Lethal

by Robbins, Cassandra

  “What’s wrong?” her voice brings me back to her.

  I shrug. Leaning forward, I place my hand on her leg. “I’m trying to figure out my next move. It would be nice if I don’t have to kill anyone.”

  She doesn’t even blink. If I’ve scared her, she does an amazing job of hiding it.

  “This is what you deal with everyday? Always looking over your shoulder?”

  Our eyes meet as she moves closer and her warm breath is mine to steal. Slowly I answer, “Yes, this is my life.”

  She swallows, her eyes huge as I caress her cheek and stare at her parted lips.

  “I keep telling you I’m a bad guy, Angel.” Our faces are inches apart, but I need her to believe this. Dropping my hand, I lean back and reach for my glass. “Don’t get confused and think I’m some kind of hero.”

  A slow, sexy smile graces her lips and it hits me right in the chest. It’s like she’s a witch or a fairy that’s cast a spell on me. And fuck if I care. I can’t help myself as I lean forward again.

  “You don’t seem upset about that?”

  “Because I’m not.” She smiles. “What should we toast to?” her voice purrs into my lips.

  I can’t help but grin. “How about to bad guys?”

  Pouting for a moment, she smiles. “How about… to bad guys and bad girls.” That saucy stare goes right to my cock.

  I clink her glass to mine. “I love it,” I say, and shoot the whole glass. This time, the whiskey sends a soothing warmth down my throat.

  She watches me. Her eyes narrow and she takes a dainty sip. I burst out laughing, grab her face, and kiss those plump red lips, which taste like bourbon and heaven, and I know in this moment, she might very well be my downfall. It takes all my willpower to stop kissing her before I can’t look at myself in the mirror tomorrow.

  I sit up and look around my room. Much as she’s done with the bathroom, Eve has slowly become a part of my bedroom. Her gossip magazines litter the coffee table. Her shoes are under a chair. Trying not to think about why this doesn’t bother me I say, “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

  She looks down at her plate. Her long golden tresses fall over one shoulder. Again, I can’t seem to stop this need to touch her as she cuts her steak.

  “And if you finish all your food, I have a surprise for you,” I tease, caressing the softness with my fingers. She stops eating for a moment and cocks her head. I wink and pop a sautéed carrot in my mouth. Her eyes drop to my mouth as I chew.

  I chuckle and dig into my dinner. She gives me one of those smiles that goes straight to my chest then travels down to my cock. I sense her excitement and reach down into my boot to pull out the knife, setting it in front of her. She puts down her bread and her fingers glide over the knife stroking the wooden handle that sports the exact brand that’s on her neck.

  “It was my grandfather’s.” I lean back. “He brought it back with him from Vietnam.”

  Her big blue eyes focus on me. “This has sentimental value. Why would you give it to me?”

  I lean over and start eating again.

  “Jason?”

  “Trust me… he would love for you to have it. He had a weakness for blondes with long legs.”

  She shakes her head and starts eating again. “You confuse me.”

  I take the last bite of steak and push the plate back. “He’s the one who started the Disciples—well he and some other buddies. All they wanted to do was ride their bikes and do drugs. It wasn’t until my dad came along that he figured out how much money he could make selling weed.” Swirling my glass in front of me, I take a deep sip. “Then one day, my buddy and I were messing around in my dad’s basement. Both of us thought we were the shit and we created a drug.”

  “And…?”

  “It changed everything. It wasn’t like crystal and it wasn’t X, although the high you could get was better.” As soon as my dad found us and the drug… it took us to a different league. The demons I keep at bay are there wanting to come out tonight. Or maybe I want her to truly know me.

  “Jason? I’m here for you. You can trust me.”

  My eyes scan her face. The turmoil that is my life merges with the shit that is her life. I take another swig of whiskey, my eyes holding hers. I see that day so clearly. It was years ago, but if I close my eyes I can feel the sting of the rain hitting me in the face as a member of the military police informed me. Her hand touches my cheek making me blink and look away.

  “Please don’t shut me out,” she whispers, causing me to look at her.

