Simply Love

by Natalie Ann

  Things were probably moving too fast in his head, but he couldn’t seem to stop the train from barreling down the tracks at full speed wanting to pass each station to get to the most desired location.

  “I heard on the news they ID’d the body but weren’t releasing the name. What happened?” she asked, opening the lid to the grilled chicken salad he’d gotten for her. He was eying it and realized it looked pretty darn good with walnuts and pears on it. He’d never been much of a salad person, but he might have to sneak a bite of that.

  She was staring into his eyes and he wondered how much he could tell her and figured he’d start out small. “Looks to be a domestic violence situation.” He paused for a second and then figured she didn’t know anyone around. He wouldn’t say names. It felt good to talk to someone other than coworkers on it anyway. Someone who knew him and understood him. “There were witnesses to fighting, yelling more than anything. We put an ABP out on the car but thought he was long gone. When I was leaving, I noticed a car matching the description parked oddly at another cabin.”

  “Oh no. I don’t think I’m going to like what you have to say.”

  He wondered if he should stop. “Okay. No more talk on it.”

  “No. Keep talking. I can tell something is off with you. Something isn’t right. I want to know. I think you need to tell me.”

  He did. He wasn’t surprised she got that from him. He told her what happened. “I’ve never killed anyone while on the force. Never even had to shoot at anyone. I’ve disarmed men. I’ve been on chases. I’ve aimed my weapon, but I knew this one was going to end differently.”

  She got up and walked over to him, sat in his lap and pulled his head to her chest. “I’m so sorry, Blake. I can’t even imagine doing that. Taking another life. What you must feel. You did what you had to do. You did the right thing and you saved that woman. That is what you need to think about instead. It seems to me you are a hero.”

  Taking a life didn’t make him a hero in his mind. “I don’t regret it. I’d do it again. I guess I just didn’t expect to feel this way.” His arms tightened around Gemma.

  “How would you know how you’d feel until it happened?” she asked.

  “I never wanted it to happen.”

  “I’m sorry it did.” She kissed him on the forehead and he felt cared for in a way he never had in his life. Not from another woman, not even from his own mother.

  “It happens,” he said. “I’m just glad that it wasn’t a random act of violence and that he’s off the streets. That we aren’t looking for a killer around the area. That’s much worse and then it’d have me worried sick over you here by yourself.”

  She looked into his eyes. “You’d be worried about me?”

  “Obviously,” he said. “Why would you think otherwise?”

  “I don’t know. We’ve haven’t known each other that long. We’ve only had a few dates.”

  “Sometimes a few is enough,” he shocked himself by voicing that. Had to be the shattered emotions of the past twenty-four hours making him drop his guard.

  Gemma didn’t know what to say to Blake when he voiced those words.

  She couldn’t remember the last time someone was worried about her. Or maybe even cared.

  She knew her parents loved her deep down. In a forced way that parents do. But she didn’t know how worried they were over her. Not really.

  Even as a kid, they never worried about her health as much as they were embarrassed by how she looked. She’d overheard the talks at night. She’d been in on those doctor’s appointments when her parents were told what she was doing to her health.

  But all her mother would ever say was, “She is never going to find a boyfriend if she looks like that.” Then her mother would turn her head and tell her in front of the doctor, “Gemma, you say you have no friends because they are embarrassed to be around you. They are embarrassed for you. All the cute skinny girls hang out together. Don’t you know that by now with Amelia? And we don’t want you with other overweight kids where you pick up even more bad habits.”

  She’d been eleven when her mother said that to her. Her doctor had looked appalled and went to open his mouth, but then closed it. He probably figured what was the point. She’d battled back the tears that day like she’d done so much in her life, then went home and had a bowl of ice cream the minute her mother was out of sight.

  And here was this guy sitting in front of her that didn’t know anything about her childhood or what she looked like before.

  How she behaved, that she had no friends, that she was still a virgin.

  What he saw was someone so different and she wondered if he’d be upset if he knew. If he thought she was hiding something. Or being someone she wasn’t. That she wasn’t who he was coming to like.

  But how would she say that to him?

  She hadn’t lied to him once.

  She’d told him she had been overweight.

  She’d told him she came here to start fresh.

  She was positive he knew she was shy, it was obvious.

  But all those other details she kept to herself. And for now, there wasn’t any reason for her to tell him. He seemed to like the person she was now and that was who she wanted to be going forward anyway.

  “Do you have to go back to work?” she asked him, wanting to change the subject. “Can you go back to work?”

  “I’ve got a few things to finish up, but then I was going to leave early. I can’t do much until I’m cleared but they said it should be no later than tomorrow if not today. A buddy of mine is out of town and asked me to go feed his cats.”

  She started to laugh, which made him do the same. “Cats? I don’t know too many men that have cats. Unless of course he’s married and then it’s the woman’s cat.”

  “He’s single. Says he likes that they are low maintenance and they keep him company. Personally, I think it’s funny, but to each his own. Anyway, he lives on the lake and I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind going out on his jet ski for a ride. I know I could use some fresh air and a distraction.”

