Kissing the Lass (Scot to the Heart #2)

by Charles, Jane

  “Max also attempted to be a spy and didn’t like it either. The last I heard he was in Egypt, but I believe he was bound for Italy, however I can’t be certain. I haven’t received any correspondence from him recently.”

  Arabella could only stare at Gideon. “Egypt?”

  “Maxwell is an Antiquarian. He loves history and relics and has gone on a number of digs. When he finds religious artifacts, he delivers them to Rome.”

  “When did ye see him last?” Arabella was close to her cousins and even brothers on occasion, and assumed a bond between twins would be stronger, so how could Gideon not be concerned that he didn’t know where his twin was at the moment?

  “Two years, I believe.”

  Arabella’s jaw dropped. “Two years?”

  “Max is not a person who likes to be bound to one place for long. He’s always been far more adventurous than me.”

  “Do ye miss him?” she found herself asking.

  “Max?” a smile pulled at his lips. “Yes, but he’s well and he’s happy.”

  “How can ye ken? Ye havena seen him in two years.”

  “If something were wrong, I’d know,” Gideon assured Arabella. “There is something between twins that cannot be explained, I suppose, but even when distance separated us, the other knew when one of us was hurt, in pain or in danger. He came to France when…”

  “When what?” Arabella asked in alarm when Gideon didn’t finish what he was about to say.

  “I was capture by the French because they thought I was a spy.”

  “Before ye actually were one?”

  “Yes.” He laughed.

  How could he find humor? She’d have been terrified. “Were ye harmed?”

  Gideon held out his arms. “Well and whole, I assure you. It was a misunderstanding and I happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but Max had sensed the danger, or perhaps it was my fear, and left Cornwall immediately to find me.”

  “Amazin’,” Arabella breathed out.

  “That is how I know that my brother is well.”

  She just hoped he was correct, though if anyone of her family had gone so long without contact, she’d blister their ears when they finally did come around.

  “Born after me was Harrison,” Gideon continued without elaborating on his adventure in France, but perhaps it wasn’t something he wished to remember or relive.

  “He is more at home on the water than land and owns a small merchant ship.”

  “So ye doona see him either?” Arabella asked with alarm.

  “I just left him in London,” Gideon assured her. “Harrison sails to the different ports in England, Scotland and France, transporting goods. I could go weeks without seeing him, but he usually shows up to supper at least once a month, though without warning,” Gideon laughed.

  Arabella couldn’t share his humor. Until Davina married and moved to Grant manor, she didn’t go a day without seeing every one of her relatives, with the exception of when one of the men traveled to Edinburgh and then they were only gone a few days.

  “Then there is Jamie.”

  “Does he still reside in Cornwall?” Arabella was almost afraid to ask the question since it appeared none of his siblings remained home. How could a family be close if they lived all over the world? How could Gideon understand her need to be near her family when he thought nothing of the distance of his?

  “Yes. Jamie is mad about horses and has been quite successful in breeding and racing them. When not traveling the racing circuits, he’s at home increasing his stables and training.”

  She supposed traveling the racing circuits a few times a year wasn’t as bad as thinking nothing about having a sister in Italy, a brother in Egypt and another who lived at sea.

  “The last is Olivia, who will soon complete her studies at the Wiggons’ School for Elegant Young Ladies and return home to prepare for her first Season.”

  Arabella frowned. “What is Wiggons’ School?”

  “It’s a boarding school for misses. She’s attended since she was fourteen, as did Sophia.”

  “Even yer sisters dinna live at home?” How could any family send their daughters away, especially for years? The very idea was beyond Arabella’s comprehension.

  “It was my mother’s decision to send Sophia there, and Tristan sent Olivia.”

  Attending a school for girls might have been interesting if not enjoyable, but how would Gideon ever understand her need to be close to family when his sent the girls away at fourteen. His family was so different from hers. More so than she could ever imagine, and it didn’t bode well for their future.

  Gideon had hoped that by telling Arabella about his family she’d become more comfortable. Instead, if he read her correctly, she was more shocked than anything, and he couldn’t understand why. In fact, he thought she’d be glad that so few of his family actually lived in Cornwall and wouldn’t be overwhelmed by their presence.

  “Doesna it bother ye that ye doona see most of your family for months on end?”

  “Yes, but there is little I can do about it.” He leaned forward and poured more wine into her glass. At least she was more relaxed since they’d first arrived, thank goodness. Gideon had feared Arabella would shatter had he even touched her, let alone kiss her, as stiff as she held her body.

  Of course, he assumed it was wedding night fears, which she should have none of, but now was not the time to address the topic.

  Blast, this being married was difficult, especially when it was beginning to sink in how very much they were strangers to one another.

  “If I had it my way, my entire family would reside in Cornwall, but they have their own dreams, interests and passions that have taken them from home.”

  “Was it yer sisters’ dreams to leave home so young and go to school?”

  “First, Wiggons’ is not so far from our estate. Less than a day’s drive, and either one of my sisters could have come back to visit any time they wished.”