  “My brother and old man died in that explosion. I didn’t blame myself. They knew what they were doing.” I reach for her hand. “I have a cousin, David. We were close. We’re the same age. Fuck, babe, you don’t want this shit.” My eyes dart to the window. The inky blackness outside makes me pull away.

  “Hey.” Both her hands are on my face. Her blue eyes are pooled with tears but her voice is strong. “I want to hear and know everything about you.”

  Jesus Christ, I should not have gone here. I’m breaking my code, letting her in. My demons spill out like a child with a secret. “David had a girlfriend and a daughter. A fucking little girl with gold curls and she was with them when the explosion happened.”

  The truth fills the room. Eight years of agony has just been aired. This time I can’t sit still. I don’t want to see her face, so I lean my forehead against the cool window. Like the grim reaper, my past is coming to take me down.

  “In one day, I lost them all—even the baby girl.” My voice is gruff. I feel her hand on my back and don’t give a shit. Right now, she’s all I need. I turn and jerk her into my arms and bury my face in her hair and breathe.

  “It’s not your fault. Accidents happen. You’re not to blame.” She kisses my forehead, my cheeks; her hot tears drift onto me as I taste sorrow.

  Lifting my head, I say, “That’s where you’re wrong. The day that baby girl died was the day I changed.”

  She shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You weren’t even there.”

  I pull back, suddenly disgusted at my weakness for letting this come out. “You don’t get it?” My voice makes me sound like an ass. “I’m the one who created the drug. The lab blew up, and no one knows how or why. But it sure as fuck had to do with my drug. Of that I can guarantee you.” I’m done. I need to leave, sleep on one of the downstairs couches.

  “You are not responsible.” She grabs ahold of my arms, her nails attached, causing me to stop. “I don’t know why horrible things happen to us. I don’t know why some people seem to go through life with no tragedies.” She lets go and snakes her arms around the back of my neck forcing me to connect with her. “You’re not bad or good Jason. You’re human.”

  I growl out my pain as I jerk her willing body tighter to mine. Her hands lace into my hair. I blink back all the horrible memories, nightmares I’ve had about what happened that day. But she’s right. I wasn’t there and I have no clue about who blew them up. And since David is gone—last I heard he was a junkie in New York—clearly, he’s not in any condition to find out.

  “You have to let the dead rest in peace.” Her voice cracks and my neck is drenched in her tears. Exhaustion mentally and physically is taking me down. I pull back and start to frantically undress her then jerk off my shirt and pants. Reaching for the lights, I turn them off and guide her to our bed. I close my eyes and let her warm body merge into my cold one. I don’t even want to fuck her right now… only hold her like this forever. Maybe for one night, I can be human.

  EVE

  I smell coffee, but I’m too tired to open my eyes. My hands feel around for him but the bed is cold. I groan and roll over trying to open my eyes. They feel like small weights have been put on them. A mug of coffee sits on the nightstand along with the knife that belonged to Jason’s grandfather. I reach out and touch the wooden base, the Disciples brand still clear. A little flutter of excitement runs through my chest. Jason gave me his grandfather’s blade. I
t sounds crazy, but this is the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me and I stroke it lovingly. Hearing the shower, my mind travels back to last night. Jason told me things. He confided in me, he…“Shit.” I bolt up. He’s supposed to be taking me to see my dad. Fuck that… he is taking me to see my dad. I throw off the covers and instantly steady myself as a wave of dizziness takes over.

  “What the hell?” I groan as I steady myself on the bed. My stomach does not feel good at all. We went to bed without finishing dinner, so the remains of last night’s food fill my nose right now. I close my eyes and breathe through the nausea. Relax, Eve. You need food, I chant in my head over and over. The last thing I need to do is throw up. Jason will never take me to see my dad if he thinks I’m sick.

  “Eve?” I jump and look up at the most beautiful man ever. My heart flutters and I have to remind myself not to be too obvious He stands above me in jeans and a gray T-shirt drinking coffee and frowning at me.

  “I’m up.” It’s lame, and I cringe at how stupid I sound.

  Jason cocks his head, his damn green eyes scanning my face. Perfect. I feel shy today, I don’t want to look at him because if he’s shut down like he usually is, I don’t think I can handle it after last night. A warm gentle hand touches my chin forcing me to look at him.

