The Wildest Woods

by S. K Munt

  Excitement rippled through me. ‘Are you saying that I have rekindled your affections for me, Erika? Don’t give me a coy response, and don’t play games…’ my lips were tingling with the desire to press them to hers. ‘Be honest with me, and tell me… do you want me as much as your flirting suggests? Do I have a shot at breaking his hold on you?’

  Erika looked up at me, and though her lip curved in a sad smile, she shook her head. ‘I want you more than my flirting suggests, Kohén, but I will not concede to do anything but dance and make conversation with you this night. If you lived here and were interested in romancing me the way he does it might be a different story… but I cannot dishonour Cairo or myself for a passing fling. I will make love with a man for free if I ever fall in love with one, or start taking money from them again if I decide that I can’t love anyone, but there can be no in-between.’

  I groaned. ‘I’d love to move here and romance you the way that you deserve to be romanced...but I can’t.’ The lights inside dipped and the music slowed down, creating a romantic mood that made the moment feel even more bittersweet than it was. ‘Not only would that be a betrayal to the country that I am forced to show loyalty towards, but I’m indentured to the military until next July. To leave now would make me a deserter, but to leave at all, especially for a, um-’

  ‘Prostitute that can’t give you heirs? I know, Kohén, you don’t have to spell it out for me. The title of Companion is supposed to be one that is celebrated, but only so long as the Companion doesn’t try to be anything other than that, especially as far as Princes are concerned. It’s not news to me, remember? In fact, it was the very first thing we were ever taught...’ Erika’s lower lip trembled but she flicked her wrist and stood taller, fanning her face rapidly, and my heart caved in when I saw that her eyes were glistening with tears. ‘Oh well, I dreaded you bringing me out here alone in case you provoked me to cross some line, but I’m glad that we’ve had this conversation now while the night is still young, because it has only reaffirmed the fact that neither of us can afford to cross any lines, least of all, together. We’re at an impasse, but at least we’re both aware of it, so neither of us can be accused of misleading the other, can we?’

  ‘I’m glad that you feel better- I feel markedly worse.’ I frowned when I saw Emm looking my way while she exhaled a cloud of tinted smoke. The other people in their group had gone back inside, leaving just she and Sam behind in the furthest corner, and though they looked like they were having as intimate a discussion as Erika and I were, for a moment there in the flashing lights, it looked like her face had contorted into a hateful scowl that was directed my way. Spooked, but trying to convince myself that I’d imagined it, I looked back down at Erika. ‘Worse than I did after the whipping and the altercation with the wolf that attacked Miguel, even.’

  She smiled a trembly smile at me and stepped closer, lowering her fan and stroking my nose, just beneath my mask, and even that feather-light touch made my body spark. ‘I have faith that we will meet again,’ her eyelashes fluttered, ‘and maybe you’ll actually remember me next time, hmm?’

  ‘Maybe?’ I demanded, pulling her against me and knocking her fan out of the way. ‘There’s no maybe, Erika- I’m absolutely enchanted by you, and if I can come this way next July, I intend to prove that.’

  She rolled her eyes. ‘Oh who isn’t?’ Those beautiful eyes narrowed at me now. ‘Enchantment is a charade, just like this one, and I have no faith that it will last beyond the sunrise, let alone until next July. You like the way I’ve been trained to walk, to talk, to dress, to flirt…’ she walked her fingers up my chest and then tapped the end of my nose, and the amber ring on her finger caught my eye, momentarily distracting me. What was with this place and amber? Had they found nothing more valuable to mine? If I were Cairo Kingslater, I’d have her covered in every precious gem in the world in every pastel colour! ‘It’s the Companion in me that has you responding so passionately, Prince Kohén. You know that I was taught how to fuck, and so when you look at me, fucking me is all you could think about.’

