No More Wasted Time

by Beverly Preston

  Tess hit the bag, kicked it, kneed it and punched it again and again until her hands were numb and sweat ran down her body. She was furious at Tom for hurting her, and even more livid with herself for trusting him and allowing herself to fall in love.

  Her mind and body were completely worn out. Tess headed to her car to drive back to her hotel so she could shower and crash before taking the girls to dinner. People glanced at her strangely as they walked past. She must’ve looked like a complete disaster.

  She reached for the car door.

  “Tess,” Tom said in his slow, deep voice that made her stomach lurch.

  Enraged that he would still use that tone on her, Tess spun around to see Tom leaning against a tree next to her car. He wore dark sunglasses that hid his eyes from hers. Chicken shit can’t even look me in the eye. Anger rocketed through her core.

  “Don’t say my name like that anymore. What are you doing here?” she snarled at him. “What do you want from me?”

  “We need to talk.” He stepped toward her, but she pulled away from him. Tom looked devastated by her reaction and reached out to touch her again.

  Tess backed away, shaking her head. “Don’t you fucking touch me.” Her lip quivered as she growled.

  Tom’s face drained of color as he raised his hands and stepped back a half a step.

  “How long have you been here waiting for me?”

  “I don’t know. Hours. Can we please go for a drive? People have been coming up to me since I got here, and I can’t deal with that shit right now. I need to talk to you. Alone.”

  Through broken sobs Tess choked, “I don’t want to go with you. I don’t trust myself and I sure as hell don’t trust you.”

  “I only want to explain. Please. I promise I won’t try to touch you.” He sounded sickened by his own words.

  She couldn’t bear the tenderness in his voice or her aching need to feel his arms around her. Adrenaline sizzled through her veins and her chest heaved up and down. She began pacing with heel-digging strides.

  Hesitantly, he stepped toward her and held his hand out asking for the keys.

  Before she realized what she had done, she was sitting in the passenger seat.

  Tom drove as they sat in silence.

  “Tess, it’s not what you think. The picture isn’t real.”

  “Again with the fucking picture! Why don’t you just pull it up on your cell phone so you can rub it in my face? I told you in Greece, if you change your mind and want to see other women, then tell me. You didn’t have enough respect for me to tell me first!”

  “Tess, stop and listen to me.”

  “No, maybe you should listen to me. I would’ve let you go, but you asked me to be your girlfriend. I wouldn’t have chased after you. It might have killed me, but I would’ve let you go. You gave up on us after one week. One fucking week. The photo looks damn real to me!”

  “Will you just look at the magazine, maybe-”

  “No, I won’t.”

  Tom’s phone rang, and he handed it to her. “It’s for you.”

  Tess could hear Tracy on the line. “Tom, she’s really pissed, you-”

  “It’s me, Tracy.”

  “Oh. I heard kids saying they saw Tom on campus. I wanted to warn him you’re upset. Are you okay?”

  “We’re going for a drive. I’ll call you in a while.” Tess looked at Tom and her heart beat faster, fueling her with rage. She didn’t want to be attracted to him. She didn’t want to be in love him.

  “Wait, Mom! I need to tell you something. John left a message on my phone.”

  “What’s wrong with him?”

  “Tom went to our house two days ago, and…well… John kind of kicked his ass.”

  “What did you just say?” Tess asked in shock.

  “Well, actually it wasn’t a fight, Tom wouldn’t hit him back. John’s message said you need to listen to Tom.”

  “Great, just great! I’ll call you or find you later.”

  No wonder he looks like shit. Her fingers trembled, afraid to touch him because she still wanted him so badly. She carefully reached over and lifted Tom’s sunglasses off his face, revealing a huge black eye.

  “I’ve been dreaming of doing that for two nights,” she snarled, shaking her head in disgust.

  “Very funny, Tess. Are you going to let me explain?”

  “What we had was special. Something you just wouldn’t understand. How could you even want to be with her? She’s nothing but an irritating, play-toy.”

