by Cassie James
“Right. Of course not,” I mutter.
Still not looking at me, Roman takes his turn to speak. “Piper, I hope you understand that this isn’t what I want. You’re a great girl, but you’re not our daughter, and you’re not our property. I’d like nothing more than to give you what it is you want, and if it was up to me I’d agree to break the contract right here, right now.”
“But... Jackie,” I finish for him with an anguished sigh.
I close my eyes as I let my head fall back against the back of the chair with a painful thud. Everything always comes back to Jackie. She’s always the one calling the shots, and now there’s officially nothing I can do to change that. Roman Hawthorne can show up here and say nice things and tell me he’s on my side all he wants—at the end of the day he’ll always choose her. Even if that means sacrificing me.
“I know you think she’s crazy, Piper,” he says slowly, and I grimace at Jude’s loud scoff from across the room. I peek over at Dad in time to see his nose curl, and even though he keeps his eyes trained on me, I don’t miss the way his fingers clench into fists in his lap. “But she’s still hurting so much. I want to help you, but I can’t be responsible for destroying my wife. I love her, Piper, and sometimes that means doing things that don’t really make all that much sense.” His last words make my shoulders tense. I can fucking feel Jude’s eyes on the back of my head, but I don’t dare risk looking his direction.
I don’t bother masking the bitterness in my tone as I respond. “So basically, I’m fucked.”
Anne winces, but no one dares say a word about my cursing. “We’re going to reach out to Stan, Piper. We might not be able to terminate your contract, but we can amend it.”
“What? What does that mean?” I look from Roman to Anne, trying not to get excited by the pleased smiles on both of their faces. Even though I tell myself not to do it, I even glance back over my shoulder to seek Jude out. He smirks in that familiar way that makes my stomach flutter. I tear my eyes away and turn back to Anne and Roman.
“I mean it when I say I’m on your side, Piper. I might not be willing to hurt Jackie by breaking this contract, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do everything in my power to reign her in.”
“No more resets.” I say vehemently, turning toward Anne to see her already with a pen in hand, poised over a legal pad as she jots down notes. Roman nods, even as I tell him, “That’s a non-negotiable.”
“What else?” Anne asks, and I shrug. If they work that into the contract, I can breathe easily for the last two months of my sentence with the Hawthornes, and that will honestly be enough. “Roman, any thoughts?”
“We can agree to letting her stay out later. Maybe let her friend start coming back around?” I feel like an idiot for not thinking of Macie immediately but nod along enthusiastically. “The phone is my non-negotiable. We still need to know we can reach her anytime; Jackie needs that reassurance.”
“I don’t care about the phone,” I say quickly, not wanting to push him beyond the simple freedoms he’s already offering. “Seriously, this is enough, Roman. I mean, it’s only a couple months, but—”
“A couple months?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
My eyebrows do the same thing as we stare at one another in momentary silence. “Yeah,” I finally say. “I mean, I graduate at the end of May—I figured I’d move out then, right? I’m eighteen.”
“Oh, Piper.” My name is barely a whisper on her lips as I turn to see Anne giving me the most sympathetic look she can probably muster. My stomach drops in an instant, and a wave of foreboding washes over me. “The Hawthornes’ daughter was eighteen, you’re technically not. You don’t have the same legal rights…”
“What’s that mean?” I ask, and I swear even though I said I was going to handle this with my head held high, I feel the sting of tears burning against my eyes. I swallow thickly around the painful lump in my throat, and I duck my head long enough to wipe the corner of my eyes and sniffle into my hand. Goddammit.
“We have a long-term contract, Piper,” Roman tries to explain. I drop my head in my hands, trying to stop from ugly crying right here and now. I already understand the problem, it only makes it worse to hear the details. Roman tells me anyway, “We could potentially have you for another four years.”
