“I guess I never thought about it like that.”
“None of you have. I think someone said something years ago in their little group of friends about her hitting on a lot of women or having sex with some of them and it somehow turned into this thing that she’s hooking up with every woman in the city.”
“But she’s not? Or at least she hasn’t since meeting you?”
“Since before that even. I’m not going to tell you anything I think she should probably be the one to explain, but Macon isn’t this Lothario you all make her out to be. She’s nice to women, yes. She might flirt back. She might even kiss a few of them. But she’s not taking them home with her. In fact, she told me she’d never had a woman in her apartment: a woman she wanted to sleep with or has slept with.”
“You’ve been in her apartment. She wants to sleep with you,” Emma posited.
“Well, that’s a recent occurrence.”
Emma nearly cackled at that and said, “If by recent you mean since the moment Greene laid eyes on you...”
“She did not–”
“Oh, yeah, she did.” Emma turned her entire body on her stool to face Joanna. “Keira doesn’t know this, because Greene asked me not to say anything. She knows how my girlfriend is: she’s like a dog with a bone, sometimes. Back then, neither of them knew you well. Keira might have tried to test the waters with you; see if you’d be into the idea of converting our wayward flirt of a friend into having a serious relationship. Once she knew you were straight for sure, though, she would have tried to intervene, to prevent Greene from getting too involved, because she wouldn’t want her to end up getting hurt.” Emma smiled at the accurate description of her girlfriend.
“What did Macon say?”
“She told me she thought you were hot,” Emma offered. “Then, she said you weren’t hot.”
“Wait. What?”
“She said you were hot again, and then corrected herself and said you’re somehow both hot and beautiful and, normally, she only notices the hot part.”
“That sounds like her,” Joanna said.
“She wanted to ask you out, but she’d overheard you talking about an ex-boyfriend one night. Then, you were off limits.”
“She wanted to ask me out?”
“From the beginning. I think she kind of turned it off. It seemed like she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She tried to put it behind her and see you as just a friend. As time went on, I wondered if she’d been successful at that, because from where I was sitting, it didn’t seem like that.”
Joanna smiled. The smile faltered when she thought about how she must have caused Macon pain over the past year.
“I didn’t know.”
“How could you? Greene is good at hiding when she needs to. It’s not like you’re the first straight woman she’s been into,” Emma revealed. “That came out wrong. Sorry.”
“No, what do you mean? The girls she’s flirted with?”
“No, I mean Liv.”
“Liv?”
“You don’t know?”
“About someone named Liv? No.”
“Oh, maybe she should be the one to tell you. I thought you knew. I only know because Keira told me.”
“Tell me.”
“You should talk to her, I think. It’s not my place.”
“You brought it up, Emma,” Joanna persisted.
“Because I thought you two had discussed it.”
“Well, we haven’t, obviously. She told me about Daniella, but not much about her other relationships other than they were short.”
“Just ask her about it the next time you talk. I’m sure she’ll fill you in.”
“I’m kind of wondering why she hasn’t already,” Joanna said.
◆◆◆
“Hey there, world traveler,” she greeted Macon.
“Hey,” Macon replied. “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” she answered. “You?”
“I’m good. We have an early rehearsal. I wanted to give you a quick goodnight call before I have to head in.”
Joanna looked at the clock and noticed it was after eleven her time, which meant it was after eight in the morning in Rome.
“You’re sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“I plan on telling everyone,” she replied playfully. “How was rehearsal?”
“It was good. The orchestra is nice, and they’re like every other orchestra, so they can obviously play. Gail thinks they’re better than Sydney. And I think sections might be better than Sydney but, as a whole, Rome is better at performance.”
Joanna had heard the name Gail a few times and knew she was along on the tour with Macon as the coordinator’s assistant. She knew she was young and nice, but that was about all Macon had revealed about her.
“Gail, huh?”
“Yeah, we hang out sometimes. She doesn’t know anyone here either.”
“Right.” Joanna stood from her sofa and moved to the front door to make sure it was locked for the night. “Is she gay?”
“Yes.”
“And you guys hang out?”
“We do.” Greene laughed lightly. “Are you jealous?”
“No.”
“Jo…”
“Do you think she’s interested?”
“In me?”
“No, in the fucking wallpaper of your hotel room, Macon. Of course, I mean you.”
She was jealous. Yeah, definitely jealous. Macon could only laugh for a few minutes, or at least it felt like it was a few minutes.
“Jo, she tried the first time we hung out, but I wasn’t into it. That’s me being completely honest with you. She’s the hit and run kind of girl, and she’s about ten years younger than us.”
“So, she’s backed off?” she asked hopefully.
“I told her about you back in Sydney. She asks about you all the time now.”
“Oh, so now she’s into me?” Joanna smiled as she headed to her bedroom.
