The Wildest Woods

by S. K Munt

  He’ll come back! He always comes back and this time he’ll sail even faster than ever before because he knows he’ll get kisses when he returns!

  ‘Everything will be fine, Larkin’ Martya assured me, though I could see in the mirror that she hadn’t looked up from the manuscript in her hands. I’d warned her against reading the book that I’d already re-read three times, typed up and had now bound with a comb so that it would be ready for Miriam’s final inspection, but she’d had nothing else to do while her toes were drying and she couldn’t get into her poufy princess dress until her make-up had been done, so she’d ignored me and continued reading. ‘You’ve literally got one hundred people pulling their weight to make sure that tonight’s a night we’ll never forget. I mean, if we can build a city in two years, we can throw a party together in one week, yes?’

  ‘I know…’ I held out my champagne flute again, keeping it away from the dress. ‘But I just want it to be perfect, you know? Not just for Cairo and me, but for everyone.’

  ‘That’s exactly how I feel about this dress. That being said…’ Riesling gave my champagne a pointed look and just like that, Quilline came over and pried the flute from my fingers before going back to my desk, where she’d been busy pinning flowers into Martya’s pastel pink powdered wig, the creation of which had sparked a craze because from what I could tell, our poor wigmaker hadn’t slept over two weeks because her services had been in such demand. ‘Thanks hon.’

  ‘Anytime…’

  ‘Sorry,’ I mumbled, feeling guilty and checking her rolled hair for wet spots. ‘Did I drip on you?’

  ‘No,’ Riesling’s words were muffled because she was holding pins between her lips. ‘I’ve just worked too hard on this dress to see it ruined before anyone else gets to see it on you.’

  ‘Then you might want to make sure that Cairo sees it last,’ Martya joked, leaning over to touch her freshly-painted toenails before settling back down with the book. ‘Because I’m pretty sure the moment he sees her in it, he’s going to shred the thing, dragon-slayer style.’

  My face heated in embarrassment, but my pulse accelerated at the idea. ‘He wouldn’t dare,’ I promised Riesling, seeing the look of worry flit across her features. ‘I’ll make sure that I take it off before we-’ my mouth went dry when I realised what I’d been about to admit to, and the three women cracked up laughing.

  ‘Listen to you!’ Quilline hooted, while Riesling spluttered out her pins. ‘And here I was thinking that you were going to join our camp!’

  ‘No she was starting a celibate camp of her own!’ Riesling giggled. ‘Population her, Sam… and everyone under eighteen in the village!’

  ‘Hey!’ Martya piped up, but she was laughing too. She pointed to herself. ‘Virgin, remember? I’m a member of the celibate team too!’

  ‘That’s what you say now,’ I teased, and the designer and beautician cracked up laughing when I finished: ‘But if you keep reading that wonderfully filthy book, you’re going to be looking to switch teams soon enough, trust me.’

  ‘Oh I believe you because this is scintillating,’ Martya was flushed as she sat up, ‘But don’t you even try to switch focus of this conversation, your highness. You basically just admitted that you’re going to strip before you allow Cairo Kingslater to have his wicked way with you tonight, so how about you elaborate on that, hmm? Are you actually going to this ball, or are you guys going to sneak off to have a private fireworks display while we’re all eating his cake?’

  I lifted my head primly. ‘A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.’

  ‘A lady doesn’t leave scorch marks on a ship’s steering wheel either, but I’ve heard you did exactly that yesterday,’ Quilline said, and I gasped as the others cracked up laughing.

  ‘Who told you that?!’ I demanded hotly, but I was somewhat distracted from the conversation now that Riesling had moved to pin my other flared sleeve, allowing me to get a look at myself in the dress in the mirror across from me. My cheeks were flushing at the idea of everyone knowing that Cairo and I were about to drop anchor in the biblical sense, but one look at the way the scaly green dragon dress hugged my every curve had every other part of me heating up too. I’d never looked so blatantly oversexed before in my life!

