by S. K Munt
I felt sick to the stomach at the idea of seeking Kohén out, but I was grateful to Lady Lucida for having coughed up that story out of thin air with only a few seconds warning from Satan. As far as Kohén knew, I was loved and controlled by the intimidating pirate captain- showered with gifts and attention but guarded jealously, which ensured not only my loyalty to him, but my fear of him. The tall tale was also a mirror image of the very relationship that Kohén had had with his own favourite Companion, and because he was obviously ashamed of that now, she did not doubt that Kohén would immediately feel obligated to ‘save’ me from a man as twisted and obsessive as he had once been now that I’d already caught his eye, and that would give him an excuse to approach me. Evidently that gamble had paid off too because according to Sam, Kohén was already thinking of ways to steal a few moments of my time and offer his empathy and assistance in the hopes that one right would undo two wrongs.
He was fucking wrong- about everything- but he was playing right into our hands and now it fell to me to close my legs and my fist around him and his family’s fucking throne. The thought made me want to vomit up my champagne but I had to admit, it was a smart plan and if I did get pregnant, we’d have Arcadia by the balls after via their firstborn heir. We wouldn’t have to hurt the rest of the hostages either, or even cancel the ball because going ahead with it would give me the perfect opportunity to first enchant and then seduce Kohén.
There was one more important layer to the web of deceit she’d spun- and Lady Lucida actually blushed when she told me that she’d explained my odd reaction to Kohén away as hysteria- that I’d once had a ‘thing’ for Prince Barachiel, and had entertained fantasies of one day meeting him again after our paths had crossed in Janiel during a visit from him in my teenage years. I made such a twisted face that Lady Lucida actually laughed and said:
‘Come on now dear, I know you were taught to hide your disgust for your would-be lovers better than that,’ and I’d muttered a string of words that would have made her, Cairo and Papyrus blush as I’d stormed past her and out onto the second floor landing. The central wing of the palace had a perfect sphere cut into every level, so that people all the way up to the fifth floor could look down at what was happening in the throne room below and because I was only one floor up now, I could see Kohén almost as clearly as I had when I’d been outside with him, and I wasn’t enjoying the view at all. In fact, I very much wished that I could fly through the domed skylights and towards heaven because if I could make it past a few thousand feet, that was where I’d be going- as far from my mother’s reach as possible, and further still from Kohén’s.
‘Why did Satan have to ask you to help me?’ I demanded grouchily as I looked for Martya, who’d fled my room the moment Cairo had stormed in dressed in plain clothes again, pointing out that if Kohén couldn’t remember me then he certainly wouldn’t remember her so she was going to get a front row seat in order to best watch him writhe. She hadn’t mentioned the ordeal that I was supposed to submit myself to because she’d barely had the chance to ask if I was okay before Cairo had bellowed at her and the other girls to get out, but I didn’t want to discuss it with her anyway because I knew damned well that best friend or not, this was her family’s curse that I had a second chance at breaking so she’d probably be the only person that loved me that wouldn’t try and talk me out of it.
And she knew what was going on too, because apparently once she’d informed me of my mission, Satan had started reaching out to every mind in Raphael that had ever been opened to her, revealing her grand plan while beseeching them all to support her and I alike. There were at least sixty people in Raphael that were too innocent to have received such a message, but those old enough to understand were quickly spreading the word to those not in the know: that Kohén Barachiel was not to be killed but manipulated in the worst possible way. I didn’t know how they were all taking it, but Kohén hadn’t been killed yet and there were a lot of people that wanted to kill him so as far as I could tell, Cairo and Sam were the only ones objecting on my behalf. Surprise, surprise! I’d built a nation for them and yet somehow, what was between my legs still counted more than what was inside my heart! Being a woman sucked.
Well, God’s firstborn son had been crucified for the sake of the people… is it any surprise that Satan’s daughter would get nailed by betrayal too?
‘Why do I have to take him to bed to try and fall with his child- which won’t happen- at all? Can’t we knock him out so you ladies can milk him of his essence while he’s unconscious? I’ll pay you well! Fuck... my kingdom to whoever can devise a way for me to be artificially inseminated!’
‘I thought the curse had to be broken by him impregnating a woman that he loves?’ Lady Lucida asked, looking confused. ‘Somehow I don’t think that artificial insemination is going to cut it- even if we had perfected the science… which we haven’t.’
‘He loves me as much as he loves any other Companion right now…’ I grumbled, lowering my voice as Sam and Bastien finished conferring quietly, leaving my father free to acknowledge the fallen prince again in front of an expectant and silent audience. ‘Hell, he doesn’t even know me...’
‘But his soul recognised yours, Larkin, and they are not only well acquainted, but connected in an eternal way.’ The older Companion squeezed my hand when I moved to hit her with it and slid her eyes to mine. ‘No, you cannot deny it, or hate me for saying it… how do you think he found his way here, Larkin? Sam told me that the only memory that Kohén has had resurface yet, was a whispered conversation that he had about a little girl… about following a stream through a forest and over the mountains- to a valley that contained a lake of turquoise.’
