by B.A. Savage
Welcome ladies, ladies, ladies, and gentlemen to another edition of S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling as we present this week’s The Final Cut, live at the sold out Bundy Arena here in the Valley City, Pike County, Illinois. I’m your host, Wil B. Creamin, who has all the ladies dreaming and on that subject of dreaming, who in their wildest dreams could have fathomed that Tex, yes Tex, our owner, would be the sole survivor at our last Cutting Edge over the Brooklyn Bombers. Tex owes a big thanks to the outside interference by James “Boogie Down” Brown, who I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes tonight because of him Bruno was pinned by Tex! Who would have believed that was possible? Then we had Raoul jumping Rage, the Rockstars getting dissed, the lady wrestlers debuting tonight, and so much more. I’ve seen the matches for tonight and let me simply say, this show will be simply...Sensational!
< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
Well, there’s their music and here comes Rich Inc, well actually, it’s just Tex and Rick. I wonder where the Dollar Dollar Bills are? Hey, with his now inflated ego, Tex’s head finally comes close to matching his enormous gut, close but not exactly. Well, they are in the ring, so let’s hear him gloat.
< In The Ring >
Tex is grinning ear to ear with his son Rick standing next to him. The loud boos don’t seem to be bothering Tex one bit tonight. “Yeah, all you people laughed at my choice of outfit,” referring to his wrestling trunks at the last show. “But who‘s laughing now?”
Tex folds over in laughter, while Rick just grins. Tex continues, “I bet Bruno isn’t and after I say what I came out here to say, The Stud won’t be laughing either. So Stud, get your butt out here now!”
What is Tex up to now? I bet The Stud’s getting real tired of this kind of treatment.
< The Stud’s Music Plays >
Well, looks like we are about to find out because there he is with big double C standing with him and like usual The Stud doesn’t let his fans down as he does his trademark poses. Now he has a mic too.
< On the ramp is The Stud with Crowd Control. In the ring is Tex and Rick >
Once the crowd has quieted down for him to speak, The Stud says, “Tex, I want to be the first to congratulate you on your victory.”
Tex looks shocked, “Well...um thank you Stud. It was a...”
The Stud interrupts him, “I mean at least one of you two in the ring has a win.”
The crowd erupts as Tex tries to hold Rick back from going after The Stud.
The Stud continues, “I mean come on Tex, did you turn on the wrong son? Even though your whole family is inbred, at least by my count, one of your sons has a win and the other winless.”
Tex yells into his mic, “Yeah, well I’m gonna fix that today, well at least one part of it for sure!”
Rick looks at his father as if implying, “Which one?” Tex notices and tries to reassure him that he meant him. Rick doesn’t seem to believe him as he starts to argue with his father in the ring.
“Excuse me? Sorry to dawn so much insight on you two knuckleheads, but what did you want with me anyways? Need another rematch to add to your son’s loss column?”
Tex throws his hat to the ground and does his trademark hat stomping. After his brief tantrum, Tex says, “I called you out here to personally challenge you to a match. Me and you, one on one, in a cage, for the title tonight!”
Smiling , The Stud replies, “Now I know you were really inbred. You versus me? Okay, what’s the catch? Everyone and everybody gonna interfere on your behalf?”
The Stud shakes his head in disbelief but says, “ If you want your “Lights Out” that desperately.”
“Oh Stud, there is one catch, I’m not gonna lie. I’m an honest, hardworking Texan and I know you are one helluva athlete and I’m not exactly at your level, but I can hold my own. So, if you think you can do it so easily, then you shouldn’t mind a ten minute time limit, right?”
“In a cage?” asks The Stud.
“Yes.”
“10 minutes?”
“Yes.”
“Nine more minutes than I’ll need, but I just hope you know this, whether it’s Show’s Over or Light’s Out, The Stud will win the bout!”
< The Stud’s Music Plays >
The Stud does a few more poses then he and Crowd Control head backstage. Tex remains in the ring with Rick.
