Assisting the Bosshole

by Kristin MacQueen

  “How the hell do you live like this? Don’t we pay you enough?” I mutter to myself.

  Pulling Logan’s list out of my pocket, I scan the items she needs. I chuckle to myself when I read the last thing.

  P.S. STAY OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER!

  I shake my head, a wide smile taking over my face. There’s no way in hell I’m not looking now.

  I grab her fuzzy robe, a box of makeup and hair stuff, and a few other things from the list. I grab the massive pile of mail I retrieved from her mailbox and start sorting through it. She doesn’t need all this junk mail. I’m tossing one ad after another in the trash when my gaze falls on several hospital and medical bills.

  I want to open them so badly, but I’m not going to do that without her permission. She’d probably dick punch me, she’s threatened bodily harm before.

  I scan the living room for anything else she might need that she didn’t include on her list. My gaze falls on a stack of bills on the coffee table. I’m picking them up before I can think better of it.

  “Holy shit,” I mutter, flipping through one bill after the other.

  I pull my phone out of my pocket without taking my eyes off the papers in my hands.

  “Hey,” Parker answers on the second ring. “What’s wrong?”

  “Are you near Logan?”

  “Nah, she’s sleeping. I’m in my office. Why? What’s up?”

  “Man, I just found a bunch of medical bills on her coffee table.”

  “How much?”

  “They total to over five hundred thousand... Would she kill me if I pay them?”

  “Probably... But do we care? She can’t pay that off.”

  “Parker... She lives in a total dump... How did we not realize this when we come over before her surgery? She must have to take multiple trains to get to the office.”

  “I was planning on asking her to move in with me. She’s it for me, I can’t live without her.”

  “I’m bringing the bills with me. We’ll get them paid and then work on getting her moved in with you.”

  I let out a very unmanly shriek when a mouse scurries across the floor, jumping onto the sofa like a five-year-old girl.

  “What the hell happened?”

  “There’s fucking mice! She’s moving now. I’m calling movers!”

  His laughter fills the line, making me scowl. This isn’t funny. Rodents are nasty.

  “Let me talk to her first, okay? I doubt she’ll be happy if everything she owns get delivered to my apartment without her knowing.”

  “Wake her the fuck up and ask! I’m not letting Little L stay in this piece of shit apartment!”

  “Alright, I’m going, jeez. Give me an hour.”

  “I’m not staying here! I’ll be in my car until I hear from you... it’s nicer than this fucking place.”

  I hang up to Parker laughing at me again. Fucker.

  I jump from the couch to a chair, reaching as far as I can to grab the stuff Logan wanted off the table. I scan the floor for more mice before I hop off and dart to the door. The second I open it, another mouse scurries past me. I shriek, running out of there faster than I’ve ever ran before. I’m pretty sure I could win a marathon with how fast I’m running.

  I rip open my car down and drop into the seat, slamming the door behind me. Fuck this shit. I’m never going back in there ever again.

  Logan doesn’t have a choice; she’s not staying here. If she won’t move in with Parker, I’ll get a condo for her in our building.

  35

  Parker

  I PACE THE WIDTH OF my living room; I’ve been wanting to ask Logan to move in with me since she had surgery. That was almost six weeks ago. But I was afraid she’d say no. She had so much going on; I didn’t want to add any stress. If she didn’t want to move in, I didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t stay here while she was recovering.

  “Mr. Scott, why are you pacing?” Her raspy voice is sexy as hell.

  “I thought I told you not to call me Mr. Scott,” I groan, discretely adjusting myself.

  “Why are you pacing, babe?” Logan gives me a soft smile, her beautiful eyes locked on me.

  “I wanted to talk to you about two things... I was waiting for you to wake up.”

  “Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you nervous before... Well? What do you want to talk about?”

  I suck in a breath and blow it out slowly. Why am I so nervous? She’s right, I'm never scared of anything. But this is a big deal. If she says no... I don’t know what I’ll do.

