by S. K Munt
My stomach rolled. ‘She is scared of me then? Because of the rumours?’
Lady Lucida nodded swiftly as we ascended. ‘All of us are somewhat wary of you, Guardian because yes, we have heard that you tortured the Companion that you claimed to love while she was in your care… but it’s more personal for her because although you clearly don’t remember it, your paths have crossed before.’
I sucked in a breath. ‘Where? How? When?’
Sam snorted gently again. ‘Oh goody… story time.’
Lady Lucida gave him a mean look but then turned her attention back to me and shrugged. ‘I don’t know the specifics, only that you were much younger and visiting the palace in Janiel while she was still a member of the harem there. She told me once that there was a ball held in your father’s honour, and because her own master was abroad studying at the time and because she was still underage, she was at her liberty to attend as a guest. That night you danced, you flirted and apparently she was enchanted by you after, so much so that she couldn’t believe the rumours when they first reached us the year before last because she’d always thought of you as the ultimate prince charming, you know? The fairest of them all.’ Sam snorted again while my face heated, and I hoped he couldn’t hear the way my heart was racing. ‘I believe that she had high hopes of meeting you again one day when you were both of age and able to, uh, make a more intimate connection… but that never came to pass. She was kidnapped by pirates and taken from Janiel and you went on a bit of a rampage of your own within your own harem and so she is probably very shocked to meet you again under such alien, unfavourable circumstances. And the fact that you attacked her new master-’
‘Master?’ I demanded, looking around for the knight again as my heart flip-flopped in my chest. ‘That was a prince?’
‘No- that was the pirate that kidnapped her. Well, he kidnapped us from the worst pirates that stole us initially, so though he took us further away from our homeland, we owe him our lives. He brought us to this harbour, and we have lived here since.’
‘You’re prisoners here?!’
‘No,’ she patted my arm and smiled reassuringly. ‘Not at all we wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. The captain still calls the ocean his home, has no jurisdiction over this kingdom and only visits this harbour periodically, but although he technically released us both, he is rather obsessed with Erika, so he spends every available second that he has here at her side. He cannot marry her and claim her as his own because she was rendered barren by her initiation into Janiel’s harem and because most marriages aren’t permitted here anyway-’
‘WHAT?!’ I demanded, stricken. They couldn’t marry here? God would hate that!
‘-but but he regards her as his all the same, and pays her a handsome sum annually to ensure that she does not have to um… be unfaithful to him. Not that she’d be able to anyway- every man here is so scared of the Captain that they’d soon jump off his plank than touch what he considers to be his prized possession.’
‘That’s extraordinary!’ I said, winded to hear that the lovely Erika was off-limits despite the fact that she was a Companion. I didn’t want to admit myself that I’d already considered propositioning her, but I had and now I felt ill inside. I’d never allowed myself to seriously entertain the notion of bedding a Companion before, but now that I’d seen that breathtaking beauty, I couldn’t get her, her spectacular eyes or the amount of gold that I had stashed away in my bag out of my head. What would a girl like that cost in a place like this? And why was I still thinking about it?
‘It’s a difficult situation for her,’ Lady Lucida agreed softly. ‘But the Captain is a very charming man and he’d throw himself in front of God himself to protect her, so she cannot help but feel affection for him in return- hence her vexation just before when she found herself in the presence of her childhood crush, while he attacked the lover that her destiny has allocated to her. I suppose she didn’t know how to handle her emotions so she fled for fear of having a breakdown in front of everyone, because she’s been rather fragile since those McIntyre bastards in Calliel grabbed her and tried to have their way with us before the captain intervened.’
‘That poor thing,’ I said, thinking that I had to find a way to get her alone, first to apologise to her for not recognising her, then for disillusioning her with my past behaviour, and then, to assure her that I was trying to redeem myself. ‘It sounds like a difficult situation indeed.’
‘I know,’ Sam said, patting my shoulder hard enough to be considered to be series of smacks. ‘Disgusting, isn’t it? To think that a woman could be bought and sold like that? Good thing you’ve taken a vow of abstinence, hmm? Or she might just tempt you into making your royal prick a priority above all else again.’
