Complete Works of Elizabeth Barrett Browning

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  Your affectionate

  E.B. BARRETT.

  To Mrs. Martin

  Sidmouth: September 7, 1833.

  My dearest Mrs. Martin, — Are you a little angry again? I do hope not. I should have written long ago if it had not been for Henrietta; and Henrietta would have written very lately if it had not been for me: and we must beg of you to forgive us both for the sake of each other. Thank you for the kind letter which I have been so tardy in thanking you for, but which was not, on that account, the less gladly received. Do believe how much it pleases me always to see and read dear Mrs. Martin’s handwriting. But I must try to tell you some less ancient truths. We are still in the ruinous house. Without any poetical fiction, the walls are too frail for even me, who enjoy the situation in a most particularly particular manner, to have any desire to pass the winter within them. One wind we have had the privilege of hearing already; and down came the tiles while we were at dinner, and made us all think that down something else was coming. We have had one chimney pulled down to prevent it from tumbling down; and have received especial injunctions from the bricklayers not to lean too much out of the windows, for fear the walls should follow the destiny of the chimney. Altogether there is every reasonable probability that the whole house will in the course of next winter be as like Persepolis as anything so ugly can be! If another house which will fit us can be found in Sidmouth, I am sure papa will take it; but, as he said the other day, ‘If I can’t find a house, I must go.’ I hope he may find one, and as near the sea as this ruin. I have enjoyed its moonlight and its calmness all the summer; and am prepared to enjoy its tempestuousness of the winter with as true an enjoyment. What we shall do ultimately, I do not even dream; and, if I know papa, he does not. My visions of the future are confined to ‘what shall I write or read next,’ and ‘when shall we next go out in the boat,’ and they, you know, can do no harm to anybody. Of one thing I have a comforting certainty — that wherever we may go or stay, the decree which moves or fixes us will and must be the ‘wisest virtuousest discreetest best!’ ...

  So, I will change the subject to myself. You told me that you were going to read my book, and I want to know what you think of it. If you were given to compliment and insincerity, I should be afraid of asking you; because, among other evident reasons, I might then appear to be asking for your praise instead of your opinion. As it is — I want to know what you think of my book. Is the translation stiff? If you know me at all (and I venture to hope that you do) you will be certain that I shall like your honesty, and love you for being honest, even if you put on the very blackest of black caps....

  Of course you know that the late Bill has ruined the West Indians. That is settled. The consternation here is very great. Nevertheless I am glad, and always shall be, that the negroes are — virtually — free!

  May God bless you, dear Mrs. Martin!

  Ever believe me, your affectionate

  E.B. BARRETT.

  To H.S. Boyd

  Sidmouth: Friday .

  My dear Friend, — I don’t know how I shall begin to persuade you not to be angry with me, but perhaps the best plan will be to confess as many sins as would cover this sheet of paper, and then to go on with my merits. Certainly I am altogether guiltless of your charge of not noticing your book’s arrival because no Calvinism arrived with it. I told you the bare truth when I told you why I did not write immediately. The passage relating to Calvinism I certainly read, and as certainly was sorry for; but as certainly as both those certainties, such reading and such regret had nothing whatever to do with the silence which made you so angry with me.

  The other particular thing of which I should have written is Mr. Parker and my letters. I am more and, more sorry that you should have sent them to him at all — not that their loss is any loss to anybody, but that I scarcely like the idea — indeed, I don’t like it at all — of their remaining, worthless as they are, at Mr. P.’s mercy. As for my writing about them, I should not be able to make up my mind to do that. You know I had nothing to do with their being sent to Mr. Parker, and was indeed in complete ignorance of it. Besides, I should be half ashamed to write to him now on any subject. A very long interregnum took place in our correspondence, which was his own work; and when he wrote to me the summer before last, I delayed from week to week, and then from month to month, answering it. And now I feel ashamed to write at all.

  Perhaps you will wonder why I am not ashamed to write to you. Indeed I have meant to do it very, very often. Don’t be severe upon me. I am always afraid of writing to you too often, and so the opposite fault is apt to be run into — of writing too seldom. IF THAT is a fault. You see my scepticism is becoming faster and faster developed.

  Let me hear from you soon, if you are not angry. I have been reading the Bridgewater treatise, and am now trying to understand Prout upon Chemistry. I shall be worth something at last, shall I not? Who knows but what I may die a glorious death under the pons asinorum after all? Prout (if I succeed in understanding him) does not hold that matter is infinitely divisible; and so I suppose the seeds of matter — the ultimate molecules — are a kind of tertium quid between matter and spirit. Certainly I can’t believe that any kind of matter, primal or ultimate, can be indivisible, which it must according to his view.

  Chalmers’s treatise is, as to eloquence, surpassingly beautiful; as to matter, I could not walk with him all the way, although I longed to do it, for he walked on flowers, and under shade— ‘no tree on which a fine bird did not sit.’ ...

