The Wildest Woods

by S. K Munt

  I slapped his shoulder playfully. ‘Cairo…’

  He cupped my face, and it was like the whole world drifted away. I knew that they were looking at us, but I didn’t care. ‘Larkin…’ He made his eyebrows dance. ‘Look don’t worry, my main harbour is secure enough for now, and if I get a year of hospitable seas, I should be able to get my personal treasury up high enough to-’

  The bell rang once, signalling the hour, and like clockwork, the adolescents that had been unloading the carts stepped back, picked up their lunches and then began to move over towards the common where most people ate during the warmer months, Trajan, Martya and Sam included, who either had classes to teach or attend after lunch. Sam didn’t look like he wanted to go, but Martya tugged gently on his arm so with a frown he nodded to me and I nodded back, signalling that I was okay and still perfectly all right with being alone with Cairo. I touched my amber ring, letting him know that I’d take it off if there was anything imperative to communicate, and he smiled warmly, some of the tension going out of his eyes.

  The doors of the college opened up a moment later and the senior students began to hurry out, eager to not only have their own lunch, but to greet the returning sailors and as they moved, the people that had taken their lunch at noon stood up, stretched, and then moved over to assume unloading the carts, picking up where the teens had left off. Cairo watched with me as the Inn doors opened and Lady Lucida strode out, wiping her delicate hands on a terry towel, looking every bit like the commanding chef that she was by day, and nothing like the courtesan she’d demanded to be able to be by night. She scanned the promenade, found me, indicated towards the pirates and I nodded, thinking of how busy she was going to be over the next few days while she helped the sailors ‘settle in’ and trying not to grimace. With a curt nod of her own she went back inside to fetch the platters of sandwiches that I’d asked her to quickly prepare when I’d come down, and Cairo chuckled.

  ‘What?’ I asked him, smiling, thinking that Lady Lucida definitely had men figured out, feed them and fuck them and then relieve them of their woes and their riches! It still blew my mind every day to know that she and the two girls I’d permitted to work for her were happy to make money that way, but how could I judge her for finding happiness in a profession that had traumatised me? Her inn was lovely, the food amazing and the money that she had invested back into the crown had allowed us to build the salt mine the previous summer, so as long as she and her employees continued to behave like ladies, I couldn’t fault her actions. In fact, I’d sort of forgotten about the fact that I’d kept her around because she was supposed to save the life of someone I loved one day, and if that turned out to be a false promise then I probably wouldn’t even care. There was still a lot of tension between us because sex was the most important part of her life and the least important part of mine, but she and her courtesans belonged here just as surely as I did.

  The Pirate Captain shook his head, then swept his arm across the common. ‘Everything just runs so smoothly here. Do you have any idea how many commands I would have to shout in order to get so many separate crews to rotate duties? You didn’t have to breathe a word.’

  I shrugged. ‘I think it’s different- you have to shout commands because your men work for a set wage, and can get a pay off by working slowly, preserving their energy or conveniently forgetting that they have somewhere else they have to be. Mine have a reason to look forward to every stage of the day, and know that taking too long to move from point A to point B will cost them something that they really want to do, later.’ I turned back to him. ‘But don’t change the subject- I want to know exactly how diminished your treasury has become.’

  Cairo smirked and motioned his head towards a nearby maple tree, and I followed him to stand under the speckled shade. ‘Before I answer that, I should probably know: Could you love a man that had no money but a lot of boats?’

  I didn’t think it was funny, and I could tell by the tightness behind his eyes that he didn’t think so either, and that got me to wondering how much he valued money himself. ‘That depends. How much of your money did you fritter away on buying shoes for me?’

  Cairo chuckled. ‘The shoes weren’t so bad- I have a friend in New Rome that makes them. The glass, on the other hand…’

  I winced. ‘You used your own money to buy it? Cairo! If I didn’t have enough you should have just let it go!’