  He tried to talk, but she cried harder now.

  “You know, Tom, I made my husband deliriously happy for twenty-five years, twenty-five long years, and you can simply throw me away-”

  Tom jabbed himself in the chest with his finger. “I understand exactly what we have together. More than you realize.” His voice raised, full of pain and anger. “And don’t you dare compare me to your husband.”

  “There is no comparison,” she snapped.

  Toms face fell heartbroken as the words left her lips. They had come out different than intended, and Tess colored with shame, watching Tom turn ashen white.

  “I was better with you. You don’t fucking get it, do you? If I made him incredibly happy for twenty-five years, I sure as hell know I could make you happy because I was better with you! You made me a better woman! You brought things out in me I didn’t know existed. I’m different with you. I didn’t think that was possible. You let me go. For her? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re a fool.”

  “Are you going to be quiet now?” Tom asked rudely, almost yelling at her. “Tess, I’m begging you, look at the damn picture. I haven’t thrown you away. I didn’t do anything wrong.” He tried to hand her the magazine again, but she refused to touch him or look at the picture. He reached for her hand, but she yanked it away.

  The pain in his eyes made her stop resisting. He held her hand, but she stared straight ahead with tears streaming down her face. Tom tried to kiss her and she turned her head. “I want to kiss you so badly, but I can't.”

  “Damn it, Tess, I wasn’t with her. Yes, I was in the picture with her. Yes, the picture is real! The fucking picture is old.”

  “What? Oh bullshit! You really expect me to believe that shit? How gullible do you think I am?”

  “If you were quiet for one fucking minute, I could’ve explained this to you two days ago.” He held up the magazine in front of her face, poking it with his finger. “Do I look familiar to you in this picture?” He sneered through gritted teeth.

  “I don’t understand.” She sniveled, frowning through wet lashes.

  “Jesus, Tess. Look how white I am in this picture. Look at me. Tess…look at me. I’m as dark as you are. I’ve been trying to tell you for three damn days. The picture is old,” Tom explained, his voice full of hurt and angry sarcasm. “Did I look like this the first time you saw me? Do you even remember the first time you saw me? Because I remember everything about you, from the very first moment I saw your beautiful blue eyes at check-in. I know exactly what you were wearing, the curve of your lip when you smiled at me, and how you wore your hair that day.” He asked indignantly, “Do you remember what I looked like at that moment? Hmmm? Do you, Tess?”

  “I remember everything about you!” she cried out, sobbing. She knew exactly what he looked like that day in Bora Bora. Dark straight jeans, a white shirt and flip-flops. Tess gasped staring at the magazine. She turned her head, staring at Tom and how tan he still looked. He wasn’t tan at all in the picture. Tess realized instantaneously that the photo had been taken the day he left for Bora Bora over a month ago.

  “I tried to tell you, but you ran your phone over,” he said painfully.

  “I think I might be sick.” Everything started to spin. Tom rolled the windows down. “I don’t understand. Why did you let them put this picture in this magazine then? Who fucking did this?”

  “I sure as hell didn’t do it! I would never hurt you. My publicist, or I should say my f
ormer publicist, purposely released the picture out without telling me.”

  “I think I’m going to puke.”

  “I’m almost there, Tess. Two minutes, can you wait?”

  “Where are we?” she asked. “Why would anyone do this to you? Tom, you really haven’t been with her?”

  “No, I haven’t. I wouldn’t do that to you. To us.”

  “I’m so sorry.” She began bawling. “I feel like I’ve been dying for three days.” Her hands covered her face. “I’m such an idiot.”

  “Yeah, well, I feel like I got the shit beat out of me. Oh, that’s right, I did.” He smirked. The car stopped and Tom opened her door. “Tess, you’re breaking my heart. Can I please touch you now?” She nodded her head. He wrapped his arms around her, embracing her shivering body. “You’re a mess. Come on.”

  “Where are we?”

  “This is my cabin. Let’s go inside.”

  She sat on a bench on the porch while he found a hidden key.