  Believe me, your affectionate friend,

  E.B.B.

  To H.S. Boyd

  Sidmouth: September 14, .

  My dear Mr. Boyd, — I won’t ask you to forgive me for not writing before, because I know very well that you would rather have not heard from me immediately.... And so, you and Mrs. Mathew have been tearing to pieces — to the very rags — all my elaborate theology! And when Mr. Young is ‘strong enough,’ he is to help you at your cruel work! ‘The points upon which you and I differed’ are so numerous, that if I really am wrong upon every one of them, Mrs. Mathew has indeed reason to ‘punish me with hard thoughts.’ Well, she can’t help my feeling for her much esteem, although I never saw her. And if I were to see her, I would not argue with her; I would only ask her to let me love her. I am weary of controversy in religion, and should be so were I stronger and more successful in it than I am or care to be. The command is not ‘argue with one another,’ but ‘love one another.’ It is better to love than to convince. They who lie on the bosom of Jesus must lie there together!

  Not a word about your book! Don’t you mean to tell me anything of it? I saw a review of it — rather a satisfactory one — I think in an August number of the ‘Athenaeum.’ If you will look into ‘Fraser’s Magazine’ for August, at an article entitled ‘Rogueries of Tom Moore,’ you will be amused with a notice of the ‘Edinburgh Review’s’ criticism in the text, and of yourself in a note. We have had a crowded Bible meeting, and a Church Missionary and London Missionary meeting besides; and I went last Tuesday to the Exmouth Bible meeting with Mrs. Maling, Miss Taylor, and Mr. Hunter. We did not return until half-past one in the morning.... The Bishop of Barbadoes and the Dean of Winchester were walking together on the beach yesterday, making Sidmouth look quite episcopal. You would not have despised it half so much, had you been here.

  Do you know any person who would like to send his or her son to Sidmouth, for the sake of the climate, and private instruction: and if you do, will you mention it to me? I am very sorry to hear of Mrs. Boyd being so unwell. Arabel had a letter two days ago from Annie, and as it mentions Mrs. Boyd’s having gone to Dover, I trust that she is well again. Should she be returned, give my love to her.

  The black-edged paper may make you wonder at its cause. Our dear aunt Mrs. Butler died last month at Dieppe — and died in Jesus. Miss Clarke is going, if she is not gone, to Italy for the winter.

  Believe me, affectionately yours,

  E.B. BARRETT.
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  Write to me whenever you dislike at least, and tell me what your plans are. I hear nothing about our leaving Sidmouth.

  To Miss Commeline

  September 22, 1834 [Sidmouth].

  I am afraid that there can be no chance of my handwriting at least being unforgotten by you, dear Miss Commeline, but in the case of your having a very long memory you may remember the name which shall be written at the end of this note, and which belongs to one who does not, nor is likely to forget you! I was much, much obliged to you for the kind few lines you wrote to me — how long ago! No, do not remember how long — do not remember that for fear you should think me unkind, and — what I am not! I have intended again and again to answer your note, and I am doing it — at last! Are you all quite well? Mrs. Commeline and all of you? Shall I ever see any of you again? Perhaps I shall not; but even if I do not, I shall not cease to wish you to be well and happy ‘in the body or out of the body.’

  We came to Sidmouth for two months, and you see we are here still; and when we are likely to go is as uncertain as ever. I like the place, and some of its inhabitants. I like the greenness and the tranquillity and the sea; and the solitude of one dear seat which hangs over it, and which is too far or too lonely for many others to like besides myself. We are living in a thatched cottage, with a green lawn bounded by a Devonshire lane. Do you know what that is? Milton did when he wrote of ‘hedgerow elms and hillocks green.’ Indeed Sidmouth is a nest among elms; and the lulling of the sea and the shadow of the hills make it a peaceful one. But there are no majestic features in the country. It is all green and fresh and secluded; and the grandeur is concentrated upon the ocean without deigning to have anything to do with the earth. I often find my thoughts where my footsteps once used to be! but there is no use in speaking of that....

  Pray believe me, affectionately yours,

  E.B. BARRETT.

  To Mrs. Martin

  Sidmouth: Friday, December 19, 1834 [postmark].

