The Wildest Woods

by S. K Munt

  ‘We’re all disposable to her!’ Siria argued, eyes flashing dangerously. ‘You’re not going head-to-head with the duchess of Calliel anymore, little swan, but a divine being! If you believe that she’ll let you push her and us around then it’s only because she’s allowing you to believe that, so wake up to yourself!’

  ‘Oh I’m wide awake, Siria…’ I said, stepping forward and enjoying the way they retreated. ‘Maybe I am disposable to her but it’s going to take her another seventeen years to breed a replacement for me and she’s not exactly patient, is she? You on the other hand well… there’s two of you.’ I looked from one to the other, and shrugged as I lifted my hand and started generating another fireball so they’d know to take me seriously. ‘Killing both might piss her off but if I take out just the one I’m sure she’ll-’

  ‘Larkin!’ Bastien called out again, sounding upset, but I whirled on him as Siria and Gabby backed up further while shouting at me that I was crazy.

  ‘Shut up! I get to talk now!’ I snapped, and everyone gasped and reeled back. ‘You all manipulated me into this position against my will and wishes, and here I am! I don’t like it, so if it’s here that you want me to stay you can all listen to me for two minutes, or find yourself another bloody chosen one because there’s only so much more of this crap that I can take! Thanks to my wings, there’s only so much that I have to take too, and you’ll all do well to remember that I don’t belong to anybody but myself!’

  Everyone began murmuring to one another while looking at me with grim expressions, but the shepherd sighed and nodded before stepping back into the shadows a little more. I felt more stabbing at the sides of my mind then, and I met Sam’s eyes as I heard:

  Be careful, Larkin… they’ve all put their faith in you because they have faith in Satan, remember? If you disrespect her and the women like Martya, Siria and Gabby who they believe to be her commanding officers, there is a good chance that they will begin to distrust you instead!

  They should distrust me! I thought back. I have no idea what I’m doing and zero faith in Satan! Distrusting me and questioning my judgement is the second healthiest thing that they can do! The first, however, is to distrust Satan herself and her minions! These women aren’t heroes- they are the reason why I was forced to get closer to Kohl in the first place, and why I drank more than I ought to and even why I read that letter from Karol at the worst possible time! I do not NEED their kind of help, especially if it’s given before it is requested!!

  ‘But you do belong to Satan, don’t you?’ the young girl that had been minding the kids the day before asked me then, still staring at my fireball with wide eyes. ‘She’s your mother and sort of your boss, isn’t she?’

  ‘Yeah!’ a man close to Sam’s age said, looking irked. ‘So if she tells you to get us out of here, then don’t you have to?’

  ‘Not unless she orders me to,’ I said, shaking my head and blowing out the fire when I heard someone whisper ‘Liberty’. That was just embarrassing! ‘She can order me to do two more things for her and I must do them or pay a price, but she’s probably already got something specific in mind and I don’t see her wasting those orders on trying to force me to work with Gabby or Siria if I’m completely against it, do you?’ I looked back to the other people. ‘That’s another thing that I want to make clear here: I have not sold my soul to Satan, I have not allowed her to possess me physically yet so she can’t force her will on me that way, and if I ignore her commands then I get sucked back into the ocean to where I was last night before I made this deal with her, which is bad for me but not necessarily the worst case scenario so heed my words or regret it! Certain death will be waiting for me if I deny her, but thanks to these women-’ I jerked my thumb at the twins and Martya, ‘I’ve gone through worse already, so I will not be taking a step forward in Satan’s name if I believe it is to the detriment of the human race, understood? It’s worth more than my life is to me- a sentiment that neither God nor Satan seem to share!’ I was bluffing a little because I couldn’t think of anything worse than ending up in Kohl’s grasp again, but I was mad enough, I hoped, to hide that from everyone but Sam and I saw their collective unease mount at my words, which pleased me. Keeping my grim smile in place I turned back to the dark women behind me and said: ‘And if you help me again without warning me first- on her behalf or your own- you will need someone to help put you out after, got it?’

