Supernatural Dating Agency - The Complete Collection (Books 1-6)

by Andie M. Long

  “It’s not from me, Ebony.” He said. “Oh, I’ve someone else wanting to pay their bill. Take care and I’ll see you again soon.”

  I walked out of the restaurant and headed down towards the sea front. Maybe my mind had been playing tricks on me with the whole wedding business? I had just suffered from the spell blocking my visions. It must have been some after effect. Perhaps I just wasn’t destined for love?

  “Ebony. Wait up.”

  “Oh God.” I muttered as I saw Henry rushing in my direction. I ducked into a side street to try to give him the slip. Right now, I didn’t need his pity, and he needed to get back to his date, although I guessed that now he was on his way here I should warn him about his zipper.

  “Are you trying to get attacked, going down dark alleys? Why are you trying to avoid me when I know damn well you saw me?”

  “Henry, get back to your date. Oh and I need to warn you-”

  Before I knew what was happening Henry had pushed me back against the wall and crushed his lips to mine. A thousand thoughts hit me all at once.

  What the actual fuck?

  Get off me.

  What about your date?

  Oh his body is crushing mine.

  His chest is rock hard.

  That’s not all that’s rock hard.

  His lips are hot.

  He’s a great kisser.

  Like my brain had left the building, I found myself returning the kiss hard. Henry’s hands traveled down the V of the neck of my dress, trailing across a breast and teasing my nipple.

  I could feel his hardness pressing against me and I had the most random thoughts. I was living life right? Perhaps I should totally ‘get some’ outdoors, right now!

  “I want you, Henry. Now. Here.”

  His hands traveled to his zipper.

  Oh God no. Was that what I’d seen?

  “Henry. No.” I yelled. “Don’t.”

  He backed away like I’d slapped him. “I knew it. Decided I’m not good enough for you, have you? Forget it. I’m an idiot.”

  “No, no, let me explain.”

  “Save it.” He said. “I hate bloody Valentine’s Day. Now get a cab home before you’re attacked, although it pains me to give a shit.”

  He walked away and all I could do was watch as he went out of sight.

  Chapter Ten

  Shelley

  It was Valentine’s evening and apart from Mary being at the far end of the farmhouse enjoying chatting with her date (we made her a sitting room next to her bedroom for the occasion by moving a few pieces of furniture around), and the baby; myself and Theo found ourselves thankfully alone.

  I’d bought us a bottle of a vintage O-neg to enjoy and we sat next to each other on the sofa curled up together. Charlie was asleep upstairs in her cot.

  “I don’t remember the last time we had some peace and quiet. It’s been very hectic lately hasn’t it?” I said to him.

  “It really has. What with your turning, the were thing, and then Charlene’s birth; it seems like forever since we got to cuddle on the sofa. We seem to permanently have interruptions.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip.

  “What? Shelley. Tell me what’s on your mind?”

  “It’s the B&B. Won’t we have constant interruptions once that opens?”

  He squeezed my hand. “Hopefully not too many. Henry has everything in hand and he has a builder friend who’s going to help. The idea is to make the East side of the Farmhouse the B&B. It will have its own sitting rooms, dining room etc, and then this side will be our home. I’m not offering evening meals and I’m not having a bar. I’ll keep a vending machine for drinks and one for snacks and so it should cut down on guest interruptions. Plus my mother will help. My vamp speed means cleaning is a doddle and doesn’t take long. I’m excited about it. About seeing all the rooms of the farmhouse occupied. It’s been empty for too long and it’s such a beautiful building. While Henry is here why don’t you have a think about what you’d like doing with our half of the house?”

  “Won’t your mum object to any changes?”

  He straightened. “It’s not her house anymore. She’s on a date tonight. She’s moving on from her past; from her being a ghost widow. She needs to let go of her feelings for the past house too.”

  “Is it strange, your mum being on a date?”

