No Regrets

by B. B. Donnelly

  I opened the briefcase and found information on contacts, safe houses and lots of money. I was the sole executor of all my parents’ wealth. My uncle made it clear he needed my money. I was the only thing standing in his way. With my death, he would become an extremely wealthy man. I pack anything that is important to me, photographs of my parents, Jackson, and my team, my father’s watch and my mother’s jewelry, among my toiletries and clothing. I have only one big duffle bag. It is all I can afford to take. My weapons will go in last, along with my disguises.

  Late last night, I snuck down to my parent’s room and sat there for a few hours. I cried my tears for them. I grabbed all the important jewelry pieces that my mother kept in a safe. Very few people knew it was there. There was also approximately twenty thousand dollars in cash. Apparently, my mother’s allowance from my father. I went ahead and laid out the outfits that I wanted my parents to wear. It would be obvious to the maids. I went back and barricaded myself. I knew my uncle was waiting to make his move. My bet is after the funeral.

  I run through the motions of getting ready for the funeral. I put on my expensive black vintage Chanel dress with matching black sling backs and a Chanel clutch. I let my long blond hair hang straight down my back. I grab my dark tinted Chanel glasses and feel satisfied that my outfit conveys my personality. I look elegant and I’m dressed appropriately. I am the perfect socialite. The daggers strapped to my thigh like a garter give me a sense of security.

  I hide my bag in my secret room, next to the safe. I lock the door behind me. I slowly make my way back into the world. As I descend the stairs to the front entrance, my first sight is of Jackson and then my uncle. Jackson looks so handsome in his issued expensive black suit. All agents are issued the same suit and they will all wear them today in honor of my father. At least, I hope considering he is supposed to be a traitor. I hide my anger on that thought. I wear a stoic expression. After today, I will no longer be an agent. I will be a rogue, but they do not know that yet. I only have to play the game for a few more hours and then I will be home free to get revenge against my uncle.

  “Carter, you look beautiful.” Kilson compliments me. I see Jackson giving me a worried look, but I ignore him. I will not speak to him. Betrayal comes in many different forms. Jackson acted like he completely believed that my father was a traitor. Let’s not forget he is engaged to be married. I don’t care if it is for a cover or not. He could have said no to the orders.

  “Thank you, Uncle.” I say, obnoxiously. A look passes between us and I can see that he knows that I know he did it. He pulls me aside.

  “It is such a shame about your parents. Are you doing okay?” He asks politely.

  “I’m fine considering, thank you for asking.” I answer just as polite, and then continue with, “I just can’t wait to bring their killer to justice. Don’t you agree?”

  “Of course, but Carter, there is more to it and I would gladly meet with you after the funeral and we can discuss it.” Kilson says. Jackson motions for us to get going. I turn away from Kilson before I forget where I am and punch him in the face. He grabs my arm and I tense up. I glare at him.

  “That’s not necessary.” I say, trying to control my expression.

  “I’m glad you are doing well, all things considered. I would hate for anything to happen to you.” He states with a threat lanced in his words.

  “Don’t worry, Uncle. I’m aware of the situation. I will bring the bastard to justice.” I say with the same threatening tone. His grip tightens and I look down at his hand on my arm then back up with an eyebrow raise.

  “Just tell me where the briefcase is.” There is no politeness in his voice. There is panic.

  “I guess you will have to kill me to find it because I will never give it over willingly.” I hiss through my teeth. I see Jackson making his way over to us, probably wondering what is taking so long.

  “This isn’t over. You cannot possibly prove anything.” Kilson states, but I can hear the worry. Jackson comes up to us.

  “You guys ready?” Jackson questions.

  “Yes, we are through here.” I say, with an underline meaning for my uncle.

  “Yes, well… let’s get going.” My uncle says, gesturing for me to lead the way. I step in front of them with confidence. You are so going down. I think to myself. In the car, on the way to the funeral home, I sit in the back while Jackson drives and my uncle rides in the front. I can hear the discussion turning to the organization.

