Silent Night

by Emma Couette

  “Interesting choices,” he says.

  “I suppose,” I reply. “They were the easiest to learn and the easiest to stay good at.”

  He nods. “That makes sense. Now, aren’t you going to ask me where we’re going?”

  “Sure,” I say. “Where are we going?”

  He grins. “You’ll see when we get there.”

  …

  We leave the Resistance the same way I came in. It’s hard to believe that was already two weeks ago. It doesn’t seem like much has happened.

  I’m kind of nervous to be leaving the base and venturing out into the open. The Charger will still be looking for me and if I’m seen with a Resistance member, it’s game over. He’ll seal all of the entrances I know of and place guards at the others day and night in case I find them. Not to mention the hunters he’s sent after me. He’ll have learned from his previous mistake after losing Three and possibly Anane. He might send One after me, and if he does, I’m screwed.

  So, it is with much trepidation that I step out of the abandoned warehouse and into the street. We leave the field of pavement behind and start heading south towards the more populated parts of Haven.

  I notice now how hollow the city is, the way both the buildings and people seem empty. It's a stark contrast to the Resistance. People shuffle by with their hoods down, clutching their parcels tightly. They don’t seem to notice Ajax and I or care about the obvious weapons we carry.

  The buildings around us droop, like flowers after a hard rain. Porches sag and lean, as if trying to escape the damage. Roofs are as tattered as the coats beggars pull tighter against the wind. Brick bungalows seem sunken under the weight of the past hundred years.

  And here I was, thinking the Resistance was grey and dull. Haven is faded. What colour that manages to pop through the cracked sidewalks is out of place. Haven City is a graveyard just waiting for the rest of us to call it quits, and it won’t hesitate to help us get there quicker.

  My lectures have taught me that Haven was a grand city in its youth, that its buildings scraped the sky, but looking around now, it’s hard to imagine that. Haven’s past is but a memory that is slowly fading into its broken storefronts and barren streets.

  As we walk west, the pavement beneath our feet becomes an ankle nightmare, one wrong step and you’d be hobbling for life. The asphalt isn’t so much cracked as cratered. The Charger made us race each other through these streets at midnight when the other Guild Wards and I were seven. If you couldn’t make it to the finish line on your own two feet or by dragging yourself if necessary, you were left to die.

  We walk in silence until I say, “Why won’t you tell me where we’re going?”

  “Because,” he replies.

  “Ugh, can’t you at least give me a hint? Is it a secret or something?”

  “In a manner of speaking... Look, all I can say is that it’s a place you might recognize.”

  I narrow my eyes.

  “Would you just wait until we get there?” he asks me. “You’ll understand then.”

  “Fine,” I say, crossing my arms, “but if it’s something ridiculous, you’ll be sorry.”

  “We’ll see,” he replies.

  He leads me to Haven’s east end, to where the houses thin out into fields. We pass the railway tracks and head out into the vast open space of the farming district. Ajax guides me down walking trails through the various crops spread around us. Cabbage patches make way for rows of carrots. Stalks of wheat brush our shoulders as they rustle in the wind.

  “What are you expecting to find out here?” I ask him.

  He sighs. “We’re almost there. Can you keep your questions for five more minutes?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Well, you better figure it out.”

  I scowl and stick my tongue out at him when he turns his back.

  Finally, he comes to a stop on top of a small grassy hill.

  “What is this place?”

  “One second,” he replies. He walks down to the base of the hill and into a ditch made by a long dried up stream. “Some Resistance members discovered this last week,” he continues. “After years of searching, we think we might have finally found something and Jenson has sent the two of us to check it out.”

  “What? Spit it out already, would you?”

  He hops into the ditch and pulls apart a clump of weeds to reveal a metal manhole cover.

  “What the... What is it?”

  He gives me a strange look. “I’m surprised you don’t know. We believe this could be an entrance to the Guild.”

  I dissolve into a fit of laughter, but cut myself short when I notice the unamused expression on his face. “Wait,” I say, “are you serious?”

  He crosses his arms. “Why would I joke about this?”

  “It’s just…” I pause, trying to find the words. “It’s preposterous,” I go on. “Why in the Guild would we put an entrance in the middle of nowhere, in a ditch in the farming district?” I stick my nose up at the tall grass around us, at the barrenness of the land. This is not a place fit for assassins. The farming district is where the poor find refuge, where people toil away day in and day out to feed our crumbling city.

  “Why wouldn’t you?” Ajax argues. “The most unlikely places are always a good choice.”

  I snort at his logic. “Well, for starters, we reside in the south end of Haven.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “So the rumours are true then?”

  I throw my hands in the air. “Everyone knows that! Why do you think no one lives there? The houses are in perfect condition.”

  “We couldn’t be certain. It didn’t make sense for your hiding place to be so well known. We figured you must have put out false rumours to shake us out. Besides, people do make up stories and though we concentrate most of our efforts there, we’ve yet to find a trace of you.”

  “That’s because we don’t want to be found.” I stare at him with eyes of steel. “Look, Ajax, if you brought me here to trick me into giving you information, you’re wasting your breath and my valuable time. I told Jenson I would tell him everything and I will, as soon as he has the presence of mind to listen. This,” I gesture to the manhole, “is just insulting.”