“Now that the annoying Stud is gone. I want to assure you fans that I know you came here and tuned in to see the wrestlers wrestle and not the owner. Plus, I’m not a spotlight type of guy, just simply a laid back Texan. So, when I win tonight I’ll vacate the title and at our first ever Pay Per View, titled Buzz S.A.W., in two weeks in San Antonio, we will have a tournament for the title. If I lose tonight, since I have a new liking for four man matches, the winner of tonight’s fatal four match will be facing The Stud at the P. P. V. Those competitors will be Bruno, Thunder, Unique, and Rick.”
Tex pauses for a moment, then continues, “Also, tonight the Dollar Dollar Bills have the night off and Rockstars, in no way, shape, or form did the Dollar Dollar Bills have any authority to make decisions concerning the world tag titles but since I’m a fair man, Rockstars, tonight I’m going to give you a chance to earn a title shot, as you will face the Varsity All-Stars and the team 2 Badd 4 Ya, in a three way tag match. The winners will face the Dollar Dollar Bills at the P. P. V. “
He continues, “Fans, even bigger news, tonight the ladies will debut here live!” he grins.
< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays >
He did say “ladies “right? Ha!
The stylish duo walks out onto the ramp in their extravagant gear as the crowd cheers. Frances asks, “I hate to sound like a dripping petcock, but why are we getting over looked again?”
A puzzled Tex asks, “A dripping what?”
Greg answers him, “A dripping faucet, you know?”
Frances adds, “Yeah, why are we being overlooked for the titles?”
Tex says smart-alec like, “Trust me, in those pink outfits you can’t be over looked.”
Not realizing that they were just insulted, Frances replies, “Thank you.”
Tex just shakes his head, “Okay, if you...guys, will leave my ramp, I’ll add you to the title mix somehow, but that’ll mean you’ll probably wrestle tonight.”
“Kay,” says Frances and Greg nods in agreement.
< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays >
Wow there’s so much to digest. Tex challenging The Stud to a world title match, Flaming Desire forcefully inserting themselves. Sorry, I had to say that. Ha! Also, what’s up with Thunder and Unique fighting in the main event? I mean don’t get me wrong, they are solid wrestlers, with Thunder being a little more solid than Unique, if you catch my drift but I don’t think they can defeat the likes of Rick or Bruno. Well, I guess if you look at Rick and Bruno’s wins and losses, I don’t believe they have a win between the both of them. Crazy, well I guess we have a situation brewing backstage.
< Backstage >
The camera is following the Brooklyn Bombers as they walk with a mission in mind, indicated by their collective stride. They make their way down a hallway until they arrive at their destination, a dressing room with James “Boogie Down” Brown’s name on it. Bruno announces, “We found the punk!”
Butch opens the door and all the Bombers storm the room. Boogie Down had no chance to react from the folding chair he was seated on. They beat him down and once he’s hapless, two of the members lift and fling him toward Bruno, who nails him with his finisher “The Decapitator” power clothesline. They stomp him a few more times while he’s down, then once they are satisfied that they’ve worked him over enough, they leave.
Well, I knew that was probably gonna happen, so should’ve BDB. Those guys are guys you don’t want to mess with. I understand why he did what he did last show. I mean from day one they seemed to have singled him out along with Mikeal, but you see Mikeal was content with one butt whipping. Anyways, sorry to say Boogie Down, but we got to move on to
bigger news like the debut of our lady wrestlers! About time we get to see some real ladies around here. Yeah, we got Cynthia, but she’s no lady, trust me on that. That would be like calling Cashless Clayton wealthy. Ha!
< Final Cut’s Intro Music Plays >
Here it is! The ladies! Coming to the ring is a cutie extreme. I saw her in the back and let me tell you, baby got back. She might be small but she can brawl. Making her way to the ring...Michelle Nash!
< Ivana’s Music Plays >
I didn’t get a chance to see this lady before the show but, whoa! Does Crowd Control know he has a sister? That lady is easily over six feet and some change. Whoa! We might have to check her passport again for gender. Coming to the ring, from the former Soviet Union, the tall and the powerful looking...Ivana!
