And Here I'll Stay

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And Here I'll Stay Page 7

by Rita Hestand


  "Your serious about this?" Mr. Pettigrew stared at her. "Didn't work out with Callahan huh?" He chuckled.

  "I am serious, and whether it worked out or not is not your business. Now, do I have the job?"

  "Alright, I'll give you a try, but I don't want no complainin'." He told her.

  "I understand."

  "Tomorrow at sunup then."

  "I'll be here, and thanks Mr. Pettigrew."

  "I kinda thought you and Joe might make a lively team." he told her.

  "That was sort of a joke."

  "Well it sure looked real to me." He told her.

  "We gotta have an understanding." Anna turned to him and stared into his dull gray eyes. "I won't complain about the work, but you can't ask no personal questions." She told him.

  He frowned. "Deal, that's fair, ain't my concern anyway."

  "That's right, let's keep it that way."

  She went home that day with a smile on her face.

  Her mother was cooking, and she bent to kiss her on the cheek.

  "What's that about?" Her mother asked.

  "I got a job!"

  "At the General Store?" Her mother's expression looked so content.

  "No, at the livery stable!" she laughed.

  "Are you serious?" her mother scoffed turning with a potato masher in her hand.

  "Yeah why?" she looked a bit taken aback.

  "Y-you can't work there!" her mother shook her head and tears formed in her eyes. "Land sakes, what's got into you now, girl!"

  "Ma, please, let me do this without no troubles. I want to work, to help you and Pa out." She told her. "I’m grown now, and still living with my folks, it's only right I contribute to our home."

  "Girl, what's got into you? I mean you've done some crazy things, but this!"

  "I simply want to do something right for a change." She turned to look at her, her voice going brittle. When she saw the shock on her mother's face, her eyes softened on her. "I want to work and help out around here. Because I'm gonna live here with you and Pa now and I can still do chores here. I'm an adult, not a child, but I have to feel useful in some way, Momma."

  "Anna what happened between you and Joe? It's time we talked about it. You haven't been yourself since you came back."

  "Nothing," Anna clammed up. "It was a big mistake and I don't want to talk about it, ever again. You understand. Please understand, Momma."

  Her mother stared at her with that worried look she often got. "It might be easier on you if you would talk about it."

  "I don't want easy any more Momma. I want to do my part in life. I can be useful, and I know horses as well as Daddy. I like being around animals, I always have."

  "That's a fact, but people in town will think you have gone plum loco."

  "Let's face facts, they already think that." Anna looked seriously at her.

  "But you married Joe so you wouldn't have to face it, didn't you?" she accused.

  Anna hung her head. So, she hadn't fooled anyone.

  Her mother was not vindictive, nor rude, but she knew she loved her and wanted to know. Anna couldn't talk about it. She would be brave, she would be strong, but she would not talk about it to anyone. Not yet, it was too painful to talk about.

  "Momma, I can't talk about it. You've got to understand. Okay?"

  Her mother came up to her and hugged her, "I wish you'd let me help you."

  She pulled away and smiled sadly, "Sometimes we have to work things out for ourselves. You've been helping me all my life Momma. You and Dad both. It's time I stood up on my own and helped myself. I've got to grow up."

  Her mother stared, put her hands on her mouth and nodded. "Okay darlin'. I guess you are right." But she could tell she was worried about her. "It's just you're my baby, and I can't dismiss that."

  That word, 'darlin' made Anna nearly fall down. It's what Joe called her, when he was being sweet.

  She looked white as a ghost, "Can I go lay down for a few minutes?" she asked her.

  "Of course, you can. Can I help you?"

  "No, I'll be back to help cook supper."

  Anna left, holding her stomach and wondering how one small word could make her nearly faint with emotions crowding her like a tornado just coming up behind her.

  She laid down, fell asleep and didn't wake until after supper.

  When she came out of her room her parents stared at her.

  "You alright Anna?"

  "I'm fine, sorry, I fell asleep." She told them.

  She listened to her father read the bible for a while, went out and stared at the sunset and came back in and her father asked her. "I ran into Pettigrew in town this afternoon, said he hired you to work in the stables."

  "Yes sir, starting tomorrow." She told him.

  "That's not a proper job for a girl. And you know it."

  "Daddy, I'm good with horses. You know that."

  "You are at that. But you already have tongues wagging. What do you think this will do?"

  "They'll know all about it, Daddy. I went to the General store and bought pants, shirt and a hat, to work in. Don't worry so much daddy, it'll just make them wag a bit more, won't it. I'll be fine, I promise. I want to help around here."

  "We get by alright, girl."

  "Maybe, but you'll get by a lot better now. I'm grown and I want to help do my part around here. I still want to live here, if that's okay with you?"

  He sighed. "Alright girl, work it out of your system. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. And I'll listen."

  She smiled and went to kiss him on the cheek, "Thanks daddy."

  She went to bed early and she could hear her parents talking about her that night. They were worried about her. There was no need. She'd be fine. She was still the crazy Anna Lee from Wayward.