  “Not after all these years. I’ve seen so much that goes against normal since I was turned into a vampire. I look young, yet I’m 127. My mum looks only a few years older than me. Things aren’t defined by the accepted societal norms. It’s so long since I lost my father and I have only vague memories of him now. My mum must be the same. And she’s now living in the year 2018 and wanting to embrace it.”

  “Do you think by moving on, she might actually disappear off to heaven?”

  Theo shrugged. “I really don’t know. I guess that’s a question for Frankie and his database of the supernaturals. She’s here because of her traumatic death. A happy relationship wouldn’t change the fact I brutally murdered her in the farmhouse. She still gets pissed at me.”

  “Hmmmm. I can’t believe I used to think my life was complicated if I had to choose between four different pairs of shoes before a night out.”

  “Do you miss that life?” He asked with an inflection in his tone.

  I looked at my gorgeous husband and snuggled in closer.

  “Not in the slightest. I have you and my daughter and even with all the chaos that surrounds our lives, I couldn’t be happier.”

  He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mrs Theo Landry. I love you.”

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr Shelley Landry. I love you too.” I gave him a peck on the lips.

  “Like that is it?” Theo started to tickle me.

  “Not fair. That’s cheating. You know I can’t…” I began to giggle.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Shelley.”

  “What’s your name?” The tickling was incessant, and I could hardly breathe.

  “Mrs Theo… L-Landry. You cheating sod.”

  “Better.” Theo winked. “Now as your reward I shall take you upstairs and ravish you.”

  We headed quietly up to the bedroom, not wanting to make what we were doing obvious, or wake Charlie, who was in the adjoining room, protected by as many wards as I could think up.

  Theo slowly stripped me of all my clothing and then removed his own before joining me in the bed.

  He moved above me and then we heard the noise.

  “Whooooooo-oooooooooohhhhh-ooooooooooo.”

  We both stilled.

  Theo stared at me. “What the hell is that noise?”

  “Whooooooo-oooooooooohhhhh-ooooooooooo.”

  He leapt off the bed and began to put his trousers back on. “It sounds like my mum, like she’s wailing. Don’t you think it sounds like an unhappy ghost noise? Maybe she’s realised how much she still misses my father after all.”

  “Whooooooo-oooooooooohhhhh-ooooooooooo. Ohhhhhhh yeeaaaaaaaaahhh.”

  Theo’s alabaster face paled further.

  I burst out laughing.

  “I don’t think she’s missing him at all.”

  The next morning with Theo sound asleep, I walked into the kitchen to be met by a smiling translucent Mary. She hovered as if sitting at the kitchen table. Ebony sat at the side of her nursing a black coffee. She said good morning, but her expression didn’t match her words.

  “Good morning, Shelley. How was your Valentine’s?” Mary beamed at me.

  “Erm, nice. Thank you.” How could I tell her it had been ruined by her own evening? There was no way me and Theo could get down and dirty after we realised what was going down in Mary’s room and knowing it was possibly her date. Plus the wailing had gone on.. and on… and we had sensitive vampire ears. We would need therapy.

  “I had the most fantastic date.”

  “Did you?”

  “You have to hear all about it, lik
e I have.” Ebony grimaced. “Every single detail. Tell her, Mary, before you disappear. She’s so full of it, her energy is wearing down.”

  “Let me get a coffee and then I’ll come sit with you.” I took a deep breath and hoped to God she didn’t make me throw up.

  “So. His name was Alistair, and he died in the 1990’s. He went to a fancy dress party as Madonna wearing a conical bra like she wore at the time and fell down the stairs because he couldn’t see past them. He had a head injury. Luckily his parents changed him into a pair of nice navy-blue pyjamas before he died, and had taken his makeup off, or he’d have been stuck wearing his Madonna outfit, although to be fair I know anything goes these days and I’d have still given him a whirl. I’m very pleased to report he wasn’t Like a Virgin.”

  I shared a look with Ebony that clearly said ‘help’. She just looked at her drink. Cowbag.

  “Anyhow, because he died in hospital, he’s not tethered and can travel around Withernsea. However, he’s furious and bitter about losing his life at the age of 27. Not least because someone had left a sausage roll on the stairs and that’s what he slipped on. He was a vegetarian. Like he says, ‘meat is murder’. Apart from his meat… and two veg. He could accost me with his weapon any time.”

