Home Forever

by Cee Bowerman

  “You okay, brother?” Zeke asked Sam.

  “No. How could I be?” Sam asked. “For ten years I was in a rage because she left me without a word, I cursed her name, I wished bad things on her sometimes. I swore I never wanted to see her face. Then, out of the blue she is here and last night I didn’t even want her to talk. I didn’t want to know her reasons because I knew deep down they wouldn’t be enough to make up for all the years.” “Still feel that way?” Zeke mumbled.

  “Hell no. Now I want to break things. Hit things. Fuck things up. Myself mostly because I never thought of how she was hurting. Just me. And she went through hell all alone. I had you guys.” Sam bent even farther down and his grip on the sink was painful.

  “She’s here now, man. All you can do is grab her tight and help her stay. She looks like she has all the shit straight in her head and it must have been a helluva battle inside to make her come back and try and get in again.” Zeke leaned his hip on the vanity, close to his twin. “She’s way fucking strong to have survived whatever happened to give her that hole in her side. But that’s physical. She’s even stronger inside to have survived it.”

  “I can see that, Zeke. But I can’t see that she deserves a piece of shit like me after all she’s gone through. It never once crossed my mind that she was in danger or in pain. I was too focused on me.” Sam’s voice cracked. He was choking back tears.

  “You stop that shit now, man. Right fucking now. Not a goddamn thing you could have done for her and we both know it. Some fucker wanted her dead and was just crazy enough to keep trying. She protected the ones she loved and that includes our baby sister. Forever this girl will get what she wants. From now until forever. She wants you, she’s got you. She wants diamonds, we’ll get her fucking diamonds. She wants the moon, call fucking NASA. She’s it for you and you’re it for her. Was always that way there was just a pause in the middle.” Zeke turned to face the mirror and leaned in, holding his brother’s eyes. “You suck your shit up and hold it down for a bit, brother, because she has more to tell and we’re gonna take it for her.

  The brothers stood in silence for a bit and finally Zeke turned to Sam and lifted his hand to his shoulder. He looked into a face that was exactly like his but reminded him so much of their Dad because of Sam’s beard. He saw the confusion in Sam’s eyes and wanted so badly to help him. He pulled him in and wrapped his arms around him.

  “You got your girl back, man.” Zeke muttered.

  “I did. I do. Let’s go finish this shit so we can take a ride and leave it out there to blow away.” Sam pulled back after he pounded his hand on his brother’s back. “We’ll search high and low and find one like her for you.”

  “I walked past her in the kitchen. She didn’t say a fucking word to me. Is it too early to give her a glass of wine?” Sam laughed at Zeke’s question.

  The brothers turned and walked from the bathroom into the living room.

  “Is the cat in here somewhere, I wanna see it.” Zeke tilted his head to look around the couch. “Is it hiding, you think, your screams scare it away?”

  “There is nowhere in this room that is big enough to hide it. It’s not a cat it’s a wild fucking animal and it will eat you. I’m not shitting.” Sam’s eyebrows went together and he leaned in so Zeke could see how serious he was. “It dropped that bird and I thought Oh shit! I’m next!”

  Zeke laughed all the way to the backdoor. As he opened it he turned back to his brother with one parting shot.

  “Pussy.”

  ~*~

  I leaned up so Sam could settle in behind me on the lounge chair. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me back into his arms, wrapping them over my chest. I reached up and put both hands on his forearms.

  “Everything okay?” I whispered as I turned my face up to his.

  “You’re here in my arms so everything is perfect, baby.” he kissed me on my nose. “Y’all done talking?”

  “I guess. There’s really not much more to say.” I shrugged.

  “Get it out. Then you shower, Zeke can take us to my bike and I will take you anywhere your heart desires.” he squeezed me a little and I grunted.

  “So,” I spoke a little louder to the rest of his family on the porch, “What else do you want to know?” “Where did you go when you left? When did he catch you? How did it happen?” Kari asked.