  ‘I only covered the difference between what I told you it would cost, and what it actually ended up costing now that prices of things on the black market have inflated. Old books, plants, shoes… those are still very affordable, but building supplies, fabric and livestock are a different story. If I’d spent your money on the latter first, it would have been all right. But unfortunately, I bought a lot of non-essentials before I leaned how expensive the other things had gotten, so the money I made from selling your goods was already halved before I got around to pricing what you really needed. Then, when I got back to my main port, I learned that my other ships have been beleaguered by attacks over the last year and as a result, I had to purchase a lot of new weapons and gunpowder to keep everyone safe during the next.’ He shrugged, squatting on the ground and reaching for his flask. ‘But it’s fine. Now that you have so much of what you needed, you’ll find yourself to be twice as self-sufficient here as you are now by this time next year, won’t you? So you’ll need less. And I’ll recuperate what I spent by charging people passage and stealing what I can’t afford, like I always do. It’s just going to take longer to mobilise, while there are Callielian ships patrolling the waters everywhere.’

  I sighed, leaning against the tree behind him and watching the people that had gathered around the carts carry on with the unloading. I wasn’t overly concerned about his financial problems because I knew that I would be able to help, but it perplexed me to learn that he’d gone out on so many limbs for me without my having asked him to. We were technically just friends, and yet he’d been treating me like a princess for almost three years- his princess- and that made me feel awful because I still couldn’t work out if I wanted to return his affections, or hit him with a piece of wood every time he mentioned them.

  ‘I am confident that Raphael will be almost completely self-sufficient by this time next year, and I swear to you that I will reciprocate your kindness…’ I said slowly. ‘But you know I wouldn’t have asked for so many provisions if I thought you’d use your own money to get them, and I can’t help but feel guilty that you did.’

  ‘Well you shouldn’t- because of you, my men have gone from being seasonal workers to all hands on deck for over two years, and they’re thrilled with how fat their own purses have grown since their boss made up his mind to impress a woman. Scant or not, I have enough to pay all of my fleet’s wages at the end of this season, so that’s good enough for me for now- only when I am in a deficit, will I worry.’ He wiped the sweat off his brow, squinting down the road that led to the bay, where his Iana was moored. ‘I could have come up with more, but I’ve just been too busy to scavenge around the way I used to.’ He paused, taking a swig from his hip flask- and the blissful expression that spread across his face told me that he had more than water in there. ‘I know it’s trite, but scavenging was almost all of what we used to have to do to get by. You’d be surprised how much wealth my father amassed by finding the right places to dig.’

  I leaned over him and rubbed his shoulders gently. Yes I wanted to touch him, but mostly it was about hiding my knowing grin. ‘I wouldn’t say I’d be so surprised,’ I began casually. ‘We dug up a little gold ourselves a few weeks ago. I’m not sure what it’s worth, but it’s more than I’ve seen in my life, and I’d be happy for you to take at least half. You know… as payment for services rendered.’

  Cairo chuckled, twisting to look at me. ‘You know if you marry me, we’ll each be entitled to half of what the other has, right?’

  ‘Not here in Raphael…’ I reminded him, ‘not anymore.’

  Cairo
rolled his eyes. ‘You’re a hard woman, you know that? And no, I won’t be taking half of whatever spare change you have to offer- save that for extending the schoolhouse, like you’ve been planning too.’

  ‘Actually if you want to get technical, I’m still just a girl.’ I squeezed his shoulder blades that little bit harder. ‘And you’re too old for me. Or at least you will be next week, when you turn twenty-two.’

  Cairo made a face at me. ‘If you’re going off the traditional markers, I became too old for you last year when I turned twenty-one and became an official adult.’ He leaned back against my chest and whispered: ‘And that’s right about the time that you started putting those delicious hands on me, so where does this too-old folderol come from, hmm?’

  His face was so close to mine that I could have bent down and kissed him, but I drew back and touched my hands to his treacle-coloured hair, which he’d slicked back into a short ponytail. ‘Well, I only just now noticed that you’re getting grey hairs-’

  ‘I am not!’ he barked, sounded offended- truly offended- for the first time in ever and I couldn’t hold in my laughter. He rose to his feet and pushed me back against the tree, wagging one of his obnoxiously-large fingers in my face, and I giggled harder. ‘Admit that you’re lying!’ But he self-consciously touched his other hand to his head, and my laughter increased. ‘You are lying, right?’