  “You tired, baby? You want to rest and go tomorrow?” It’s caring and intimate and I’m so relieved that he’s not pulling back that I’m almost self-conscious.

  My hand goes up to my wild hair and I stand up smiling. “No, I’m fine.” I swallow back the saliva.

  He doesn’t look convinced, but I’m saved by modern technology as his phone goes off, though his eyes narrow at me.

  “What’s up, Axel?” He walks toward the window, his muscled back rippling in the gray T-shirt.

  He hasn’t put on his cut yet and my eyes take in all of him before I enter the bathroom. Grasping the cool counter of the sink, I breathe in and out and feel like absolute shit. Maybe I shouldn’t see my dad. God, what if I have the flu? I would hate to give it to him. Turning on the shower, I step in and sigh as the soothing hot water helps. See? I’m fine. A million times better.

  Quickly I throw on some light makeup and look at myself. I’m presentable, but do I look fabulous? No, and I don’t have time to go crazy trying to fix myself up. I switch off the light and scream as I almost plow straight into Jason who is frowning at me again.

  “What?” I hate when I can tell he knows, like everything. “Why are you scowling at me?” I go around him and jerk open my underwear drawer and grab a black G-string and matching bra. His eyes are like lasers watching every move I make until I sigh and give in. “What, Jason?”

  His stare starts at the top of my head and follows all the way to my bare feet and he looks me straight in the eyes. “Nothing… I’ll be downstairs waiting.”

  I roll my eyes as I finish dressing then reach for my black UGGs, blowing my hair out of my face.

  Grabbing my bag, I smirk as I wrap my new Disciples knife in one of Jason’s T-shirts. As I roll my neck, I pull on my three-quarter-length jacket trying to shake this crappy feeling.

  I don’t even have to walk into the kitchen to know that my stomach is not going to like it at all. I smell rather than see the huge skillet that Amy is cooking bacon and sausages in.

  “Shit.” I stop and try to swallow back the bile rising up.

  “Eve! You okay?” Amy’s cool hands touch my fevered cheeks. Unfortunately she smells like bacon and I have to turn away as I sit on a barstool and reach for a napkin to cover my nose. Or maybe to help soothe me as I look at the offending pan sizzling and popping with grease.

  “My stomach is not happy today,” I say, looking around the room because I don’t want to deal with Amy’s knowing eyes. There’re actually around six or seven bikers waiting for Amy’s cooking. One’s staring at me and I raise an eyebrow at him. He smirks and turns to a buddy to talk shit I’m sure. Asshole. A lot of these guys are creeps.

  Blocking them out of my mind along with the massive amount of pork in the pan, I mumble, “Have you seen Jason?”

  She says nothing and I have to look at her. Again this woman is rumored to be fiftyish and she looks thirtyish. She eyes me then goes into the refrigerator and pulls out a smartwater and a bottle of C Monster. “Hydrate.” She hands me a banana too, and I want to hug her.

  “Thank you.”

  Nodding, she and turns back to the disgusting bacon.

  “And Jason’s outside, Eve.” It feels like I’m twelve and going off to school as I slink off the barstool, throwing all the beverages into my bag. I walk out toward the sunny porch where a group of guys are talking to Jason. They all get quiet as soon as I approach. I straighten my shoulders and peel my banana.

  Axel looks like he wants to strangle me, so I flash him a big smile. His blue eyes narrow. Jason doesn’t even stop talking and snakes his muscled arm around my shoulder while barking orders. Sighing, I nibble on my banana and glance around. The yard might as well be a motorcycle shop. There’re parts strewn all over the gravel, and the smell of gasoline makes me gag. I turn my nose into Jason’s spicy, clean smell. It seems to calm me.

  “You ready, Angel?” his gravelly voice startles me.

  “Yes.” I clear my voice and toss the banana peel over on an old picnic table littered with trash, wiping my hands on my jeans. Holy shit! I’m going to see my father. The butterflies take over. Jason clasps our hands together as he guides me toward his bike. Crystal shoots me a horrible look as she breezes past us, her awful perfume making me want to puke. And for the first time since I heard about that woman, I don’t feel threatened. Jason doesn’t want her; he wants me and I intend to get him.

