Silent Night

by Emma Couette

  I look over at him and he nods.

  “She didn’t die, Ajax,” I sigh. “The Charger murdered her.”

  His eyes widen. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry.” It’s his turn to squeeze my hand.

  “Thanks,” I say, smiling slightly. “So that’s why I left, because I discovered the truth, because he ruined my life and I didn’t want to work for him anymore.”

  “But why did you come to us?”

  “Because I want to kill him and I can’t do it alone.”

  “I see,” he breathes and we sit in silence for a moment.

  In the silence, his hand in mine becomes a weight, something foreign. I’ve never come this close to anyone since my mom died, let alone comforted someone. I never would’ve thought I would hold the hand of my enemy.

  Carefully, as if to avoid offending him, I slide my hand out of his grip and shift about an inch away, folding my hands in my lap.

  He doesn’t react and I’m relieved.

  “What was her name?” he asks.

  “What?” I didn’t expect him to carry on the conversation.

  “Your mother,” he says. “What was her name?”

  “Oh,” I reply. “Ismae. Her name was Ismae Ballinger.” I’m surprised at myself; I’ve never told anyone that before. It’s something I’ve kept locked inside my heart.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Sounds exotic,” he muses. “Is yours exotic too?”

  “What?”

  “Your name, is it unusual? You do have a real name, don’t you?” He pokes me in the arm.

  “Of course I do, and no, I don’t think it is. My mother always told me my father chose it. Why do you ask?”

  “I’m just wondering. You wouldn’t care to share it, would you?”

  I scowl.

  He holds up his hands in surrender. “No need to get testy. I was just asking.”

  He waits a moment and then asks, “You mind if I guess?”

  I shrug. “Knock yourself out.”

  He grins. “It wouldn’t by chance be Shirley or Bernadette?”

  My scowl deepens.

  “Kidding, kidding,” he says. “Hmmmm...” He puts a hand on his chin and looks to be deep in thought for a minute. “Kate?”

  “No.”

  “Lily?”

  “Certainly not,” I scoff.

  “Oh, what about Elizabeth?”

  “Do I look like an Elizabeth?”

  He narrows his eyes. “On second thought, no. You’re more of an Alexa or Taylor. What about Hunter?”

  “No, but you’re getting closer. Think on it for a while, but there is something I need to discuss with you.”

  He sighs. “Fine, what’s up?”

  “I had a meeting with Jenson and the others. Stage One is a go.”

  “Awesome,” he says with a smile. “I’m glad they finally came around.”

  “It took a bit of convincing,” I admit.

  “I’ll bet. So what’s the plan?”

  “You and I are heading to the Guild tomorrow.”

  Fear, cold and raw, flashes in his eyes. “We... We are?”

  “Yes,” I reply. “Does that bother you? I could take Bast or Blake instead.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m coming. It’s just... Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

  “It’ll be fine. We just need to see if I can still access my entrances. If we do it right, we’ll be in and out of there before breakfast, with none of them the wiser.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Someone will drop off a set of clothes for you tonight. Wear it tomorrow and fill all the weapon holders. That’s crucial. We have to fit in.”

  “Okay, I got it.”

  “Good,” I say. “I guess that’s it then.”

  He smiles. “In that case... I’m thinking you’re probably a Leah.”

  I wince. “You’re getting colder, my friend.”

  “Claire?”

  “No.”

  “Tia?”

  “Nope.”

  “Laura?”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  It’s five o’clock and the four of us are sitting around our table, discussing our plans for the next few days. I tell them about my meeting and Ajax and I’s mission. They wish us luck and Blake makes me promise to bring Ajax back in one piece.

  She needn't worry. I won’t let anything happen to him, which is strange of me to say, but it’s the truth. I don’t want to lose him.

  “You want me to bring you back a souvenir, Bast?” I ask.

  “Nah,” he says, “we’ve already got one and she’s this really bitchy assassin...” He looks up at me in mock horror. “Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”

  “Shut up!” I exclaim and Blake defends me by nailing him in the arm with her fist.

  “Ow!” he gasps. “What was that for?”

  She shrugs. “Disrespect, immaturity, being an idiot... You take your pick.”

  He grins at her. “That’s what you love about me.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Oh, sure.”

  “I know!” Ajax yells out. “It’s Erin.”

  I smile and reply, “Wrong again. Sure you don’t want to give up?”

  “Positive.”

  “Wait, what?” Blake says.

  “What are you going on about, man?” Bast asks.

  “Ajax here,” I reply, “has taken it upon himself to find out what my real name is.”

  “Interesting,” Bast says. “Mind if I join?”

  I cross my arms, smiling. “Not at all.”

  He turns to Ajax. “What have you tried so far?”

  Ajax rhymes them all off.

  Blake looks at them both with pity. “Good luck, boys,” she says, “but if Night doesn’t want you to know, I doubt you’ll ever figure it out.”

  I smile at her.

  How right she is.

  “Quiet,” Bast replies. “This table is positive talk only.”

  She smiles. “Fine, then I am positive this is a waste of your time.”

  Bast frowns and I laugh. “Nice one, Blake,” I say.

  “I try, Night. I try.”

