Going, Going, Goner (Double Play Series Book 2)

by Nicole Rodrigues

  “What's goin’ on?” I ask suspiciously.

  “Nothin’,” she says too quickly.

  “Lace, come on. You can tell me,” I say, walking over to her and putting my hand on her shoulder.

  She looks at the ground and exhales.

  “I really like you Savannah,” she says, disappointment lacing her words

  “Well gee, I would say that's great news, but you don't sound too happy about it,” I laugh.

  “We haven't had a woman around in, well, ever,” she says, finally making eye contact with me.

  “What about Linda?”

  “Well yeah, I mean a woman young enough to be…” she clamps her mouth shut and I see where this is going.

  “Hey,” I say, tipping her chin up. “I'm here for you always, okay? Anything you need. I consider you family, Lace. Don't forget that, no matter what. Okay?”

  She nods, smiling and hugs me tight.

  “Thank you. Thanks for the job too. I...I really like it there. Dad and I were talkin’ a little the other day and I think I might want to go to college for that, sports management I mean.”

  “Well that makes me super dang happy. I’m glad I could help. You’re a whiz around the office. You got your official internship when you need it.”

  “Really? Oh my God, that would be amazin’! Workin’ for Double Play Sports would be crazy!”

  I laugh at her excitement.

  “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. Enjoy your young days while ya can.”

  “Can you teach me to drive? Dad and I got my permit when I turned sixteen, but I start drivers ed soon and I don't wanna be the only one that never drove before,” she asks enthusiastically.

  I'm caught off guard and stutter before answering.

  “Doesn’t...don’t...ain't your dad teachin’ ya?”

  “He’s always so busy with baseball and I heard him talkin’ to Linda that he’s scared of me behind the wheel of a car.”

  I laugh and put my hand on her shoulder.

  “I’ll talk to your dad.”

  She nods her head and smiles, hugging me again. No matter Jackson’s reaction tomorrow, I'm not giving up on him or Lacey. I love them too much to let them go. Love. I love Jackson Turner. Well shit.

  Chapter 14

  Jackson

  I see her on the floor, lifeless, and I try to run towards her. Something is holding me back, a glass wall that separates us. I hear crying and look frantically around to try and find the source.

  “Daddy,” I hear the voice say.

  “Lacey?”

  I run in the direction of the voice, leaving Kat's body on the floor.

  “Daddy, she's dead. They're both dead.”

  I'm panting and running to get to my baby girl, but my vision goes black. I'm surrounded by darkness. What is happening?

  “Jackson!”

  I hear my name being called, trying to pull me to the light but I can't find it.

  “I'm here, please. I need to get to Lacey. Where's Lacey?” I ask the voice.

  “She's fine. Jackson, come back,” says the voice again.

  “I can't. I need to get Lacey. Lacey!” I yell.

  “Daddy, she killed her.”

  I look down and see Savannah laying in a pool of blood.

  “No! No, Savannah, princess no!”

  I feel hands on me, shaking my shoulders.

  “Jackson, Jackson wake up!”

  I jump with a fright and open my eyes and meet Savannah's wide-eyed expression.

  “You were havin’ a nightmare, it's okay,” she says, running her hands down my chest.

  Her touch grounds me and I grab her hand, squeezing it. I focus on the feel of her skin against mine, her warm skin proving she's here with me and alive.

  “I'm sorry,” I say roughly.

  “Don't apologize. You wanna talk about it?” she asks, moving closer to me across the rug.

  I sit up to lean against the back of the couch and she cuddles up to me, laying her head on my chest, lazily draping her arm over my torso.

  We fell asleep on my living room floor last night after making love by the fireplace. I have yet to have this woman in a fucking bed, but the fact that I can have her at all is all that matters. My nightmare turns my blood cold. She's here Jackson, she's right here.

  “I uh...I've been havin’ dreams of Kat overdosin’. I...I can't shake them lately, and you were in that one. I...” I trail off resting my head on the top of hers.

  “You don't have to go on. It was just a dream, I’m right here,” she says cupping my cheek.

  I nod and we’re silent for a long time until she speaks.

  “When's the last time you heard from her?”

  “The tabloid fiasco. She took the cash and haven't seen or heard from her since.”

  “Does Lacey ask about her?”

  “No. Wants nothin’ to do with her.”

  “Sounds a lot like someone else I know,” Savannah says softly.

  “Who?”

  “Devin. Hated my brother's guts when he finally found out about him and met him. Took them awhile to find some type of middle ground. They have a great relationship now, but Gabriel had no idea about them. Lacey's mom is obviously fully aware she's got a daughter out there and still left. That's a lot different and I don't blame her at all for not wanting to know about her.”