I slitted my eyes at him. ‘I suppose you’ve taken a vow of abstinence too, yes? A man must have, to judge another man so harshly for a few lapses of judgement in is youth while under the influence of a fucking succubi?’
Sam drew back, and his blue eyes were sparking steel. ‘That’s what you’re telling yourself, is it? That your Companion was the demon in that little scenario? How convenient!’
‘No, it’s not,’ I looked forward with trepidation as Lady Lucida steered me through the palace doors. ‘But I’m doing my best to avoid acting like a demon now, and pray every day that Larkin Whittaker is doing the same thing because I’ve heard that she was determined to lead me into temptation as I was willing to be led.’ I turned to Lady Lucida again as I was hustled down the carpet that led across the bright, sunlit throne room. ‘Who is the captain anyway? What’s his name?’ Because even if he did save her, he’s still forcing her to spend time with him, and I’d very much like to become her new saviour! That would help me atone for my past sins, wouldn’t it? Breaking another man’s hold on a Companion the way I wish that someone had broken my hold on my own before it was too late?
‘Kingslater,’ Lady Lucida whispered. ‘Captain Kingslater.’
‘Son of Paris Kingslater,’ an elbow jabbed into my ribs hard from Sam’s side. ‘You’ve heard of him, yeah? Bit renowned, isn’t he?’
My legs went numb but luckily for me, I was able to hide it by falling to my knees at the King’s feet. There were TWO Captain Kingslaters? And this kingdom had ties with one of them? It was unthinkable! Paris Kingslater was listed as public enemy number two after Larkin Whittaker, so what on earth was his son like?
‘Well, well, well…’ a soft voice whispered as my mind reeled, ‘a Barachiel that would bow at another man’s feet? Now I think I have seen everything.’
I looked up at the king, and as my widening eyes swept from his violet ones, across his perfect, golden features and then finally came to a rest on his gigantic, tattered but snow-white wings, I was struck by the understanding that this man wasn’t exaggerating at all.
He was Raphael Lazarus, and he had, indeed, seen everything.
37.
Libertie City, Raphael
Larkin
A million emotions streaked across Cairo’s face after I dropped the bombshell that I knew would disintegrate us, but optimistic as always, he settled on looking frustrated and impatient instead.
‘Because of that stupid elixir you girls had to drink? Don’t be daft! Your country wouldn’t have s many third-borns if it was so infallible-’
‘I did not drink an elixir, I had a vial of the poison injected into my uterus, where it stayed, poisoning me for two years- two years of the fifteen that it was built to last for!’ I cried, and his brows drew together in confusion, creating dimples above them so darling that I remembered why I tried to annoy him on purpose as often as I could. ‘On the night I left Eden, I learned that it had a tracking device connected to it so I took a knife and cut the thing out of me, and though Satan assured me that she’d healed me after, and that I’d begin to menstruate normally again soon enough, I haven’t done so yet. I haven’t even had the slightest sign that I might soon, and after speaking to Lady Lucida about oth
er Companions that she knew that did something similar, I know that there isn’t one case of a woman going on to have a healthy baby afterwards but if I’m lucky, it might wear off in time for menopause to kick in!’ Cairo had gone white and sensing that I’d finally found his Achilles, I took a step back his way, cornering him with my ugly truth and certainty. ‘So you can see why I’m beside myself, can’t you? Satan wants me to sleep with Kohén in order to get pregnant because she saw me nursing his child in a vision once… but she had that vision not only before I was inducted into that harem, but before I was even born. She saw me as his queen too- on an Arcadian throne, and though I’m thunderstruck that she cannot see how blinded she has become to my actual potential for the glory of my projected potential… I am nonetheless obligated to go through with this ridiculous charade in the name of humouring her anyway.’ I swallowed hard and reached up to touch his smooth, glorious jaw, and my eyes filled with tears when it flexed at my touch. ‘I don’t want to do it, but I think I should if it means finally convincing you that you deserve better- that all you will ever know is misery, disappointment and fine print if you continue to bind your life to mine!’