< Match - Ivana vs Michelle Nash - Smartly, Michelle tries to use her speed to her advantage, which helps keep this match from being too one-sided. During a cross body attempt, Ivana catches her and slams her to the mat. Ivana picks her up by the hair and piledrives her. Instead of trying a pin attempt, she climbs to the top turnbuckle and when Michelle finally finds her bearings and stands she is nailed by Ivana’s finisher “S2G” missile dropkick. Ivana pins her standing with her foot on Michelle’s chest. >
Pretty impressive debut for Ivana. I haven’t seen many high-flying women wrestlers. Tex seems to have found a pretty good one, not much of a looker but hey, I have no problem seeing Michelle Nash on her back. Ha! Well, it’s time for a commercial break and when we return, I will inform you all about two huge matches tonight affecting the America’s Championship division. See you in a flash.
< Commercial Break >
A couple is under their covers of their queen size bed sharing a special moment, so it would seem, until the lady’s head pops out from under the covers, she asks the man, “Did it break again?”
The man emerges with a saddened look, “Yes, dear.”
“And you were already done, weren’t you?” she asks with accusing eyes.
“Yes, dear,” he replies in a solemn tone.
Frustrated, she asks, “What are we gonna do about this?”
The man shrugs, “I don’t know. What can we do?”
A man in a business suit walks into their bedroom, he says, “I know what you can do!”
“What’s that?” asks the lady.
“Yeah and who are you?” adds the man in the bed.
The man in the suit replies, “I’m Dan, the ‘Samurai Condom’ Man and I’m here to tell you it’s not that common, speedy and it doesn’t happen to all men. I’m also here to tell you about Samurai Condom's, Cast Iron Sleeves. Yes, that’s right, Cast Iron Sleeves, the newest in prophylactic technology.”
He continues, “CIS are made of ultra thin tubes of lightweight, yet durable metal strips with a clenching base. That’s right, no need to worry about breakage.”
The man in the bed questions, “Well, with it being metal and all, won’t it desensitize the feeling for me?”
Dan replies, “Is it always about you?” The lady nods in agreement, while Dan continues, “One of the best things about the sleeves are that they can help enhance the woman’s pleasure, while assuring no more ‘oops, I’m so sorry. Give me ten minutes’.”
The lady’s lover sits up in the bed, “Well, what about all those enhancement drugs? Don’t they work just as good?”
Dan replies with a smile, exposing his perfect teeth, “Didn’t your momma tell you to say no to drugs? Drugs are bad for you. With Cast Iron Sleeves, no need for embarrassing prescriptions, popping pills, or smearing of ointments. Save the embarrassment. No more outdated old condoms falling out of your pockets while you dig for change at the convenience store. No need to make your wallet appear as if it has ringworm. With one of these in your pocket, she won’t have to ask, she’ll know you’re happy to see her. Also, they are so easy to re-use. Simply rinse, dry, and add a little CIS jelly and woohlah, back to action.”
The man and woman in bed both smile at each other, then turn toward Dan,
“Thanks Dan!” they say together.
Modestly, Dan replies, “Don’t thank me, thank Samurai, the company that cares about your sword.”
< Backstage >
The same tall, slender woman from the first Final Cut on a payphone, is here again on a payphone. She says, “Yeah, girl I really got the scoop this week. Uh huh, yup. So anyways, girlfriend, when you gonna get here anyways? For reals?! That’s cool. Hey, guess who used to pose for K-Marte? Ivana. Yup, when she first got here to the States, and you know that sexy Stud guy, right? Yes, that’s the one, the yummy one. Well rumor is that his brother is a holy high roller, some kind of pastor. Who would’ve guessed it? And you know those Varsity All-Star triplets? Well they aren’t even related. Nope, not at all they just all happen to look alike.”
She continues after a slight pause, “So anyways girl, did you check out that new calendar ‘Big Bodies with Bigger Extras?’ Oh girl let me tell you about it. There was this one guy on top of a 2005...
