The Wildest Woods

by S. K Munt

  ‘It’s for a Shep to decide what she is, and is not guilty of,’ Ora had said woodenly, ‘not you, and not I. She deserves a fair hearing, Karol, just like every other suspect of a crime does, and if you try charging her for these crimes without giving her the chance to make accusations against your brothers in return, then know that that the President of Rabia and his daughter- your friend- will sever the alliance between our countries as quickly as you have reached for the knife to cut out your own heart with.’

  That had rocked me. Not just the thought of Rabia turning against us, but of my friend, Ora, turning against me. ‘You can’t-’

  ‘Actually, we can. We’re a republic now, Karol. You do not gift us anything that we don’t pay for, and we do not answer to you, remember? My father and I have supported the sovereign up until now, and have turned a blind-eye to some of the ridiculous, antiquated customs that you all seem convinced that you still need… but we will not support a blatant disregard for justice, and neither would our people! She gets a trial, or you lose a powerful ally and a lot of trade routes! Take your pick!’

  Obviously, I’d quickly agreed to give Larkin a fair trial, and Ora had believed me and had even hugged me, telling me that her father would be pleased to hear that, but I’d been lying of course, or at least, I’d been aware of the fact that I might be lying, because if Larkin was apprehended and given a fair trial, she would then have the chance to spill secrets about my mother’s genetics, and if she was telling the truth, then that would be the end of the Barachiel’s reign. I could not allow that to happen- I could not allow one evil Nephilim, like my mother, to blacken almost seven century’s worth of my family’s sacrifices for the good of mankind simply because she had found a way to slither under the radar and into my father’s bed. Maybe it wasn’t fair, but it was still stamping out the evil influences of the world so it was just.

  Yes, regardless of what Larkin had done or why she had done it, there was a good chance that she and my mother would both have to be executed quickly and quietly and without the republic of Rabia ever learning about it anyway, and although it sickened me to admit that I was willing to do that- even to myself- I knew that as the leader of the free world, it had to be done. Lying about my motives was surely proof that my mother was dark and that I had inherited some of it, but if I could do right by my people after, wouldn’t I make up for it in time?

  ‘Karol?’ Amelia-Rose’s voice penetrated my thoughts again, drawing me out of my despair and into my despised reality. ‘I’m right, aren’t I? You and Ora are at odds with one another right now, aren’t you?’

  ‘No.’ I sighed, shaking off all thoughts of Larkin like I could shake off my own shadow. ‘I have called off any plans I had to get engaged, but Ora and I have agreed to disagree on certain issues and have reconciled following our quarrel. So despite the fact that we have both concluded that there are more important things for me to worry about right now than my personal relationships, I know that she will be to me what I truly need right now: a good friend.’

  Amelia’s brows drew together. ‘So you ended amicably, then?’

  ‘Our brief courtship was too frail to have required an official ending, Miss Choir. Like a shooting star, the tail of it was as sweet and swift as the beginning and without distinction.’ I moved to walk by her. ‘And that is how courtships should be, isn’t it- fleeting? Until they knock your world off its orbit permanently?’

  ‘So she did not, um, knock you off your orbit?’ Amelia-Rose asked from behind me and I cringed, safe in the knowledge that she could not see it. Was she really trying to sniff out her chances with me before my father’s body was even cold? It was a low move, even for her- and especially considering that her father had all but begged me to allow her to stay on in Eden with him as an apprentice shepherd not two hours beforehand! ‘Is that what the problem was?’

  ‘No…’ I said smoothly as I sauntered away, ‘I’m saying that I would not allow her to, and that she is considerate enough to know not to try while I am already under so much pressure.’ Scare her off now Karol, and quick, before her hopes become a plot in that deluded head of hers! I’m off marriage enough as it is, without contemplating taking this misguided martyr to bed as my wife!

  ‘She’s a fool, then,’ Amelia-Rose said softly before I could take another step, and I twisted back to gape at her, not bothering to hide my surprise.

  ‘I’m sorry; what was that you said?’