  Gabby narrowed her eyes at me. ‘You’d let all of these people wander on without guidance just because you have a grudge against my sister and I? How lovely!’

  ‘Selfish!’ someone else cried out. I turned around and saw that it was a man. ‘Satan told us that you’ve consented to help keep us safe but you’re just threatening us and attacking our own-’

  ‘I have consented to try and get all of the people in this room to somewhere safer than this!’ I exclaimed, tearing my gaze off Gabby’s face and twisting slightly, addressing everybody at once again. ‘I have consented to follow Satan’s guidance- and Bastien’s- for a while because I don’t have an actual plan of my own, besides getting the hell away from Eden... and conveniently for me, her prophecy regarding me heading north with all of you happens to be compatible with that, so here I am-trying to step up as requested!’ I shook my head. ‘But it was a request and NOT an order! I am not her puppet and I am not her vessel and I am not going to allow anyone-’ I looked at Martya and my voice wobbled: ‘even someone that I once dearly trusted, to manipulate me in order to push their own agendas ever again, so we do this my way, or not at all!’ Martya sobbed onto the shoulder of a girl next to her that I didn’t recognize, and although it broke me, I turned back to the crowd so she wouldn’t see it. ‘Yes, I will follow this prophecy and Shepherd Birch until the end of the road and I will do what I can to keep you all alive and migrating north after he hands over the lead to me… but I am not going to go along with people that I distrust flanking me, and I am not going to refer to myself as your leader until I have proven that I am one, all right? Likewise, I am not going to promise you peace on earth, equality for all or a victory over the Barachiels should they come after us, because I do not know that I can deliver those things yet!’ I saw people looking at each other with expressions of concern and horror, and I held up my hand. ‘Perhaps you’d have more faith in me now if I said otherwise, but insinuating that I know exactly how to make you all happy and safe and healthy would make me a liar, just like every other dishonest leader there’s ever been and I refuse to do that! So do not follow me if all you’re looking to do here, is pick a fight with the Barachiels, and do not follow me because you think I worship Satan and am eager to do her evil bidding... and do not follow me if you expect me to make all of your dreams come true, or to avenge you by taking out those that have hurt you while thumbing my nose at God…’ I looked over at the small baby girl named Lark and then up at her parents, who looked more composed than anyone else. ‘Follow me if like me, you’ve got nothing left to lose that the established kingdoms in the world like Arcadia wouldn’t take from you anyway: your child, your life, your dignity, your happiness- and your will to live.’ I held up my hands. ‘I can’t guarantee that you will be able to keep all of those things if you follow me, but I can guarantee that I will never try to tell you that you’re not entitled to them again. And isn’t that all we really want here? To be told that yes, we are entitled to be happy and that no one gets to decide how our lives will go no matter how good or evil that person claims to be?’

  The crowd went silent after that- so silent that I couldn’t even feel Sam in my head. I should have been happy for the sudden lack of yelling, but the weight of that silence was pressing down upon me and flattening me making me more aware of all of the accusations and questions that their eyes were screaming at me instead.

  ‘I’m sorry if I didn’t just say everything that you hoped I would,’ I said gruffly, dropping my hands to my sides and shrugging. ‘I wasn’t prepared to give a speech or anything so you just got
my truths instead. If that’s not good enough for you, well…’ I nodded over at Siria and Gabby, ‘follow them. They’re skilled liars, and probably much more suited to this role, than I am. Nonetheless, the fact remains: if you follow me, then it will be me you are following, not Satan. She has taken over my life but my mind is still my own, as are most of yours. Please use them wisely before you decide to follow anyone out of the only home that most of you have ever known- you owe yourselves that much, at least, don’t you think?’

  No one else said anything else but I saw Bastien smiling gently, so I ducked my head and stepped out of the centre of the space leaving Gabby, Siria and Martya staring at the ground at their feet- and everyone else staring at them while they whispered about me. I knew the three women were furious with me, but I didn’t know if they were going to retaliate or not and right then I was too overwhelmed to care. I was shaking from being forced to confront my supposed fate without first having splashed water on my face.