  Silence descends. Ajax looks at me as if I’ve transformed into a horrifying monster. In a way, I have. He’s never seen this side of me, the side I’ve been locking away for the past two weeks. The lock has broken.

  “Silent, honestly,” he says, running his fingers against his forehead, “that’s not my intention. Calm down. You’ll get an audience with Jenson as soon as we trust you.”

  My heart clenches, dropping like a stone into my stomach. “You said you did.”

  “I do,” he assures me, “it’s the rest of them that don’t.”

  It’s a quick response and I don’t entirely believe it. Faith is an even trickier concept than trust.

  “This mission is one of the steps in gaining the council’s trust, in gaining Jenson’s trust,” Ajax goes on, ignoring my frown. “So just humour them and help me investigate this, even if you don’t agree with our assumption. If we follow this lead and it turns out to be nothing, it’ll be a sign to trust your judgment in the future. If it is an entrance to the Guild, you’ll have helped us find an in. Either way, you win.”

  I sigh. “All right, I see your point. Let’s check it out then, but I’m telling you, you’re wrong.”

  It takes the two of us to lift the manhole cover up and drop it in the ditch, barely missing our toes. It rolls a few feet before settling in the dense weeds of the ditch. In the hole below, a metal ladder descends into the dark.

  “Ladies first,” Ajax says, bowing to me.

  I roll my eyes. “If you insist.” I adjust my sword on my belt and lower myself into the hole, making sure my boots won’t slip before I descend into the gloom.

  Ajax follows, about two feet above my head.

  I get a strong sense of deja vu as I continue. I feel like I’m in the
Guild again; similar ladders through the dark are not too distant memories. Even though I know this can’t be an entrance, a part of me still feels it and I shiver.

  We reach the bottom a couple of minutes later and find ourselves properly in the dark. I can feel a dirt floor beneath my boots and know, from experience, that there’s a tunnel in front of me. It’s about three feet wide and a foot taller than Ajax.

  Lucky him.

  “Let’s go,” I say.

  “Wait,” Ajax says, dropping to the ground behind me. I can’t see him, but I hear the crunch of his boots against the earth. “How do you know where you’re going? It’s pitch black.”

  I give him a look. “My name is Silent Night, genius; I grew up in the dark. I learned long ago to navigate without the help of light.”

  “Well, would you care to enlighten me?”

  I roll my eyes at his poor joke, glad he can’t see. “There’s a tunnel in front of us heading west,” I tell him. “It’s about three feet wide and tall enough for the both of us to walk without stooping. Is that good enough for you?”

  “Perfect, thank you. How far do you think it goes?”

  “No idea, but if this is an assassin entrance, we’ll have to watch out for traps. Stick close to me and you’ll be fine.”

  “As long as you know what you’re doing.”

  …

  We walk for what seems like forever, but is only about twenty minutes. We haven’t spoken since Ajax insisted we light a torch and I snapped at him for being impractical. He’s pouting now, but I’m not the least bit sorry. What happens if we do encounter assassins? We’ll hardly be able to hide from them with a fire alerting them to our presence, but poor little Ajax can’t handle the dark.

  Weakling. Scared little boy.

  “Hey, would it kill you to be louder?” he asks. “The silence is unnerving.”

  I turn around and glare at him.

  He grimaces under the weight of my gaze. “I’ll take that as a yes then,” he says.

  “Would it kill you to put out that forsaken light?” I retort, raising my volume. “No, but still you insist on keeping it. My name is Silent Night. Silent. The whole point is that I don’t make any noise!”

  He winces. “You’re being pretty loud now.”

  “That’s because you’re infuriating me!” I clench my fists at my side to keep from lashing out and pause for breath. “I should’ve just killed you,” I mutter, “still could.”

  He looks at me sharply. “What?”

  “Back in the cell when I first met you, I should’ve killed you then, so I wouldn’t have to deal with this.”

  “And how were you going to manage that? You were weaponless.”

  “Well, I’m not now, so shut up if you know what’s good for you, and like you said, I didn’t need a weapon to kill you.”

  Ajax’s face is white and I bet if I raised a hand to his cheek, it would be cold to the touch.

  Good. He should be scared. It would teach him not to mess with me.

  “Look, Silent, can we just—”

  I whirl on him, drawing my sword. He throws his hands in the air as I point the tip at his throat, barely an inch away from his skin. The torch clatters to the ground and rolls away, sputtering before going out. Darkness crashes in around us and I can feel the tension in the air, even as the darkness calms me. I can almost hear the frantic beating of Ajax’s heart.

  “You know, I don’t have to kill you to shut you up,” I croon in the silence, “cutting out your tongue is just as effective and three times as painful.” It would be so easy to kill him, to lean forward and…

  I hear his feet scrambling away, boots scuffing against the dirt, and a moment later the torch sparks to life again, illuminating him standing a few feet away from me.

  He looks at me, eyes wide with...sadness.

  What?

  I lower my sword, the threat pointless now. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask him. “I was serious.”