  “I left here and met my Uncle and his girlfriend at our designated spot. We waited until our handler could get to us and give us information and different names. It took a couple of days. We holed up in a shitty motel and ate power bars. Sheila was freaking because she had never run before. Joe handled her and I just laid in the bed and cried, wondering if all of you were okay and worried about how much you would hate me when you figured out I was gone.” I took a deep breath.

  “We got our new info and went to Seattle for a while. Beautiful place. After a while we went down to California. Still beautiful, not as calm as Seattle. We had to run a few more times, but our stays in between were getting longer. We got comfortable. Lazy. He found us.” I grimaced. “Sheila was feeling the pressure. She was leaving bread crumbs without knowing it. Put the wrong name on a form at the hospital, mentioned specific places in specific towns. Stuff like that.”

  “Carlie isn’t your real name then?” Zeke asked.

  “Legally, it is my name now. I had a lot of different ones through the years and mostly they were a version of Carlie. You change it up but keep it close so it’s easy to slide into it if you slip up. Sheila’s name changed to Shelly and Sherry and even Shayna once. That was the screw up. She was stressed and excited and forgot the Shayna and just listed her whole name for anyone to see. It dinged in their system because she didn’t have health insurance, so it went through some database automatically somehow. That’s how the feds think he got us. He had someone watching for specific things, our names were flagged somehow. Since she left with us she was on his radar.” I looked to Joe’s apartment, thinking of all he had lost. “She took a pregnancy test and wanted a sonogram to see how far along she was. It was a boy. She was five months along then.”

  “Oh, no.” Carrie whispered. “Oh, shit.”

  “We had no idea he was even close to us. We were in some shitty apartment, on the third floor which was a huge no no. But it wasn’t going to last long. Joe and I had argued about it, but I won. We had talked to our handler and they were going to separate me from Joe and Sheila, let me go on my own so they could settle and raise their baby. But it was too late. That night, after we had talked to our guy, Sinclair kicked in our apartment door. He shot Joe first, in the leg. He turned to us, but Sheila and I were already running down the hall. We had a plan. Get to the balcony and hop over the rail to the empty apartment next to ours and hide. He shot Sheila and she dropped. It went through her back and straight into her heart. He turned the gun to me and got me in the leg twice and then once in my side. While he was turned shooting at me, Uncle Joe shot him six times in the back and he was dead when he hit the ground. When I fell next to Sheila, right before I passed out I reached for her but I could tell she was already dead. This is where we get to the parts I don’t remember.”

  “Oh sweetheart. Oh my god.” Sam whispered into my neck.

  “She was going to have a baby. Joe’s baby. He was over the moon. In less than five minutes he lost his whole world. He couldn’t move, his femur was shattered. He tried to crawl to Sheila but he passed out because the bone nicked an artery. He was bleeding to death fast. Lisa rushed in and tied his leg up before she came to me. Joe almost died then. He wants to die now. I worry every day that he will try and join her and their baby. He gave up his whole life for me.” I looked from Joe’s apartment over to Lisa’s. She was looking at us out her kitchen window, so I waved. “With him dead there was no reason to hide anymore. They had enough to convict him, but they weren’t ever able to find him so that I could testify. He got to us first and that was the end of it. Sheila was gone, Joe wanted to be. I was out for weeks
after surgery and when I woke up our whole lives were different.” “So Lisa took care of you until the ambulance got there?” Zeke asked.

  “Took care of us? No, she fucking saved us. She jumped from her balcony to ours as soon as the shooting stopped. Three stories up. She used the ashtray I left on our balcony to break the patio glass and then she came in to us covered in glass, barefoot and bleeding. She found the phone, called 911, took care of Joe as best as she could and then she came to me. When the authorities got there, she told them she lived in our house with us and they took her with me in the ambulance. The cops didn’t believe her because of the patio but they saw that she was frantic so they let her go. The nurses said it was the next day before anyone even thought to look at the glass in her feet. The nurse told me she never said a word. They felt sorry for her, she seemed so lost and jumpy to them. They cleaned her up, gave her some scrubs and let her sleep in Joe’s room since I was in ICU.” I could see Lisa coming down her stairs. I noticed Zeke was looking her way too, watching her walk to us.