  “Parker? You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

  “I want you to move in with me,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. I wince when her eyes widen.

  She doesn’t say a word, doesn’t even move a muscle. She blinks once... twice... three times. It’s the only sign she’s even alive. Fuck.

  “Logan? Baby? Please say something.”

  “I... I don’t know what to say... We haven’t even known each other for that long... Are you sure you want this?” She gestures between the two of us.

  “I'm abso-fucking-lutely positive. If I didn’t want you living here, I never woulda forced you to stay here for the last six weeks. I love you, Logan. I don’t want you to ever leave.”

  “Ok,” She whispers.

  “Ok?” My brows furrow together. “I tell you I love you; I want you to move in and never let you leave... And you say ok? Seriously? What the fuck, Logan!”

  A slow smile spreads across those plump lips I want to kiss and nibble on. It takes time but she gets out of bed and strolls over to me. She still can't raise her arms too high, so she settles on wrapping her arms around my waist. She gazes up at me with amusement in her eyes.

  “Ok as in, ok let’s do it. Let’s move in together.”

  “Really? You want to move in with me?”

  “I do... but first we need to do something.”

  “What? I’d do anything at this point.”

  I stare down at her, a smirk tugs on the corner of her lips. She runs her hands as far up my chest as she can without causing herself any pain.

  “What do we need to do, baby?”

  “This...” She whispers softly.

  She stands up on her tippy toes, pressing her soft lips against my own. I'm stunned for a moment before I spring into action. I grip her hips, tugging her against me. I hold her tight, deepening our kiss until she’s moaning in my arms. Her tongue swipes against my bottom lip, begging to tangle with my own. I can't get enough of her, she tastes amazing, her kisses are full of desire and passion.

  I take slow steps forward until I’ve backed her up against the bed. I lift her carefully, placing her on her back, then straddle her body. She giggles when I place a kiss on her neck, then her jaw. I kiss every inch of exposed skin before I pull back.

  She bites into her red and swollen lip, her eyes sparkling up at me. Her fingers slide under my t-shirt, running along my abs.

  “I thought we should probably kiss before we move in together,” She whispers, tugging on my shirt until I go back in for another kiss.

  “I can't believe it took us that long to have our first kiss. Don’t people normally kiss before professing their love for someone?”

  “Yup, that’s how people normally do it... But Owen-”

  “Is a mother fucker.” She giggles softly.

  “We came close quite a few times.”

  “We also came close to me bending you over my desk and-”

  My phone rings loudly, I groan and roll my eyes. It’s Owen’s ringtone.

  “That mother fucker!... What the fuck do you want now?” I growl into the phone.

  “Did you ask her?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, she said no?”

  “No, she said yes.”

  “Then why do you sound like a miserable son of a bitch?”

  “Because you’re always ruining shit.”

  “Were you fucking her?” His voice rises, equal parts hope and surpri
se.

  “No.”

  “Kissing? Have you even kissed her yet? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you kiss her, Parker!”

  Logan giggles, ripping the phone away from my ear and puts it on speaker phone.

  “Yes, you’re ruining us kissing.” She grins up at me like she just won the lottery.

  “So, you’re moving in?”

  “Yup. He’s mine.”

  “Good, then I can hire a moving company and get your shit out of that dump.”

  “No, I can pack my own stuff.”

  “Fuck that! It’s gonna take you weeks before you can lift anything. I'm hiring people.”

  “Owen! No! Why can't you just leave it go?”

  “Because there’s fucking mice here! That’s nasty! I'm gonna kill that little asshole.”

  “No! Don’t kill Nibbles!”

  “Please tell me you didn’t name the fucking mouse. Parker? Tell me she’s joking and didn’t name the mouse!”

  “He’s my friend.” Her cheeks heat, a shy expression filling her features.

  “I think she’s serious, Owen.” I chuckle, I know exactly what Owen looks like right now.

  He’s terrified of rodents. Mice, hamsters, chipmunks. Anything that’s quick and small scares him.