Sorry, we had to cut her short, that was just Gaby, no one special. I bet they call her that because of her gift of gab, but I wonder if she has the gift to wrestle? She’s cute and all but as we saw earlier, cute doesn’t help much in matches. Also fans, please take what Gaby says just for what it is...gossip. I will dig deeper and deeper and deeper...sorry about that, I was thinking about last night and what this female was, oh never mind, but I will get to the bottom of some of these things she brought up. Speaking of bottoms, it seems like Flaming Desire will get a chance to prove themselves worthy of a title shot, while the Rockstars have to prove themselves once again, thanks to the dirty trick by the Dollar Dollar Bills, who still have yet to wrestle in a tag team match. Conveniently, our tag team champs, aren’t even here at the show tonight. Before the match, let me announce this week’s winners of the round trip, all expenses paid trip to our just named pay per view, Buzz S.A.W. The winners are Mike Hunt and Sharon Spittz. Congratulations.
< Final Cut’s Intro Music Plays >
Time for a tag team match. Coming to the ring, making their S.A.W. debut, the team of Big Badd Johnson and Badd Azz Babukas...2 Badd 4 Ya!
< Rockstars Music Play >
Making their...wait? I mean running to the ring, the team of, well it’s the Rockstars!
< Match - Rockstars vs 2 Badd 4 Ya - Visibly upset, the Rockstars skipped their usual guitar mimicking intro and ran straight to the ring. Rad Brad and Far Out Phil slide into the ring and all four men go at it as the bell rings. The Rockstar’s combination of anger and talent was too much for 2 Badd 4 Ya to handle. As the match is over in mere minutes, compliments of their finisher “Chart Buster.” >
Looks like it was too bad for 2 Badd. I knew the Rockstars would be fired up, but wow! DDB’s, you’re building a storm that you might not be able to weather. They destroyed them and even now, after the victory, they don’t appear to be in a celebrative mood. On the subject of moods, not in the mood to cook yourself dinner and worry about your mutt also? The company that brought you Cat Food Helpa is proud to present its newest product, Dog Food Helpa by Corporal Mills. We not only care for your cats but for your dogs too. Available at your local grocery store today. Hot damn!...Dog Food Helpa? O...Kay...,anyways back to the action.
< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring first in this tag team match, the flamboyant and gay team, hey I’m only quoting them! It’s the team of Frances Anthony Gaines, Gregory Anthony Young it’s...Flaming Desire!
< Varsity All-Star’s Music Plays >
Their opponents in this match up, with the winners of this match going on to face the Rockstars for the chance at the DDB’s tag titles at Buzz S.A.W., our first Pay-Per-View. Yes, I was just informed that exciting news. Anyways coming to the ring accompanied by their lovely cheerleader sister Karrie, the team of Chad and Brad Keeble, it’s the triplets, it’s...Varsity All-Stars!
< Match - Flaming Desire vs Varsit
y All-Stars - An extremely good match between two teams that really know tag team wrestling. After several near pins and a broken up finisher attempt by Flaming Desire, they maintain the upper hand after knocking Chad off the top rope during a move attempt. As Frances climbs the turnbuckles to execute his part of their double team finisher, Karrie stands on the ring apron and bends over exposing her g-string underwear under her already revealing skirt. Frances and Gregory look briefly, then both motion “oh well” and without missing a beat, land their finisher “Bottom’s Up” for the victory>
Flaming Desire gains the victory thanks to their finisher, “Bottom’s Up” and speaking of bottom’s up, did she really think that would distract either of those two? Come on now. I mean it worked on me, I can barely remember much of the match now. Brad and Chad look really depressed that they lost. Oh well, while Karrie consoles her brothers, let’s go to an interview, and let’s hope he gets this one right. Simon Tucker is standing by, at least I hope so, with Nathan “Unique” Taylor. Go ahead Simon.
< Backstage >
Simon is standing next to Unique in the hallway. Simon looks over his notes once again, “Hello, I’m Simon Tucker and I’m standing by with...um...” looking through his papers again, “Nathan “Unique” Taylor. So Unique, how do you feel about back to back weeks with chances to get some gold?”
Smiling, Unique replies, “I must be modest or something, it might come to wont if I’m not careful.”
Having little clue what Unique says, Simon simply replies, “Huh?”