  “Are you feeling better? You’re not going to throw up are you?”

  “I’m not sure. I think I need to eat.” She trembled. “I really thought you were with her. I felt so used. I’ve been really pissed at you,” she snarled.

  “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, but I haven’t done anything wrong. I could never be cruel to you. I was already on my way back to see you when all this shit happened.”

  “What do you mean on your way back?”

  “We need to talk, but I need you coherent and you look like you might pass out.” He led her upstairs to his room.

  “Did you just buy this place? Why don’t you have any furniture?” she asked deliriously.

  “Take a shower, you’ll feel better. Jesus, what the hell have you been doing to yourself?” he questioned sadly. “Running for three days? You’re all sweaty and salty.” He touched the dry salty residue on her collarbone.

  She sniffled and nodded.

  “You look like you’ve been in a fight.” Tom glanced down at her red swollen hands, one knuckle split open and bleeding. “Please tell me you didn’t lose your temper and hit a door or wall.”

  Tess rolled her eyes. “Just a heavy bag I found at the campus.”

  “Get in the shower. I’ll see what I can find you to eat. Do you want me to text your kids to let them know where you are?”

  “Yes. Did John really do that to you?” She cringed.

  “Yeah, he did. Get in, you’ll feel better.”

  She sat on the shower floor, crying as the hot water rained down over her. Everything she’d said to him replayed through her mind. Tess didn’t want to lose him. She loved Tom. After she saw the picture, she was glad she hadn’t told him she loved him, but now it was all she wanted to do.

  Tom made her some pasta. They sat on his bed, which was the only thing in his room, and ate. Emotionally drained, she lay back on the bed and passed out.

  Tess could hear the rain on the tin roof during the night and it was still raining when she woke before sunrise. When she opened her eyes, Tom lay on his side, staring at her through a big purple and yellow shiner.

  She gently touched the dark bruise surrounding his eye. “What happened with John? I can’t believe he hit you.”

  “Believe it. I assumed you’d be home when I knocked on the door. I hadn’t realized you’d left early for Colorado. John was so furious when he answered the door, I couldn’t even get three words out of my mouth. I think he has your temperament. Thank God Lisa jumped out of the car and started yelling at him. Once John saw Lisa, he stopped instantly. I’d probably look a whole lot worse if she hadn’t been there.”

  “I don’t have a bad temper, but my kids have never seen me that furious. John showed me the magazine, Tom.” She paused as heat rose to her face. “That’s the second time my son has had to deliver the worst news of my life to me.” Her lip quivered as she remembered the moment John told her Richard had died. Each time she remembered that instant in the hospital, all of the air drained from her lungs. Tess could almost taste the antiseptic odor of the hospital that still made her queasy.

  Tom’s dark eyes filled with sorrow. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry, Tess.”

  She sniffled, waiting for her breath to catch. “Did he let you explain? Are you two okay now? Why was Lisa there?”

  “It’s a long story. Yes, we’re fine now. John felt horrible when he realized I hadn’t cheated on you. He tried to call you, but you ran your phone over and Tracy’s phone was turned off.”

  “Sorry he hit you.”

  “I’m the one who needs to apologize. Susan, my publicist, totally screwed me over with the picture. She was pissed that I wanted to go on an isolated vacation, and sending Mariah back the first day didn’t make her any happier. When I told her I was bringing you home with me, she went ballistic. She tried to convince me it would be the most ridiculous, career-crushing mistake of my life, blah, blah, blah… I didn’t care what she thought, so I started handling things the way I wanted them handled.”

  “You mean with Joey and all the pictures of us?” she asked. “The premier?”

  “I wasn’t going to hide you. I want to be with you. I’m proud to have you with me and I don’t care that you’re not famous. It doesn’t matter to me.”

  “Wait. Did you just say you sent Mariah home the first day you were in Bora Bora?” Tess asked suspiciously.

  “Shit,” Tom muttered. “Okay, I have to tell you the truth. I was never going to admit this, but I have lied to you. I stole your tour on purpose so I could meet you.”