  “I don't either. If she doesn't wanna know Kat, I'm okay with that. I just...I feel like she needs closure. She's been so different since she started workin’ with you, but I can tell she's still holdin’ back from something….I don't know.”

  “I get it. That's only natural. I have a hard time dealin’ with the unknown too.”

  “Oh yeah? Wanna elaborate?” I ask, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, looking down at her.

  “Don't change the subject,” she says, slapping my chest.

  “I'm not. I just want you to be the one to talk to me now. What's goin’ on?”

  She huffs out a breath and sits up next to me, leaning against the couch too. She pulls the blanket up over her naked breasts and I try and keep my gaze on her face. Serious time Jackson, they'll be plenty of that later.

  “I uh...have somethin’ that I kinda need to tell you, a couple of things actually,” she says slowly, looking up to gauge my reaction.

  “Okay, I’m listenin’.”

  “I um...well I guess the first is that I'm seein’ someone about treatments,” she says quickly.

  “Treatments? What kind?” I ask confused.

  She takes another deep breath and closes her eyes before continuing.

  “I wanna have a baby, Jackson.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but my tongue gets tangled up and nothing comes out. It feels heavy and I can't move it and I feel sick.

  “So, the treatments…”

  “Help with it, obviously, since I...you know...can’t.”

  She clears her throat before she continues.

  “There's a bunch of different options; hormones and IVF and even an operation if those don't work. I...I know it's a lot to handle, but I wanna be a mother, Jackson. I really, really do.”

  Her eyes beg me to understand and she studies my face. I see her own expression drop and I know I'm failing. I quickly school my face and grab her hand.

  “It's a little fast, I mean...can we wait a little while on it?”

  “I...I'm 37 years old, Jackson. I mean, what if I wait another year and we don't work out? I have waited a long time for a baby. I wasn't really askin’ your permission on this. It's somethin’ that I've thought about and researched and somethin’ I'm gonna do, regardless. I just wanted you to know. If it makes or breaks this then...I don't know,” she says shaking her head.

  “Wait, you wouldn't...don’t you need my sperm?”

  “I'm not sure yet. I guess I still have a lot to think through. I planned to use a donor, but now, with us. I mean, if we don't work out, then we're stuck together for life. If I just use a donor then...well, we don't
have any ties to each other.”

  “I don't like how you keep sayin’ if this don't work out, ” I say, my anger starting to rise.

  “It's new Jackson, we don't know what the future holds. People change.”

  Her voice wavers and she looks down at the bed, a tear escaping and landing on the sheet.

  “I'm not your ex-husband, Savannah,” I say softly tipping her chin to look at me.

  “I know,” she whispers.

  She closes her eyes and I pull her to me for a hug.

  “And I’m not Kat.”

  She wraps her arms around me and lays her head on my chest.

  “I know.”

  Her eyes coat my chest with their sadness and I run my hand through her hair to calm her. Her words are scrambling around inside my head. She's doing this with or without me.

  The thought of Savannah pregnant with another man's baby boils my blood. Granted it's not the old-fashioned way, but it still bothers me. Can I honestly be a dad again, though? People do change, and I know Savannah would never abandon a child like Kat did. Would she abandon me though? It's a big decision to make, but knowing how badly she wants to be a mother, it would be selfish of me to hold her back. My heart is torn in two and I have no idea what the hell to do.

  ***

  I make my way over to the Second Chances Orphanage and sign in at the front desk, giving the receptionist my license. She asks who I'm here to see and smiles when I say Tucker.

  “He's popular today,” she says smiling.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Well this is Ms. Gavinwood’s everyday routine, although she mixes up the times here and there. Haven't ever seen you here though. How do ya know Tuck?”

  “Coached him a month or so back. Ran a camp over in Arnaudville.”

  “Ah that's you, huh? Tuck hasn't stopped talkin’ about that for weeks! Go on in. My guess is they're probably in the game room.”

  I walk through the double doors when she buzzes me inside and I immediately feel depressed. There are so many kids here. Slumped on couches, sitting at tables, walking around aimlessly with nothing except this place. No family, no home, just this, like me.

  I shake my head out of the fog and walk towards the game room sign up on the wall. I hear laughter and stop outside the door listening. The sound immediately brightens my mood. Her laughter is a serious high that I can't get from anything else in my life.

  “You little cheater, that was goin’ in!” Savannah exclaims

  “Was not! My sleeve got in the way, I didn't do it on purpose!” Tucker says back.

  “Likely story, buddy. That's it, no more goin’ easy on ya!”

  I hear Tucker laugh and a loud pop and cheers erupt. I poke my head in the door and see Savannah chasing Tucker around the room.