“I’m lucky and appreciative.”
“Oh I see. Well Unique, here’s a chance to say something to our fans and your fans.”
“Thank you Simon. This promotion is tantamount compared to others, no neophytes or duffers here. So buy a pig in a poke and don't leave us waiting at the church because of our owners early hokum. Each show will be trinitrotoluene and full of hullabaloo, especially if I have the fad. May Yahweh be with you!”
Scratching his head, Simon asks, “What was all that you said?”
“I told the fans to hang in there, the best is yet to come. What did you think I said?”
Simon shakes his head, “Back to you, Willy.”
Willy?! I got your “Willy” dangling right here buddy! Anyways, I think we might have to ban Unique from getting interviews or maybe have those words flow on the bottom of the screen whenever he talks. I can never understand him. I also got word from some of the crew backstage that Raoul’s not too happy with his match tonight. Last week, he jumped Rage backstage and I expected those two would lock it up soon but not this soon and get this! Tonight,
in the triple main event, yes I said Triple main event, it will be Rage vs Raoul...vs KaBoom vs Mean Mike Ford. If you are wondering who’s Mean Mike? He’s the guy who came down during the last Cutting Edge and interfered with The Stud / KaBoom match. The one that KaBoom sent to the hospital and in return was bloodied up by last week. That is why Raoul is apparently so upset, he said he has to wrestle in a match that is full of crazies who can’t even wrestle. The winner of this fatal four way will face Bobby Rich at the P. P. V. for the title. Wow! Talk about a mouth full, don’t worry I won’t go there. Ha! This next match I bet Bobby wishes Tex didn’t go there as Bobby has to face, not one but two of the Brooklyn Bombers, at the same time! Non-Title of course but still.
< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, the Americas champion, the marked man, the resilient son of the owner, it’s...Bobby Rich!
< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays >
Making their way to the ring for this handicap match are two people who probably wanna leave Bobby handicapped in the ring. Two members of the toughest clique alive, it’s Bruce, it’s Bubba, it’s....The Brooklyn Bombers!
< Match - Bruce and Bubba vs Bobby Rich - Handicap match / non-title- Even though this match was supposed to be tag format, the Brooklyn Bombers rarely tagged, instead they just regularly cheated and came in while the other distracted the ref. Bobby didn’t stand a chance during this match. Any momentum started on one Bomber was thwarted by the other Bomber. Finally, in an act of mercy, they lift him up to finish the match, when suddenly the big screen come on with James “Boogie Down” Brown on it. In his slang heavy talk, he relays the message that he’s tired of them jumping him and that he’s on his way to the ring with a chair. He finished his statement with, “Punks jump up to get beat down!”. BDB then runs out of view and the screen cuts off and BDB’s music plays.
Bruce tells Bubba to go meet him on the ramp. Bubba grabs a chair from ringside and heads up the ramp and waits midway as Boogie Down’s music continues to play.
Meanwhile, James Brown had snuck out of the crowd with a chair and nails Bruce, while the referee had his back to him. BDB rolls back out and Bubba turns around to see the ref count three on his fallen Bomber comrade. He runs back to the ring and Bobby wisely rolled out as he rolled in. >
Bobby won? I didn’t expect that. BDB’s message must have been pre-recorded. Smart move Boogie Down. There’s four of them and only one of you. Divide and conquer, there’s nothing wrong with using the backdoor, just ask Frances or Greg. Ha! Man I bet Bruno and his boys are gonna be really hot for a while about this one. Well, Bruno already has his own problems tonight in the match he’s in. A fatal four way, part of our triple main event. Well it’s time for our next match.
< Mikeal’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, a man we haven’t seen since his “Family emergency” the old school legend of the squared circle, who still wrestles in tube socks, it’s the living legend himself...Mikeal!
< Flying Jalapenos Music Plays >
Coming to the ring and coming from Mexico, the Latin sensation, the Mexican hot stuff, it’s the...Flying Jalapeno!
< On the Ramp >
Tex walks out from backstage, “Cut the music! Cut the music!” The Flying Jalapenos music stops. Tex is standing next to Flying Jalapeno. Tex says, “It seems we have a slight illness bug going on backstage and that The Flying Jalapeno has come down with an illness.”
