Leaving Eden

by Kelly A Walker et al.

  I listen intently, loving every scrap of information they lend me. When the doctor enters the room again, my bodiless self clenches in anticipation. Am I dead now? It looks like I’m still breathing. My wrists are fastened to the bed rails with leather cuffs, and I try to remember why. Suicide watch? I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I just wanted to sleep without dreaming.

  “We found an old contact on her file from several years ago. A Blain Wilson?” the doctor says conversationally, looking accusingly at the two men as if they’re attending a married woman and in the wrong room. The name snaps me from my strange, half-conscious state, and I’m slammed back into my body. It feels lethargic and heavy as I try to catch the breath that left me all at once.

  The bedside monitor’s beeping rises rapidly, in time to my increased breaths. “No,” I manage to croak. My throat is dry, and I don’t even know if the word makes it out, but I can feel warmth in both my hands. Two pairs of hands – one soft and one callused. I can’t open my eyes yet. They feel like they’re weighted. The blackness weighs on me. I hate it. I want to go back to where I can see everything.

  “What’s going on?” The soft hands clench mine tighter. It sounds like my professor’s voice, but that’s strange considering I’m in a hospital. My mind is having troubles connecting what I saw in my dream state with the real world.

  “Her blood pressure and pulse have spiked. She’s having a panic attack.” The doctor doesn’t sound at all concerned.

  “You idiot,” a voice growls. This one sounds like my apartment manager, and I almost laugh. It would be my sick mind that would put these two at my bedside right before I die. It’s the ultimate tease, the promise of what I could have if I had the guts to reach for it. “It started when you said that name. She’s hiding from someone in her past, someone who abused her.” How did he know that? The beeping gets more rapid, and I dimly associate it with the pounding of my heart through the thick cloud pressing down on me.

  “I just do what the files say,” the doctor retorts. I want to punch him. Judging from Nash’s growl, he feels the same way. “We’ll have to sedate her again.”

  “No,” I whisper. If I’m under, I can’t get away. He’ll find me. I can’t be helpless when he shows up. He’ll never trap me again, but I don’t want to deal with it. I don’t want to be reminded.

  “She doesn’t want to be sedated,” Reece’s voice says. I wish I could see past the dark cloud. Are they actually here?

  “If she doesn’t calm herself, it doesn’t matter. She’ll have to be sedated.”

  I take it back. I don’t want to punch the doctor. I want to knee him in the balls – hard enough that he’ll hurt for a week. But I force my heartbeat to slow. I force myself to breathe. I imagine Nash and Reece by my side, just as I imagined them in my dream state. I don’t know if they’re actually here, but the thought comforts me.

  “There. She’s calm,” Nash growls.

  The doctor mutters under his breath, and I hear a door slam shut. I hope it hit him in the ass on the way out.

  “Aislynn?” Reece’s voice is near my face now, his hands clasping mine.

  “Wake up, Darling,” Nash drawls. His voice is so similar to the dream.

  I force my eyes open, and my tongue darts out to wet my dry lips. They’re standing over me, twin looks of concern on their very different faces. Nash hands me a cup of water, holding the straw as I sip it. He’s so gentle for such a big man.

  “Am I dreaming?” I manage to ask.

  The men at my bedside share a look. “Not this time,” Nash says.

  My eyebrows draw together. I have a dull ache behind my eyes, my limbs still feel heavy, and my stomach aches like I’ve been puking for days. “I don’t understand. I was dead, I think.”

  “You haven’t died yet,” Reece answers this time. His hair is tousled, the wavy curls standing straight up on his head. Nash’s jaw is shadowed with a day’s worth of stubble.

  “I saw myself…from above…” I start to say and then stop abruptly when Nash leans over and closes his lips on mine. It’s a chaste kiss, but it works to shut me up. Every thought leaves my mind as I stare at him in shock.

  “Not here,” he whispers quietly against my cheek but loud enough for Reece to hear. “They already want to keep you for observation. Best not to talk about dreams and out of body experiences.” His lips are tilted in just the hint of a smile. Although I’m confused, some part of my mind manages to agree with him.