  It’s Ajax and Bast’s turn to wield the twin death glares and it sends the four of us into a laughing fit. I kind of see what Ajax was talking about when he told me to live. I’ve never felt so free and never have I laughed so often. I smile fondly and vow to remember these moments forever.

  Then I see someone out of the corner of my eye that makes my happy mood fizzle out into distaste.

  “Don’t look now, but her highness has arrived,” I drawl.

  The three of them immediately turn in the direction I’m facing.

  I roll my eyes. “I said don’t look now.”

  They whirl back to face me.

  “Well, we’ve definitely caught her attention now,” I complain. “You guys would make terrible assassins.”

  “Maybe,” Bast says, “maybe not. For example... Did you see me do that?”

  I narrow my eyes. “Do what?”

  “Exactly,” he replies, grinning.

  I roll my eyes again.

  Ajax smacks him in the arm. “That’s for a ninja, you dimwit.”

  Our banter is interrupted by a honeyed voice. “Hello, darlings.”

  I can tell from the way my skin crawls that she is standing directly behind me. I scowl, but try to sound bored as I mutter, “Roseanne.”

  Beside me, Ajax shifts to face her and says, “What do you want, Natalie?”

  “I just thought I’d check in,” she replies, moving around Ajax into my line of vision, “see how things were going with you.”

  She gives him a smile that he doesn’t return and I want to laugh at how oblivious she is. Ajax is not interested in anything she has to offer. The only thing I imagine that tight grey uniform is doing for her is cutting off her circulation.

  Still, she places a hand on his shoulder and I bristle, u
ntil he shrugs it off by turning further in his seat.

  I give her a smile in his stead, but it doesn’t reach my fiery eyes. “Things were going great,” I drawl, “that is, until you showed up.”

  Bast snickers.

  Natalie gives me a severe look. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me,” I say. “I don’t appreciate your presence. In fact, I recall us discussing this. Didn’t I tell you to stay out of my way? Didn’t I say the results would be less than pretty if you refused?”

  “As if you are fulfilling your end of the bargain,” she retorts.

  I roll my eyes. “I’ve done nothing; I can promise you that,” I say, “and even if I had, what are you going to do about it?”

  I glance across the table at Bast and Blake. They are looking thoroughly confused at the mention of a bargain.

  “I have the power to make your life miserable,” Natalie replies.

  “I have the power to kill you without straining myself in the least.”

  “Please, Assassin,” she says, waving me off. “I’m not afraid of you.”

  “You should be.”

  She walks back around Ajax to stand beside me. She leans down, bracing herself against the table with her right hand. She’s trying to make it as if we’re having our own private conversation, though I know the other three are hanging on our every word.

  “I don’t particularly care what you think, Assassin,” she whispers. “You can’t touch me.”

  Is that so?

  My lips twitch into a smile for a second. Then, before either of us can blink, I whip a knife out of my belt and slam it down, point first, between her splayed fingers.

  She screams and jumps back, bringing her hand up to her face for inspection.

  Bast bursts into laughter and Ajax gives me a warning look, but I can tell he’s forcing back a smile of his own.

  Natalie looks at me like I’m a wild beast. “What is wrong with you?” she snaps. “You...you could’ve killed me. My daddy will hear of this and you’ll go right back to the dark hole you came from!”

  She’s reminding me of her threats from yesterday, but I don’t particularly care. I have witnesses here, allies.

  “Oh, put a sock in it, Roseanne,” I tell her. “It would hardly have killed you. You might’ve lost a finger, but death was not a possibility.”

  Sadly, I add in my head.

  “Why you... I hope you’re going to lock her in her room for the rest of the day after that stunt, Ajax,” she says, turning her eyes on him.

  “Not likely,” he says.

  She gives him a look of complete shock. “What do you mean? She needs to be punished.”

  “And you need to learn how to read people. She warned you. As far as I’m concerned, Natalie, you provoked her. Should I tell your father that?”

  “What happened to the man who prided himself on absolving violence?”

  “I’m still here, Natalie,” he replies, “you’re just too blind to see you caused this violence yourself.”

  “I don’t understand why you would accuse me—”

  “Save it, Natalie,” he interrupts her. “You should go before this gets worse.”

  “Yeah,” I agree. “Get out of here, princess, or the next knife will bury itself into your head.”

  She lingers a second more and then struts off, fuming.

  I cross my arms and turn back to the others. Ajax is giving me a funny look.

  “What?” I say.

  He smiles. “You’re something else, you know that right?”

  “Well, I should hope so.” I pull the knife out of the table top and tuck it back in my belt, grinning the whole time. “What about you? I didn’t think you’d have the nerve to call her out like that.”

  “I probably wouldn’t have, but she had the nerve to threaten one of my teammates and I don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour.” He smiles at me.

  I smile back.

  We all turn back to our dinner and peace has almost been restored when Bast says, “So, when’s the wedding?”

  I look up at him. “What wedding?”

  “Jax and her highness,” Bast replies with a huge grin.

  Ajax chokes on whatever he was eating and drops his fork.

  Bast erupts into a fit of laughter and after a second, I can’t help but join.