  “He’s a damn mouse! He should be killed!”

  “Yes, he’s a mouse, but I like him. He knows not to come in my room.”

  “How in the hell do you know he doesn’t come in your room? Do you know for sure?”

  “Well, no, I don’t know for sure that he stays outta my room.”

  “I screamed so loud when I saw that thing scurry across your floor, your neighbors probably thought someone was trying to murder a cat.”

  “You’re such a drama queen, you know that?”

  “Your stuff will be delivered to Parker’s on Monday,” He growls into the phone.

  “I’m sorry Nibbles scared you... Do you think you can catch him so I can keep him as a pet?”

  “Fuck no! If he got outta his cage he could get in my condo!”

  “Like I said, drama queen.” Logan rolls her eyes, a shit-eating grin on her face.

  “Ok, we’re hanging up. I wanna kiss my woman.”

  I end the call before Owen can argue, drop down to my elbows and kiss Logan, showing her exactly how I feel about her without words.

  36

  Logan

  “WAIT!” I NUDGE PARKER back. He shakes his head, dipping back down to continue kissing me, I turn my head to the side at the last second, causing him to kiss my neck instead of my lips. He doesn’t seem to mind. I can feel his smile against my skin, his warm breath making me shiver.

  “Parker...” I moan embarrassingly loud. “You said you wanted to talk to me about two things... What’s the other thing?”

  “My parents are coming for dinner,” He mumbles against my neck.

  “Wait, what! What time?”

  “Around six.”

  I glance at the clock, it’s already quarter after four. Panic sweeps through me. I’ve never met a boyfriend’s parents before and I'm definitely not going to do it in ratty clothes and messy hair with no makeup.

  “Get off me! I need to go get ready!”

  “No, baby, you look beautiful.”

  “Parker! I won't move in with you if you don’t let me look pretty.”

  He sits back on his heels, still straddling my waist. Amusement lights up his eyes, a slow smirk spreading across his lips.

  “You already look pretty, stunning in fact.”

  “Oh shush, I look like crap.”

  The door swings open, I let out a yelp thinking Parker’s parents came early... they didn’t.

  “Owen! You scared the crap outta me!” I scowl at him.

  His eyes are wide before they narrow with a big cheeky grin.

  “Did I interrupt something?”

  “Don’t you always?” Parker mutters under his breath.

  “I can sit and wait while you finish. I don’t mind watching.”

  “Nope! We’re done! I need to get beautiful.”

  “You already are, Little L.” Owen raises a brow, pointing a finger at me. He drops onto the couch, making himself comfortable.

  “Aww, thanks, Owen. That’s so sweet.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now? I just told you I thought you looked beautiful and you told me to get off you or you weren’t moving in, but this jackass gets an aww that’s so sweet.” Parker mimics me. Owen barks out a laugh, he laughs so hard he rolls off the couch and onto the floor with a loud thump.

  “But you’re my man, you’re required to tell me I'm pretty.” I bat my lashes at him, feigning innocence.

  “You’re lucky I love you and think that’s really cute.”

  He grips my chin, placing a firm kiss on my lips before he rolls off of me and lets me go.

  “Tell me when they’re here!... Owen! Where’s my makeup?”

  He swipes a finger under each eye, clearing away the tears from his laughter and points to a big bag by the front door. I grab the box then a devilish grin breaks across my lips. This is gonna be great.

  I pull a big fluffy makeup brush out of my box, slipping the handle up the sleeve of my sweatshirt, stroking it like a pet. I glance over at Parker, he shoves his tongue in his cheek, trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

  “Aww, you did bring Nibbles! That’s the sweetest thing ever, Big Man!”

  “What! How’d that fucking thing get in there!” His scream is higher pitched than I’d ever expect from a man like Owen.

  He jumps on the couch, moving as far back as he can. I walk slowly towards him, petting my makeup brush.

  “No! Logan! Get the fuck away from me!”