A wave of prickly heat rolled over my body as I watched Martya, Channél and Siria whispering in a cluster on the other side of the room and looking too excited for my comfort. ‘No…’ I breathed, but Lady Lucida nodded and I squeezed my eyes together and bowed my head, trying not to cry.
‘He heard it, in his mind, and for reasons he cannot explain, even to himself- he followed that stream here. It was an ill-fated journey and thrice as hard on them as our initial migration was because they came from the east where it is still very frosted over… but here they are, and that is rather miraculous, wouldn’t you say? How can you turn your head away from fate, when she is screaming in your face and demanding recognition?’ She waved out to the people gathered below us. ‘When you can see how much faith they have in you bringing a blessed child into the world that could be a harbinger of peace?’
I sniffled, wiping at my eyes again and not knowing what to think. How was it possible that the one, tiny anecdote that I’d shared with a five year old boy so many years ago had ended up defining my entire existence?
I sighed in resignation as Bastien started telling Kohén about the origins of Raphael- or rather, the false history that I’d written myself with Sam’s help, and had encouraged everyone in Raphael to memorise. Until Sam finished his true recount of how Raphael had come to be (boy, I sure hoped he wasn’t going to have to witness the next disgusting chapter!) the official story was that King Raphael had herded up a bunch of believers that had not been able to make it to the safety or Arcadia one hundred and seventy years ago, and had established a village here. Much like Arcadia, our people had bred and thrived and built and evolved, and although we were aware of Calliel’s existence, we had neglected to make contact with them, because over the years, we’d acquired too many of the sovereign’s Banished citizens that had migrated here by accident, to believe that we’d be accepted by our neighbours as we were. According to God and Callielian law, we were well within our rights to create a civilisation of our own and even to offer amnesty to their law-breakers, so long as we respected their laws too, preached God’s word and loved him accordingly.
We didn’t do the latter, of course, but no one needed to know that and if we played this right, no one ever would. It wasn’t like King Barachiel could just swarm over us and demand
unification- we didn’t have to let him or his people in, and he couldn’t try to force us to do things his way without starting a war, which was a larger sin against God and would give us grounds to overthrow him and his throne anyway.
Calliel would be able to take issue with the fact that we traded with pirates, but although the former Captain Kingslater had been a thief and a murderer, his son was less like a pirate, and more like an importer/exporter that just happened to travel around by boat. Cairo didn’t steal things- he bought and traded them, and if he and his men ever killed anybody, it was in the name of upholding an ethical code of conduct, not because he didn’t have any ethics of his own. Sure, Cairo had been determined to assassinate the king of Calliel and that had made him an enemy of the crown once, but he wasn’t anymore on either count, so what could Karol do but scold Bastien for choosing poor friends? Nothing- he had no grounds to stand on, not here.
But the lack of danger of having Kohén there did not change the fact that I didn’t want him there- not in my kingdom, and certainly not in my bed.
‘Fate needs to learn to compromise,’ I said to Lady Lucida, watching as Kohén stood and began to explain how they’d gotten here, and how we had nothing to fear from him so long as were living in God’s light while his people moaned and passed out or begged for water on my polished marble floor. I rolled my eyes at the idea of being scared by him at all, then, especially when I saw that the largest soldier was completely unconscious. ‘My mother got pregnant with me via Gabby’s body… can’t she or one of you hop in me for a joyride so I can pretend that I’m elsewhere?’
‘Gabby and Siria can be used as vessels, but she has no real power of her own. If you want to let another woman into you, you’ll have to grant your mother access, and that’s exactly what she asked me to beseech you to do to prevent you from suffering. You remember how you felt after you took her hand, don’t you? How charged you were-’
‘You think I’ll feel less grotesque about having sex with an old flame that I can’t stand... if I share the experience with my goddamned mother?!’ I shoved her gently, making her multiple layers of pearls clack together. ‘You’re more perverted than I thought!’
‘No!’ Lady Lucida’s eyes bugged and then it was her turn to screw up her face. ‘Absolutely not, what a heinous suggestion!’ She pulled me back from the railing and hissed. ‘But I am suggesting that you take her into you, just for a moment, and let her fill you with her power. It’s like flying, Larkin- no opiate or alcohol in the world can compare to divine possession!’
I cocked my head to the side, slitting my eyes. ‘You’ve done it?’
‘During my rituals, of course- when she’s strong enough, I take Satan into me, and it is a singular and utterly euphoric experience.’ She smiled a secretive smile that made her dark eyes gleam. She always looked beautiful, but the contrast of autumn leaves that had been threaded into her pale gold powdered wig made her cocoa skin glossy and supple-looking, and her eyes sparkle like onyx. ‘You will soar high above your body, but you will feel every touch divinely. You will remember it all after, but your recollections will be fuzzy around the edges, the way one remembers waking from a dream, or writing themselves off on champagne. Only there is no comedown after and there are no regrets either- she dissolves from your system gently, and her residual strength and power can stay with you for hours, days or weeks, depending on how long she was in there for.’ Lady Lucida clasped my hands, and I wondered if she could feel the blood throbbing in my pulse points. ‘I know you don’t trust me girl, and I know that this is a big ask…. but going off with that boy sober and heartsick is already the worst case scenario, isn’t it? So what do you have to lose by making it an out of body experience? Why be violated by her demands, when you could enjoy it, and feel at peace with yourself after? Especially if…’
‘If…?’ I raised my eyebrows, shocked to realise that I was actually considering it.