  Put a bathing suit on around him? Yikes. “I’ve never been on one before.”

  “Not a problem. You can just sit behind me and hold on. It’s not a hardship to feel your arms around my waist.”

  Heat filled her face again. She couldn’t get over how much she blushed around him. As nervous as she was to have him see her in a swimsuit—her modest tankini—she really did want to try it out. “I think it’d be fun. What time?”

  He looked at the clock on the microwave. “I’ll be back at three. I should return to the office now. Does that work for you?”

  “Yes. I’m looking forward to it,” she lied to herself. Partially. She was looking forward to seeing him in a swimsuit. To putting her hands on his bare skin. But putting herself on display wasn’t something she wanted to do.

  Then she reminded herself that she really liked Blake. He’d been through a horrible ordeal in the past twenty-four hours and she wanted to be there for him. She wanted to provide him with the distraction he needed.

  But not only that, she was sick of being alone and she was ready to have her first lover.

  If she couldn’t put a bathing suit on in front of him, how the heck was she going to undress?

  10

  Never Good Enough

  A few hours later, Gemma was ready to go. She had her swimsuit on under her shorts and tank top with a towel and a change of clothes in a bag.

  She’d put her sunscreen on and even pulled her hair back in a ponytail. She hadn’t wanted to, but knew it’d be in the way if she left it down.

  When she’d been standing in front of the bathroom mirror with the brush in her hand, she’d combed her long brown locks back and turned her head from side to side. Looking at her ears from every angle. Maybe they didn’t stand out as much as she thought.

  Maybe she was just too damn hard on herself about everything in life because she was so used to everyone telling her she was never
good enough.

  That no matter what she did or who she was, she’d never measure up and never get anyone’s approval.

  But she had Blake’s approval and that alone was well worth it in her eyes.

  Too bad she didn’t have anyone she could talk to about her feelings. Instead she walked around the cabin and talked out loud. It made her feel better at least to voice the words and her fears. Even her excitement.

  She could call her Aunt Julie, but she wasn’t ready for that. Her aunt was good at pushing her beyond her limits, but sometimes Gemma just wasn’t prepared for it. This was one of those times.

  “I love that you are always waiting and ready for me,” Blake said when she stepped off the front porch as he pulled in.

  “Thanks. I hope you don’t think that I worry you’re late,” she said. It was just a few minutes before three.

  “No. I’m pretty punctual. As I said, I like it.” Him leaning down to kiss her on the lips was proof enough in her eyes too. Just like he kissed her when he left after lunch.

  She loved that he was always reaching for her and kissing her. Making up for all that she’d missed by not having a man in her life before now.

  “How far away is it?” she asked, climbing into his truck and buckling in.

  “About ten minutes. Not far.”

  “Where do you live?” she asked.

  “About fifteen minutes from here. Just inside the town limits of Lake Placid. I’d love to be on the lake, but it’s expensive. More than I can afford alone unless I want to get a place and renovate it.”

  “I bet you’d be good at that.” He seemed like someone that could do anything.

  “I could be, but it’s time I don’t have. Energy I don’t want to expend either. I get the appeal of living on the water, but there are other responsibilities with that too.”

  “Like?” she asked.

  “Wells, docks, beaches. Lots of things. Being in the town has advantages for sure.”

  “Yeah, I’m glad my aunt doesn’t have a well,” she said.

  “A few miles down the road she would have, but she is close enough to the town limits. Anyway, it’s nice, but not for everyone. I like my house right now.”

  “Is it big?” she asked. “Sorry. I tend to ask a lot of questions. I don’t mean anything by it.”

  “It’s average size. Two story. Three bedrooms, two and a half baths. That type of thing. I live in a nice residential area. Lots of family and kids around. Probably kids you’ll end up teaching. We can have dinner there this Saturday if you want,” he said, turning to look at her.

  “I’d like that a lot. I can bring stuff over to cook.”

  He laughed. “I can cook for you. I can handle the grill just fine, but I know you’ll want to contribute, so I’ll deal with the meat and you can deal with the sides. We can share.”

  “Sounds good,” she said. And she wondered what else they might be sharing because she’d really like to feel more of him, maybe take the next step, but she wasn’t sure how to make that happen.

  They didn’t say much more as they drove the rest of the short distance to his friend’s house. He unlocked the door and went into a laundry room to put down food and water for the cats. “I have no clue where these cats are. They are probably hiding from me, but that’s fine. I’m doing my duty.”

  “I’m sure they will come out if they want to. Or when we leave.”

  He nodded his head. “Do you need to change or anything?” he asked. “There is a bathroom right through there.”

  “I’ve got my suit on under my clothes.”

  “I’m going to change quick then,” he said, walking into the bathroom with the bag he’d grabbed out of his truck.

  She wasn’t sure what to do, but decided she might as well take her shirt and shorts off. The last thing she wanted was him to make some funny crack about her getting on the jet ski fully dressed.