  Chapter Eight

  Her first day on the job was rough. The stalls were a mess as Pettigrew's other worker had quit last week. She spent the entire day raking the stalls and cleaning up the messes, hauling horse poop out of the stable. A couple of people saw her and shook their heads. She could just imagine what they were saying about her now.

  It wasn't as if she wanted to be the town clown, but she knew as a little girl she was cut from a different mold. She could change a lot of things, but she couldn't be anyone else but Anna Lee.

  She went home too tired to help her mother fix supper and she was ashamed when she sat down to eat. "I'm sorry Momma, it was a rough day." She smelled the red beans and fried potatoes and sighed.

  "You look give out when you came in."

  "I'll get used to it. Mr. Pettigrew's stables were nasty since he hasn't had any help for a week. He couldn't do it all by himself. But I got most of the mess cleaned up, and I felt kind of proud of myself." She looked at her parents. "It's been a while since I felt proud of myself."

  "You like working with him, don't you?"

  "I do."

  "Joe came by earlier." Her dad blurted.

  "Here?" she asked. Anna couldn't imagine him coming by. He hadn't bothered in the last five years to come visit her, why now, when she was sure he was mad at her.

  "Yeah, he wanted to know where you were."

  "You didn't tell him, did you?" Her heartbeat quickened.

  "No, I figure he'd find out soon enough. Nothin' is a secret in this town, you know that."

  Anna nodded, "I guess everyone will know about be, if they don't already." She sighed. "But this time, I'm going to face them all."

  "Susan Dixon came by too, about the same time looking for you. She walked off with Joe." Her mother's brow shot up.

  Anna felt something deep within her react to that news. It was like someone had hit her in the stomach, her head began to pound, and she flushed. "Well, that's nice." She managed with a shaky breath.

  Both her parents looked at each other.

  She ate a hearty supper and helped her Momma with the dishes. Afterwards, they all sat on the front porch for a while, Anna doing her best not to think about Joe, but finding it hard
not to.

  She excused herself to bed and she tossed and turned. But she had to get up early, so she started reading a book until she got sleepy.

  Still her mind had wandered. Why wouldn't Joe leave it alone. She was doing him a big favor and he should realize that.

  Then there was Susan who liked Joe a lot and Anna had known it for years. She'd always been jealous of her and Joe being friends. Now, Susan probably was curious about what happened after the wedding. It was natural, and it hurt Anna something awful. If Joe and Susan did get together, she'd never live it down. It looked seriously as though she'd have to consider leaving Wayward. Although when she thought about, it seemed cowardly to walk away now.

  That was the problem, she always wanted to run away. Truth was, she couldn't run away from things anymore. People would have to learn to accept her as she was, even Joe.

  On top of everything else, she couldn't be a coward.

  Had she been a coward all along. Was that what made her do so many strange things?

  She wanted Joe to have a good life and couldn't imagine why he would be upset with her. After all, it wasn't a marriage made in heaven. He had told her plain enough what he thought of her, and it was no compliment either. He should be happy to be rid of her.

  The next morning, she rushed through her chores to get to work on time. She rode the horse she bought in San Antonio to work and Pettigrew looked a bit angry when she was five minutes late.

  "Sorry, chores took a little longer this morning."

  "Where'd you get that nag." Pettigrew stared at the horse she was riding.

  "She's not a nag." Anna firmed her lips and frowned. "I got her in San Antonio. Her name is Sally, and of all people I thought you'd respect her."

  "You know horse flesh better than that." Pettigrew eyed her. "But your right, I should respect her and you. I'm sorry, Anna."

  "She's all I could afford, okay?" Anna bit back. "And she's got heart."

  Pettigrew chuckled. "Alright, if you say so."

  "Someone came by early no one was here. He left a horse here." Pettigrew told her. "He needs currying. He's a fine-looking animal, so take good care of him, hear me."

  "I'll get right on it." Anna told him, glad that he had stopped talking about her horse. She had a strange affection for her old mare.

  "Good." Pettigrew left.

  But the horse was the one Joe had bought at the auction and she stared at it so long, tears formed in her eyes. She batted them away and went to work on the horse. Joe knew, he had to know, why else would he leave this horse here and come over so early?

  About lunch time Joe wandered into the stable and Anna was sitting against an empty stall eating some leftover beans her mother had packed her. She didn't see him until he came up to the stall. His glance landed on her sharply. But he quickly veiled his attitude.

  She was hungry because in her rush to get to work, she forgot breakfast. She didn't greet him, she just kept on eating.

  "What in hell do you think you are doing?" he asked taking his hat off and twirling it in his hands, his expression marred his handsome face. A face she suddenly realized she missed like crazy.

  "I beg your pardon," she wiped her mouth. "What do you mean?"

  "Working in a livery stable?" Joe's voice rose. "For goodness sakes Anna, what's got into you?"

  "I'm good with horses," she defended.

  "Why?" he asked.

  "Why what?" she shouted back.

  "Why are you here doing this?"