  “I know,” he says, “and I’m sorry. I’m sorry your life was so terrible it left an emotionless shell behind. I’m sorry threatening people is one of the only things that brings you joy, but it doesn't have to be this way. You can change, Silent, but you have to want it.” He walks around me then without another glance and heads down the tunnel, flame bobbing in the shadows.

  I stand frozen by his words.

  Is there nothing left of me? I wonder. Am I just an empty shell? And what if I am? Can I go back? Is there any redemption for someone like me?

  No.

  “Are you coming?” Ajax calls out.

  “Yes,” I reply. I turn around and follow him through the dark.

  Ten minutes later, we come to another ladder. Ajax hands me the torch to hold and goes up first, returning a few seconds later.

  “I need your help to push up the manhole cover,” he says. “It’s too heavy for me to lift on my own.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I snuff out the torch and climb up the ladder with him.

  We push both our hands against the metal cover to lift it up. Then we slide it over slowly and silently. Ajax pulls a gun out of his belt and pokes his head out of the hole.

  “Anything?” I whisper.

  He doesn’t answer.

  “Ajax? What’s happening?”

  “Silent, you have to see this.” His voice is full of awe. It prompts me to take another step up the ladder and poke my own head out.

  I don’t believe my eyes.

  We’re in a warehouse, and it’s full to the brim with boxes and crates of food: fresh fruit and vegetables, bread, crackers, pastas, bottles of water and juice... I recognize it all from the meal line in the Grand Cavern.

  Is this...? It can’t be.

  Ajax jumps out of the hole and starts to walk around.

  “What are you doing?” I snap. “There could be booby traps or assassins guarding the door.”

  He ignores me and keeps walking.

  I sigh and jump up to trail behind him, drawing my sword as a precaution.

  “So, you think this belongs to the assassins?” he asks as I catch up.

  “Yes,” I confess, “this is the kind of food we eat.”

  “Funny, ‘cause these are the exact shipment contents of the trains that are raided. Guess we know where that disappears to and who takes it.”

  “I guess,” I reply.

  “We’ll give the place a thorough search,” he goes on, “and see where the front door leads.”

  “It won’t be connected to the Guild,” I say.

  “And how do you know that?”

  I put my hands on my hips. “I just do.”

  “All right,” he says, shrugging.

  I know he doesn’t believe me, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t believe me either.

  We scour the first and second floors, finding no assassins or traps. From the second story window, we confirm that there are no guards outside and that the warehouse leads to an empty city street in the south end. I was right.

  “Where to now?” I ask.

  “Home, I guess,” Ajax replies. “We’ve done all we can. We’ll leave the same way we came in, in case they have someone watching the place.”

  “I agree.”

  “Let’s go then.” He puts his gun back in his pocket and we go back downstairs.

  We drop down into the tunnel, replacing the manhole cover after us, as if we were never there at all.

  CHAPTER TEN

  A couple of hours later, we stand in front of the door to my room.

  I hold out my sword. “Here,” I say, “you’ll want this back, I suppose.”

  “Keep it,” he replies.

  “What? After everything I did today, after I threatened to kill you?”

  “But you didn’t go through with it,” he says, “and I meant what I said before. I trust you. You’re an assassin. I’d be more worried and even suspicious if you hadn’t threatened me. It’s a gut reaction for you; it’s the way your entire life has worked.
I can’t expect you to change in two weeks, not even a month. None of us can.”

  I grimace. “So, what, you’re saying there’s no hope for me?”

  He presses a hand into his forehead. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you need more time to adjust. I’m saying I’m not angry at your actions today, though I want to be. I’m saying I still trust you.” He takes a breath. “Keep the sword. I’ll see you at one o’clock so we can give Jenson our report.”

  He walks away and I stare at him in disbelief until he’s out of sight.

  …

  I’m sitting on my bed sharpening my sword when a knock comes on my door. The Resistance members never confiscated my whetstones and the butter knife under my mattress would cut through flesh quite nicely now. It’s around twelve thirty in the afternoon and I just returned from lunch.

  “It’s not locked,” I call out, “come in.”

  I hear the knob turn and the door open, but I don’t look up.

  “So this is the festering hole they cage you in,” a girl’s voice mutters.

  Why if it isn’t miss Priss Roseanne.

  I raise my head and give her a look of absolute boredom. “Careful,” I say, “I’m the one holding a sword.”

  She takes the tiniest unconscious step back and I smile.

  “That’s exactly why you shouldn’t be here,” she retorts. “You should be in a cage.”

  “Well, unluckily for you, they trust me.”

  “Hopefully not for much longer,” she says, smiling. “They’ll see the errors of their ways soon enough. Until then, we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

  Joy.

  “And why is that?” I ask.

  “My father assigned me to a room in this hall.”

  Translation: daddy dearest wants her to keep an eye on me. Guess he doesn’t want her to live to see her next birthday.

  “Why should I care?” I ask, setting down my sword and crossing my arms.

  “I thought you should know so you can stay the hell out of my way.”

  “That’s a fine tongue for a princess.”

  “And this is a fine place for an assassin,” she counters.