Change My Mind

by Ali Parker

  Just like that, the guard I put up against him was gone. He sounded sincere. He looked sincere. I believed him, but the man was dangerous to my heart. For one brief moment, he made me forget everything—until a cold wind brushed over me and reminded me I was standing outside a restaurant I just fled under the guise of a family emergency. I did not want Oliver to come out and find me standing outside. I would be busted. I didn’t want to piss the guy off. I felt like my lie to escape him was better than the truth, which was that he was making me ill with his long-winded complaints about everything under the sun.

  “I have to go,” I blurted out.

  “What?” he asked with confusion. “Go?”

  I grabbed his arm. “Let’s take a walk.”

  “A walk? It’s not exactly warm out. Maybe we should go inside and get a drink.”

  “Walk.”

  “I could drive us to a coffee shop.”

  I dragged him along. “Walk, please. I need to walk.” I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Oliver wasn’t following.

  I didn’t want to take a walk with him. I didn’t want to see him so soon after the clean break I declared. Unfortunately, he was the lesser of two evils. An awkward conversation with him was far better than the horrible conversation I was forced to endure with Oliver. If I had to listen to that man complain another second about everything under the sun, I would have stabbed myself with my fork.

  We headed down the sidewalk. I barely felt the cold. I was in flight mode. My arm was looped through his, his body heat warming me. I hated that I liked being with him. It felt so natural and right. All I needed to do was remind myself of why I fled the hotel in the first place.

  The words I read in that article bounced through my brain. I reread the article over and over. It never got any better. It was arrogant and made me sound like I was weak. I wanted to be a strong woman. I wanted to be independent. I didn’t want people to think I slept my way into the job.

  “You left without saying goodbye,” he said.

  I heard the hurt in his voice and actually felt very badly. Running away had been a bad move. I was a coward and I felt guilty. I was already regretting the way it happened, but I didn’t regret the actual leaving. It was the right thing to do. Staying would have made both of us miserable. I could not forgive him for what he did with that article. He blabbed my personal life to a complete stranger. Not just a stranger, a fucking journalist who was printing every word he told her.

  “I felt it was for the best,” I told him honestly. “I know I probably could have done it with a bit more finesse, but I needed to get away. I was gone the moment I left that night. Just because we were stranded in the cabin together, it doesn’t change anything. We aren’t good together.”

  “Why? I don’t understand. I thought we were doing good. I was happy. You certainly seemed happy and that night in the cabin was beautiful. We shared something amazing.”

  “Sex has never been a problem for us,” I told him, blushing a little just thinking about it. “Sex isn’t a relationship. It isn’t a healthy relationship. We weren’t doing good outside of the bedroom.”

  He let out a small laugh. “You mean my office.”

  “Stop!” I hissed a little embarrassed. “That’s what I’m talking about. Just because we have good sex doesn’t mean we are good together.”

  “Harper, I’m sorry about the article. I really am. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I see it now. I told her what I wanted to happen. I got caught up in a fantasy.”

  “Chase, it wasn’t just the article. We’re different people. We move in different circles. Things between us would never work out. I think you know that. What we have is familiar, but that doesn’t make it real. Our relationship is based on who we were ten years ago. We don’t know each other now.”

  “I do know you,” he insisted. “I know you better than I know myself sometimes, I think.”

  “You don’t know who I am anymore,” I whispered. “I’ve changed. You’ve changed. We’re not the same. I don’t want to be the same.”

  “We can grow together. We already have.”

  “It wouldn’t have been long term. You know that. I didn’t want to drag things out and make it harder on both of us. It just seemed better to get it done and over with.”

  “Over with?” he repeated. “I know things between us weren’t great but that doesn’t mean it is all bad.”

  “I’m not saying it was all bad, but I didn’t want to get tangled up in something. It would get messy.”

  I felt his sigh. “I know I made some mistakes. I know it and I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing in the moment. I recognize my mistakes now. I can change. I will change. I am changing.”

  “Chase, I didn’t ask you to do that.”

  “No, you didn’t but I want to do it. Don’t throw this away because I’m a jerk.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I didn’t say you were a jerk.”

  “You didn’t have to. I know you think I was, and you were right. I was. I didn’t realize I was doing it. I swear, if I would have known, I wouldn’t have been such an asshole.”

  “You weren’t an asshole.”

  “I’m not giving up on us. We’re good together. You make me a better man. I need to be a better man. I like the man I am when I’m with you. You don’t want to leave me hanging, do you?”

  He was making it very difficult to be angry with him. He always did. The man was charming and handsome, and for whatever reason, I could never resist him. But I would. I needed to. He was not good for my heart. I took a deep breath and told myself to remain strong.

  “We’re both very busy with our careers. You’ve got a new hotel to run and I need to focus on my new job. We are both very driven and we both care a great deal about our jobs. You say I’m tenacious, but you are just as tenacious when it comes to your resort. I know you have big dreams to open more resorts. That’s going to take a lot of time and energy.”

  “It’s not that time consuming,” he protested.