  The twin women are angry, but they’re thinking more along the lines of how ungrateful you are, than they are about plotting revenge, Sam said quickly, making a sudden, painful return to my mind. More than anything, they’re hoping that Satan doesn’t punish them for the fact that you’re not more grateful for their intervention than they figured you’d be. They fear she will punish them and you for the things you just said.

  Satan already knows how I feel about them and her, I mentally whispered back. She can access our thoughts when we think about her as easily as you can all the time, remember? Besides, even if I was stupid enough to think I could get away with bad-mouthing her behind her back without it getting back to her… I don’t know how to hold my tongue anyway, so it’s only inevitable that my less than gracious thoughts about her are going to piss her off eventually. Better we get it all out now, yeah?

  Fair enough. But you don’t have to worry about that Martya girl trying to backstab you again- she’s more loyal to you than she is to Satan.

  Really? I asked, wetting my lips and darting a glance Martya’s way as she was consoled by her offsiders. How do you know that? What’s she thinking?

  Oh! For someone who was so morally opposed to my ability to pry into minds, you don’t seem to mind-

  Spit it out, Sam!

  Sam sighed. I can’t read her thoughts right now- she’s the one that I gave your rock to. But earlier she was worried sick about how you were going to receive her, and is pretty much willing to do anything to make it up to you. Socking her may have changed that, but I don’t think so...

  I walked over to the washer woman, Georgia, feeling weirded-out by the way people backed away from me, but sort of relieved that the room had become calm again. I indicated that I’d like one of the small terry-cloth rags from her stack of laundry and Georgia nodded and so I took one before doubling back to Martya, holding my breath. Really? I was almost overcome with relief. Well, if her thoughts are so pure, then why did you block her?

  Sam sighed again. Her thoughts are only pure when it comes to you. When she looks at me, however… well, her internal dialogue gets rather impure.

  I almost snorted out loud, but was kept in check by the wave of sadness that overwhelmed to know that Martya had started taking an interest in boys without my knowing about it. What else had changed about her? She has a crush on you already?

  Natural selection rears its ugly head- the fact that my hair colour is the same as so many members of her family has her thinking we’re on the same Darwinian track together for a reason.

  God save you then. When that girl wants something…

  She won’t want this for long. Not once she gets past the hair and gets to know the man beneath it.

  There was something rather melancholy about Sam’s last thought, but I didn’t have the time to address it because I was already in front of Martya and holding up the towel, like the limpest, rattiest olive branch that there had ever been.

  ‘Here,’ I said softly, but still rather brusquely. The girls flanking her (all young adults like us, this had to be the faction of scouting kids that Bastien had mentioned) all inched back with cautious airs. ‘For the blood.’ I swallowed hard and said. ‘I’m not sorry I hit you because I know that I really needed to do that. But I am sorry that you’re hurt.’

  ‘I’m sorry that I did something to warrant getting hit, and I know that I did. I just…’ Martya took the towel like I’d handed her the moon and yes, something deep and sweet twanged inside me, to see her look so hopeful after such a small gesture. ‘What do I have to do, Lark? To be considered as your friend again, and not your enemy?’ Her eyes spilled over and she shook her head. ‘I know you have a right to be angry with me, but I can’t bear it. Please… just tell me what I have to do to win your trust back, and I’ll do it, okay? It’s you I want to follow, Lark, not Satan!’

  I hugged myself and studied her carefully, rubbing my lips together as I considered this. ‘If you mean that, then firstly you have to swear that you’ll never lie to me again, okay? No matter how bad the truth is, or what you think speaking it will cost our friendship… I’d rather have a bad friend that I know inside out, then have a friend who only pretends to be good, that I do not know at all.’

  Martya nodded eagerly, stepping forward while pressing the towel to her broken skin. ‘I swear it! What’s the other thing?’

  My fingertips latched on to the boning in my corset, holding myself together. I used to be so good at this forgiveness thing! Damn Kohén and Kohl for robbing me of my ability to give it freely! And damn my foolish heart for wanting to do it again anyway, so badly. My nose tingled and my eyes watered as I stepped forward and gently moved a lock of her knotted hair out of her eyes.