  Taking a deep breath, she pulled her shorts off, then removed her shirt and folded them to put in her bag. She slid the flip-flops off her feet and left them next to the bag on the floor.

  When the bathroom door opened she turned and got her first glimpse of a bare-chested Blake. Yep, her body was filling up with heat fast and she was thrilled they’d be getting on the water to cool off.

  Sure, she’d seen bare chests before at the gym. None of them ever turned her on like Blake’s though.

  No smooth chest there, but some dark hair lightly sprinkled around his nipples then lower on his hips leading to a vee that his long bathing suit wasn’t doing a good job of hiding as it rested low on his hips.

  She heard his laugh and knew she’d been caught staring, but damn it, it was hard to turn her eyes away.

  “I know the feeling,” he said, reaching for her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Wanting to look. By the way, I like that you pulled your hair back. Not worried about pointy ears, right?”

  “No. I guess you’re right. They aren’t as bad as I thought.”

  “Maybe you grew into them,” he said, his eyes looking her over now. Her two-piece suit was nothing fancy. A blue and green print that covered her stomach fully. The top was a halter style because she liked how toned her arms and shoulders were now and it showed them off. A bit of confidence boost she knew she needed when she was shopping for a suit.

  “Sorry I don’t have a sexy suit,” she said.

  “Who says it’s not sexy?” he said. She watched as his eyes dipped down at the cleavage showing. She didn’t realize so much was and wanted to yank it up but figured he might laugh at her again.

  “I’m not into skimpy bikinis.”

  “Just like houses on the water aren’t for everyone, neither are skimpy two pieces. What you’ve got suits you perfectly and lets me see how toned your body really is. I didn’t realize how much muscle you’ve got.”

  “Is that bad?” she asked. She’d never be skinny. Her body wasn’t made for it. She had curves, but she made sure they were tight and not flabby. She supposed her only saving grace was she was young enough that her skin was elastic and bounced back. There wasn’t much she could do about the stretch marks on her hips and belly though.

  Thankfully they weren’t horrible and with the help of lotion and vitamin C they seemed to be getting lighter.

  She’d just have to get over it though. She had to stop thinking everyone’s body was perfect like her sister Amelia’s.

  She knew there was nothing perfect about her, but Blake seemed to like her just the same and she’d take it.

  Blake was doing his damnedest to not be a perv staring at Gemma in her suit, but she did have one little fine body on her.

  Curves were always his thing. Tiny skinny anorexic wasn’t.

  And the way she ogled him when he came out of the bathroom in his suit was enough to give him some encouragement that maybe they could move to the next step of their relationship.

  In his mind it was a relationship already. He wouldn’t push though, no matter how much he wanted to touch her. Taste her. Bury himself so deep inside of her that neither of them knew their names.

  Maybe this weekend at his place? He’d let her take the lead.

  Right now though he was having a hard time concentrating with Gemma sitting behind him, her legs spread wide on each side of his hips, her arms around his waist and her laughter in his ears.

  Yeah, they had life vests on, but the heat from parts of her body was still pushing through. He was rock hard and trying his damnedest to not let her know.

  They drove around for about an hour, then he brought it back to the shore and hopped off. He’d done his best to tell the dude in his pants to settle down. At this point he was at a semi steel rod and it was the best he could do.

  Gemma climbed off and stood there watching him while he pulled the jet ski back up and secured it to the beach.

  “That was so much fun,” she said unzipping her vest. The minute she pulled it off his eyes went right to her nipples...rock hard. He
wanted to believe it was her reaction to touching him and not the cold water. Yeah, that’s what he was telling himself.

  “I’m glad. We’ll have to do it again sometime. We can rent skis in town.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “What I’d like is to get my hands on you,” he heard himself say and yanked her forward. His mouth slanted over hers again and again. He’d just lost the last of his control at this point.

  “I like this even better,” she said back.

  “Did you like wrapping me up on the ski?” he mumbled against her lips.

  “I did. My body felt funny.”

  “Funny how?” he asked.

  “Cold on the outside and hot on the inside.”

  “Tell me about it,” he said, kissing her again.

  “I was thinking,” she said, her hand trailing down his arm. “That maybe I could stay Saturday night at your place.”

  He’d never had a woman ask that before. Not for permission like that. Maybe she was afraid he’d tell her he didn’t want her to spend the night, but he’d never been one of those guys.

  He wasn’t someone to kick a woman out after he’d had sex with her. That was something his father and brother probably did and he did everything he could to be nothing like them.

  “I think that’d be wonderful if you want to. I don’t want to pressure you.”

  “You’re not. I think it’s time.”

  Thank God. He thought so too. “If you want to, then I absolutely want you to. I want you.”

  She smiled, tentative and then bright. “No one has ever wanted me before. It’s nice to be wanted.”

  “Huh?” he asked, wondering how that was possible.

  “I’ve waited a long time for this. I probably should tell you I’m a virgin.”

  11

  White Doves

  A few days later, Blake was walking around his house and trying to make sure everything was cleaned. Not that he was a slob, but he wanted things to be as perfect as could be.