  “This is not the time to try and take on a difficult relationship. It would never work. It’s just too much work and it’s only going to lead to misery on both sides.”

  “I could never be miserable with you,” he insisted.

  I stopped walking and turned to face him. “It’s better this way. I want to focus on my career. It’s important to me.”

  “I’m important to you.”

  I had to laugh. “That’s bold.”

  “I know I am.”

  I gave him a hug before kissing him on the cheek. “You’ll always be close to my heart but this relationship or whatever we had is over. I can’t do it right now.”

  “Harper, wait, please,” he said and grabbed my hand when I moved to walk away.

  “I can’t, Chase. I just can’t.”

  I pulled my hand away from his and walked toward my car as fast as I could navigate. I got into my car and drove straight to the hotel. I didn’t trust myself to stop. If I looked back and saw him looking at me, I wouldn’t keep going. I would want to turn around and fall back into his arms.

  It was hard the first time to walk away from him. The second time had been brutal.

  I walked into the small room and dropped my keys on the small table. I hated staying in hotels. It felt so strange and alone. The suite at Chase’s hotel had been so much more inviting and comfortable. It truly felt like being at home. This place with the boring-ass picture on the wall and the dull furniture was not homey. It was more of a place to stay overnight.

  I flopped down in the uncomfortable chair and stared out at the night sky. I felt very alone. Seeing Chase had stirred up those feelings I was trying so hard to ignore. Was I making a mistake? He wanted to change. I believed him. I felt him trying hard to keep me happy. It was sweet, but my survival instinct was kicking in hard.

  I thought he’d changed when I first started working with him. I saw the man I wanted him to be and I fell hard for him. I let myself believe he
was grown up. I thought all his thoughtful gestures were sweet and romantic. As it turned out, they were self-serving. He was only trying to keep up the charade long enough for the hotel to be launched and his article to be published.

  “Ouch,” I winced, touching my hand to my heart.

  It truly was painful to think I was used. The worst part about it was I did it to myself. I knew better, and I let myself fall for him all over again. Even now, I was actually considering going back to him. People changed. Chase could change. He said all the right things, and about eighty percent of the time, he did the right things. It was just that twenty percent that got me.

  Getting back in with him would lead to heartache eventually. It was better to leave things where they were. It was uncomfortable now, but it would get better. It would get better a lot faster if I wasn’t fully invested in him. It was ripping off the band-aid before it could really get stuck on well.

  I opened the small fridge and pulled out one of the Straw-ber-itas I bought on a whim. They were actually very good, and after the dinner I endured, I deserved it. I deserved twenty. I sipped my drink and mulled over the encounter. It was kind of strange he was there.

  “Oh no, he did not!” I gasped, an idea dawning.

  Parker knew I was going out with Oliver. Whatever Parker knew, Jake knew. It was that whole relationship thing. A solid couple shared a single brain. I used to be like that with Chase. A long, long time ago. Jake probably told Chase and Chase did what he does—he came running down to the restaurant to cause a scene.

  That made a lot more sense. I rolled my eyes, certain I figured it out. That explained the coincidental run-in. I was flattered that he cared enough to make a scene.

  And pissed. That could have ended very badly. I guessed it was good I left Oliver sitting at the table with his cold salmon. I probably saved Vail from the scandal of the year.

  Chapter 64

  Chase

  The moment I opened my eyes, I felt motivated. She shut me down. She rejected me and insisted we weren’t right for each other. I knew she was wrong. Call it heavy-handed. Call it being arrogant, but I knew we were right for each other. She was the woman I was supposed to be with. I knew she felt it, but she was still pissed at me for the article and my other sins. I could make up for it all.

  When she walked away, I felt her reluctance. Her reluctance was good news for me. It was the tiny little glimmer of hope I needed. I wasn’t giving up. I knew where she worked. I didn’t know where she was staying just yet, but I would find out. For now, I needed to stay front and center in her life. I wasn’t going to let her forget me. I was going to be charming and remind her of how much she loved me, and I was certain she loved me, even if she forgot on occasion.

  Our relationship would never be easy. I knew that for certain. But I wasn’t interested in easy. I liked the challenge and I was sure she did as well. We were naturally stubborn people who liked to work hard to get something we wanted. I wanted her, and I was willing to work very hard to make it happen. A little hard work made the reward all the sweeter.

  The jewelry I gave her helped a little, but it wasn’t enough to show her how serious I was about making our relationship a real thing. Flowers and chocolate weren’t enough. I needed yet another big gesture. But before I got caught up in all of that, I needed to come clean. I needed to tell her the whole story about the article and go from there. I had to tell her how I felt. Once that was out there, we could start moving forward.

  I showered and headed downstairs. I checked in with reception, pleased to see the hotel was running at ninety percent even after the holiday. That was a good thing. After the first of the year was when the numbers would really start to matter.