  Holy shit she was melting every muscle in my body but one. ‘No,’ I shook my head, ‘it’s more than that. There’s something in your eyes… more emotions than I’ve ever seen in a girl’s eyes before, and I’m hypnotised by trying to track them- to identify each.’ I rubbed the pad of my thumb under her eye. ‘It’s this tiny freckle here- so small, hidden by make-up, but I want to kiss it. It’s the way you try to hold in every laugh like you’re ashamed of your wicked sense of humour, so they sort of bubble out of you in a gasp that goes straight to my head.’ Erika sucked in a breath, but leaned more into me. ‘It’s the way you dance- every move you make is sexier than everyone else’s, sexier than every Companion or Artisan dancer I’ve ever seen move, and it’s so alluring because it’s clear that you’re honestly not trying to look sexy at all- your body just moves in a way others cannot.’ She whimpered and I inhaled the breath she’d let escape, feeling like I could taste her sweetness in the air. ‘And your back… has anyone ever told you how spectacular the muscles in your back are? You have wings without having wings and you don’t even need feathers to feel like an angel...because you’re skin is softer than any feather could ever dream to be.’ I ran my fingers up the delicate skin of her neck to the silken underside of her jaw. ‘The question is not, how could I have been moved to trap Larkin Whittaker so… it’s: how the fuck did I kiss you, and not have the sense to trap you after instead?’

  ‘Kohén, stop-‘

  ‘No. You made an accusation, and I am well within my right’s to defend myself.’ I leaned in and nuzzled the tip of my nose against hers. ‘Yes, I want to fuck you, very much. But I think I want to kiss you more- possibly even forever,’ I leaned in and placed a gentle kiss against her collarbone. ‘Starting here, and then…’ I didn’t kiss her chest, but my lips hovered over it, and her flesh lifted in goose pimples in response to my breath. ‘Well, I don’t think I’d run out of places to kiss this body, do you? And I’ll bet every one of them tastes as sweet as your breath does.’

  ‘Oh God…’ Erika closed her eyes and tilted her face up to the stars while she threaded the fingers of her free hand through my hair. ‘Prince Kohén, you’re making me so wet…’

  I was done for after that. She hadn’t asked me to kiss her, but she’d made it clear that her body had consented so I straightened, leaned over her and then raked my mouth against hers, not tenderly at all. She gasped and her lips parted, and when I felt her tongue immediately sweep across mine, I groaned a guttural groan and almost buckled at the knees at the surge of ecstasy that flooded my being. It was more than anything in the world had ever been, and when she gasped and drove me back into the furthest shadows, tightening her grip on my hair, I got so excited that I felt my cock twitch and hum in a way it never had before and it was as alarming as it was intensely erotic.

  ‘Oh God…’ Erika pulled back and shook her head, eyes wide with awe. ‘I can’t believe it… I want you, Kohén. I want you inside me.’ She brushed her mouth against mine again and whimpered before reaching up to touch my lips. ‘How is that possible? Have I lost my fucking mind?’

  I gulped down a breath and opened my mouth to assure her that she wasn’t the only one that was making a very bad decision that they couldn’t justify to themselves, but she mewled and leaned back into me then, stretching up on her tiptoes for another kiss. As she did, I heard something clatter to the ground, and then suddenly her other hand was not only empty, but tugging on my belt, drawing me further into the darkness and farther from sight of the rest of the world.

  Oh shit! I thought, panting to understand that the rules were changing. Where’s this going? Do I need to stop it? Should I? Can I? But they were stupid questions to ask because it was pretty fucking clear that I was helpless to resist her, and when our lips met the second time I was so excited by the way her hand was still wrestling with my belt buckle that I actually gasped into her mouth and began to slide my tongue
against hers, getting drunker and drunker with every taste of her. However, just as she slipped her fingers into my belt buckle and got the catch free, a commotion broke out somewhere nearby then suddenly, people were calling out ‘Happy Birthday!’ and blowing horns before the band broke into an upbeat rendition of the birthday song that I knew well.

  My heart sank when the girl in my arms hissed and then grew rigid, yanking her hands away from my belt while all of the colour drained from her face and just like that, I knew that the most exciting moment of my life was already over.