The Flying Jalapeno is hopping up and down, looking as healthy as could be. Tex put his hand on his shoulder motioning for him to calm down. Flying Jalapeno, who speaks no English, looks at Tex confused and says something in Spanish. Tex, who speaks very little Spanish, replies simply, “Adios” and then points backstage. The Flying Jalapeno looks confused, but goes backstage. Tex turns back toward Mikeal who’s standing in the ring, “As I was saying, since he’s not feeling too well, I had to find a last minute replacement. So hit the music!”
< The Stud’s Music Plays >
What?! The Stud is fighting now also?! He has a match later. Wait, that’s not The Stud, it’s his bodyguard, Crowd Control! Mikeal looks scared out of his wits. This was supposed to be the last match of our gauntlet match at the first Final Cut but Mikeal’s “family emergency” prevented that. Well, it’s time for an unexpected match, but then again this is S.A.W.
< Match - Crowd Control vs Mikeal - Mikeal tries to attack Crowd Control as he enters the ring stepping over the top rope, these blows go unnoticed by Crowd Control. He then delivers one chest slap that sends Mikeal to the mat. As soon as he stands, he catches a big boot to his face dropping him once again. Crowd Control picks him up and ends the embarrassment with his finisher “Move the Crowd “ choke slam and pins Mikeal standing. >
Poor ol Mikeal, all he did was prolong the beating by running in the first place but then again he was trying to avoid the Brooklyn Bombers and at least he did manage that much. Man, I remember when Mikeal would put up a better fight than this. He has been a champion more times than he has fingers and toes but I guess wrestlers are like computers, they become obsolete faster these days. Well, it’s that special time of the show where I announce this week’s winners of the full expense, round trip, pay per view tickets. Going to Buzz S.A.W. our first ever pay per view, the winners are Tara Newhole and Frank N. Benes. Congratulations!
; < Backstage >
Cynthia Cash is standing next to a female wrestler with a ponytail, big grin, and semi-muscular build.
“Hi I’m Cynthia Cash and I’m standing by with one of S.A.W.’s female wrestlers Natalie McMiller.”
“Please, call me Nat,” she says with a grin.
“Yeah, whatever. Anyways, so you came here to wrestle, right, or to be the typical eye candy or a little bit of both?”
“I joined to wrestle period. If someone thinks I’m cute, oh well, so be it, but I started wrestling to make women’s wrestling legit, not just some watered down version of men’s wrestling.”
“Well, you won’t last long then,” says Cynthia sarcastically.
Nat, now not grinning replies, “Longer than you. What are you gonna do when your looks leave and gravity takes over? Dare I ask you what talents landed you this job?”
“Why you little...” says Cynthia until Nat cuts her short, by putting up her hand in Cynthia’s face, “Talk to the hand cause I’m the one in demand.”
She then walks off smiling.
Cynthia just stands stunned and speechless.
Yes! Now that’s my type of girl, cute and spunky. Yeah, Cynthia, shut your mouth before someone sticks a, oh never mind, they would still have to wait in line. Ha! Speaking of in, Cynthia got out of line and in Nat’s face and Nat told her, or well, at least the hand did.
< Natalie McMiller’s Music Plays >
I like her even more; she even has cool music too! There she is. Oh she even did the whatcha call it? The spin thingie and then thrusting her hands up on key with the pyro explosion. I can’t remember what that move’s called, I know it starts with a P. Well she’s a little short for a female wrestler, but who knows.
< Final Cut’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, a woman who has more in-ring experience than most male wrestlers, a former champion, it’s...Charlene Nadir!