  “Get over here you little cheat.”

  Tuckers belly laugh when Savannah finally catches up to him is contagious. I laugh out loud and they both turn to face me.

  “Jackson?” Savannah says squinting through her glasses.

  “Jackson!” Tucker yells running towards me.

  “Hey buddy, how are ya today?”

  “I'm good! How are you? How did you get here? Are we gonna go play baseball again? Did you bring Lacey?”

  “Ah sorry bud, just me. But we can have a catch If ya want to, brought my glove. There's a place we can play here, right?”

  “Yeah sure, in the courtyard!”

  “Why don't ya go get your glove and I'll wait for ya,” I say roughing up his moppy, brown hair.

  “Sure thing!”

  He runs out the door and I smile, glancing over at Savannah.

  “I brought Lacey with me when you were away last week. He hasn’t stopped talkin’about her. What are you doin’ here?”

  “Came to see Tuck,” I shrug.

  “Really Jackson, what are ya doin’ here?”

  “I uh...just wanted to pay him a visit. I remember bein’ in a place like this. Doin’ the same thing, day in and day out, just bein’ in a buildin’ like this with no one but the kids. I couldn’t get him out of my head lately.”

  Savannah walks over to me and cups my cheek.

  “You’re an amazin’ guy, Jackson Turner. Tuck is uh...we should talk about him. There’s some things you need to know.”

  I nod and put my hand over hers on my cheek.

  “I’ve also been thinkin’ about what ya said and I guess I also came to see if I remember.”

  “Remember what?” she asks taking her hand off my cheek.

  “How to be a dad.”

  “You are a dad? I don't understand?”

  “Lacey is grown, and I had Linda to help. I'm close to retirin’ so I'll be home all the time and I don't know how to do this, Savannah. How to really be a dad I'm-”

  “Ready!” Tucker interrupts.

  We both snap our heads to Tucker and smile.

  “Come here and give me a hug buddy. I'll let you and Jackson have a catch,” Savannah says kneeling down with her arms wide.

  Tucker runs to her, wrapping her in a hug that I know is threatening to block an airway, but she doesn't bat an eye.

  “See ya tomorrow?” Tucker asks her.

  “Always bud,” she says poking his nose.

  He turns towards me and reaches for my hand. I'm stunned in place until I feel a soft hand press on my back, pushing me forward.

  “We'll talk later,” Savannah whispers.

  I nod as Tucker leads me towards a door to the outside courtyard.

  The fresh air snaps me out of my fog and I grab the ball from my glove tossing it to Tucker. He catches it naturally and throws it back.

  “Hold on bud, let me tie your shoe.”

  I bend down and notice his brand new looking sneakers that he had on at the camp.

  “I really like your kicks, dude.”

  “Can I tell you a secret? Promise you won’t tell?” Tucker whispers.

  “Sure, I won’t tell.”

  “Savannah bought them for me. She tries to buy me stuff all the time, clothes and things, but they yell at her. She snuck these in though, I’m not supposed to say.”

  “She did, huh?”

  “Shh.”

  I nod and motion for him to jog a couple steps back, throwing the ball back to him.

  “So, how's it been since camp finished? Been practicin’?”

  “Every day!”

  “Good boy!”

  We throw the ball back and forth in silence and I can tell there is something on Tucker's mind. He scrunches his nose in this adorable little way and I take the couple of steps over to him, kneeling down.

  “What's up bud? You have somethin’ on your mind?”

  “Are you gonna try and be my dad?” he asks quietly.

  His words throw me off guard and I almost lose my balance.

  “What uh...what do ya mean?”

  “Well, Savannah is tryin’ to be my mama, but it’s takin’ too long and they might not let her because we don't have a dad. They said we really need a dad to be a family. So, are you gonna try and be my dad so that Savannah can keep me?”

  I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. Fuck. I had no idea about any of this and the look on Tucker's face is like a fastball straight at my head. I remember the eight-year-old me and how many days I waited for someone to come in and take me away. Someone to tell me they wanted me, they loved me, I was worth it. His hopeful expression is fucking killing me. He deserves someone to say those things to him, someone to do those things for him. I turned out okay, but not all of them do.

  “I uh...I don't know bud.”

  His face drops and he plays with the string of his glove. I have to say something to ease his mind, something to make him know that no matter what happens, it will all be okay.

  “But what I do know is that on all my free days I'm gonna be right here playin’ ball with you.” I say putting my hand on his shoulder.

  “Really?” he asks looking up at me

  “Of course. Yo
u're gonna be a big major leaguer one day! I gotta get in some throws while I can before you become all famous and forget me!”