  “Aww, C’mon, Owen. It’s just a little itty bitty mouse. He doesn’t bite... normally. But with how loud you’re screaming you might scare him enough to bite.”

  “What the hell is going on in here?” Lucas walks in the door, his brows furrowed together.

  “She’s got a fucking mouse! She named it!”

  “Do you wanna pet Nibbles?”

  I spin on my heels, making my way over to Lucas. I slip the handle of the makeup brush out of my sweatshirt, showing him what it really is. He’s able to keep himself composed, but just barely. He pinches his lips together in a straight line.

  “You’re gonna give him a damn heart attack, you know that, right?”

  “How is he this scared?”

  “I have no clue. It’s not like he’s ever lived in a house with mice, his mom woulda set it on fire.”

  “Don’t pet it! Kill it!” Owen’s face pales when Lucas rubs his hand over my brush.

  “He’s cute. What’s his name?”

  “Nibbles.” I smirk, chuckling softly since my back is turned to Owen.

  I spin on my heels, speed walking towards Owen. He lets out another shriek, one that threatens to burst my eardrum. When I reach the couch, he jumps onto the coffee table then over to a chair. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get on the floor. The mouse is in my hands, not on the floor, but whatever.

  “C’mon, Owen, he wants to meet you.”

  “I swear to you, Logan. If you bring that fucking thing near me, I'm gonna kill it.”

  In one quick motion, I pull the brush out of my sleeve and chuck it at Owen, while screaming “Nibbles! No!”

  The brush hits him in the chest, a blood curdling scream erupts from him. He stumbles backwards, flipping over the chair, screaming even louder. A loud thump followed by a groan and another shriek fills the air.

  I can't hold it in anymore. I gently drop onto the couch, clutching my stomach, tears streaming down my cheeks. I’ve never seen such a big muscular man this scared before.

  Parker’s rolling on the bed, laughing so hard I'm afraid he’s going to pee on my bed I love so much. Lucas is facing away from me, but with how hard his body is shaking, he’s either laughing insanely hard, or he’s having a seizure.

  Owen’s head
peeks over the top of the chair, he narrows his eyes on me. My brush gets tossed at me, hitting me square in the forehead. I try to pinch my lips together but another round of laughter bubbles out of me.

  “I don’t like you very much.” Owen stands up, brushing off his pants and marches out the door, shutting it softly behind him.

  “Oh my gosh! That was amazing.” Lucas sucks in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy who can scream like that.” Parker throws an arm over his face.

  “Dammit! He’s mad at me now!” I groan, letting my head fall back in the couch cushion.

  “What’d you expect, babe? He’s more sensitive than people think. You just took his biggest fear and literally threw it at him.” He starts laughing all over again, Lucas joins him.

  I let out a deep sigh and stand. I step over Lucas’s body and stop with my hand on the doorknob.

  “Is Owen’s the left or the right?”

  They’re laughing so hard they can't talk. The both point to the left, never even looking my way.

  I knock softly on the door to the left, praying he doesn’t hate me as much as I think he does. When he doesn’t answer, I twist the knob, surprised to find it open.

  I walk in the door, shocked at how gorgeous his condo is. It’s set up just like Parker’s, but so different. He has dark leather furniture and a very minimal number of things. It looks more like a bachelor pad than Parker’s, but it fits him. I tip toe through the living room, but I don’t see him.

  “Owen?” I call out, I don’t want to scare him again.

  “Go away!”

  I follow the sound of his voice, pushing open the last door at the end of the hallway. Owen’s laying on his bed in a pair of low-slung sweatpants and nothing else.

  Skin is stretched taunt over his muscular back, tattoos covering most of his skin. His body is a work of art in more ways than one.

  “Owen...” I gently drop onto the bed next to him, cuddling up to his side. “I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you.”

  “It’s fine. You can go back to Parker’s.”

  “No, it’s not fine. I love you; you mean the world to me. I never shoulda done that.”