  Holy shit- Cairo really might shred this! I thought, twisting slightly as I was overcome with horror and expectation. The dress was WAY too much, and I too much in it! I didn’t know how that was possible seeing as how every inch of me but my upper chest and shoulders was covered by the pale green, scaly fabric but I looked less like a dragon, and more like the very personification of sin.

  ‘Oh it’s getting around…’ I heard Martya say, and I moaned and covered my face with my hands. ‘It’s also getting around that instead of getting mad, he said that he was going to make sure you burned handprints into every single wooden surface of his precious boat starting with his headboard-’

  ‘Stop!’ I begged, and the others kept on laughing. Oh my God! How did they know he’d said that to me? My hands were hot against my face- hot enough to melt my make up off so I wrenched them away and tried to look indignant. ‘Where did you hear that?’

  ‘Sam, of course,’ Martya said, her eyes running up and down my dress enviously. She looked back to her manuscript and tried to sound blasé. ‘Cairo’s friends were reflecting on a conversation they had with him at the The Lady Inn, and Sam mentally overheard.’

  I made a face at the mirror, watching the dress go from tight around my breasts to downright lethal. ‘Cairo was bragging after a few drinks, you mean?’

  Martya snickered, getting up and moving over to the mirror when Quilline finished with the wig and beckoned her over. ‘Pretty much.’

  ‘You can’t blame the guy though,’ Quilline pointed out, pulling out her make-up but putting the sparkly stuff she’d used for her and her girlfriend’s mermaid princess costumes aside. ‘He’s been waiting for how long to get into your royal snakeskin?’

  ‘I’m a dragon!’ I protested, but they all just laughed again and I knew they were right- the dress was wrapped around me like a snakeskin and I was going to have a hard time explaining to everyone that night that I was supposed to look like the figurehead of Cairo’s ship and not the fictional asp from the fictional Garden of Eden. ‘Well, I’ll look more like one when I have the mask and wings on, anyway… I hope...’

  ‘I don’t care if you tell people that you’re a snake or a dragon- this looks incredible on you,’ Riesling said, standing back to admire her handiwork. ‘Or it will once I take in the rest of it.’

  I glanced at her, concerned. ‘Will you have time to do that and finish getting yourself ready hon?’

  She nodded, and her pale green eyes were reflecting the green fabric of my dress prettily before she glanced over at the clock on my wall. ‘Yeah, it will only take me five minutes to sew those seams up and we’ve got hours left. Just try not to shrink anymore before eight though, all right? This gown has been difficult enough to make as it is without you dropping a pound every day!’

  ‘I really do appreciate your hard work, I swear, and I’m sorry about the weight. When I’m excited or anxious, I find it hard to eat, and I’ve been running around like crazy too…’ I looked back at myself, trying not to wince at the way my bust was exploding out of the top of the gown. I’d known it would be clingy because of the sleek mermaid shape I’d requested, (you could not see it from the front, but I had a few dragon spikes going from my rump and down the sleek train to the floor) but I hadn’t realised that I’d look so voluptuous in it, and I was starting to feel a bit panicky about the whole thing. Did I look like dragon queen… or a Companion?

  It’ll be fine… I thought, swallowing hard and trying not to panic at the idea of Cairo actually pouncing me. I wanted him to make love to me, yes- I was fairly certain that tonight was the night… but I didn’t want everyone to take one look at me and read my dirty mind! Nor did I want Cairo to be so overcome that I’d be pounced rather than seduced because jud
ging by his build, I was going to need a lot of foreplay.

  ‘Don’t apologise- I’ve enjoyed the challenge,’ Riesling said, looking me up and down with shining eyes. ‘And I’m certainly going to enjoy the reactions you’ll get to this dress tonight!’