  “I have been approached to take over Brenton’s position and while it pains me to do so,” I snort out loud to that, my uncle pauses, “Like I said, while it pains me do so, I have no other choice. It is what your father would have wanted. This organization meant a lot to him and it is my honor to carry on his work.”

  “You have no idea what my father wanted, but I know what you wanted.” I whisper under my breath, but they both heard me.

  “Carter!” Jackson exclaims, reprimanding me.

  “What!” I exclaim back.

  “Cowboy, it is fine. Carter is going through a hard time right now. She isn’t thinking clearly. I think she has it in her head that I’m somehow behind this, which is completely ridiculous. He was my brother. I’m just as devastated.” Sure, you are…., “In fact, I think it would be best if you take a few weeks off from the organization. I think you should go

  on a vacation somewhere on a beach or faraway from here. This is a lot to handle. It would give you time to clear your head,” My uncle says. I see what he is doing. He is setting things up for my disappearance. Cold hearted bastard.

  “Nope, I’m good.” I state lightly. Jackson gives me a worried glance in the visor mirror.

  “No, Carter, I actually think that is a good idea.” Jackson says. I give him a what the hell look. It looks like someone has a new best friend, now that my daddy is gone. Traitor.

  “Whatever.” I say. It doesn’t matter; I will be gone in a few hours anyway.

  Luckily, we have arrived at the church. I step out of the car and there are news cameras everywhere. The security that my uncle brought in surrounds me and my uncle as we make our way inside. Jackson blends into the background, following behind.

  “Carter, how do you feel about your parent’s murder?”

  “Do you know who did it?”

  “Are you worried about your safety?”

  “Mr. Drazen, what measures are being taken to find the murderer of your brother?”

  “Please, let us mourn my brother and sister-in-law in peace. We are going through a difficult time right now. I promise we will answer all questions at a later date.” My uncle says, pushing me towards the church.

  His answer only fueled more questions and they continue to be shot at us like a machine gun. I just keep walking towards the church with no answers. One day there will be an answer.

  Chapter Eleven

  The funeral was harder to get through than I had imagined. I choked back my tears, staring at the two caskets at the front. I had said my goodbyes that night in their bedroom. I was surrounded by my team, Julia on one side and Logan on the other. Max sat beside Logan. I held Julia’s hand the entire time. Jackson sat with Brooklyn in the pew behind me. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. It was almost like he knew I was plotting something from the suspicious glances I would catch. The church was filled with politicians, lawyers, socialites, the elite of the elite. My mother would have been impressed with the turn out. The President sent his condolences to me and regrets that he couldn’t be there. He was overseas at the moment at some peace convention or something.

  My father was a Marine and he received the works for the funeral. The tears flowed when I was handed the American flag by the Marines and again hearing the gun salute. Not once during the funeral did Jackson touch me, except for these two times. I tried to hold back the sobs, but my shaking shoulders must have given me away. I felt his hand on my shoulder and then he rubbed my back. I didn’t acknowledge it, but I couldn’t deny it felt
nice to know he was there for me.

  As I stood and watched the caskets being lowered into the ground at the gravesite, my thoughts returned to my plans. I will avenge you. I thought as I threw my blood red rose onto my mother’s casket. I will take him down. I thought as I threw another onto my fathers. I walked back to the car without a second look. I accepted everyone’s condolences with politeness.

  The reception after the funeral was being held in the same ballroom where my parents were shot down like dogs. I climbed into the car with my team. I didn’t want to ride with my uncle or Jackson again. When we reached my home, I made my excuses to Julia, Logan, and Max.

  “I’m going to head up for just a few minutes. I need some time. I would appreciate it if you could keep everyone here.” I say, trying to be convincing.

  “No problem, babe. Take all the time you need.” Julia says. Logan and Max nod in agreement. I give them all hugs

  “Thank you so much.” I leave it at that. I don’t want them to be suspicious, so I say my silent goodbyes to them as well. I make my way to my bedroom and close the door behind me. The sounds of people downstairs remind me too much of the night of the ball. I quickly set to work. I strip out of my designer dress and exchange it for tight black pants, tight long sleeve black shirt, and black combat boots. I pull my hair back into a sleek bun. Putting on my belt that holds my knives, I hear a knock on the door. Shit.