  A bit of coffee sicked up into my throat.

  “Anyway. It would appear that ghosts can fuel each other up a little because even though we were at it all night, we never got tired! I learned so much! In my day you had to be very demure and let the man take charge. Well, let me tell you. I sucked on that stick like it was a Sherbert Dib Dab, and his tongue, he went down-”

  “Stairs. Downstairs. Got it. Don’t need to hear any more of the actual who did what. You had a nice date. That’s all I need to hear. A. Nice. Date.”

  Mary rolled her eyes. “I had a very nice date.” She paused for a beat. “And fourteen orgasms.”

  “Mary!”

  She chuckled. “That’s not all.”

  “I don’t think my ears can take any more, Mary.”

  “Because we ‘joined’, somehow when I’m with him, he can take me out of the house.”

  I sat up straighter.

  “He can?”

  “Yes, so we’re off out for the day. After a century I’m getting out of here. Don’t wait up.” And with that she disappeared.

  It took me a moment to find my voice again.

  “I’m putting brandy in my coffee even though it's five past nine in the morning and you will not judge me.”

  Ebony pushed her mug forward. “Let’s do it.”

  I put a tot in each drink and topped them up with a little more water.

  “Cheers.”

  “So what’s up with you this morning?” I asked her.

  Ebony sighed. “My date didn’t show last night. I ate in a packed restaurant on Valentine’s Day all by myself.”

  I reached across for her hand. “Oh Ebony. I’m so sorry. If it's any consolation, we spent all night listening to Mary wailing.”

  “Yes, me too. Three am until five am, when I eventually resorted to cutting up a pair of bed socks and stuffing the material in my ears.”

  “I have vampire hearing.”

  “You win.”

  “Theo has vampire hearing and it’s his mother.”

  “Oh my goodness. Poor Theo. Oh well, at least she can leave the house now, so as long as she stays with this Alistair, the sex noises can take place elsewhere.”

  The sound of a van came up the drive, and I looked out of the kitchen window. “Henry’s here. Theo was telling me all the plans for the B&B last night. I’m actually coming around to the idea now.”

  “Oh, that’s great.”

  “Yeah, and Theo said I could decorate our side of the house however I wanted, so there’ll be plenty of work for Henry. I’m going to ask him if he has any paint samples or charts.”

  “Excellent.”

  “Ebony, you said excellent as if it compared to you being hung, drawn, and quartered. Do you really dislike him that much?”

  We were interrupted by the door opening.

  “In here, Henry.” I shouted. He put his head through the door. “Morning, Shelley.” I noted he made a point to completely leave Ebony out of his greeting. She stared at the table.

  “Morning, Henry. Would you like a drink?”

  “No, I’m fine actually. I’ve brought a flask today and a couple of bottles of water. Just going to crack on.” With that he started up the stairs.

  “Has something else happened?” I folded my arms across my chest as I stared at Ebony.

  She pushed her mug forward again. “This time I’ll take it without the coffee.”

  I refused to give Ebony any more alcohol as my first visitors were due to arrive within the hour.

  She wouldn’t go into detail, just stating she’d seen Henry while out last night and they’d got into an argument. I really needed to do something, but right now it was time to get myself and Charlene ready for her visitors.

  “Are you sure you feel okay enough to be around the visitors?” I asked her.

  “Absolutely.” This time Ebony genuinely smiled. “It’s an absolute honour to be around Charlie.”

  “Hey, you’re calling her Charlie too. Thank you. Everyone else is still calling her Charlene. I like it shortened. It sounds fun. What made you change your mind?”

  “I don’t think Charlie minds whichever she’s called.”

  “Yeah true. It’s not like she understands what’s happening is it? She has so much of the world to learn about.”

  “Er, yeah. You know babies. Taking in everything around them.”