  I struggled to get myself under control when I saw the genuine fear in his eyes. ‘You have the hair of a six year old,’ I said, crossing my heart, and he made a face- clearly not liking that comparison any better. ‘And it’s perfect.’ I touched his facial hair. ‘This thing, on the other hand…’

  ‘Lay off the beard, all right?’ Cairo ran his fingertips and thumb down along his chin. ‘You try being responsible for a bunch of grown men at thirteen. For the first three years of my reign, these whiskers were the only testament to credibility that I had!’

  ‘Well, if you care more about what they think of it than I do, stop complaining that I’m not in love with you because what I want in a man differs from what a limey pirate expects from one.’ I smiled innocently. ‘After all, I’m still only nineteen, remember? I can’t be seen fraternising with an old, full-bearded pirate! What sort of example would that be setting for the girls that look up to me?’

  ‘Full bearded old pirate... I…’ Cairo’s face was flushed with indignation, but he blinked suddenly, and then he was smiling. ‘I don’t believe it…’ he whispered, touching my cheek softly and immediately, my stomach flipped.

  ‘What?’ I asked, made uneasy by his tender smile, which was completely out of context with the teasing conversation.

  ‘You’re flirting with me,’ he stated softly, and my tummy tightened now. ‘The first year you practically sprained your eyeballs rolling them at me, last year you began to take my gentle teasing with a bit of a sense of humour and when I left, I knew that you would miss me…’ he swallowed hard. ‘But I figured it would be years yet, before you defrosted enough to actually flirt back… to put your hands on me because you can’t help it.’ He moved closer, so that our bodies were practically touching in every place, and his bright grey eyes glittered down into mine. ‘Might this be the year that I finally get to steal our first kiss?’

  I’d been wondering the same thing since he’d last departed, and I’d even started hoping that the answer would be yes. But now, while he was standing so close… while he was breathing my air, and holding me to the tree…

  Just like that, I was thinking of first kisses, and the way that Kohén had pressed me against a tree- how he’d stared at my mouth.

  ‘So do I just… do I keep my lips closed?’

  ‘At first,’ I practically whispered, lifting my face to his like a sacrifice to an executioner’s axe. ‘Stroke my lips with yours-keep them soft and gentle at first- and then sort of slip your tongue into my mouth and I’ll…’ I was going to faint, I was sure of it! ‘I’ll touch it with mine and then…’

  ‘And then?’ Kohén was practically panting.

  ‘Then we’ll seal off the kiss by closing our lips and pulling back,’ I stared at his mouth as it lowered toward mine. ‘But in a real kiss, you’d move your hands and then part her lips with your tongue a few times and kiss her deeply-’

  Kohén had sighed and pressed his mouth gently against mine and I breathed in through my nose, inflating my lungs as his silken lips touched mine tentatively…

  Something inside me wobbled. It had been a ‘real’ kiss for Kohén all along, and I’d been too blinded by my ugliness to realise that he’d loved me already, despite it. I sobbed and ducked out from under Cairo’s shadow, experiencing a full body convulsion borne from both fear and sorrow, and I heard Cairo groan.

  I messed everything up with Kohén, I realised, pressing my heart to my chest and trying to get a hold of myself. And I’ll mess things up with Cairo too, I just know it! I don’t understand myself, let alone understand men!

  ‘Larkin I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to-’ Cairo grabbed my arm and pulled me back, but he was flushed and his eyes were glassy beneath his disappointment, and I knew that even though he hadn’t intended to kiss me, one encouraging sign from me would have changed that.