It’s the last straw. Four years. How the hell am I going to manage another four years with Jackie Hawthorne breathing down my neck every day? Especially when high school ends and I have no other reason to leave the goddamn house. I suck in a shuddering breath, and the heat of tears pooling in my hands makes me cry that much harder. Pathetic.
I don’t fucking deserve it, but a few moments later Jude is kneeling in front of my chair, his arms snaking around my waist as he pulls me a bit closer. I naturally lean closer to him. Right now I’m too fucking upset to worry about whether this is the right thing. I just need him.
He puts his lips next to my ear, and part of me thinks it’s to kiss me, but then he whispers to me, instead. “We’ll figure it out, Piper. I swear.”
“I know it’s not exactly what you were hoping for,” Roman starts. I lean further into the comfort of Jude’s chest. I’m practically not even sitting in my chair anymore as most of my weight settles against Jude. He doesn’t move an inch except to run his hands up and down my back in easy, measured strokes. Roman just keeps talking, “But I am working on Jackie about letting you go to college. It might not have been part of your plan, but we’ll figure it out for you.”
Anne jumps in, “And we’ll be calling Mr. Hyde immediately to insert the reset clause into the contract, barring any concerns on his part. It’s a compromise, Piper, and a pretty good start.”
It doesn’t feel like a start, not at all. It sounds like a life sentence with no chance of parole. I bite back the snarky reply, though, and pull my face away from Jude’s chest, wiping my eyes with a grunt of frustration. Way to keep it together, Piper. Real mature. I choke down a shuddering breath and nod at Anne. Just because I didn’t get the outcome I was expecting doesn’t mean I can discount how hard she’s worked on this for me.
It might not be freedom, but living without the fear of a reset is a close fucking second.
“Do you need anything else from me?” I ask. I’m sure right now I have to look as miserable as I sound. My voice has a weak, watery sort of quality to it that really pisses me off. I clear my throat as Roman and Anne stare at me with nothing short of pity in their eyes.
“No, but—” she starts, but Roman cuts her off.
“If you want to wait while we talk to Stan, I can give you a ride home.”
I’d rather take the fucking bus than be cooped up in a car with him right now. I open my mouth to tell him so, but Jude, who’s still kneeling at my feet, cuts me off. “No, I’ll take her home.”
Roman’s lips purse, but he nods tersely to Jude. “Jackie and I have to drive out to Ojai to meet with some clients and show several properties. We’ll be gone most of the evening and won’t be back until late—you don’t have to rush home.”
“Okay, thanks.” My voice sounds hollow to my ears. Jude stands and I push to my feet on trembling legs, too. I know I should shake Anne’s hand and thank her and all those other polite things I would have done in any other circumstances, but I can’t find the energy. I don’t even spare Roman another glance as Jude turns me toward the door.
Even though I know I shouldn’t, the second we’re out of Anne’s office I reach for him again. He doesn’t hesitate to hold me close, even when we reach the parking lot and I break down all over again. Jude just holds me for a long time as I cry, crying for the freedom I can never have, and the girl I can never be.
18
Piper
I do eventually manage to stop crying, but it’s like the second I do Jude puts his walls back up again. It doesn’t help that I hesitate when he opens the passenger side door of his SUV for me.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he groans, his voice flus
h with irritation. He reaches out to grab my arms and gives me a gentle shake. “I get this wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but can’t you ever just be fucking grateful for what you do have?”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Yeah? What fucking for, Piper? “Are you sorry for being ungrateful for the fact that the best lawyer in L.A. just got the Hawthornes to agree to never try to reset you ever again? Are you sorry for crying? For not wanting to even get in a goddamn car with me?”
“No,” I manage to choke out as I swipe at my eyes. Great. I’m fucking crying again. My fingers come away smudged with eye makeup. I can’t seem to catch my breath to tell Jude that I’m sorry for everything. For doubting him. For being an asshole. For not give us a chance.