  Darius was the first visitor to the house, coming in an official capacity as Alpha of the Hogsthorpe Pack, rather than my best friend’s husband. It was strange to see him dressed in his ceremonial robes.

  He gave me a hug which engulfed me. He was a rugged beast and had the warmest personality. My friend had done very well for herself. Behind him stood his sister Alyssa. It was only a week ago that I’d watched as she tore out the throats of two rogue weres, yet here she stood looking every inch the stroppy teenager. Appearances could definitely be deceptive. I hugged Alyssa hard, as not only had she done the bravest of things but she’d now reminded me that no matter what my guests of the morning looked like, I wasn’t to trust the ones I didn’t know.

  “Alyssa. I shall allow you to hold the baby first.” Darius’ voice boomed around the living room. He sounded like Thor.

  She pulled a face. “You will allow me? Jesus.” She turned to me. “He talks like this all the time you know now? Bloody alpha. Kim digs it for her own reasons, but all I hear is too much testosterone sloshing around.” She stood up, and I handed her the baby. “Oh my God, you are so cool. There aren’t enough girlies around here. You can be my new bestie.”

  Darius passed me a gift. “This is an official gift from the Hogsthorpe Pack.”

  I unwrapped the gift to find a photo frame. Behind the frame was a large tooth. “That is a fang from the first Alpha of the Hogsthorpe Pack. It is there in order for us to declare that we offer our help to Charlene whenever she shall need it. The fang is to show that we would savage anyone who would wish harm on her or her kingdom. And of course while we wait for her to take over, you know we pledge the same to you as our current Queen.”

  “Thank you, Darius. Charlene is extremely fortunate to have such a loving tribe behind her.” And yes, I was currently ruler of Withernsea and I’d not got a fang. But then again there wasn’t a prophecy about me being the most badass ruler ever either. My daughter was foretold to be quite something. Hard to imagine while she cooed, pulled grimaces, and filled her nappy.

  But I was happy for her to go to reins before reign. I was going to enjoy every bit of having my baby and watching her grow up, even if that did mean I had to entertain half of Withernsea in between.

  Chapter Eleven

  Shelley

  “Damn. Mary’s gone out and I forgot to ask her who else is visi
ting.”

  Ebony looked up at me from her seat on the sofa. She put the fashion magazine she’d been reading down on her knees. “I know she said someone at 1pm and someone at 3pm. She spaced them out.” She wrinkled her nose. “Oh I remember. The Pixies are coming, then it’s someone from the sea.”

  “Oh God. Please tell me I’m not getting another bucket of fish on my head.”

  “You should be safe. It’ll be Charlie they might want to pour sea water on.”

  “They can go whistle.”

  She smirked.

  “So great. Bloody Tristan’s coming first. Charlie, your next visitor is an asshole.”

  I’d first met Tristan, the leader of the Pixies, at a speed dating event. Charming he was not. His ego was larger than his body. Luckily I never got as far as Lucy had. Poor Lucy had suffered an unfortunate sexual encounter with him pre-Frankie where she discovered that although he was well endowed for a Pixie, for her she hadn’t been able to… well, feel it. Anyway, the situation had been smoothed over. I just had to hold my temper, think of being patient, and hopefully he wouldn’t stay long.

  I figured I’d better greet him at the door myself given what Brishon had been like when he’d visited. On swinging the door ajar I discovered that not only was Tristan on my doorstep, but he’d brought six other pixies with him. He was wearing a charcoal grey suit. Tristan was a good-looking guy but unfortunately his personality made him ugly.

  “Hello, Shelley. I am here to visit your daughter.” He was straight and to the point as always.

  “Come in, Tristan, and… your friends too of course.”

  “They are my entourage, not my friends.”

  Here we go. Bite your tongue, Shelley. Even if it bleeds.

  I escorted them through to the living room. Ebony nodded that everything was okay and went off to make Tristan a drink. Apparently his entourage were forbidden from drinking until after he’d finished his own.

  Tristan peered over the side of Charlie’s crib.

  “Robust bones. Shame it’s a girl, but if the prophecy says she’s the one, then she’s the one.”