  ‘If a girl knows that she has even the slightest chance of knocking a handsome prince off his orbit…’ Amelia-Rose began to sashay towards me and all at once I realised that her hopes had already become a plot, and that that plot involved her uncharacteristically low neckline and a bullshit desire to be seen as a shepherd when she was really just a viper. ‘She should take it,’ she paused, staring up at me with a salacious smile, ‘and she should not stop until she has succeeded.’

  I looked down at her, hoisting one brow and not bothering to hide my amusement. ‘That’s a very forward sentiment for such a reserved girl to admit to having. I imagine it’s not one you’d dare to express in front of your father though, yes?’

  ‘Who said that I was reserved?’ Amelia-Rose asked, eyes glinting wickedly as she toyed with her long, burgundy hair. ‘I have strong morals, rock-solid faith in our lord and the desire to help people that are less fortunate than I… but that does not make me a meek kitten when it comes to matters of the heart, your highness.’

  ‘Is that so?’ I asked, floundering for anything more articulate to say while so taken aback. ‘Well, I suppose I’ve never given much thought to you as far as matters of the heart go-’ her eyes flashed at the thinly veiled rebuff but I sugar-coated it quickly by adding: ‘I mean, you always seem so focused on accomplishing actual goals that I didn’t figure you had much time to ponder shooting stars, you know?’

  ‘Well, you’re going to have to start looking closer, aren’t you?’ Amelia-Rose practically purred, regaining her composure- and channelling some of Emmerly’s too. ‘It’s true that I do not flaunt my sexuality like other girls do, or waste my time trying to make a match for myself when there are more urgent matters requiring my attention at hand...but that does not mean that I am devoid of passion- only that I am waiting to find the perfect man to explore all of my passions with.’

  My breath caught in my throat, almost choking me again. Was she drunk? I’d had to bear her flirtations before in the past, but they’d been weak and uninspired and nowhere near as blatant as this! It did nothing to increase my desire for her because she was still the most sexless girl that I had ever met (okay, possibly tied with that horrid Kelia brat, whom I also had to plan a burial for yet), but Amelia-Rose was drawing my attention to the fact that I hadn’t had sex in weeks and that I would probably feel a lot better if I took someone to bed that night.

  Anyone but her.

  I patted her shoulder. ‘Well then, I’m glad to know that, for it proves that you’re even more well-rounded than people already believe that you are. And on a personal note… I have noticed that you and Kohl have been spending a lot of time together this week, so I’m cheered to know that you’ve already met at least one man- well, boy- whose passions are similar to your own. You two get on well, don’t you? Social justice warriors that you are?’

  Amelia-Rose’s brows pulled together. ‘That wasn’t what-’

  ‘Don’t worry about me, Amelia-Rose!’ I said quickly, before she could spin any more of her icky web in my hallway, ‘I shan’t be lonely for long. Of course I will never move past the pain of losing my father, but the Barachiel family will rise from the ashes of this tragedy like you said, as will the harem- I am sure of it.’

  The shepherd’s daughter’s mouth popped open. ‘You plan on rebuilding that filthy den? Karol, you cannot be serious! You don’t need a bevy of whores at your disposal, you need a wife! You need a queen!’

  Ahhh, the apprentice shepherd rears her second head!

  ‘I’m to be addressed as yo
ur majesty, Miss Choir,’ I said sternly, but not fiercely, ‘and as far as my needs go… you don’t have the faintest clue about what it is that I need…’ I ran my eyes over her and then looked away dismissively as I turned on my heel, ‘or what I desire, so you should probably stop offering up your unsolicited… advice and concentrate on your studies instead.’

  And yes by advice I mean yourself so back off!

  ‘What about love?’ she cried after me. ‘All God wants is for us to love one another, remember?’

  ‘I don’t think he meant us as in you and I specifically, Miss Choir,’ I joked as I turned onto the landing and out of her sight. ‘But luckily for you, Kohl might be of a different opinion. Go find him all right?’ I spotted Adeline pacing anxiously on the other side of the door at the foot of the stairs. ‘I have urgent matters of my own to attend to.’