“She better not be,” Macon said. “She’s fun to hang out with; it’s not like I have any friends wherever we go. But she knows I’m not into her like that. I think she’s in that phase where she wants to pick up a woman a night.”
“Gross.”
“Yeah, but it’s cute that you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” She flopped down on the edge of her bed, laid back, unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. “I just know how women are around you.”
“And you know I’m not interested.”
“I know,” she replied softly and slid out of the jeans she’d been wearing all day. “I know, Macon. I didn’t mean that you would do anything. It’s just hard picturing someone else around you when I can’t be, especially when they’re into women.”
“What are you doing right now? What am I hearing?”
“I’m changing for bed.”
“You can’t do that when you’re on the phone with me,” Macon exclaimed.
Joanna stood and kicked her jeans the rest of the way off.
“Why not? You called to say goodnight. I’m changing so that I can get some sleep.”
“And now I’m picturing you in your underwear near a bed. Thanks, Jo.”
Joanna laughed and tossed the jeans into her laundry basket, on top of the pile of other dirty clothes.
“You know what I miss?”
“Your pants? Put them back on. Add a sweater or maybe a parka to that, too,” Macon suggested and received laughter in return from Joanna.
“I sleep in my panties and a t-shirt, mostly,” she informed. “Sometimes, I sleep naked if it’s hot enough outside.”
“Fuck, Jo. I’m in public here.”
Joanna couldn’t believe she could have this kind of effect on someone as beautiful as Macon Greene.
“I miss you doing laundry over here.” She changed the subject. “I miss having lunch and talking while things are in the washer.”
“Me too.”
“When you get back, I bet you’ll ha
ve a lot of laundry. Think maybe you’ll pay me a visit to use the machines?”
“No, Jo,” Macon replied, and Joanna’s playful smile disappeared. “I plan on paying you a visit to take you on a date.”
“A date, huh?” The smile returned.
“Our first date,” Macon corrected.
“That sounds nice.”
“Too many more days here without you.”
“Twenty more, to be exact,” Joanna said.
“You’re counting the days?”
“Since you left, yeah.”
“I miss you.”
“This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing one another,” Joanna added.
“Never again.”
“Never again,” she agreed with a smile. “Have a good rehearsal. Let them hear you, Macon.”
“They always hear me. It’s kind of hard not to, when I’m the only one playing.”
“No, Make. I mean let them really hear you; play for them how you played for me that night.”
There was silence for several moments. Joanna worried she’d said something wrong.
“I was going to make a comment that if I played like that for them, they’d all jump up and kiss me. But I think what I’d rather say is that I don’t want to play for anyone else how I played for you.”
“Save the kissing for me, but give them that part of you, Macon. I’ve seen it now. I saw it that night. I saw it when I went to the performance. It’s beautiful. You’re so beautiful when you play.”
“I’ll try.”
“Don’t try, honey. Do it. Let yourself go. Let them see that part of you. You don’t have to be scared to let it out.”
“Did you just call me honey?”
“I’ve called you that before. I think I called you sweetie once or twice, too.”
“You have. I had to remember we were just friends every time you did that.”
“Well, we’re not just friends anymore, are we?”
“I guess not,” Macon agreed with her.
“Macon, I want this. I want us.”
“I believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t before.”
“Don’t be. Just have the best time playing on your first ever world tour, and then come back here so we can really start this.”
“I will. I should get ready. I have to shower and change.”
“Shower, huh?”
“Yeah, now you know how it feels. You live with that image now. Picture my hands running all over–”
“Okay. I get it.” Joanna laughed. “I’ll just say, ‘have a good day,’ and hang up now.”
“Good night, Jo.”
“Have a good day, Make.”
CHAPTER 14
“How’s Vienna?” Joanna asked.
“Your face is prettier,” Macon replied while smiling back at her.
“You’re sweet to me.” Joanna rolled her eyes. “But it is nice to see you when we talk. I’ve missed those eyes.”
“Now, who’s sweet?” Macon wiggled her eyebrows at her. “I’m exhausted. I might not be up for long.”
“It’s late there; I understand. How was the performance?”
“It was the last one. It went well. All of them recently have gone really well.”
“Recently? Why?”
“Because I listened to you,” she admitted, and Joanna smiled when she did.
“How so?”
“You told me to let it out, to just be me out there; and I did. I guess people like it.”
“Of course, they do, Macon. You’re so good. I’ve been watching the videos the orchestras have posted of your performances on their sites. Some have been posted on YouTube already, and there are only good comments. One has ten thousand views, and it was posted like two days ago.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“I didn’t know. They keep me pretty busy here. If I’m not rehearsing with the group, I’m in a solo room. If I’m not doing that, I’m eating or sleeping. I haven’t even seen these cities I’ve been to.”