  “Blain,” I croak suddenly, the threat rising to the forefront of my mind. I try to sit up and scramble out of bed, but the leather cuffs are tight around my wrists. I pull at them, but I can barely muster the energy to move, much less break out of my restraints.

  “It will be okay. Nash and I aren’t leaving. He won’t get to you.” Reece’s calm voice settles me, but his eyes ask a question. I know it without asking.

  “I didn’t try to kill myself. It was an accident. I just wanted to sleep without dreaming. I didn’t want to dream about him.”

  “It’s okay, Darling; we’ll protect you.” My gaze travels sleepily from Nash to Reece and back again. The darkness wants to drag me under again. I resist. I need to be awake if Blain shows up. But my dream men continue to reassure me, and I let myself believe for a minute that I can trust them and depend on them. The darkness overwhelms me again. This time, I see nothing.

  HUSHED VOICES RISING in an argument wake me. I drag myself from under the black curtain of sleep and sedation, feeling more aware than the last time I woke. The lights are too bright and I want a drink, but my arms still won’t move.

  “I’m not going to hurt her.” That voice is familiar. I force my eyes open, squinting against the bright white of the hospital room. Now, all three of my dream men are here. Nash is trying to tower over Devon, but they’re matched in height. His hands are fisted at his side, and he looks angry as Nash accuses him. Of course, they wouldn’t know it’s not Blain.

  “Devon,” I croak. Several eyes look towards me at the same time. Reece hands me water this time, and I take a welcome drink. “I need to sit up,” I complain. I feel helpless lying here with my hands tied to the bedrails. Several hands reach for me at once, but Nash edges Devon to the side while he and Reece adjust the bed and the pillows so that I’m sitting more vertically than horizontally.

  There’s hair in my face, and I’m irritated I can’t move it away. When I blow at the offending curl, Nash tucks it behind my ear. Devon is watching both of them with a confused look, but his gaze returns to me.

  “I think the hospital called Blain, Lynnie. He posted that he was coming.”

  I sigh, weariness again seeping through me. “You’re friends with him on Facebook,” I accuse shortly, remembering what I found out yesterday. Today? I don't know.

  “Just for something like this. I’ve felt guilty for years, Aislynn, for not doing anything.”

  I stop him before he continues. “Yeah, you told me all of that in the dream.”

  Devon’s brow crinkles and I notice the butterfly sutures on his right temple for the first time. The area around it is red and swollen. “Dream?” Devon asked. “I had a couple dreams about you, but…”

  Nash glares at Devon. “Not right now. We’ll talk about that later.” Nash always takes control. It doesn’t matter if he’s directing a troop of construction workers or telling the Castro children not to run up and down the stairs in our apartment building. I bet he was highly ranked in the military. I’ll have to ask him. If…

  “What are all of you doing here?” I ask. “What happened to your head?”

  Devon touches the sutures tenderly and winces. “Um, I fell down the stairs.” I frown. Devon was always coordinated, even with his lanky limbs. He could climb a tree and balance on a limb without swaying. When I tried to copy that, I broke my arm. “I came to warn you.”

  “And you two?” I ask Reece and Nash. Nash just smiles and places another brief kiss on my lips. The kiss feels different in real life, more rea
l but just as magical.

  “I’m here because you need me,” Nash responds vaguely. Reece nods.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” I tell my professor. “I don’t want to get you in trouble. Not that I’m going back to school after this.” I’m talking about Blain, but I also realize that maybe I do need help if I can’t remember how many sleeping pills I took. And then, there’s the matter of men standing around my bedside when we’re practically strangers except for in my dreams. “I think I’m crazy.”

  “You’re not crazy,” Reece says, adopting the tone he uses when he lectures his classes. “There are some things that can’t be explained, but it doesn’t mean that you’re crazy. But your doctor is an asshole and an embarrassment to the profession, so let’s not talk about any of that while you’re here. Let’s just concentrate on getting you out of here.”