  With that, I hurried down the stairs and opened the door. I hadn’t seen Adeline since the day before and hadn’t even known where she’d been all day or had had the time to worry about her- but when I saw her now, it was like emerging from a fog.

  That’s my girl! I thought, relieved. My blood didn’t stir at the sight of her like it always had, but my insides definitely warmed up. That’s the only queen I will ever need- the queen of the harem!

  ‘Karol!’ she cried, flinging herself at me and wrapping me up in her warmth and softness. ‘I’ve been so worried about you! No one’s let me in to see you all day and-’

  I didn’t want to talk though, so I pulled back just enough so that I could lean in and kiss her, silencing her and communicating just how desperately I needed to be with her too.

  But something had changed between us- something finite, because after first going rigid in my arms, my sweet Companion reared back and looked at me with the same distress and despair that Ora had been regarding me with all day- before slapping me.

  What the FUCK?

  I reeled back in shock and opened my mouth to ask her what the hell had gotten into her now, but before I could, Adeline burst into tears and ran away, leaving me alone, stunned, suddenly very aware that Kohén had wandered into the small hallway and was now gaping at me… and trying my hardest not to curse God for saving a life that I was no longer sure was worth living.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Kohén spluttered, stepping forward, but I turned my burning cheek away from him and stomped down to the ballroom- in the opposite direction that Adeline had gone in, and to the one place in the castle that I knew would be empty.

  I wasn’t all right, not even close, but I wasn’t about to discuss my plethora of woes with the stranger in my little brother’s skin- the one that was probably to blame for it all.

  Maybe even more so than Larkin.

  7.

  Hope Station

  Larkin

  The boy and I stared at one another for so long that snow actually began to fall before I admitted: ‘I don’t understand. I’m sorry… if I drop this rock right now, you will sense only a void in my head.’

  The boy nodded. ‘I’m not surprised. It can be frightening for humans to learn that they’re in the presence of a being without a soul. That is what I am and have been since that day in the waters beneath my father’s ship. I was so scared and heartsick that day that I didn’t even hesitate before agreeing to Satan’s trade, and just as soon as I’d agreed, I was surrounded by a pod of mermaids. They started untying my binds and breathing into my lungs, keeping me alive while a sudden storm broke overhead and put the ship in peril.’

  My jaw dropped. Mermaids?

  ‘Yes, mermaids- they’re not as bleedin’ sweet as they were made out to be, trust me, and only helped me because Satan promised to sink my father’s ship so that they could loot the looters and feast on the flesh of the sailors that went overboard-’

  ‘What?! Mermaids feast on PEOPLE?’

  ‘If they have to. They don’t like the taste of human flesh, but fish gotta swim…’ he wriggled his eyebrows at me and then held up his hand. ‘Look the mermaid thing is another story all together, and I’m trying to finish mine so focus, please like I said- it’s hard for me to stay on a train of thought as it is.’ He drew on his cigarette again. ‘The mermaids swum me to safety but then abandoned me on the mainland of another region, far away from the people that wanted me dead but without so much as an inkling as to where I was to go or what I was to do. New Rome, I believe it was now because it was the closest landmass at the time, though I didn’t know anything then. I tried communicating with Satan directly after, but she’d been sapped of her powers by granting my wish and so I thought that she’d abandoned me as well. Needless to say I was one very scared little boy in a very unfamiliar world, and the only thing I knew for sure was that I was an outsider and always would be, thanks to my gift, and thanks to the fact that I’d given away my soul, I was also now a monster. I have been stealing, lying and using people’s minds against them in order to survive since. I don’t feel especially bad about it so yes, I am a true dark Nephilim, because I am one as far as my ancestry and my soul is concerned.’

  I stared at him, more horrified to learn that my mother had abandoned him than I was to hear that he had abandoned God. ‘Satan didn’t check in on you or offer you anything in the way of guidance after she got the mermaids to help you?’