  I smile as he completely ignores her. I’m not as nice. She’s been giving me crap from day one. So I wave and have to bite my lip not to laugh at her reddening face and the loud slam of the door behind her.

  “Stop it.” He shakes his head.

  I can’t help it and start laughing. “It’s not my fault you have horrible taste in girlfriends.”

  This time, he laughs. “Don’t talk that way about yourself,” he says and kisses me in front of everyone. There are snickers and whistling behind us.

  “I wasn’t talking about me,” I speak into his mouth. It comes out breathless instead of sarcastic. He pulls away and shakes his head as he reaches for a shiny silver helmet hanging on the handlebar. A bright red Disciples logo is on the back. He moves to put it on my head and stops as our eyes connect. God, I’m hot, flushed. What is wrong with me?

  “Who shares my bed?”

  “Me.”

  He smiles and I blink back my tears… I don’t even know why. Maybe because he’s so hot and he wants me. And just like that I feel so much better. I move my purse to the back and climb on. He plops the helmet on and settles in his seat. Excitement tingles down my spine as his bike rumbles to life. I scoot as close to him as I can. He reaches back and his hand rests casually on my thigh as I wrap my arms around his waist. We take off, stirring up gravel and dust and causing the guys behind us to yell. I close my eyes and lay my helmet against his back as he maneuvers his bike. It seems as though we left seconds ago when we stop out of nowhere. I open my eyes as Jason turns on his right turn signal. I lift my head, trying to see exactly where we are. It’s a nice neighborhood and the bike rumbles past a couple of houses with large green yards. We pull into a small parking lot. I take off my helmet and observe a large white building with a beautiful lawn. Roses and flowerpots are all over. An ambulance is parked in front with an oxygen tank truck behind it.

  I pull the helmet off and stare at the newness of this place.

  “Is this it?” I grab his arm as I get off the bike. It took like ten minutes. Ten minutes is how far away my dad is from me. Hot tears sting my eyes already. I grab ahold of Jason’s strong, tan hand as he guides me through the large sliding glass doors. A girl with dark brown hair and glasses is at the front desk. Her eyes widen as we approach.r />
  “Hey Blade, welcome back.” She smiles at Jason and here comes the nausea again.

  “Don’t tell me—Ashley, right?” Jason grins and my hand tightens on his. He looks down at me.

  “Yes, that’s me.” She rubs her hands on her dress. Visions of me punching her dance in my head. She glances over at me, and her smile promptly fades as her gaze follows down to our hands.

  She clears her throat. “Go ahead and sign in.”

  Jason lets go of my hand as he quickly signs his name. It’s hard to ignore the way my heart is pounding. My cheeks are likely flushed.

  “Ashley, this is my girlfriend Eve. She’s James’s daughter.” I look over at the girl who sits up and pushes her glasses back.

  “Oh, he’ll be so happy to see you. He talks about you and your brother all the time.”

  “Thanks,” I croak, feeling like a bitch. This girl is actually nice and she likes my dad. God, what is wrong with me today?

  Jason places his hand at the base of my back as he guides me toward a door. Glancing around, I smile at how pretty and peaceful this place is. It’s all cream and celery-green walls along with hardwood floors. Large coffee-colored leather chairs sit by a fireplace.

  “Thanks, Ash,” he says over his shoulder. I’m in shock at how clean and homey this place looks. As we walk down the hallway, I notice pictures of what I’m assuming are staff on one wall and flowers and landscapes on the other.

  We stop at room 104 where Jason knocks and swings open the door. And there’s my beloved father sitting in a shiny new scooter-type chair with his oxygen tanks strapped to the back. He’s dressed in dark slacks and a navy sweater, and for a second, I have to blink to make sure it’s him. I look down at my dark jeans with their designer-cut holes and my bright mauve T-shirt that shows off a slight bit of my flat tummy and wish I had worn a dress or something. Even with his oxygen tube, he looks so clean and elegant I can’t help but let a sob out as I run to him. For a moment, he jumps in his seat. His thin shoulders are caved in as he sits hunched over. I stop and let him whirl his scooter around.