  ‘I can’t do this…’ she sobbed, breaking past me, and although I was out of my head with every emotion there was, I did not miss the fact that the couple at the opposite end of the terrace hadn’t been interrupted by the birthday’s boy’s grand entrance at all. No they were in a clinch so passionate that I got the feeling that Emm’s lovely green dress was going to reduced to a sprinkling of scales in a matter of moments, and I was sick with envy and barely-repressed electrical rage. Not against Erika no, but against God. ‘And the fact that it feels so natural just goes to show how twisted I am, doesn’t it? This isn’t high- this is… this is senseless! Dangerous and… and evil.’

  I had no idea what to say to that but as it turned out, I didn’t have to say anything because just like that, she flicked her fan open again and bolted back into the ballroom. I felt like I could barely walk, think or breathe, but I re-clasped my golden belt and tripped in after her, just in time to see Cairo stagger into the centre of the room and hold his hands out to her:

  ‘There’s my queen!’ he cried. ‘Are you coming to give your hero a birthday kiss, my darling one… or have you been off fulfilling your own destiny with little regard to how it will shatter my own?’

  Erika sobbed but bent her head and moved faster through the crowd, which parted for her quietly- so quietly that all of us could hear her sobs. ‘Not now…’ she croaked, lifting her skirts and running faster. ‘Devil be with you if you put me through this now!’

  ‘The devil is-’

  ‘Cairo!’ King Raphael reached out for the microphone cord, yanked the thing from the drunken man’s hands and then cupped it so they could say whatever it was he had to say to the angry pirate without being overheard. The pirate’s face spasmed in anger and then hurt, but he nodded and sat down, burying his face in his hands.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I heard him say as I hurried through the wake of open space that Erika had left behind her. ‘I just can’t go through this again…’

  That made two of us. I did not miss the way people scowled at me as I took off after the crying Companion, but they did miss the way that I stopped in the open foyer and watched her run up the eastern flight of stairs. I needed to go that way too, but I couldn’t trust myself to be so near to her, so I swung to the right and took that flight instead, hoping that it would keep me away from her- hoping that this path would lead me away from temptation, seeing as how I clearly didn’t have the conviction to steer my own course away from it!

  Damn it! Damn you! Damn everything! I cursed under my breath as I ran up the four flights of steps, and exhaled in relief when I saw that my corridor was empty. I knew it was wrong to come onto her, but I had come onto her anyway! There’s no excuses for that! I don’t know Cairo, but I’ve ruined his birthday. I don’t know Erika, but I’ve probably ruined a lot more than that for her, and for what? How am I going to be able to leave this kingdom with my head held high after proving- after only a few hours- that I am a predatory monster after all? I want to become the ‘new and improved’ Kóhen but how can I while my blood is screaming at me to give into the same lustful urges that drove the old one out of his mind? I can’t even plead ‘temptress’ this time, because Erika is as sweet and pure and innocent as Larkin Whittaker was manipulative! So the verdict is I, isn’t it? It’s all my fault!

  I unlocked my bedroom door with sparking hands, wincing as the steel knob conducted my charge and caused it to bite me back. I left my lights off because there were too many mirrors in that room for my liking and charged over to the french doors, wrenching them open and striding out into the night again, which no longer felt humid and sweet, but cold and unfamiliar. I wrapped my blue, static hands around the railing of that half-moon balcony that matched every other empty, dark balcony like it on that floor and pressed my fingertips into it, growling in frustration. After all of that I was still hard, still aching- still a lump of worthless nothingness! I should have gone to check on Theodore, and I should have gone to the stage and apologised to Cairo- even to let him hit me if that would help- but I’d followed that girl to both of our detriments and I had nothing to show for it but a throbbing cock and an aching heart.