  “Lisa has her own story that’s not mine to tell. Just gonna say, if she didn’t have me she might have been in your stable if she had even lived that long.” I looked at Kari and saw she knew what I was not saying. A glance at Zeke let me know how he felt about that issue. “Without her I would not be back here, where I belong, in your arms, Sam. I would be dead, and you would have never known it.”

  12.

  We all piled into the house when Lisa got to the porch. She had left her kittens at home and was ready to start lunch.

  Kari and Jace said their goodbyes and promised to come back soon. Before they left, Jace pulled me in for a hug held me tight with his mouth on my head. Still holding me close he leaned his head back and looked into my eyes.

  “Glad you’re back, sister. So glad.” He dropped another kiss on my forehead and let me go, calling out his goodbyes to his brothers on his way to the door.

  “Carlie.” I turned to see Kari close to me. “Can I hug you?”

  I put my arms up and she came into them. Still such a tiny thing, but full of piss and vinegar when she was riled, I felt how delicate her body was as I hugged her.

  “I missed you,” she whispered. “But not as much as he did. You’ve got him back to us now, keep him there?” I could hear the tears in her voice.

  “I’ll never let him go. None of you. I’ll never let you go again.” I squeezed her a little more than necessary before I pulled back.

  She walked off without looking at me again. As she walked through the living room she called out to Zeke who was on the couch, “Protect big brother from the widdle puddy cat.”

  I saw Sam flip her the bird from the other chair as she turned from the door to smile at him.

  “You’re never gonna live the cat fiasco down, bro.” Zeke said.

  “It’s not a damn cat, man. I swear to God.” Sam growled.

  I moved over beside Lisa and saw that she was putting eggs to boil on the stove. The canned chicken was on the cabinet, so I moved to open it to let it drain in the sink. She and I worked together, in sync from a long time of practice. I heard the music come on and Sam and Zeke talking as one of them shuffled through my playlists.

  “You feel better? They okay?” she asked quietly.

  I leaned towards her. She stopped and looked at my face.

  “Actually, I do feel better. At first there was anger, mostly from Kari, but that’s understandable. I broke her big brothers’ heart. Until I did that she thought none of them were anything but solid. Seems like she has seen some shit. Maybe she would be a good friend to you, someone who might know where you’ve been?” Lisa’s eyes held mine. I knew she would only share her details if she had to, that only being with the shrink I had to almost force her to see. “Maybe someone who has been there would understand more than me. I think Kari helps women who were in your situation. The guys have referred to her ‘girls’ more than once. She said she helps women who need to get away from bad people.”

  “She didn’t help me. No one did. You tried though.” Lisa looked back to the onion she was getting ready to chop and whispered. “Zeke stares at me. Not like a bad stare, but I can feel it.”

  I glanced to the living room to see that she was right. Both of the Duke brothers were on the couch, silent, with their heads turned our way.

  “You are an unknown to him. You don’t react the way women usually do and that makes you mysterious. He’s harmless. One of the good guys.” I whispered back to her.

  “No one is harmless they just haven’t had the opportunity. There are no good guys, sweetheart. Maybe your Sam, but that’s all.” Her voice was still quiet. She turned to go to the sink to rinse the knife.

  “Zeke is Sam’s identical twin, sweet girl. God made two of them just alike.” and with that I left Lisa in the kitchen to go and find my cat.

  I walked to the spare bedroom and got down on my hands and knees to look under the bed.

  “Oh, that’s one of my favorites, honey, remember?” I heard Sam say from the bedroom door.

  I pushed my upper body straight up and leaned back on my feet. I decided two could play this game.

  “I’ve changed a lot since I was with you last, honey. I do yoga every day. Helps limber me up. But if all you want to imagine is hands and knees from me, then by all means waste your imagination.” I gave him a soft smile as I watched the light in his eyes get brighter. “You ready for lunch?”