  “Man,” Bast gasps. “The look on your face!”

  Ajax scowls at him. “Four words: Over. My. Dead. Body.”

  I grin at him. “I can arrange that.”

  He looks at me. “If I ever consider Natalie as a mate, please do.”

  “Aw, come on, Jax, man.” Bast says, “She’s not that bad.”

  We all look at him for a second in silence and then the four of us let our laughter go.

  …

  I wake up the next morning around six o’clock to prepare myself. I haul my assassin clothes out of the closet and slip them on, wincing at the state of them, but they are more than necessary. If someone sees me, they’ll ask questions if I’m wearing a shiny new outfit. I asked for a new one at the meeting so I’d have an extra in my wardrobe.

  After I load the belts and sheaths with weapons, I drape my cloak over my outfit so I don’t have to look at it. Then I slip on my old boots and sit down on my bed.

  Ten minutes later finds me pacing the floor, cursing Ajax’s name.

  Where in the Guild is he?

  I pause long enough to cross my arms and glare at the door, as if that will help my mood.

  Well, you did wake up pretty early, I remind myself. Did you even tell him what time to meet you?

  I scowl and tell myself to shut up. I’d go eat breakfast to kill some time, but I never eat before a mission, it’s against my nature. I sigh and lie down on the bed.

  Staring at the ceiling, I go through my plan one more time. We need to go through downtown to get to the south end so we won’t attract attention and use my usual entrance so I don’t look suspicious if someone is watching. Then I need to make sure Ajax doesn’t die in the tunnel, get us to the Grand Cavern, and out through another tunnel.

  Easy.

  I sigh.

  If only.

  The door creaks open and I hear a familiar voice say, “Why the long face?”

  I sigh again as I stare at the ceiling. “This is going to be way more difficult than it sounds. We have a fifty percent chance of survival.”

  “That sounds bleak,” Ajax replies, “but maybe we should look at the bright side? You won’t succeed if you don’t believe you can.”

  I roll my eyes. “Stop lecturing me about that crap. It’s my turn to lecture.” I sit up. “Today is going to be hard enough. I need you to listen...” I trail off as I look at him.

  It’s as if I’m seeing him for the first time and I realize now that he is gorgeous. It takes putting him in assassin clothes for me to notice. Black is definitely his colour. The boots and pants are a perfect fit and the shirt has a comfortable tightness to it, showing off the chiseled ab muscles I didn’t even know he had. He wears the matching cloak with the hood up, making him look dangerous, but completely irresistible. His blue eyes meet mine and a part of me doesn’t want to look away.

  Shit.

  No. It can’t be happening. I have a strict rule…

  He smiles at me and I have to look away. I try to steady my heart before he can pick up on the change, before he notices the flush in my cheeks.

  “You were saying, Silent?” he asks me.

  “Oh, um...”

  Assassins below! I completely lost my train of thought. Damn him.

  “Um...” My mind is blank. All I can think of is his latent strength.

  “You were saying that I need to listen?” he prompts and I silently curse him, though I’m thankful for the reminder.

  I force myself to meet his gaze as I answer, struggling to keep my expression neutral. “Yes, I need you to listen to everything I say and obey without a second thought if you want to survive. The Guild is a dangerous place an
d you always have to be two steps ahead. If we somehow get separated, I want you to leave immediately. Do not come after me. I will find you.”

  “Listen to everything you say and leave you to die, got it.”

  I scowl at him.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” I reply. “Did you bring weapons like I told you to?”

  “Of course; I’m stocked up like an arsenal.” He eyes the weapons on his person as if he finds them offensive. I see even more beauty in the danger.

  “Good, then let’s go.” I try not to look at him as I walk out the door.

  As we head towards the Guild, I try to sort out my new revelation.

  I like Ajax.

  When did this even happen? The day I met him he was escorting me out of a dungeon at gunpoint and now the sight of him in black gives me butterflies, but I’m still the same person, aren’t I?

  Are you?

  The truth is, I don’t know. I’ve made friends and some new enemies, and I’m working towards the greater good for once, so I guess I have changed, but where does a crush on Ajax fit into all of that? When in the Guild did I fall?

  Maybe it was during all those times he told me he trusted me, maybe it was because nobody has ever looked at me the way he does, as if I have a future, as if I’m not a soulless monster. Maybe it’s the way his eyes sparkle when he laughs and how he makes me smile...

  Maybe it was all those things and more, but the truth still remains; I have feelings for him and I don’t know what in the hell I’m supposed to do with them.

  Of course, I have to notice all of this now, as if I don’t have enough to worry about with a trip to the Guild alongside a Resistance member. As if Ajax and I aren’t in enough danger already without me distracted by something as trivial as feelings.

  I shove the butterflies way down inside and vow to ignore their fluttering wings until we’re back safe and sound at the Warehouse. I’m not going to jeopardize our mission because I’ve discovered my escort is hot.

  The walk to the south end of Haven is quiet. I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing and I can tell Ajax is nervous, which is good. I’d be worried if he wasn’t. No person in their right mind walks into enemy territory—especially the Guild—without being scared out of their wits, which proves I’m in the right mind and the right company.