  “I knew it, you little thief!” she said with satisfaction, but then puzzlement. “What do you mean, so you could meet me?”

  “Tess, when I turned around and saw you in the lobby during check-in, you were so beautiful in your blue dress, and the smile you gave me totally sent me over the edge. You were kind of shy and blushing. I had goose bumps all over. I couldn’t even talk straight. That never happens to me,” Tom said softly. “I sent Mariah home the next day and moved to the resort you and I stayed at the very first night I arrived. I never should’ve let her off the plane.”

  “I could’ve told you that at check-in.”

  “After I ‘threw her overboard’ I went down to…steal your tour…as you like to put it. I asked about you, and they said you were vacationing alone. I am truly sorry I intruded on your time with Richard. I felt awful, but was captivated by you and only wanted to make you feel better.”

  “Actually, you made me feel better, and I’m glad you were there.”

  “You got so furious with me for going on the boat with you. You didn’t care who I was.” He paused for a minute. “That’s one of the things I love about you. You liked me for me, not for my name or my money or my career. You didn’t care about any of that.” He caressed her. “Tess, I want to make love to you, but I need to know, are we okay now?”

  She sat on top of him and kissed his bruised eye. “I’m not mad anymore. I feel horrible about everything I said to you. I should’ve let you explain.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you. Ever. Not like this. Not at all.” Tom rolled her onto her back, his eyes were drenched in hurt and anger. “I don’t want you to compare me with Richard again. That really irked me.”

  Her lip quivered. “I wasn’t comparing you to him. I wanted to throw it in your face that I’m more passionate with you and you were really, really going to miss me. It was going to destroy me not to be with you, and I wanted you to realize exactly how miserable you’d be without me,” she said softly. “I know that we have something special together and it hurt me to think you’d let me go so easily.”

  “It doesn’t bother me when you talk about Richard. I think it’s nice you feel comfortable enough to share things about him without it being awkward.” Then he said sincerely, “I have no doubt you could make me happy for twenty-five years.”

  Rain tapped on the window as Tess lay wrapped in a blanket on the couch while he lit a fire in the big stone fireplace. “
Why were you on your way here, Tom? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

  He smiled at her from across the room. “I’m not doing the film, Tess. I was there three days and was worthless. And to make it worse, I didn’t care who they got to replace me, or what it cost me, or who I pissed off. I only wanted to be with you. I knew you were coming to Colorado to drop your girls off. I had a plan to surprise you, but the whole thing fell apart when the magazine came out.”

  “Did they find someone to replace you?”

  “Benny. He’s wanted to take on a more serious role and he offered to do it. The producers were happy, he was happy and I’m deliriously happy.” Tom paused for a minute. “To tell you the truth, I think he might’ve taken the role just for me. Benny knows how much I want to be with you. They’re happy for me.”

  “You don’t have to go back to work?”

  “Nope. I’m taking time off with you.”

  She grinned, but raised her eyebrows in question.

  “Yes?” he asked.

  “Trust me, I want nothing more than to spend time together, but the last thing I want to do is interfere with your career. I know you love what you do and I don’t want you to give anything up for me.”

  “I’m not giving anything up, Tess. If I never want to work again, I don’t have to. I simply need time off, I don’t know how long, a year, two years, I don’t know.”

  “No regrets?”

  “Not one regret. This is undoubtedly the best decision I’ve ever made.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Tess and Tom drove back to the girls campus to say goodbye. She checked-out of her hotel and headed back to his cabin.

  “Did you buy this place recently?”

  “No, I bought it two years ago. I haven’t been able to get back here again.”

  “Seriously? That’s terrible Tom. I can’t believe you have this beautiful cabin and don’t come here.” His traditional log cabin came complete with a river rock fireplace and a wraparound porch with black wrought iron hand railing. The gorgeous interior had so much potential, but sat bare and naked with only a couch and tiny table sitting in the huge dining room.