‘If it works,’ she said softly, eyes shining as she reached up and cupped my face. ‘If Satan gives you the miracle that the whole world needs- a Barachiel daughter that would not only break the curse against their family, but unite Heaven and Hell at last while making you a mother.’
I reeled back from her, mind spinning. ‘You believe that I could fall pregnant too?’ I’d assumed she’d only been trying to talk me into it because she liked being a pain in my ass but now I saw that the glow of faith and hope in her eyes was brighter than even Martya’s was when the subject of breaking the curse was raised. ‘But you’re the one who told me how improbable it was, in addition to being the most cynical person I’ve ever met in general!’
But Lady Lucida just smiled tightly. ‘I’m the second most cynical person in Raphael,’ she chided me, coming after me and sliding one of her hands around my waist before leading me back over to the railing. ‘But you are the first, your highness, and cynicism is a disease of the mind, not the heart. I’ve managed to thrive despite my own tendency to see the glass half full, but that’s because I tell myself that I deserve every last drop that’s in there, and because I love Satan dearly. But you- you see the glass half full and share it with others because you don’t believe you deserve a sip of it, and that’s wrong. You preach that all should be equal, and yet you treat yourself as an inferior and until you can rise above that, you will never know true happiness because you are simply too selfless to invite it into your life. And in a way, that’s selfish because you’re making those that want to love you suffer by keeping them at arm’s length.’
I worried my lower lip, thinking of how ironic it was that both she and Cairo had said the same thing to me that day, but from opposing sides of the same argument. Was it true? Had I become a pessimist in my old age that made her own life harder than it had to be?
Lady Lucida pointed to Kohén. ‘I know you’re sickened by the prospect of making love with him again, but he took your ability to have children, Larkin… so why not take it back? Why make this about doing what Satan wants, when you could be viewing it as doing what you deserve instead?’
I frowned at her, half-listening to Kohén explain about the stream he’d followed from the east that we had no knowledge of because we made it our business to avoid the Fallen Forest for fear of getting crushed by one of the thousands of ancient trees that had been rotting out of the ground there since Satan’s thaw. Fortunately, he didn’t know that I’d followed a stream here, and considered his discovery a lucky break pushed by a repressed memory and little else. ‘How would letting Kohén use me rob him of anything?’
‘Because Satan says Kohén will only ever have one child.’ She slipped her hand up and squeezed my shoulders tightly, whispering into my ear. ‘So take it from him, my queen. Give the world a Barachiel princess, but on Raphael’s throne, and show everyone that ever hurt you just how wrong they were to treat a third-born girl like she was worthless!’
I felt a tiny flame crackle to life inside me then, and I pursed my lips together, gravitating back towards the railing and looking down over my people- forcing myself to look at Kohén. Getting a child out of him would be a more adequate form of compensation than anything else that he had offered before, especially if he ended up suffering for it after… but could I do it? Could I take him inside me again without bursting into hell fire? I wanted to be a mother desperately… but at what cost?
As though feeling my gaze, Kohén’s head twitched my way then, and his neon blue eyes found mine and practically throbbed with power, making my heart skip a beat and all at once I realised that I couldn’t take him to bed because he was Kohén- I couldn’t bring myself to touch him because right then he reminded me far too much of Kohl now that he had that haunted, black-sheep look about him, coupled with the sense of pride that one only developed after learning how to stand on their own two feet.
‘I am not the grudge-holding type, Guardian Barachiel, so although it is clear that your presence here is making my court nervous, I will take this moment to remind them that this is a kingd
om built on love, understanding, equality... and second chances,’ my father pronounced then, folding his wings away as he leaned forward to look into Kohén’s eyes which thankfully stole Kohén’s focus away from me. ‘I have been in your position before, young man, and although I understand that you are actually guilty of most of the crimes that you have been accused of committing in a way that I was not, the fact remains that I built this place to be a haven for those seeking a second chance so...’ Bastien’s eyes flickered up to meet mine, and though I saw pain and anguish within them, I also saw what I’d expected to see- his resignation, his willingness to let me fight my own battles- and his absolute faith that Satan’s plan would benefit me more than it would torture me in the long run. ‘...I will not deny you amnesty, assistance or the chance to be treated as an equal this day, even though certain members of my counsel are beseeching me to turn you out due to the fact that you have already attacked one of them-’
‘That was an accident, sire,’ Kohén said quickly, cheeks pink as he searched the room for Cairo. ‘If given the chance, I will apologise profusely to Captain K-Kingslater, and I will swear to both of you right now that it will not happen again.’