“Then what fucking is it, Piper? Are you sorry for not showing up to school for two days after dropping a bombshell on us?” I shake my head miserably, watching him pace in front of me, arms waving as he shouts his feelings for the whole world to hear. “Are you sorry for ghosting us again? Or are you actually, truly goddamn sorry for trying to end things with us without taking into consideration how any of us fucking felt about it?”
I can’t trust myself to speak right now, not when he’s so mad he can’t stand still. He throws his hands in the air. “Get in the fucking car,” he commands as he goes around to the driver’s side. I jump when I hear the heavy thud of his hand connecting with the metal of his SUV. “Now, Piper!”
I slide into the car without a word, buckling myself in as he stands outside of it, palms flat against the window and his head hung low. His shoulders rise and fall with his deep breaths, and guilt tears at my stomach. Why can’t I make my stupid mouth figure out how to say all the words tumbling around in my head? I know without a doubt now that I’m the one in the wrong this time, and I know I’m the one who has to fix it.
I chew my lip and take a deep breath before pulling my phone from my bag. I glance out of the corner of my eye to see Jude still standing with his arms braced against the window, head down, so I take the chance to shoot a quick text to Tyler and Brennan. Can we talk? It’s short and sweet, straight to the point, and I hope like hell they have it within them to at least give me the chance to try to fix this shithole I’ve dug for all of us.
Jude slides behind the wheel silently, barely passing a glance in my direction as he buckles his seat belt and starts the car. We’re pulling out of the parking space in complete silence before my phone vibrates in my hand. When? Brennan’s one word answer is more than I deserve, and gratitude warms me as I text him back.
I’m with Jude right now, but my parents are going to be gone until late. Meet at mine around five, five-thirty?
I get a thumbs-up emoji and try not to think too much into the fact that I’m getting one-word answers from Brennan and nothing at all from Tyler. I remind myself that any answer at all is more than I deserve before dropping my phone back into my bag. Tension crackles in the air between Jude and I, and I know I have to fix this fast—because of all of them, I need him in my corner if I’m going to fix what I’ve broken.
I open my mouth to apologize, though, and Jude cuts me off before I can even start. It’s not words he uses, though—he reaches for the stereo, turning it on and cranking it until it’s so loud I can’t even concentrate on the shame and guilt fighting for dominance inside of me. I stare openly at him, and while his jaw tightens under my gaze, he still doesn’t say anything to me.
The odd stand-off lasts until he takes an unexpected exit off the freeway. I reach for the volume control, turning the music all the way down. “Where are we going? My exit is two up.” When he doesn’t immediately answer, my teeth grind. “Jude, you are taking me home, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Yeah, no.” His tone offers no room for argument, and I cross my arms over my chest as I turn my head to face out the window, finally recognizing some of the streets as the by-ways to his house. “We’re going to my house, and we’re going to get this shit worked out.”
I heave a deep sigh and close my eyes against the tension pounding behind them. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” I ask, voice barely a whisper as he scoffs from next to me. “I’m serious, Jude. What good’s going to come from taking me to your house? We shout a little, maybe we work this out, maybe we don’t. But fucking me isn’t going to solve anything.”
His voice is a strangled whisper when he responds. “Piper, I swear to god, you may think you’ve handled this, dropped all of us like a bad habit, but whatever the fuck this is, it isn’t over so don’t you fucking pretend like it is.” My heart leaps to my throat, and I swear to god I really think I’ve forgotten how to breathe. My ability to reason seems to have flown out the window, too, because I’m shifting in my seat and clenching my thighs when he spits, “And if fucking you is what it takes to knock some sense into you, then you better be ready for a marathon session because I’m not letting you out of my bed until you realize how goddamn wrong you are.”
Jude was optimistic to think that we’d ever actually make it to his bed. We barely make it to his bedroom before he’s tearing at my clothes, ripping the buttons from my shirt with zero remorse as he smirks at me. Payback’s a bitch, his devilish smirk seems to say, but the ache is too deep in my core, and I’m too turned on to even begin to care about the silk blouse. I wriggle from my skirt and kick it across the room with my shoes before he has the chance to demand I keep the uncomfortable torture devices on. His eyes hood at the sight of me standing before him in my lacy panties and bra, back pressed against his door as my chest heaves.