  “They werena forced?”

  “Only at first. Mother wanted Sophia to experience the school for a short time, then it was her decision to remain or return.”

  “Why attend the school at all? I had a governess and learned what I needed.”

  As do most misses. “Wiggons’ is unique in preparing misses for their future. To provide knowledge and skills to understand more of what is going on around them than the duties of wife and mother.”

  “Such as?” Arabella asked with a frown.

  “Finances, for one.” He had missed his sisters, but well understood the necessity of the education, even if most gentlemen did not see the need. “Take Tristian and Elaina. Had it been Tristan, Elaina would have been quite lost as to how to go on and would have needed to rely on my brother, Maxwell, for her care. As with Sophia, if something were to happen to Rafe, though she cannot inherit, she understands his estate and the family business. She might not have any power over anything but her children, but she wouldn’t be lost as to what is her due, and what she is owed, and she’d be better able to make decisions on how to move forward.” Gideon leaned forward. “My parents never wanted their daughters to feel powerless, as if they were simply a pawn to be moved from a father’s home into a husband’s without a thought to what was best for them.”

  “As my family and ye have done to me?”

  A chill ran down Gideon’s spine at her words. Is that how she saw their current situation? Would she ever see it any differently? Worse, would she come to resent him? “It isn’t the same. We both know I compromised you. There was little choice.”

  “I’m certain Sophia didn’t marry Rafe because of being compromised.”

  Gideon couldn’t help but smile. “Actually, my sister was well and truly compromised by Scala, leaving my father no choice but to see to their marriage.”

  Arabella’s eyes widened. “So for all of her education, she was still given no choice as to who she married.”

  “Except Sophia didn’t mind. At least not as
much as you.” Gideon’s gut tightened. What if he ended with a wife who would come to hate him?

  He knew that it was a ridiculous handfasting and only meant to last a year and a day. But those were simply words so that Arabella felt she had some control over her situation and to calm her fears. To Gideon, once he spoke the vows, this was for life because no matter what it was called, they were married today, and a marriage is until one is gone from this world.

  He thought that telling her about his family would help, but apparently it only made matters worse. Still, it couldn’t all be because she didn’t feel she knew him well enough, could it?

  “Is it me?” He finally asked. “Since your uncle decided what was to be done, you’ve been in a near panic state.” He took her hands in his. “I must know, is it me that you abhor?”

  “Abhor?” Her eyes widened at the very question, as if she were stunned. “Nay. Ye are wonderful.”

  Gideon blew out a breath because he honestly feared she would reject him, as a person. “What do you fear?”

  Arabella looked down, toying with the stem of her glass. “Cornwall for one.”

  “Cornwall isn’t so bad, but we don’t have to live there.” The location of their home could be an easy solution. Unfortunately, that wasn’t all that mattered.

  “Nay, ye wish to be on the coast.”

  “There is much coast between here and there. I only need to find the perfect location.”

  “But it’s only for a year and a day,” she reminded him, as if she were resigned to some terrible fate.

  “It may be longer.” He squeezed her hand in a promise and to assuage her fears.

  Arabella looked up at him, her blue depths still filled with uncertainty. “Can we remain here, at least for some time?”

  “I will remain for as long as ye need to become used to us being handfasted.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s ridiculous, what the English think, ye ken that doona ya?”

  “Yes,” Gideon admitted, but he didn’t really care what their union was called as long as she understood what it meant, but now wasn’t the time to inform her that he intended to be married for all of their days.

  “Is that all you fear?” he asked quietly. “Being too far away from home?” his gut warned him that it was more, but perhaps he didn’t truly understand. He was close to his family, or thought he had been until he met hers. They practically lived in each other’s pockets and Gideon hadn’t even been that close to his twin after they began to attend school.

  Fear flooded her eyes again, or was that pain?

  “Tell me, Arabella. How can I help if I do not know what you are afraid of?”

  A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and it was like a punch to the gut. She might think him wonderful, but that didn’t mean she wished to be with him.

  “My fear is that I’ll fall in love with ye and ye willna return the feelings, but it will be too late, and when I return after a year and a day, I’ll be quite ruined and my heart shattered.”

  All Gideon could do was stare at her for a moment. He experienced so much relief from her words that he wasn’t certain how to react since yelling and scooping her up in his arms would probably frightening her all the more. Instead, he allowed a small smile, still trying to keep check of his emotions, and asked, “Is that all?”

  “Isna it enough,” she cried.

  Her biggest fear was the same as Gideon’s, that any love would be one-sided. “Arabella, you already hold a part of my heart,” he confessed. It wasn’t his intention to reveal his feelings so early, especially when she’d not admitted hers, only what she feared.

  “Ye are just sayin’ that to make me feel better.”

  “Do you recall one of our earliest conversations?”

  She frowned up at him. “Which one?”

  “About my need to be honest in all things. I wouldn’t tell you that you’ve started to invade my heart if it wasn’t true. To do so would only be cruel and give false hope.

  Tears filled her eyes again. “Truly?”