  And I’d been only heartbeats away from giving such a signal. My guard was slipping, and although that should have felt like a blessing because it meant that some of my Eden-induced trauma was fading at long last, the truth was that I’d be clinging tightly to that sexual trauma because it distracted me from what lay beneath it... from acknowledging the fact that I had loved Kohén Barachiel my whole life, and that whatever torch I’d carried for him at the age of five hadn’t yet gone out, not completely. How could it have? When we’d parted ways, we’d parted ways as two strangers, not only to one another, but to ourselves. I’d saved the life of the ‘bad’ Kóhen… but where had all of the good gone? What was his character made of now that Satan had taken his feelings for me out of his heart? Had his kindness dissolved as Kohl’s had, or was he a good kid again now that his obsession with me had been pulled out of his soul like a weed?

  And on the other side of the coin- what if his feelings for me had been what had made him a good kid all along? What if now, without my influence, he was as spoiled and self-pitying as Kohl had proven to be?

  I hated the crowned prince of Arcadia, yes. I’d almost killed him and most days, I wished that I had for how he’d hurt me… but he’d been such a big part of my life that even now, the absence of my best friend felt like a missing limb- in a way that I could not mourn or miss the ‘good’ Kohl because the foundations of our bond had been forged on letters, not time spent, and had been burned away by that fucking branding iron. Kóhen had intended to brand me too, but at least he’d agonised over the decision for the better part of a decade before going through with it! At least he’d tried everything else first before he’d decided that his happiness mattered more than mine! Kohl had done it so quickly that he’d proven that he could fall in and out of hate as he could love! That he could switch from angel to demon in the blink of an eye!

  Kohén had acted like a demon in his last hour too, and I never wanted to see that side of him again, but I did miss the boy that had moved the Statue Of Liberty from one coast to the other for me to prove his devotion. The same boy that had given over Pacifica’s greatest asset, just to show me that there was no price that he would not pay for my approval. He’d cheated on me- he’d cheapened our love by giving into his urges, yes- but hadn’t I done the same, when I’d begun writing to Kohl? When I’d sold myself to Karol? I could hate Kohén for an eternity for the fact that he’d tricked me into giving up my virginity, had been willing to brand me in the end... and because he’d considered sharing me with his twin... but he could have chosen to hate me time and time again for the ways that I had hurt him and yet, he had always forgiven me.

  So somewhere along the line, I’d started to forgive him too- even if it was against my better judgement. And because of that, my feeling
s for him were now in a sort of purgatory that I suspected would not abate until I’d seen him again and had deduced that it was only Satan’s conspiring that had made us feel so connected in the first place and that if he could, he would go back to the day that he’d realised that he’d loved me, open the door, and encourage me to flutter free.

  But I couldn’t know what he was like now, or how that last night had changed him, because no one ever mentioned him at all, not even Cairo’s secret sources that had managed to find out that Amelia-Rose Choir and her father were still living in Eden, and that my brother and his family had moved to Tariel. I had a feeling that Kóhen had been hidden away, or possibly even shipped off to Pacifica with his twin (it was incredibly difficult to get news from Pacifica via the pirates now that they apparently had a very sophisticated naval base) but I did know that even if I kissed Cairo that spring, it would still take me years to get Kohén Barachiel out of my head and heart enough for me to be able to love someone else, and that was one of the main things that kept me from falling into my pirate’s arms. I needed to tell Cairo that there was more to my aversion to romance than my sexual hang-ups but I didn’t know how to admit to that without jeopardising his high opinion of me.

  ‘I have more than some spare change, Captain Kingslater,’ I said stiffly, shooting Riesling and her girlfriend Quilline a dirty look when they walked past, making smoochy faces at me behind Cairo’s back. I smoothed my skirts and hugged myself. ‘But I don’t know how much it is worth in the lawless waters, or if there’s enough there to restore your treasury to its former glory… so how about you meet me up on my terrace at six so you can assess what was found, hmm?’

  Cairo frowned. ‘Meet you? I thought you said you wouldn’t leave my side for the rest of the day.’

  ‘That was before I knew there was a bounty on my head,’ I lied, backing away. ‘You assure me that only those that are loyal to my crown are aware of my existence and my location, but like you said- fifteen million Cadians is a very tempting offer and would challenge even the most faithful subject’s loyalty, so I’m going to go speak to the coven about binding spells- perhaps there is something that they can conjure up to guarantee that loose lips will not get the chance to sink ships...’