  My dearest Mrs. Martin, — ... We have lately had deep anxiety with regard to our dear papa. He left us two months ago to do his London business: and a few weeks since we were told by a letter from him that he was ill; he giving us to understand that his complaint was of a rheumatic character. By the next coach, we were so daring (I can scarcely understand how we managed it) as to send Henry to him: thinking that it would be better to be scolded than to suffer him to be alone and in suffering at a London hotel. We were not scolded: but my prayer to be permitted to follow Henry was condemned to silence: and what was said being said emphatically, I was obliged to submit, and to be

  thankful for the unsatisfactory accounts which for many days afterwards we received.... I cannot help being anxious and fearful. You know he is all left to us — and that without him we should indeed be orphans and desolate. Therefore you may well know what feelings those are with which we look back upon his danger; and forwards to any threatening of a return of it.... It may not be so. Do not, when you write, allude to my fearing about it. Our only feeling now should certainly be a deep feeling of thankfulness towards that God of all consolation Who has permitted us to know His love in the midst of many griefs; and Who while He has often cast upon us the sorrow and the shadow, has yet enabled us to recognise it as that ‘shadow of the wings of the Almighty,’ wherein we may ‘rejoice.’ We shall probably see our dear papa next week. At least we know that he is only waiting for strength and that he is already able to go out — I fear, not to walk out. Here we are all well. Belle Vue is sold, and we shall probably have to leave it in March: but I do not think that we shall do so before. Henrietta is still very anxious to leave Sidmouth altogether; and I still feel that I shall very much grieve to leave it: so that it is happy for us that neither is the decider on this point. I have often thought that it is happier not to do what one pleases, and perhaps you will agree with me — if you don’t please at the present moment to do something very particular. And do tell me, dear Mrs. Martin, what you are pleasing to do, and what you are doing: for it seems to me, and indeed is, a long time since I heard of you and Mr. Martin in detail. Miss Maria Commeline sent a note to Henrietta a fortnight ago: and in it was honorable mention of you — but I won’t interfere with the sublimities of your imagination, by telling you what it was.... I should like to hear something of Hope End: whether there are many alterations, and whether the new lodge, of which I heard, is built. Even now, the thought stands before me sometimes like an object in a dream that I shall see no more those hills and trees which seemed to me once almost like portions of my existence. This is not meant for murmuring. I have had much happiness at Sidmouth, though with a character of its own. Henrietta and Arabel and I are the only guardians just now of the three youngest boys, the only ones at home: and I assure you, we have not too little to do. They are no longer little boys. There is an anxiety among us just now to have letters from Jamaica — from my dear dear Bro — but the packet is only ‘expected.’ The last accounts were comforting ones; and I am living on the hope of seeing him back again in the spring. Stormie and Georgie are doing well at Glasgow. So Dr. Wardlaw says.... Henrietta’s particular love to you; and do believe me always,

  Your affectionate

  E.B. BARRETT.

  You have of course heard of poor Mrs. Boyd’s death. Mr. Boyd and his daughter are both in London, and likely, I think, to remain there.

  To H.S. Boyd

  Sidmouth: Tuesday [spring 1835].

  My dear Mr. Boyd, — ... Now I am going to tell you the only good news I know, and you will be glad, I know, to be told what I am going to tell you. Dear Georgie has taken his degree, and very honorably, at Glasgow, and is coming to us in all the dignity of a Bachelor of Arts. He was examined in Logic, Moral Philosophy, Greek and Latin, of course publicly: and we have heard from a fellow student of his, that his answers were more pertinent than those of any other of the examined, and elicited much applause. Mr. Groube is the fellow student — but he has ceased to be one, having found the Glasgow studies too heavy for his health. Stormie shrank from the public examination, on account of the hesitation in his speech. He would not go up; although, according to report, as well qualified as Georgie. Mr. Groube says that the ladies of Glasgow are preparing to break their hearts for Georgie’s departure: and he and Stormie leave Glasgow on May I. Now, I am sure you will rejoice with me in the result of the examination. Do you not, dear friend? I was very anxious about it; and almost resigned to hear of a failure — for Georgie was in great alarm and prepared us for the very worst. Therefore the surprise and pleasure were great.

  I can’t tell you of our plans; although the Glasgow students come to us in a week and this house will be too small to receive them. We may leave Sidmouth immediately, or not at all. I shall soon be quite qualified to write a poem on the ‘Pleasures of Doubt’ — and a very good subject it will be. The pleasures of certainty are generally far less enjoyable — I mean as pleasures go in this unpleasing world. Papa is in London, and much better when we heard from him last — and we are awaiting his decree....

  And now what remains for me to tell you? I believe I have read more Hebrew than Greek lately; yet the dear Greek is not less dear than ever. Who reads Greek to you? Who holds my office? Some one, I hope, with an articulation of more congenial slowness.

  Give Annie my kind love. May God preserve both of you!

  Believe me, your affectionate friend,

  E.B. BARRETT.

  CHAPTER II. 1835-1841

  The residence of the Barretts at Sidmouth had never been a very settled one — never intended to be permanent, and yet never having a fixed term nor any reason for a fixed term. Hence it spread itself gradually over a space of nearly three years, before the long contemplated move to London actually took place. During the latter part of that period, however, extant letters of Miss Barrett are almost wholly wanting, and there is little information from any other source as to the course of her life. It was apparently in the summer of 1835 that Sidmouth was finally left behind, M
r. Barrett having then taken a house at 74 Gloucester Place (near Baker Street), which, though never regarded as more than a temporary residence, continued to be the home of his family for the next three years.