  ‘Yeah?’ I asked, trying to look hopeful while feeling overwhelmed with self doubt. I didn’t want Riesling’s feelings to be hurt, but I was nowhere near as in love with the dress on me now as I had been when it had been on her tailor’s dummy. At first it had looked amazing, but the harder I stared, the more I began to worry that it was playing up my flaws more than it was playing up my assets. My hair, eyes and skin all seemed to be the wrong hue for that particular shade of green, and I felt like I looked shorter and plumper than I was despite the fact that I’d lost weight and was standing tall. Lindy had always made me tight dresses that showed even more skin than this one did, and yet she’d made them in pieces with layers, so the final product had always come across as being soft and feminine... However, Riesling had glued on leather scales like fringe in perfect rows and that gave the dress one long unbroken silhouette that didn’t seem to be doing me any favours at all.

  I need to try and get more of a blue mood in my eyes before I go out in this tonight… I mused, glancing at the mirror and trying not to let my anxiety show as I got up on my tip toes to check that wearing heels would elongate me and stop me from looking so top-heavy. And possibly some sun. That’ll help, right?

  ‘Are you kidding me?’ Quilline demanded, not looking up from Martya’s face, which she was covering with base make up. ‘It’s hard enough to not be attracted to you as it is-’

  ‘Oh hush up or she’ll be wearing a burlap bag and going as a fairytale kingdom’s bag of wheat,’ Riesling said, and Quilline chuckled.

  ‘You know I only have eyes for you, sweetheart,’ she dusted powder over Martya’s face while winking at me. ‘I’m just admiring your handiwork, is all. If I were you, I’d expect a massive flower delivery from Captain Kingslater tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Really? Because I don’t expect him to leave our queen’s bedroom until next week,’ Riesling giggled, and I swatted at her as best as I could without falling off the velvet ottoman that she’d posed me on.

  ‘That’s enough!’ I cried. ‘I’m feeling self-conscious and nervous enough as it is! The last thing I need is for everyone to gossip about my sex life all night long!’

  ‘Agreed,’ Quilline picked up a kohl pencil and began to fill in Martya’s eyebrows deftly. ‘But you better find a way to sneak some amber into this outfit or Sam will realise that you’re hot for Cairo too and the next thing you know, you’ll be breaking up a fight instead of making love!’

  My heart skipped a beat. ‘What?’ Riesling sucked in a breath and gave her girlfriend a sharp look, but Quilline went on, oblivious to how astonished I was- and how Martya had stiffened in front of her.

  ‘Oh come on Larkin, everyone in the kingdom knows that Sam McIntyre is as much your personal guard dog as Inoborna is. He’s tolerated Captain Kingslater until now but he’s been turning as green as this dress this week since you started actually kissing his rival-’

  ‘Quill! Hush!’ Riesling hissed while my stomach flipped. ‘That’s not-’

  ‘What?’ I demanded. Rival? Quilline thought Cairo and Sam were RIVALS? ‘What are you on about? Sam and I are just friends!’

  ‘No, you’re just Sam’s friend- but you’re the object of his desires, and everybody knows it so ipso facto, he and Cairo have been rivals since day one.’ Quilline gave Riesling a dirty look. ‘And what are you hushing me for? We were talking about this just last night and you said-’

  ‘They want you to shut up because they’re afraid my feelings are going to be hurt,’ Martya piped up, not opening her eyes, but I could see that her knuckles were curled tightly around her knees and that made me feel awful for her. Quilline had muted all of her features with the thick make up, making her expression unreadable. ‘Because I’m in love with Sam and it’s unfortunate for me that he cant see me beyond his obsession with my best friend.’ She slid her eyes to me without moving her face and said: ‘Don’t get all frantic on my behalf, Lark- unlike you, this isn’t news to me.’

  Riesling moaned softly under her breath while Quilline’s mouth fell open. She looked from me and then back to Martya and then cringed, withdrawing the kohl pencil. ‘Oh… Oh hell…Martya, I’m so-’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Martya closed her eyes again and though she did look fine or at least, composed, her fingertips were still digging into her knees. ‘How about we just change the subject, hmm? This is Larkin’s big day and I don’t want to ruin it for her. Besides, I’ve been looking into the whole Lesbian thing for a few months and I think I’m ready to come on-board anyway, so I double my wardrobe if nothing else...’