  I nod slowly, my body reacting more sluggishly than usual. “You’re all really here, right? I’m not imagining you? And I’m not dreaming?” I ask in a quiet voice.

  Reece leans over this time, his warm lips brushing across my forehead. “We’re here, and this isn’t a dream.”

  Nash squeezes my hand while Devon stands back and watches. When I look at him, he offers me a shaky smile. He’s confused, but I can tell he knows he wants to be here – with me.

  “Where is she?” The voice coming from the hallway makes my blood curdle. Every muscle in my body tenses with remembered fear. Devon moves quickly to stand by the head of my bed. Nash and Reece both stand, each of them still holding one of my hands.

  The door opens, and the doctor enters with Blain. He’s changed, but his eyes are still the same - cruel and uncaring. His gaze flickers to the men on either side of me, lingering on Devon, but quickly returns to me.

  “I’ve been trying to find you, Aislynn.”

  I shiver as a sudden chill eases down my spine. “You have no business in my life, Blain. Not anymore.” I try to make my voice as hard as I can. The doctor is checking my IV, but I can tell he’s listening and watching intently.

  “Obviously I do. You tried to kill yourself, and my name is still on your emergency contact list. I think you wanted me to come here.”

  I laugh, the sound hurting my dry throat. “You always were too full of yourself. I didn’t try to kill myself. It was an accident. I was already tired and half out of it when I took the sleeping pills. I think I forgot that I’d already taken some. And you shouldn’t be on my list. I thought I removed your name that time you broke my jaw.”

  I really thought I did. The three men around me tense. Nash is like a barely controlled animal, his hand tightening on mine, but he’s still aware enough not to hurt me. He has full mastery over his body and emotions - so different from the boy in front of me.

  I look at the doctor. “I didn’t try to kill myself. And he’s not supposed to be here. There’s a restraining order on him.”

  That actually gets through to the doctor – that the police could be involved. He glares at Blain. “Is that true?”

  Blain’s face turns red. “I don’t know what that crazy bitch did.”

  As one, the three men around my bedside take a step forward. They don’t do more than that, but I get a sick sense of satisfaction when Blain backs up against the wall, his eyes widening.

  “You should wait outside,” the doctor tells Blain, and he storms out. I know he won’t go far, though. He won’t miss this chance, not after so long.

  “Do you have a restraining order on him?” Devon asks me curiously.

  I nod. “I got one when I left Eden.”

  “All of you should leave,” the doctor tells the three men. “We need to assess Miss Suarez’s suitability for discharge.” He’s frowning at me like he doesn’t think I’m fit to be released and sudden fear spikes through me. I don’t want to stay here. I’m helpless, and I hate it.

  “Actually, that’s what I’m here for.” James Gallus comes through the door, handing his card to the doctor. “I’m the psychiatrist in charge of Miss Suarez’s mental health. She’s been seeing me regularly.” His eyes slide to me as if daring me to challenge him, but I won’t. Reece did this. He called his friend to vouch for me. At least, I hope that’s what he's doing. Reece doesn’t look at me, but he squeezes my hand.

  “We’ll wait outside,” my professor murmurs. The men leave one by one. Nash leaves with a kiss on my temple, Devon offers a shy smile, and Reece squeezes my hand again.

  There are a lot of terms thrown around, and the doctor makes notes in his chart. I answer when asked to, assuring the hospital doctor that I know what day it is, I have full possession of my faculties, and I’m not going to try to hurt myself or anyone else.

  “Fine,” the doctor finally relents. “She can go.”

  A nurse handles my discharge and puts me into a wheelchair. I’m afraid the men have left. They came when I was in trouble, but they’ll go their separate ways now. But when I’m wheeled out into the hallway, the three of them are waiting. Blain is gone.

  I look around curiously. “What happened to him?”

  “The police came for him and arrested him in violation of a restraining order,” Devon answers with a smirk.

  “Take me home?” I ask Nash. He smiles down at me as he starts to push my wheelchair toward the elevator.

  “Gladly.”