Cairo’s entire face drew tighter and harder than I’d ever seen it look before, and he caught my wrist again before my fingers had had the chance to glance off his perfect skin. ‘You can’t have children?’ he asked in a hoarse, coarse tone, and when I shook my head, he tossed my wrist aside and stepped back, looking betrayed, and I felt like he’d stabbed me right through the heart with one single look of dismay. ‘And you kept that fact from me, even though you knew how badly I wanted to have a family with you? All this time I should have been scouring the world for healers and herbs and scientific minds to help heal you with, but you had me fetching you old romance novels and panes of glass instead?’
I frowned at him and reached for my champagne to have something to do with my hands, hurt but not surprised by his reaction. ‘I knew it was unlikely that any remedies would-’
‘Bullshit!’ he snapped, and I jumped, splashing champagne over my own wrist. ‘You knew it was impossible, because in your mind, being happy- truly happy- is impossible for you! Your heart is too broken to be given to another! Your womb is too damaged to allow you to be a mother! Your life is too set in stone for you to be able to change its course, your body too traumatised by the Barachiels for it to ever feel pleasure again, and your responsibilities too great to be put aside for your own human wants and needs!’ he raked his hands back through his long, ash-blonde hair and shook his head at me, at a loss. ‘And so long as you believe all of these things are true, they will continue to prove to be true, and though I knew that making you happy would be difficult for me to do, I didn’t truly believe that it would be impossible until just now when I realised that you are cursed to lead a miserable, lonely, and martyred existence- cursed by your own nature!’ His hands came down and became helpless claws. ‘By your refusal to think positive and to wish for all that you want instead of convincing yourself that YOU SHOULDN’T WANT IT!’ He came at me and poked at my chest, eyes alight with conviction as he declared: ‘It is not your womb that is barren, Larkin, it is the place in your heart where hope and blind faith ought to reside!’
‘That’s not true!’ I cried, swiping his hand away. ‘I wish for things! I’ve worked towards them- I’ve prayed, Cairo! For happiness, for freedom… for you!’ Tears were streaming down both of our faces now and I put down my flute again, reached out and took his hands in mine, desperate to hold onto him more now that I understood that I could not. ‘But life is about balance, and no one gets everything they want and I have had too many dreams ripped out of my hands to survive dreaming up any more!’ I released one of his hands and gestured outside. ‘I never wanted a kingdom! I never wanted to be a queen! I wanted to grow cotton and live barefoot in a house surrounded by books and fat children of my own with my best friend and husband at my side, but I got glamour, and glory and bananas!’ I took his hand again and tugged him towards me, forcing him to look me in the eye. ‘They’re not my dreams, but they are blessings and I must find a way to be content with my lot because we have more here than most have! And if you can’t be content with me as I am- Satan’s barren daughter that must take another man to bed for the greater good-’
‘But you are not content! You are sexually traumatised, emotionally scarred and terrified of being happy lest it should be taken from you!’ he argued, and I saw red.
‘Why shouldn’t I be, after all I have endured? When I first met you, you were in the exact same state of mind, but worse! In fact, you were suicidal, remember?’
‘But I changed my state of mind after we met, Lark,’ Cairo said, the light fading from his eyes even though his grip on my hands tightened. ‘My love for you is powerful enough to weather anything, even this…’ he swallowed hard and his face crumpled as he released my hands and stepped back. ‘But your feelings for me aren’t as strong, are they? You’ve already given up!’ I shook my head to protest no, but I could not bring myself to make a sound because deep inside my heart, I knew that giving up on him was the right thing to do. Moaning, Cairo jerked his hands away. ‘When he touches you- all that will be left for me to hold after is ashes, and I can’t stand around and watch it happen. I’ve already seen one woman that I love reduced to char… I can’t go through that a second time, Larkin.’
‘Then I think it’s best if you leave as soon as possible, Captain Kingslater,’ I said woodenly, knowing that he wasn’t giving up because of my heart- but because of my flawed body. I’d upheld my end of the deal and had graced him with my affections the moment it had occurred to me to want to embrace a man again, but he owed me nothing and soon enough, he would be glad that I had severed the bond between us. It was Satan’s daughter that was breaking his perfect heart, but it was Raphael’s daughter that was pushing him away and that was what made me fit to rule, wasn’t it? The ability to do what was right for him, even if it felt oh so wrong for me.