  “Oh, Arabella.” Gideon set his glass aside then stood, and scooped her up in his arms before returning to his seat where he cradled her on his lap. He’d been wanting to touch and hold her but had been afraid given her skittishness. However, she didn’t fight him. “Truly,” he finally answered as he looked deep into her eyes so that she knew his words were the truth.

  Then he kissed her, gently, warring within himself to ask if he was already in her heart, or if it was just something she feared would happen. Did he want to hear the answer right now, just hours away from taking vows?

  Arabella broke the kiss and looked up at him.

  “What are ye thinkin’?” she asked after a moment.

  “Where does your heart lay?” he blurted out and then held his breath.

  “Ye’ve started to invade my heart as well.”

  Relief coursed through his body, which was halted by the tears in her eyes. “Then why are ye so worried of what is to come?”

  “We doona truly ken each other. This is new and ye are wonderful, but what if after livin’ together and we learn more about the other, ye doona like me anymore.”

  He supposed all couples suffered these insecurities. There really was only one answer, and that was time. “All will be well, Arabella, I promise.” And then he drew her close and kissed the top of her head. In time and if he had the power, she would come to love him and no longer fear, and as he advised, they only needed time.

  She relaxed further into him, the tension leaving her shoulders and spine, as if her worries had been set loose.

  Gideon could have sat there the entire evening with her upon his lap, but he knew it would become too uncomfortable after a time. He just didn’t wish to let go of the comfort, understanding and contentment that surrounded them.

  For the longest time, neither said a word and a quiet contentment filled the room with only the sounds of sparks popping and logs shifting coming from the fire place. He would be a happy man if this was what his future held.

  When she yawned, Gideon sat forward. “It’s getting late, we should retire.”

  And in a blink, Arabella stiffened in his arms, but Gideon bit back a smile.

  “As much as I want you, Arabella, to make you my wife in truth, I will not.”

  She blinked up at him. “I doona understand.”

  “It is not from lack of desire. That I promise. I have wanted you from the first time we kissed.” He paused and studied her. “No, that is not true. From the first time I saw you. I’m certain I forgot to breathe at the sight of the most beautiful face I’d encountered; from your gentle brow, to your bow lips and the bluest of eyes, all framed in delicate auburn curls. I was smitten on the spot.”

  “Ye are bein’ kind again,” she whispered.

  “No. I’m being honest.”

  Arabella pressed her lips against his then pulled away. “If ye want to be man and wife tonight, we can.”

  Physically, it was what he wanted above all else, but now was not the time. “We will when you are ready to accept that we will be together after a year and a day, and that you are certain that you no longer wish to escape back to Anagburn, and are happy in whatever home I find for us.”

  She blinked at him.

  “I will not make you my wife in truth until you are confident you hold my heart and I’m confident I hold yours and that it doesn’t matter where we are as long as we are together.”

  She held his eyes, studying him. “I wish I could tell ye that now.”

  Gideon pressed a finger to her lips. “I don’t expect you to. These past few days have been a shock and all control has been taken from you. Because of that, we will not be intimate until you wish it, then I will know you are ready to be my wife until the end.”

  “Oh Gideon,” Arabella wrapped her arms around him. “That might be sooner than even I expect.”

  “I hope so, lass, I truly do.”

  Chapter 23

  Arab
ella woke to a bright room, sighed and rolled to her back. She’d not slept so well in a very long time. It was lovely and comforting to drift off with her head upon Gideon’s chest, his heartbeat in her ear while his arm cradled her back. She never dreamed sleeping with another could be so soothing.

  Except, he was no longer in bed and Arabella sat up to search the small cottage for her husband.

  Goodness, she had a husband. A kind wonderful man who did care for her and might one day love her as much as she was coming to love him.

  It didn’t take long before she spied his back. Gideon was seated and bent over the small table, writing. There was a stack of parchment at the top corner of the table and another at the other side, and various pieces scattered as if they were waiting to be sanded. Did he always write such long letters? Of course, with so many siblings not living in one place it would require more than one correspondence, and she assumed he was writing to tell of their handfasting. Not far from him, also on the table was a cup and teapot.

  Had the servants come by to deliver tea while she slept? How late had the morning grown?

  Arabella shifted and got out of bed. Gideon straightened, turning in his chair. The smile on his face was nearly her undoing. Such a bonny, wonderful man, her husband was.

  “Good mornin’.”

  “Good morning. He stood and came toward her as Arabella shook out her nightrail so that her legs were no longer exposed.

  As he neared, Gideon placed his hands at her waist, bent and gave her a kiss. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Aye. Better than I believe I ever have.”

  He didn’t admit the same. Perhaps her being curled about him had led to his restless sleep. “Ye dinna?”

  Gideon chuckled. “I slept well enough.”

  Oh dear, she had disturbed his sleep. Tonight, she’d be careful to remain on the other side of the bed instead of being draped upon his chest like a blanket.

  “Is it very late in the morning?”

  Gideon crossed the room to the table and picked up a timepiece. “Barely past seven. Why?”