Now would probably be a good time to let Tommy know I had gotten away.

  “Ring-ring, ring-ring,” I whispered quietly while holding the toy car.

  “Jane?” came the startled voice of Tommy. He was at his bus stop, waiting for his school bus to come take him to school. I could feel the weight of the books in his backpack, which felt odd to me.

  “Know anyone else that can talk to you like this?” I asked, a small smile coming to my face.

  “No,” Tommy admitted, looking around him. From his thoughts, I could tell he was looking for anyone that might overhear him as well as for me, in case I was close by. “Where are you? You’ve never called this early…”

  “I’m on the bus for Florida!” I told him, almost giggling with excitement.

  “You are?” he asked, completely shocked. “Why didn’t you call me to take you to the bus station like we had planned?”

  Tommy had offered to give me a ride on his bike to the bus station, which would have cut down my travel time there by at least an hour. The problem was that Tommy would, ironically, have had a harder time sneaking away than I did. It seems that concerned parents beat a locked door any day of the week.

  “I didn’t want you to get in trouble,” I admitted.

  “I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble!” Tommy insisted.

  “For helping someone run away from home?” I asked, pointing out how ridiculous his argument was.

  “Fine,” Tommy relented. “My parents would have been mad for sneaking out, but only if they found out! Even then, it wouldn’t have been that bad!”

  “It wouldn’t have been just your parents!” I told him. “If the police found out you helped me, it would have been serious. It might be worse since my dad is a cop…”

  “I don’t care!” he insisted, getting angry.

  “But I do!” I threw back at him. “Tommy… you have shown me more kindness than I’ve ever known in my life! I couldn’t bear it if you got in trouble for doing the right thing, especially for me.”

  “But I wanted to meet you!” he whined. “In person!”

  “I know,” I told him. “Maybe someday, if this all works out…”

  “Promise?” he asked.

  “I’ll try,” I hedged, not wanting to commit to such a meeting.

  “Okay,” he relented, sounding appeased.

  “Keep me company?” I asked, the loneliness finally hitting me hard now that I was in a bus filling with people.

  “Sure,” he relented.

  I was silent as I followed him getting on the bus, getting to school, and going to classes. The classes bored him, but were fascinating to me, since the only class I had ever gone to was the one-on-one bible study sessions Billi had forced on me. I had been studying with Tommy as he worked on his homework, but watching him go to class was an entirely new experience for me. Tommy thinks I’m weird for being jealous that he goes to school, with actual classes, but compared to my lessons, his were amazing!

  I must have dozed during the trip as I woke with a start with the hiss of the brakes as the bus pulled into another terminal. The driver announced that there would be a tw
o-hour break for lunch, while also announcing the city.

  I forget which city the bus stopped at… I’m sorry, but it was a long time ago, for me, and what came next was so much more memorable than the name of the city!

  I got off the bus, memorizing its location and moving as quickly as I dared. I was starving and I saw this as my chance to eat some real food for once!

  This terminal was as large as the one in Oklahoma City and had different fast food places along with large bathrooms to accommodate large volumes of people. I wanted a place that served steak, since I could still remember the smell and sizzle of the steaks that Jack made, but the closest I could come was a place that seemed to specialize in burgers.

  I took my place in line, watching others give their orders to learn how to do this, and perused the menu, paying more attention to the prices than to the food. When it was my turn, I ordered the biggest burger I could afford, a bacon double cheeseburger with fries and a soda. I paid the cashier in coins and got a dirty look for my troubles, especially since much of the money was in pennies. I admit that I unloaded all of my pennies on this meal, since Tommy thought that the busses might not take pennies. The cashier counted out my money with an annoyed air, and I heard grumblings from people behind me, since I was holding up the line, but the money was finally accepted and my order was placed in front of me.

  The tray was almost too heavy for me as I made my way to an empty table and unwrapped the burger. What I got didn’t look anything like the beautiful picture on the overhead menus, but I didn’t see anyone else complaining and I figured I had already caused enough grief with the coins, so I didn’t say anything.

  The first bite was… beyond amazing! At first my mouth flooded, painfully, with saliva at this brand-new taste. I chewed a few times and relished not hearing any crunch of anything so bland as the dressing-less salads or the celery and carrot sticks Billi had always given me. After I had swallowed that first bite, the rest of the burger seemed to disappear before I knew what happened. I took a sip of the non-diet soda and nearly gagged at the sweetness of it! I had never tasted anything as sweet as this and I wasn’t sure I could finish it!

  I confess that, to this day, I can’t understand why people are so enthralled at drinks that may as well be syrup!

  But I forced myself to finish the drink, eating fries between sips to help tame the sugary concoction. When I was done, I felt stuffed! For the first time that I could remember, I felt full! I looked down at my stomach and I looked fat with the large meal! In retrospect, this is more of a testament to how dangerously thin I was, at the time, than to the actual size of the meal.

  It was then that my stomach nearly betrayed me…

  In the years I’ve had to reflect on this, I’ve learned that you should never give someone that is literally starving a large meal, no matter how much you may want to or think this is a good idea. This is because their system is not prepared to handle the increased food intake, so it will reject the food it desperately needs. I think you all know what I mean when I say ‘reject’ the food…

  Mind you, I didn’t know any of this at the time… For the first time that I could remember, I felt nauseous and my stomach was convulsing, trying to squeeze all the good food I had just given it out the way it came. It took all I had to keep the food down, but I managed, though my stomach was still complaining for a long time afterwards.

  Before heading back to the bus, I made one last stop, this time to the bathrooms. I found an empty stall and took a moment to appreciate using the toilet without an angry woman staring at me. I washed my hands and made my way back to the bus, fearful that it would leave without me and I would be stranded.