Ashes to ashes… I thought, trying to control the way my face was contorting with grief. Dust to dust...
‘Larkin-’
‘I mean it, Captain.’ In order to make the break easier, I turned my back to him and made my way over to my vanity, picking up the white paint that I would need to use to touch my make up with now that I’d cried it all off. ‘Take your money, take your men... and get as far away from me as you can before you too, develop a hole in your heart where joy and blind faith used to reside.’
‘Too late,’ was all my white knight said to me before he opened my bedroom door and walked out of my life, leaving me alone in my tower. Understanding that I’d just lost the most loyal, most loving and most devoted companion that I’d ever had in the true sense of the word, I collapsed over my vanity, knocking most of the make up to the floor in the process, and wept.
*
I only had two minutes alone before my door burst open and Lady Lucida barged into my room, peeling me off my dressing table and urging me down the stairs. Kohén and his squadron had been taken to the throne room, and she needed me there because the masquerade that they were trying to pull off would be an impossible mission without my complete participation and focus. I was in no shape to go anywhere, least of all out in public, but I re-filled my champagne glass before I let her haul me out of my room because I knew she was right: our survival depended on me keeping my wits about myself.
And my survival depended on me getting drunk.
As we walked down four flights of stairs, Lady Lucida explained to me that the moment that I had run from the guard tower, Satan had wormed her way into her mind as she had done in the past, and had told her what she’d told me; that I had a very specific job to do and that I would need Lady Lucida’s help. I didn’t know how the older Companion felt about my gruesome agenda, but she’d apparently come up with a cover story to explain my duress and to cover my ‘Whittaker’ tracks, and I had to admit that I was somewhat in awe of her composure and her quick thinkin
g. Then again, she wasn’t the one that was about to attempt to seduce someone she loathed for absolutely no reason so it wasn’t so surprising that she was functioning on a higher level than I was, was it?
Bereft as I was, it was hard for me to take in everything that Lady Lucida was saying but by the time we’d reached the second floor of the palace, my mask was in place, both figuratively and physically. I was Erika of Mossgrove (Janiel’s palace) I was twenty years old and like Lady Lucida, I had been kidnapped by pirates only in her retelling, we’d be stolen away from the McIntyre’s by the Kingslater’s, which had saved our lives. She had been taken from King Elliot Bronx’s section of the harem and I had been taken from his younger brother, Prince Philip’s own crop of girls, but instead of being ravaged by savages, we’d been salvaged by Cairo, and then deposited here in one of Cairo Kingslater’s many safe harbours.
That had been a risky lie to tell because Prince Philip Bronx was only nine years old so of course, the girls in his harem wouldn’t even know what their own destinies were yet, let alone look anything like me… and because the real kidnapping of Companions from Janiel had happened decades before which made sense with her age but not mine… but she’d had to make the lie fit my platinum brand and she’d counted on Kohén not knowing much about the less significant royals anyway, given his service in the army and his amnesia. She’d gambled big but apparently it had paid off because Sam said that Kohén had accepted every word she’d said as being the truth without batting an eyelid.
To my surprise, she also told me that she’d stopped a desolate Cairo on the stairs on her way up, and had warned him that she’d used his real name and his semi-permanent presence here in order to cover our asses and make Kohén feel threatened. I was cross with her for exposing the ‘real’ Captain Kingslater like that, but apparently Cairo had agreed that it was about time that he stopped trying to be something that he was not. He’d apparently gone on to swear that he would do whatever it took to keep me safe until I’d made it through the ‘unspeakable act’ if Bastien didn’t slit Kohén’s throat to spite Satan himself, but had looked very upset when she’d revealed that she’d turned him into my new ‘master,’ as part of the deception as well. I couldn’t blame him because that didn’t sit well with me either, but Lady Lucida insisted that it was the only way that she’d been able to think of a cover story that would explain my unstable loyalties to my over-attentive benefactor once I sought Kohén out- as I had to do.