  It hadn’t felt just like lust though, not the way I felt when I was stirred up and Saul-Yin took it upon herself to stir me up further. I’d looked into Erika’s eyes and had been soothed by the way she looked back at me; comforted, like I’d finally found my way home. Like that stream in the forest had led me not to this kingdom, but to this other half of myself. I didn’t just want to make her moan- I’d wanted to make her giggle and smile, and I’d wanted to chase that haunted look out of her eyes. I’d wanted to dance and rejoice after years of feeling like I wasn’t entitled to wanting anything at all, and even now, as humiliated and ashamed as I was… I wanted to know that she was going to be all right.

  But I couldn’t check on her. I didn’t know where she was and even if I did, I didn’t trust myself to be alone with her again. Not because I was afraid I’d force myself on her, but because I was afraid that if I beheld her again and saw all that I could not have, I’d leap off the edge of this balcony and end it.

  Feeling my chest constrict painfully, I sagged back against the wall and rubbed at my face, pushing away my threatening tears in agitation and thinking that what I needed right now wasn’t a girl to lose myself in, but a shoulder to cry on. A mother, a father, a big brother… a twin… someone that would accept me for who I was, or could at least admit that they’d gone through it too so I’d feel a little bit less, well, alone.

  Am I alone? I looked up at the stars, wiping away another tear. Would this world be better off without me? Will I ever meet someone that needs me the way I need them, God? Or have you given up on me too? Do you exist AT ALL?

  The door to the room next to me crashed open than and I flinched when a figure sheathed almost only in moonlight rushed out of her own room and collapsed over the balcony rail, sobbing.

  ‘Oh God… Oh God…’ the girl wept, and although I was electrified at the sight of her, I could barely process that it was her that I was looking at all, because that would have been miraculous, wouldn’t it? And guys like me didn’t get miracles, did they?

  No! No that’s not her! That can’t be her room! I’m hallucinating, yeah?

  ‘What should I do?’ the girl lifted her perfect, tear-streaked profile to the heavens and implored the stars: ‘What should I do? I’m trying to live the life you allotted to me, God, but it’s so hard! I’m so lonely.’ Her voice was a whisper but I heard every word, her though I knew her limbs were golden, they were pearlescent in that moonlight, as was her wig, and her face. The night had drained her of her colouring as it had her surrounds, but her shape it could only illuminate, and I was so lost at the sight of her clad only in lingerie and her wig that I’d reduced to be a living being at all and was nought but a spectator.

  ‘So lonely…’ she tore off her mask and tossed it over the edge of the railing, but her garter was still in place, her feet were deliciously bare, and her brand was winking at me like it knew all of our secrets. ‘Too lonely…’ she whispered, straightening up and hugging herself, fingering the satin bows that were punctuating both of her hips and nestled between her breasts. ‘I can’t go on like this. I know that Cairo Kingslater is my champion…. but I cannot love him. Not so long as Kohén Barachiel lives… Oh God… Kohén…when he looks at me...’ She stumbled back away from the railing, sagged against the glass doors and
slipped one of her hands into her panties, fondling herself. ‘When he looks at me, I cease to be…’

  And on the other balcony across from her, I ceased to be anything but a mindless worshipper, not only of God, but of the goddess across from me.

  44.

  Château Aztaroth, Raphael

  Kohén Barachiel

  My jaw dropped so hard that I was sure that I had dislocated it, but Erika did not see me- did not look my way once, so overcome was she. Her eyes fluttered shut as her searching fingertips found their mark and she moaned, pressing her thighs together and sliding a little further down the wall. ‘Oh… oh…’ she bit her lip and arched her back and it was like someone had taken every thread of electricity in the world and had run it straight into my fucking heart before throwing a lever.

  IS THIS REAL LIFE OR DID I INHALE TOO MUCH SECOND HAND CLAW SMOKE?

  ‘I shouldn’t have run from him… sex isn’t a sin!’ Erika panted as her other hand reached up and began to toy with one of her nipples through that stunning strapless bra and when it hardened, I realised that I couldn’t: I could not possibly get harder than I was right then and now that I was seeing this, there would be no coming back from it. I would be hard for the rest of my life, which wouldn’t be long because my heart was going to fail if she made one more goddamned erotic sound-