  I popped into the kitchen and checked in with the chef. I felt a little guilty for slacking in my duties the past couple of days. I was letting them know I was back and things were good. Once I made sure to show my face and remind everyone I was still the captain of the ship, I headed over to my office. Jake was sitting at the desk he set up for himself.

  “I was wondering if you were going to show up,” he commented.

  “Do you have anything for me?” I asked, ignoring his comment.

  He slowly shook his head. “Not right at the moment. The event team wants a meeting with you, but I’ve pushed it until next week.”

  “Good. Anything else?”

  “Nope. Just the usual stuff.”

  I gave a brief nod. “Great, then I’m headed out.”

  “You haven’t even headed in,” he said dryly.

  “I need to do a little shopping,” I told him. “I won’t be gone long.”

  He stopped typing on the keyboard. “You’re going to do what?”

  “Shopping.”

  “You don’t shop.”

  “Yes, I do. Sometimes.”

  He gave me a look. “I did not tell you,” he said, shaking his head. “This was not me. Did you bug my phone?”

  I smiled, understanding what he was saying. “No, you did not, and if anyone asks, I will tell them. This is on me. I did not bug your phone. You are not my only source of information.”

  “I hope you know what you are doing because this is probably going to backfire.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m not sure I will be if Parker thinks I put you up to this or told you anything. She will kill me.”

  I had to laugh. The man was clearly smitten with Parker. I liked that he was a good boyfriend and didn’t want to do anything to upset her. “If it gets back to her, I will make sure she knows it wasn’t you. Harper told me about her job offer before. This comes straight from her and no one else.”

  It was a little white lie, but no one needed to get hurt. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t have found out on my own. Tawny would be bragging about her new acquisition to everyone in town and Oliver would be pouting about it. Harper was a valuable commodity, and after the success of my grand opening, everyone wanted her.

  “Do you want me to call Dwayne?” he offered, resigned to the idea I was going regardless.

  “No, I’ll drive myself.”

  He stood up and stared at me. “All right, who are you and where is my real boss?”

  I rolled my eyes and walked away without saying anything. I wasn’t acting like my normal self but that was because my normal self wasn’t good enough for Harper. I needed to make some changes to get her back and I was going to do it.

  I got my SUV and headed back to the mall. It really wasn’t what I liked to do, but I wanted to see her. I didn’t have a plan, and I wasn’t sure what I would say to her, but I was going to wing it. That worked better for me. The speech I planned for last night went up in smoke the moment I saw her. I needed to just blurt out what I had to tell her and forget all the filler stuff. I didn’t want to count on having her attention for long. The quicker I said it, the quicker it was out there, and I could focus on convincing her to take me back.

  My goal was to tell her about the review. Not about the review but why I did it. I was going to tell her I was certain we were going to be in a better place. We were going to be madly in love, and when she read it, she was going to fall deeper in love with me. She was supposed to be amused, not insulted.

  Hindsight revealed that was a shitty plan. Ambushing her at work was probably a dumb idea as well. I was going out on a limb, and it was probably going to blow up in my face again, but I had to try. I had nothing to lose.

  I strolled through the mall, doing my best to avoid making eye contact with the many women roaming about. I popped into a few stores, pretending to look at the clothes, but really, I was looking for her. I walked around until I happened upon a tea shop and that was where I found her. She was sitting all by herself with a blank stare on her face. She looked sad. I did not like seeing her like that.

  I immediately went in and sat down. “Hi.”

  Her eyes widened as she looked up at me. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to try this new tea shop I�
�ve been hearing about.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t drink tea.”

  “But this tea is supposed to be all the rage.”

  “You know, in some lawbooks, this could be considered stalking,” she said with a soft smile. “You keep showing up to where I am, and I don’t believe it is a coincidence.”

  I shrugged, not denying it. “I might be trying find you.”

  “Chase, we talked about this,” she started.

  “Are you enjoying that tea?” I asked, looking down at her full cup.

  She groaned. “I don’t like tea.”

  “I know you don’t. I know a lot about you.”

  “Used to.”

  “I came here because I’ve been trying to tell you something and I just keep getting distracted. I went to the cabin to tell you and then I didn’t. I chickened out. I was afraid to say it and now it’s weighing on me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier.”

  She leaned forward, looking very intrigued. Words bounced around in my head as I tried to think of exactly how to say it. There was so much I wanted to say, but if I didn’t choose my words carefully, I didn’t think she would hear me out. I needed to maximize the time I had.

  “Well, hello,” I heard a woman say.

  I looked up to see Tawny coming in hot. She pulled out a chair and sat down but not before she dropped a kiss on my cheek.

  She turned her chair to face me, putting her back to Harper who was sitting there looking just as stunned as I was. Tawny completely ignored her. She was focused on me.

  “It’s nice to see you, Tawny,” I said politely.

  “How have you been?” she cooed.

  “I’m good. You?”

  “Great. The mall is doing very well. Did you order tea?”

  “Uh, no,” I said, praying she didn’t make me drink tea.

  “You have to try some. It’s absolutely amazing. We’ve already had several write-ups in the local paper. Everyone loves it.”