< Match- Nat McMiller vs Charlene Nadir - Nat controls this match by perfectly using both her size and quickness. Nadir can barely tell if this jitterbug of lightening is coming or going. After a well executed dropkick, Charlene stands up to be the victim of a top rope hurricana. Nat then picks up Charlene and slams her, setting her up for her top rope finisher, “Miller Time”, a flying top rope leg drop, which gets collective “Oh’s and Ah’s”
from the crowd for the height she managed during the move. She wins easily as the crowd counts the 1, 2, 3, with the ref. >
That was one of the most impressive heights I’ve ever seen! Man or Woman. Wow! I knew she had nice legs, but they gotta be pretty strong too. The crowd is even “Ohhing” again as we show the replay. Nat’s standing watching the replay with that great smile of hers. I still gotta say wow! Wow, wow, wow! Well, it’s time for an interview with Mike Stopsign and Raoul, then after that we’ll have the first match of our triple header main event.
< Backstage >
“Hi, I’m Mike Stopsign and I’m standing by with Raoul, one of the competitors in one of our main event matches. So Raoul, word backstage is that you are upset about this match.”
“No, I’m not upset about this match. Any chance I get to show my fans this great body...” he opens his ring robe, exposing his chiseled physique. “...and a chance to, well, actually a guarantee, to fight in a championship match makes me happy, but what in the world was Tex thinking by putting me in a match with those three maniac losers? They aren’t in my league. Between the three of them they can’t even spell suplex and with their limited repertoires of moves and uncontrollable aggression, they might end up accidentally hurting S.A.W.’s most sexiest man. Just imagine all the fans we would lose with my absence! The ratings would most definitely take a dive! Can you imagine it?!”
Tired of listening to Raoul talk, but still being professional, Stopsign replies, “I can imagine.”
“Can you really?” asks Raoul as he looks Stopsign up and down, “I don’t think you really can, chubby. I mean look at you. You must have no clue what it’s like to be a sex symbol, eye candy, the man. Well anyways, I’ve spent enough time with you. Time to go win this match.”
He then walks off, leaving Stopsign speechless.
Well, confidence is one thing that Raoul is not short of, and to take a stab at Stopsign like that was uncalled for. I mean, yes Mike’s a little overweight, but hey not everyone is obsessed with a mirror like Raoul seems to be.
< Raoul’s Music Plays >
There’s his music and there he is grinning ear to ear. He poses every time he comes out despite how much the crowd boos him. Well actually it’s kinda odd, it’s seems almost 50 / 50 cheers and boos. Well anyway, making his way to the ring, S.A.W.’s self proclaimed sexiest man, the Latin Lover, it’s...Raoul!
< KaBoom’s Music Plays >
The next competitor in this fatal four way match, in which the first person with a pin fall or submission wins. Coming to the ring is the deadly, the volatile, the explosive, it’s...KaBoom!
< Mean Mike’s Music Plays >
The next competitor making his way down to the ring, who I found out is from New York, maybe he knows the Brooklyn Bombers, well it’s the man who always looks upset, and from what I hear usually is, it’s...Mean Mike Ford! Hey, what the hell?! Those two are going at it before Rage has even come out. Raoul is outside the ring enjoying this.
< Match - Raoul vs Rage vs KaBoom vs Mean Mike Ford - Fatal Four Way Match - Rage’s music comes on while Mean Mike and KaBoom go at each other in the ring. Rage runs down to the ring and gives chase to a fleeing Raoul. Raoul rolls into the ring and the two brawling men stop, look at Raoul, then back at each other, then both nail Raoul at the same time with a punch dropping him. Then all four men go at it and as predicted, during the majority of the match KaBoom focused on Mean Mike, while Raoul and Rage went at it. The match ended with Mean Mike trying to put Rage in his finisher “The Rackling” a submission back breaker but Rage slides off his shoulder and grabs Mike and drops him with his finisher “Migraine” a reverse DDT drop. Rage stands and is nailed by KaBoom’s finisher “KaPoww” a running spear. KaBoom stands and is hooked by his tights and flung out of the ring by Raoul, who lays on the downed Rage hooking the tights and feet on the ropes for leverage for a 1, 2, 3, victory.>
Wow! What a finish! What a way to start our triple main event off. Wow! Raoul said he was going to win and he did. I still can’t believe all the action. Well, I hate to leave you, but we have to go to a commercial break, but when we get back it will be time for the Tex Rich vs The Stud in a steel cage championship match.