“That’s no good. You need to try to make time for a little sightseeing. These are beautiful places, Make. You should see them.”
“I will,” Macon replied. “I have something I need to talk to you about.” She turned serious.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Joanna pulled her knees into her body and placed her socked feet on the desk chair.
“They want to extend the tour,” she replied.
“Extend?”
“Two more weeks.”
“Oh.”
“I know,” Macon replied. “It would be two weeks in Boston. They want me to perform at Berklee, since that’s where I went. They’ve got me doing a few shows in other places, too. I haven’t been back since I moved.”
“So, you’re going to Boston?”
“Not yet. I mean, they asked me in Rome, but I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“And now you’re in Vienna and only have one more show before you head to Paris.”
“I know. I waited because Gail had to get me all the details. I didn’t want to talk to you until I saw it all in writing. If I didn’t want to do it, there was no point.”
“But you want to?”
Macon squeezed her lips together as if trying to stop herself from saying it.
“I think I do, yeah. I had a great time in school. I loved the city. Some of my old teachers will be there. They want me to teach some talented current students,” Macon explained. “Temporarily,” she added.
“Are you sure it’s temporary?”
“I don’t want to live there.”
“I mean the tour. Will it extend further?”
“No, this is it. I have to get back home to finish up the season. It’s in the contract.”
“I can do another two weeks,” Joanna said.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to. I miss you, but I understand. I want you to do this for yourself. You’re too good to just sit in an orchestra.”
“You’re biased.”
“Maybe. I’ve gotten a private performance.” Joanna smiled at her. “So, two more weeks. I guess we’ll push our first date back. I’ll cancel the reservations.”
“You made reservations somewhere?” The woman seemed surprised.
“Maybe.”
“Where?”
“You get that information when you get home and we can actually try this whole dating thing in person and not on screens.”
Macon laughed and took a moment to respond.
“I can’t wait to see you in person.”
“Me neither.” She softened at the words and the sight of Macon’s face as she said them.
“You know that thing we did when we talked the first time?”
Joanna’s face reddened at the mention, and she replied, “Yes.”
“I want that for real with you, Jo.”
“Me too.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I told you–”
“I know. But saying it and going through with it are two different things. We haven’t talked about that yet: sex.”
“I think we talked a lot about it that night,” Joanna countered.
Macon smiled at her softly and said, “You know what I mean. That was different. That was us speaking in hypotheticals; when I’m here and you’re there.”
“So, you’re worried that when we’re in the same room, I won’t want to go through with it, or that I’ll be scared or won’t like it after?”
“Jo, if we do that and you don’t–”
“Who’s Liv, Make?”
“What?”
“Liv, who is she?”
“Who told you about Liv?”
“Not you,” Joanna returned.
Macon looked away from the screen for a moment before meeting her eyes again.
“I would have told you about her.”
“But you didn’t. Why?”
“Because she was a mistake.”
“She was
straight?”
“Yes. And I dated her anyway, believing that she wanted me, and thinking we could have a real relationship one day.”
“What happened?”
“We were friends for a while first; kind of like you and me. I met her when I first moved back. I knew she was straight. I still liked her, though, and thought that maybe it was even more than that. One night, she broke up with her boyfriend and invited me over as a shoulder to cry on. She kissed me. I kissed her back. I left right away because I knew what it was about.” Macon paused. “She apologized, and then a week later, she asked me to come over again. She told me she wanted to try to be with me and that part of the reason she’d ended it with her ex was because of me. I stayed over that night, but we didn’t sleep together. She wanted to take things slow. I understood. We dated for a few weeks, but I was already more than smitten.” She looked away again and then met Joanna’s eyes once more. “When we finally slept together, she didn’t reciprocate, which was fine. I got it. I didn’t have a problem with it the first time, or the second time, or even the third time.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah… By the fourth time, I thought I should say something or ask her if I could do anything to help, to make it more comfortable for her or something.” There was a longer pause this time. “When I went to her apartment one night to surprise her with dinner, the front door was unlocked. I went right in and found her kneeling on the floor of her living room, with her ex-boyfriend standing right in front of her, minus his pants.”
“Jesus, Macon.” She leaned forward. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not many people know about that; maybe only Keira. I’m guessing she’s the one that told you.”
“It was Emma, actually. But I think that comes with the coupling: the telling of secrets.”
“I guess.” Macon nodded and looked far off.
“So, you’re worried I’d do that to you?”
“That specifically – no.” Her face told Joanna she had something else to say. “Jo, I thought I had intense feelings for her. Seeing that hurt like hell. Hearing her tell me after that she just couldn’t do the girl thing but she really liked me as a friend hurt even worse, because I should have known. I should have known she wouldn’t have been able to commit.”
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