His eyes track my every move as I reach behind me to unhook my bra, letting it fall to the floor so I can trail my fingers along the sides of my breasts. Jude’s eyes never leave mine as he backs toward his bedside table, ripping the drawer open to pull out a box of condoms. He grabs the whole box before stalking back in my direction, shucking his clothes along the way.
He’s not playing around.
He pulls out one condom and drops the rest of the box to the floor. A delightful shudder passes through my body as he flicks his eyes down to my panties and then back up again. I drag my nails down my body, moaning as the familiar heat of arousal pools between my legs. I keep touching myself, dragging my fingers down until the lace of my panties catches against the pads of my fingers.
“Now, Piper,” he bosses me as he tears the condom packet open, rolling it over his dick in one swift motion. Time slows as I push my panties down over my hips and thighs and then step out of them. He closes the distance between us, backing me against the bedroom door. The cool wood is a welcome relief for my feverish skin.
His lips find mine for the briefest moment before he shifts, kissing his way down my jaw before fixing on the crook of my neck. He can’t seem to concentrate on any one thing for long, though. His lips leave my skin altogether as he bends to grab me behind the thighs in a rough grip. I gasp as he hoists me up several inches. There’s no warning before he slams into me with enough force to make my eyes roll straight to the back of my head.
“Oh my god,” I moan as my head falls back against the door with a loud thunk.
He chuckles, but it’s short-lived as he puts all his concentration into fucking me for all he’s worth. He pounds into me so hard I’m pretty sure the door behind me is bruising my spine, but I don’t dare complain and risk having him stop. I like it like this with him. I dig my nails into his hair, grappling for purchase against the only thing in my reach as he fucks me with an urgency I’ve never known before.
I’m nearly ready to come apart in his arms when he stops cold. He leans in to bite my neck hard, making me yelp. He puts an arm around my back as he lifts me away from the door. I have no idea what he’s doing, my brain still foggy from the thorough fucking he just stopped in the middle of. I’m not prepared for the moment when his hand lands with an audible crack against my ass, pulling a surprised shriek out of me. I’ve never been spanked before.
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nbsp; Jude doesn’t leave me any time to focus on the stinging pain left in his hand’s wake. He tosses me backward, my heart leaping into my throat for a moment before I land squarely on the bed. Jude crawls toward me as my head spins. I reach for him hungrily, moaning in pleasure when his large frame covers mine as he pushes back into me with the same punishing pace as before. My hips arch off the bed to meet his, our skin slapping together to create a cacophony of noise as we moan our pleasure to one another.
My nails rake down his back as he grinds into me, bottoming out so that his pelvic bone presses against my clit. Just when I think things can’t get any hotter, that I’m already at the very peaks of pleasure, Jude wraps his hand around my neck, squeezing with just enough force to make me gasp as he slams into me frantically. White spots explode behind my eyes, and I’m not sure that I don’t actually pass out for a brief second as I come so hard my entire body quakes under his.
Jude loosens his grip on my neck, but pauses his fingers over the sore bite mark on my neck, pressing against it with his thumb as I convulse underneath him. Holy fucking shit. I dig my nails into his back so hard I’m sure I’ve drawn blood.
His loud groan fills the room as he thrusts into me three more hard times before he’s coming, shuddering with the force of his own release. He’s panting harder than ever before as he climbs off of me. My body is still on overload from the mixture of pleasure and pain, so much so that I don’t question it when he disappears for a minute.
When he steps back into the room, he walks over to look down on me and asks, “What are you thinking?” His voice is hard again, as if the sex hasn’t thawed things between us at all. And here I was thinking sex really could just fix the problem for once.