  ‘No, Satan tends to only communicate with people when there’s something in it for her, and she’d already gotten the only thing of worth that I had left at that point, so it was years before she made contact with me again, looking to make a few more deals. By then I was well and truly fucked up, but old enough to run some errands for her and desperate enough to want to capitalise on what I’d get out of helping her, so we’ve have had an employee/employer thing going on since. She uses me when she needs me, I get what I can out of it and then we go our separate ways after with no regrets.’ He dropped his cigarette on the ground and crushed it with the heel of his boot. ‘I’ve spent the last thirteen years living like a high-functioning homeless person thanks to that deal and I was all right with that for most of it but…’ he shook his head slowly, sadly. ‘Well... over the last couple of years I’ve started feeling restless, you know? Unfulfilled. You see, the biggest different between a dark Nephilim like me, and a black-feathered princess like yourself is that where you don’t love God, I can’t love God at all, or anyone else. You need a soul for that and I don’t have one so I cannot feel love or get into Heaven-’

  ‘I thought God took some of Satan’s archangels up into heaven? They didn’t have souls, did they?’

  ‘Actually they did. They were mostly just so dark that you couldn’t tell. You cannot be born without a soul, Larkin- and it can only be freely given away. Some of her archangels got lighter and lighter with the more time they spent on Earth but some of them got worse, just like I did. Once again, it all comes down to nature versus nurture.’

  ‘So... what are you living for then?’ I interrupted, feeling another headache coming on- but this time it was a natural one from information overload. ‘If you’re just dead on the inside and hateful-’

  ‘I’m not,’ he said quickly, waving away his own smoke. ‘I don’t have anything positive to live for, but I don’t have a particular vendetta to see through either so I’m sort of in purgatory; the kind of purgatory that I know that a lot of human men also exist in. I don’t have friends or family, but I can respect people- not many thanks to the mind reading thing of course- but I can grow fond of some of them and even enjoy their company at times. I can also enjoy things like food and sex and tobacco and alcohol and natural thrills like heights and sunshine so I am still somewhat alive on the inside…’ he made a face. ‘But man’s sole purpose on this earth is to find love, and when you know you cannot, you live a pretty pointless existence but with a definite, unchangeable end.’

  ‘I can imagine…’

  ‘Not yet you can’t- I see that now after poking through your mind all day.’ He smiled a bitter smile at me. ‘Perhaps I will like Hell as an al
ternate afterlife to Heaven- I’m told that it’s nice if you survive it- but I will never love anything or anyone more than I value myself and that makes me feel as lonely as any human man would, especially considering that I don’t have some higher purpose, like some of the other dark Nephilim do.’ He sighed. ‘I’d probably find the fulfilment I so crave if I could be evil and ambitious, like some of my Hell-bound comrades can be, but once again…’ he stood up and gently tapped on the side of my skull, ‘I have too much enforced empathy for my fellow man to want to hurt anyone beyond what they can stand and unless absolutely necessary, so I am trapped by the tiny sliver of humanity that I have left. On top of that, I can barely stand to be around people anyway, and the more there are, the more it drives me around the bend because it limits where I can go and what I can do.’ He retrieved his hand and scratched his dark red stubble again. ‘For a while now I have pondered just killing myself, but I am one of Satan’s strongest tools, it seems, and more valuable to her as a mortal than a bubble of energy, so she panicked when she realised that my suicidal thoughts were beginning to loop and offered me a deal: I’d do one more rather large favour for her, and if I did it right, I’d get my soul back. I’d still be indebted to her after, but at least I’d be a human again.’

  This story was starting to sound eerily familiar to me, and I wondered if I’d ever get desperate enough for want of something to sell Satan my soul. ‘She can do that?’

  ‘I hope so, otherwise I’m officially the biggest sucker in history. But her offer was an odd one this time and much more complicated than the last: I either had to go and shadow The Barachiels, or you, until you prove that a human can thrive under her guidance... or have perished.’

  I reeled back from him. ‘What?!’ I felt sick-the fact that she’d thrown in my death as an escape route for him made it pretty clear that she didn’t have as much faith in my longevity or intelligence as she’d eluded to having. ‘That’s insane! Why?’