  “Who is it?” I ask with a depressed voice, hoping it isn’t my uncle.

  “It’s me.” I hear Jackson. Don’t open the door. Don’t open the door. I curse myself as I open the door. I just want to see him one last time. I know it is risky letting him see me setting my plans in motion, but what can I say? He takes in the scene with one glance.

  “Where are you going?” He asks with no surprise. He closes the door behind him. Obviously, he knew I was up to something.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I say, turning back to my mission. I walk into my closet and open the secret door. I pull out my duffle bag, the briefcase, and my katana. Jackson follows me standing in my closet door.

  “Carter, you don’t want to do this.” He says. I glance at him over my shoulder.

  “Of course, I do.” I say, looking back towards the bag. I put the briefcase in it and some more weapons. I pile knives, guns, and ammo into the bag. It is getting full. I pick it up, checking the weight. I can still lift it easily. I clasp on my thigh holster, check the safety of my gun and put it in the holster. I strap on my katana to my back. I glance around, making sure I didn’t miss anything.

  “Your father wouldn’t want this.” He solemnly says.

  “You don’t know what my father would have wanted. He was my father not yours.” I say with passion. I see the hurt on his face. I push past him and place the bag on the bed. I turn to face him.

  “What do you want Jackson?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips.

  “Is this because of Brooklyn and I? Is that why you are leaving?” He asks. I stare at him for a second before laughing.

  “My parents were shot down in front of me and you think this is about you?” I say sarcastically.

  “No, I don’t… I know your upset, but I never had the chance to explain.” He says, sadly.

  “There is nothing to explain. My parents are dead, you are marrying that bitch, and I have to prove that my uncle is behind this.” I say. He looks at me in surprise.

  “Carter, you think your uncle is behind this?” He asks, with a shocked expression.

  “Don’t you?”

  “Carter, he has the proof that your father did those things. I don’t want to believe it either, but why would your uncle kill your father?”

  “Seriously. God, Jackson, open your eyes. You knew my father. How could you even think he would be a traitor? Then look at my uncle. Who is to gain from my father’s death, besides me? My uncle wanted everything my father had. Unbelievable.” I say with disgust.

  “So, say that what you’re telling me is true?” He says humoring me, which only pisses me off more, “Why are you leaving? Don’t you want to stay close to your uncle?”

  “No, I don’t. My uncle is planning my death or disappearance even as we speak.” He shakes his head in denial. Stubborn Ass.

  “Oh, come on!” He throws his hands up.

  “Jackson, my uncle wants my money. I am the sole executor. I am an extremely wealthy heiress at this moment. My uncle needs my money to pay back some very dangerous people. He was the one that sent those missions out. He is in deep shit right now and I’m the only one standing in his way.”

  “How do you know all this?” I can tell he still doesn’t believe me.

  “I overheard my uncle and father arguing the night we came back from the mission. It was before you showed up in my room. My father called him out on everything. Everything that my father is now accused of doing. Kilson threatened him and my father knew something was going to happen. He warned me Jackson, my father knew.” I say choking up on the last part. Jackson pulls me into his arms. I cling to him, struggling to not cry.

  “Maybe it wasn’t what you thought.” He says, his voice muffled in my hair. I jerk away from him. I hate myself for wanting him to believe me. I just want someone on my side.

  “Why can’t you see?” I yell at him. He goes to pull me in, but I jerk out of his grasp. He puts his hands up in surrender.

  “Look, I’m sorry, but it is a little crazy. I think you are just stressed right now and not thinking clearly. You need a break.” He states, but seeing my face continues, “this organization would not take lightly on putting a hit on your father if they didn’t know for sure. I hate it just as much as you do, but if it was me or you, they would do the same to protect this country. This is what we signed up for.” I stare at him in disbelief.

  “This organization! My father made this organization! Don’t even act like I have no clue how it runs.” I’m so mad, I want to scream!!!