  But my day was already good and ruined, and I was so thrown that all I could do was stare at Martya in horror. I knew that nothing had progressed between Martya and Sam in the romantic sense since she’d last spoken of her feelings for him, but they’d gotten very close in a friendly way, so I’d sort of assumed that she’d either gotten over her crush, or had been just biding her time until he got his soul back so she could pounce accordingly.

  But now it sounded like her torch had been burning bright this whole time, and the only reason why she hadn’t had any success with him was because she believed that he had a thing for me. It wasn’t true, not at all, but I was appalled that she thought that was the case! How was I going to convince her otherwise when she seemed so set on her opinion? And why did everyone presume that Cairo and Sam’s issues had anything to do with their feelings for me? They were from opposite pirate bands- it only made sense that they would be cold and suspicious towards one another, right?

  ‘I’m sorry too,’ Riesling said quickly, standing up, ‘for the fact that the only thing blunter in this room than my girlfriend is are these scissors, so hold still for a few minutes all right? I need to go down to my sewing room and fetch a different pair.’ I nodded dumbly as she patted my shoulder and made a hasty retreat.

  ‘Actually, I need to think of a reason to leave you two alone for a moment too… so how about I go cough my foot out of my mouth, hmm?’ Quilline was bright red as she scurried off after Riesling, her black ringlets bobbing with every step that she took. They closed the door quickly behind them, but I could still hear Riesling scolding her for being tactless as they hurried down my exterior stairs.

  ‘That was subtle,’ Martya remarked dryly as she opened her eyes and turned to face the mirror over my dresser, avoiding my eyes. ‘Do you think they plan on coming back? Because if they don’t, I’m going to need you to finish my make up, you know.’

  I awkwardly twisted around so that I could look directly at her. Well, at her back, anyway. ‘Sam and I are just friends, Martya, and I wish you’d come to me sooner so I could make it clear that we’re not in competition with one another over him!’

  ‘I know we’re not in competition,’ Martya said, appraising her reflection sadly as she began to run a brush through her long russet hair. ‘How could we be, when you come in first for everything without even trying?’

  My brows pulled together as tightly as her words pulled on my heartstrings. ‘Don’t be absurd! You have so much more going for you than I do! You’re smart and funny-’

  ‘You’re those things too-’

  ‘Not to the same degree-’

  ‘Who cares?!’ she exploded, throwing her brush down and tuning to glare at me, and I was overwhelmed by horrific feelings that were washing over me, reminding me of what it was like to live in a harem with several girls that were all jostling for one male’s attention. ‘Maybe I tick one or two boxes with a slightly bolder stroke than you do, but you tick them too along with seventeen others, and you’re beautiful to boot! No, not just beautiful- incomparable! And don’t tell me I’m exaggerating or that Sam doesn’t agree because that’s the exact word he used when describing you to me once! The
word he used when he showed me all of the wonderful illustrations that he’s done of you to compliment his bloody work!’

  Whoa! Is she saying that he was drawing me that day on the trail? Is that why he never lets me see any of his pictures? OH Sam… what were you thinking? We’d be horrible together! My stomach tightened and when Martya saw my reflexive wince, she smirked.

  ‘Exactly. So don’t waste your breath trying convince me that I can hold a candle to you in his eyes, when he’s already admitted that nobody on the face of the earth can!’ She held up her hands. ‘It’s not your fault Larkin and I don’t want you to apologise or feel sorry for me because it makes it worse. Just do me a favour and take me at my word, all right? Because if you make me sit here and list all of the things he’s said and done that have convinced me that he’s besotted with you, I’ll end up crying my make-up off.’

  I’d been about to demand further proof so that I could obliterate her arguments, but her plea pulled me up short and made me think long and hard about something I’d tried not to put much stock in over the years- Sam’s flirting. Since the first day we’d met, he’d dropped a lot of hints about taking me to bed, but I’d always written them off as him just being soulless and oversexed, as he’d always claimed to be. But what if he hadn’t been joking that whole time? What if I was the only woman that he said that kind of thing to?

  I cleared my throat as I tentatively stepped off the ottoman. ‘Does he ever flirt with you?’