  The ride is quiet. Reece doesn’t say anything from the back seat, and Devon follows in his own car. Nash keeps glancing at me, but he doesn’t speak either. I’m grateful because I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on in my head.

  It isn’t until we’re all settled into my dirty apartment that anyone speaks. I don’t even worry about the mess. There are more important things going on here. I’m still exhausted. Nash carried me in like I was a baby, ignoring all my protests, and laid me on my bed. I lean against the wall, acutely aware that I’m copying Nash’s position from my last dream.

  Reece stares at my office chair, his cheeks red, and chooses to lean against the wall. Nash sits next to me, and Devon takes the chair. For a minute, I just look at all of them. “Will someone please explain what the hell is going on?” I finally ask. I feel more like my dream self than I ever have. Getting rid of Blain was kind of anticlimactic, but it still makes me feel more powerful. Most of all, though, I don’t feel alone anymore. I really hope that’s the case.

  Everyone looks at Devon, and he shrugs. “I don’t really know. I had a dream that I talked to you in your old backyard in Eden – twice. The second time, I actually fell down the stairs right before I had the dream, like I fell asleep so fast I couldn’t even control my body.”

  My eyes widen. How?

  Nash clears his throat. “The dreams? The one in the hotel room and the one here? I had them too. We shared those dreams. They weren’t just dreams.”

  My eyes fly to Reece. He nods, still not looking at the office chair where I remember him last.

  I shake my head in confusion. “You’re telling me that you guys had the same dream as me?”

  Nash nods. “And I fell asleep like Devon did – fast and hard like a narcoleptic fit. Thankfully, I was already in bed at the time.”

  “Same here,” Reece says. “One time was on the couch; the other I was in bed.”

  “This is crazy. We shared dreams? I pulled you into them?”

  “Or you just tugged on a connection that was already there, but you were definitely in control of the dreams.” Nash smiles crookedly at me and heat flares through my body, reminding me just how much I was in control.

  “This doesn’t make sense,” I say, shaking my head.

  There’s silence for a moment. “What tattoo do I have that you’ve never seen with my clothes on?” Nash asks suddenly. My eyes immediately dart to his side. I’ve never seen him shirtless so I couldn’t have seen the tattoo on his ribs while I was awake.

  I poke at his side. “You have one right there.” He lifts his shirt, revealing the scrawling Latin script. “I don’t know what it says,” I mur
mur absently. The first word looks familiar, but I can’t put it together.

  “Seize the Night,” Reece answers.

  Nash nods. “It was the motto of our platoon, but it’s come to mean something different to me in the last couple of days.”

  “Um, just what kind of dreams have you both been having with Aislynn?” Devon asks curiously. I told him, and he remembers, but he always did like to start shit. There’s a mischievous glimmer in his dark eyes.

  Reece’s head ducks as redness colors his pale skin again.

  Nash smirks. “Good dreams,” he answers.

  “This is too weird,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m not the same girl I am in the dreams, you know. I’m grateful for all your help, but you can go now.” The words crack in my throat because I don’t want to say them. I just feel like I have to. I still can’t believe or wrap my head around what’s really going on.

  Nash shakes his head. “I’m not going anywhere. That woman – the one in the dreams – that’s you, Aislynn.”

  Reece nods. “I agree. It’s your true self that has been hidden under all the pain you’ve suffered. I can’t be with you until after the semester, but I’m not going anywhere either.”

  “I’m going to withdraw,” I say. I made the decision sometime after I woke up in the hospital. “I have some things to work on, and I should have taken more of a break after my parents died to take care of myself.”

  “Well, in that case…” Reece moves so quickly, I barely have the time to register the movement before he’s falling to his knees on my bed and pressing his lips to mine. I moan in appreciation, my hands rising to grip his shirt in my fists. He feels just as good, even better, than in my dream – that first one where I jumped on him and made him forget he was my professor for a little while. His kiss is consuming and utterly gentle and I don’t even startle when Nash’s hand rests on my lower back as I lean forward to get closer to Reece.