  “Then you know just as well as everyone else. You step out of line and you’re gone.” He shouts at me. Then I see the desperation in his face, “Carter, if you leave now, you will be considered a rogue and you know what they do to rogues.” He is scared for me. I know full well what happens when an agent goes off radar. They eliminate the threat.

  “I know.” I state simply, hiding the fear in my eyes.

  “Then don’t go.” When he sees I’m not convinced, he continues, “What do I do when I receive the call?” I hear the dread in his voice.

  “I don’t know, Jackson, you tell me. Will you take me out?” I see the hesitation and that pushes me over the edge. I zip up my bag, pull on my long black leather trench coat to cover my sword and head for the balcony doors.

  “Of course not. I would never hurt the person I love.” I stop at his words. I lower the bag and slowly turn around. His eyes are so sad.

  “Love? The people I love are dead to me and that includes you. You are a little late. You became dead to me when you picked the organization over me.” I watch his eyes fly up to meet mine.

  “What? I never chose them over you. I have done everything to protect you!”

  “Brooklyn? Is she a cover?” I see the guilt come over his face.

  “I’m doing my job. You would do the same.”

  “Would I? I can see dating on pretense, but getting married? And I know you have slept with her. She brags about it all the time.” I can even hear the jealousy in my voice. I

  calm down and say, “Jackson, I can’t live like that. Even if I don’t like her, no one deserves a marriage like my parents.” I turn and pick up the bag. Before I make it two steps, he whirls me around.

  “Carter, this job is all I have. My father believed in it and so do I.”

  “It wasn’t all you had. You had me.” I tell him sadly. He lets out a deep breath; I think finally coming to terms that I’m leaving.

  “Where are you going to go? They will find you.” His beautiful eyes pierce into mine. I take a huge breath.

  “I’
ll be okay. Take care of yourself, Cowboy.” I start to pull away, but he pulls me back in, giving me a searing kiss. I let him deepen it. This is my goodbye.

  When he gently pulls away and places his forehead against mine, he whispers, “I love you.” The words to say back are caught in my throat, never making it past my lips.

  “Jackson, where are you?” I hear Brooklyn coming down the hall. He slowly caresses my cheek as he steps away from me. I look back as I reach the balcony doors. He is watching me, and I take in how handsome he is. The agent issued suit, his hair, his lean body, and his blue eyes. He is beautiful and never can be mine. With a quick glance around the room, I let go of my old life.

  I put the handles of my bag on my back, like a back pack and there is a knock on my bedroom door. Crap, it isn’t locked. We both realize it at the same time as the doorknob turns. I quickly hide on the balcony beside the opened French door. If she steps out here, I’m totally busted.

  “Jackson, what are you doing in here?” I hear the suspicion in her voice.

  “I was looking for Carter, but she must have headed back down.” He says smoothly.

  “Well, good thing, it really is kind of rude for her not to be down there. I mean, all these people are here for her.” Bitch.

  “Give her a break, Brooks, she is going through a hard time right now.” Jackson defends me, but all I can hear is Brooks? She has a nickname? Gross!

  “Oh, I know, poor thing. Well, we better get going; I want to introduce my fiancé to some people.” Gag me.

  “Sure. I’ll be right there.”

  “Okay or you could come with me now.” She whines.

  “I said I’ll be right down.” His voice is steel.

  “Is someone here?” She asks suddenly suspicious. I hear her go into my bathroom, then closet.

  “Where is she? Don’t think I haven’t noticed the looks between you two?” The jealousy in her voice almost makes me laugh.

  “Brooks, stop. Like I’ve told you before there is nothing going on and she isn’t here.” He says, sounding tired. It sounds like this is an ongoing argument. I hear her rushed footsteps coming towards the balcony. I panic, looking around for an escape. Suddenly the footsteps stop and there is silence. I give it a minute and peek around the corner into the open doorway. I wish I hadn’t. Jackson and Brooklyn are kissing. Then he is holding her in a hug with Brooklyn’s back to me. My eyes meet Jacksons. His eyes plead for me to go. He is distracting her so I can escape.