  My fears were for nothing as there was still plenty of time before it left.

  I made my way back to the same seat I had before and counted the money I had left. I was down to quarters and by my reckoning, I had only just enough for the bus trip, plus a transfer, that would get me to the foundation. I wouldn’t even have enough for another meal. I still had at least a day before I got to the foundation. I resigned myself to this fate with a soft sigh. After all, this wouldn’t be the first time I had gone a day without food, and besides, my stomach was in no mood for more food…

  All this meant that I would arrive at the foundation with nothing but the clothes on my back and a little toy car that meant the world to me but meant nothing to anyone else.

  Tommy would call this a high-risk, high-reward gambit. I didn’t have a backup plan. This was all or nothing, now…

  With a full, but complaining, belly, I curled up on my seat and drifted off to sleep, trying to ready myself for the trials to come…

  Chapter 9

  Testing

  “Fort Lauderdale!” came the announcement, jerking me out of a slight, but happy, slumber. I had been sleeping, off and on, during the long trip, only leaving the bus to relieve myself during one of the scheduled stops. My stomach had gone from bitterly angry with me for all the food to acceptance, then revenge at the other end. By this point, though, it was angry with me for how empty it was.

  I was tired nearly all the time, now. At this point, I didn’t dare try to contact Tommy for fear that I would exhaust myself so much that I wouldn’t be able to perform for the Magus foundation. I had to conserve my strength and the easiest way to do that was by spending most of my time sleeping. Oh, sure, I’d wake and admire the scenery rushing by the windows, but sleep seemed to be what my body demanded, so sleep it got.

  I unfolded myself slowly, my limbs stiff from disuse. I stood up, steadied myself on the back of the seat as a wave of dizziness hit me, and made my way to the front of the bus, clutching my padded envelope in one hand. I got a few stares from some of the other passengers, some of whom looked a fair bit scared and/or horrified at the sight of me.

  Guess I looked worse than I thought…

  I made my way slowly outside, pausing every few minutes to catch my breath, to the line of busses waiting to depart. It took me a while to find the bus I needed for the next leg of my mission, but I managed. I dumped in the last of my change, overpaying a little, I think, and asked for a transfer. The driver handed me a slip of paper without question, and I took a seat, picking a spot on the wide bench that ran along either side of the bus. I was staring out the window intently, reading street names, and waiting for the stop that would get me closer to my final destination. When I saw that we were approaching the stop I needed, I yanked on the overhead wire that was supposed to signal the driver to stop, but nothing happened.

  “The wire has been stuck all damn day!” the driver announced before slowing to a stop. I made my way, unsteadily to the front and thanked him on my way out. I took a look around to get my bearings and started towards the next stop. I had to stop twice on my way to the stop to catch my breath, but I made it!

  The bus stop had a metal bench inside a glass booth that was hot to the touch, but I was so tired that I sat on it anyway, risking burns for the sake of catching my breath.

  So! This is Florida! It’s… hotter than I thought it would be! Also sunnier!

  I turned my face to the sun, enjoying the chance to actually be out in the sunshine, instead of longing for it through the window! I’m quite certain I had a silly grin on my face the whole time. I’m also certain that I looked homeless, which is more or less accurate.

  I’m not sure how much time passed before my bus came along and I boarded, handing over my little transfer slip and taking a seat to resume watching for my stop. The overhead wire on this bus was still working and I made my way outside for the next leg of my journey.

  Unfortunately, in my excitement, I had set down the envelope with my treasured toy car inside while I was on the bus! By the time I realized this, though, the bus had already driven off! I had no way of reaching Tommy to let him know that I had made it to Florida! I also had no way to find him again, since I only knew his first name and only a vague sense of where he lived… I was so dead-sure that I’d always have him that
it never seemed important to ask him any personal details, like where he lived or what his last name was or even what he looked like!

  I could either wait at this stop in the blazing heat and hope I could talk the bus driver into letting me look for my lost envelope, though I had no money with me, or I could continue on my mission in the hope that someday, somewhere, Tommy and I could be together again.

  I made a decision, then and there, that I have thought over more times than I can count. I would continue the mission we had planned together, for better or worse. I hoped that maybe, if I was lucky, we’d meet again.

  Fate was not that kind…

  Since that time, I’ve tried to find him again, looking up the names of the families in the area that might frequent that park, but I was never able to narrow it down, since I only knew Tommy’s name, not his parents. I once hired a private investigator to try to find him, but with so little to go on, they had no luck, either.

  I’ve also tried some… unorthodox methods of finding him including using a pair of psychic twins and the smartest AI on the planet, but they had no more luck than I did…

  I never knew what happened to Tommy. I hope his life turned out okay…

  Anyway… back to the mission…

  At this point the only possessions I had in the world were the clothes on my back and nothing else… A stained white t-shirt, a pair of worn black shorts, underwear, and shoes that had seen more use today than they had in their life!

  It hardly seems possible you could build a future on so meager a foundation…

  The final leg of my trip felt like the longest part. Busses don’t travel to every corner of the city, so I spent some time walking in what I thought was the right general direction. Somewhere along the way, I got lost and had to ask for directions. The problem was, though, that I kept scaring people off! They either ignored me completely, or they actively moved around me, keeping a wide berth. Finally, out of desperation, I grabbed a lady’s arm, my mind linking to hers instantly with the touch, and asked her for directions to the Magus foundation. Her mouth said “Get off me!” but her mind showed me a route, complete with landmarks and an image of an adobe building with red brick shingles.