  He walked all the way into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He stalked the few feet towards me, but I stayed on the floor watching his body move with his natural strut. I always loved the way Sam walked, either coming or going. Both were great on the eyes. He stopped right in front of me and I tipped my head back to look up at his face. He leaned down, put his hands under my arms and lifted me up in front of him. Good Lord this man is glorious, I thought. My feet left the ground and I had no other option but to wrap my arms around his neck. Once I had a firm hold, I felt his arms go down my sides and grasp my ass, a cheek in each hand. I wrapped my legs around him.

  We were nose to nose. Neither one of us moved for a second.

  “Oh, I’m hungry, Carles. I’m definitely hungry.” Then Sam tilted his head and caught my lips with his. He was slow and methodical, and it just wasn’t enough. I used my hands in his hair to hold him while I deepened the kiss. Our tongues played back and forth together softly, and I leaned back just a bit so I could start nibbling on his lips with mine. I kissed his jaw and his head bent down to my neck. He ran his tongue around the shell of my ear and then down my neck. He nibbled and sucked my neck down to my shoulder then he groaned and bit me. No too softly, just enough a mark and make his intentions clear before he growled, “Starving.”

  Full. Body. Melt. My happy place was giddy. My neck throbbed just a little where he left his bite mark. His hands holding me up squeezed my ass cheeks and pulled me even closer to him.

  “As much as I want you to take two steps and break in this brand-new bed, we got people in the other room and I am not a quiet girl. And, we need time. We’ve got lots of time to make up for and that means once I get you in my bed I am gonna have to keep you there for a while. Also, I want to shower before I do that. And I have to go to the bank today to get stuff sorted before I am a homeless beggar. You have a shop to run and I can’t keep you from that. So as much as I love this,” and I rotated my hips to grind myself on his zipper, “we have to stop.”

  “Jesus, could you say anything hotter than that?” Sam groaned against my lips.

  “Yeah. Probably. Try this. I have a lot of time to make up for because there has never been a man at my side, in my bed or inside me other than you, Sam Sam. You know you were my first. And since then there’s never been anyone but you. I waited all these years for this. A few hours longer won’t kill us.” With that bombshell I straightened my legs from around his waist and slid down his body. His arms went slack at his sides and the look on his face was a mixture of lust
and surprise. I patted his chest with my hand and gave him a wink as I walked around him and opened the door.

  I got just a few steps into the living room before I heard Sam roar, “Woman! Do not leave me with that!” Zeke and Lisa, at the kitchen island side by side, both snapped their heads up and looked at me. I kept walking to the kitchen with a soft smile on my face.

  “He’s gonna be a minute in there before we eat. Gotta, well, calm down just a bit.” Zeke snorted and Lisa giggled. “The boy is all worked up over something.”

  I sat my happy self on the bar stool at the island, opposite Sam’s smiling brother and reached for a chip from the open bag.

  “Oh shit, this is going to be fun.” Zeke smiled.

  “You have no idea.” I tossed the chip in my mouth.

  A minute later Sam moved out of the bedroom. When I looked over my shoulder I noticed that his hair was messed all around his face and I could tell he had been running his hands through it.

  “Everything go down okay in there, brother?” Zeke deadpanned.

  “Fuck you, man. Let’s eat. Have a list of shit to do today with my girl so we can get back home. And I just have to throw this out there in case ya’ll are both a little slow, neither of you or anyone else is welcome for dinner this evening. Or breakfast tomorrow. Maybe not even lunch or dinner tomorrow. We’ll call you, don’t call us. How ‘bout that?” Sam’s voice was low and serious. He sat down next to me and put his hand at the back of my neck to pull me to him. He gave me a hard kiss on the lips and then pushed me back to sit upright. He reached out and snagged a chip from the bag.

  “Ss-sir. I mean, Sam. I have one thing, I’m ss-sorry but I have to, well I mean...” Lisa was so quiet I could barely hear her, and she only stuttered when she was terrified. I started to move my hand to hers but Sam beat me to it. He laid his big hand, that I knew was rough from hard work and hard living, over hers gently.