  ‘Never- ever- die on me again, okay?’ Tears spilled out of my eyes. ‘I barely survived it the last time!’

  ‘Oh… Lark!’ And then Martya was the one wrapped around me, holding me together as I sobbed on her filthy shoulder. I didn’t have a whole lot to be grateful for in that moment, but I was elated to see that my tears were running clear again over the shoulder of a friend instead of a demon.

  11.

  Hope Station

  Larkin

  It would have been nice if Martya and I could have spent the rest of the day re-bonding, but there were things to do and plans to make before the time came for us to head onto the third camp, and now that I’d had enough sleep to make clear-thinking a possibility again, I knew that what I’d blurted out earlier had been true: that there was no way that I could even consider steering people north on Satan’s behalf, until I had a better idea of what Satan was all about, and how the Barachiel family had handled my dramatic departure.

  So I asked Bastien, Siria, Gabby, Martya and Sam- all people that had interacted with Satan or the Barachiels in a personal way- to have an open discussion about everything right away. Gabby and Siria weren’t exactly thrilled at the thought of spending any time with me at all and that was obvious, but I supposed their pride at being consulted overwhelmed their anger at having been publicly reproached, because they didn’t hesitate to join us. They hadn’t yet apologised for the part they’d played in all of my unfortunate twists of fate, but they hadn’t stormed off either so I took their moody silence as a sign that they were going to at least try to tread carefully around me from thereon out.

  Unfortunately, they had very little to tell me about the state of things in Arcadia because apparently, Kohl Barachiel had ordered a complete and utter lockdown on Eden just before he had followed me outside, and although Karol was blessedly still alive, he hadn’t yet lifted that order either, so I got the distinct impression that the Barachiels were going heavily into damage control and sorting their stories out before they addressed the public, and that made me scowl. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that wing right now!

  Martya went on to say that people were being warned to lock their houses tightly and practice precautions until I was found, but there had been no formal charges lain against me yet and therefore, no
one outside of Eden seemed to have the faintest idea of what was going on. Everyone assumed that I’d gone on a murderous spree, but only half of the people blamed me for it, and the others were having way too much fun guessing what had happened and frightening people with gross exaggerations to care about the truth anyway.

  Not one person knew that Karol had been about to propose to me though, and that had me wondering if maybe, he’d just been lying all along as a means of cornering me. Ora had convinced me that she was telling the truth about his feelings for me, but who knew what lengths a Barachiel man would go to, to bed a woman they had their eye on? Even Martya had seemed downright shocked to hear it and I’d thought that she’d had an ear in everything!

  Karol hadn’t technically survived though- his injuries had been incompatible with life and so he had died only seconds after falling out of the tower. However, the healers had gotten to work on him quickly and even though I knew it was Satan that had revived him thanks to my wish- not God or his healers- his return from the dead was being touted as a true miracle. Kohl Barachiel had emerged from the harem with his clothes ripped and sooty but unscathed, and Kohén had survived too, but he’d apparently sustained some bad burns and head trauma, and that was the last that Gabby had been able to pick up before she’d had to make a choice- flee, or stay. She’d fled with a lot of her people but not all, and so now we wait to wait for enough time to pass for some of our people to sneak back into Arcadia and liberate the ones that were being detained for questioning. That made me nervous, but Martya assured me that I had nothing to worry about- like Cherry, the members of The Sequestered that were still in Arcadia were either free and beneath suspicion, or locked up in Eden and completely unaware of how The Sequestered worked. If pressed for information, they’d have nothing to tell, at least not as far as the link to me went, or the locations of our camps or the fact that Satan was directly involved because as of right now they were still just a bunch of disconnected people that hated life in Arcadia and were looking for a way out. No one was ever told anything until they’d either spoken to Satan themselves, or had arrived at camp, so that was a relief, and everyone that went back was watched carefully by another member of the group to make sure that there weren’t any disloyal members in our ranks.