  She sighed with exasperation. Giving him a quick glance, she put the bowl down and looked everywhere but at him. "You taught me something Joe. Something I don't ever intend to forget again. I was a spoiled brat, well, that's over. I'm making my own way now. I'm doing things my way, not Mary's. I'm being me, for a change, crazy Anna Lee. And if people don't like it, well, that's just too bad."

  "In a livery stable?" he shouted, shaking his head as though he couldn't believe her.

  "What's wrong with that?"

  "I won't allow it, that's what's wrong."

  "Won't allow it? You don’t have any say about it." She shook her head and tried to laugh.

  "You're my wife, I have everything to say about it."

  "You told me in no uncertain terms what I was. How I only thought of myself. Well, I'm thinking of my folks now. I'm going to help them, since I live there. I'm going to help others. And I got other things to worry about too."

  He sighed now and slid down on the opposite side of the stall to rest.

  "I guess I deserve that."

  "You were right, I was a brat. But I'm not gonna be any longer. Now, I gotta get back to work, so you should run along. I curried your horse and fed him. Anything else he needs?"

  "He's yours, not mine, remember?" Joe asked with steely eyed precision.

  "I couldn't accept such an expensive gift from a man. I got enough people talking about me. Don't need any more."

  "So do I." he told her his glance sliding over her pants and shirt with interest.

  "Who, what are you talking about?" she demanded coming just a tad closer.

  "I left here with a wife on my arm, and I came back alone. Now my wife is cleaning horseshit out of the livery stable. Can you imagine what fun they are having with that gossip?" he asked her as he stood up too.

  She chuckled despite herself, "Well, handle it Joe, you gotta learn like everyone else to take the gossip. Not quite as easy as it sounds, is it?"

  "You've made your point; I'll grant you that. Now," he sighed without looking at her. "When are you coming home?"

  "I am home."

  "No, you aren't home. Married people live together Anna. You wanted marriage, you got it. But you obviously didn't take your vows too seriously, did you? I don't think that's very adult of you. A lot of men might paddle their wives behind for doing such."

  "Are you threatening me?" she frowned. Then seeing the dangerous glint in his eyes, she added. "I got to get to work. I can't stand around jawing with you all day. So, if you'll excuse me… "

  "What time do you get off?"

  "Around seven why?"

  "I'll be here to pick you up."

  "No, I told you it's over."

  "Did you file for a divorce yet?"

  "No… I haven't had time. I gotta earn some money to pay a lawyer for it."

  "Well, until you do, you'll live with me." He told her in no uncertain terms.

  "No, I c-can't." she shook her head.

  "You will, until it's final. That's my right as your husband." Joe told her.

  "You'd force me to live with you?" she gasped.

  "If that's what it takes." He firmed his lips and frowned at her. "I'll be here at seven, and I'll drop by your folks place and pick some of your clothes up."

  "B-but—"

  He was gone before she got another word out.

  She threw the rake against the wall and let out a cuss word.

  "He's nuts!" She kicked the hay with her boot.

  "Who is?" Pettigrew asked her.

  "No one. Sorry." She picked up the rake and worked so hard even Pettigrew was shocked. What shocked him more was when Joe came to pick her up in a buggy at closing time.

  "Joe, what's going on?" Pettigrew asked him.

  "Not much, just stopped by to pick up my wife, is all." Joe smiled as Anna came around the corner and spotted him.

  Pettigrew's mouth flew open.

  Anna started to run, but Joe followed, picked her up halfway down the street and slammed her in the seat beside him.

  "See you in the morning," Anna cried to Pettigrew.

  Mr. Pettigrew waved and laughed. "I'll be damned. This might get to be real exciting around here. That girl is never a dull one!"

  Chapter Nine

  The ride to Joe's ranch was a quiet one. Anna hadn't been on his ranch in several years. The countryside was lovely as the sun was going down.

  Unable to stay quiet any longer she glanced at him, "Why are you doing this?"

  "
Doing what?"

  "Taking me home with you." She frowned.

  "You're my wife, and that's where you belong."

  "For years we got along wonderfully. Now, it's like we are strangers." She told him. "The Joe I used to know wouldn't do such a thing."

  "We grew up Anna Lee. You had so many men callers, you wouldn't have noticed if I had been around." He told her.

  "Are you going to tell me you didn't have some females around you all that time?" She questioned.

  "No, I'm simply telling you, that we grew up. We aren't kids any longer. I've been busy building up my ranch. You've been busy trying to get married."

  That hurt, but she refused to let him know it.

  "Most girls do want marriage Joe." She toned her temper down now.

  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

  "Really, I couldn't tell. I took you dancing, I treated you as good as any man could and you took off with that silly note you left on the bed."

  "Silly note!"

  "Yes, silly note: "Joe, I want you to be free of me, so you can live your life now! I love you and hope we are still best friends."

  "I meant it, every word of it."

  "The way you kissed me that night, I was sure we were on the right track at last."

  "It was a romantic evening; I'll grant you that. But I just let my guard down a bit, that's all."

  "Is that what you were doing, letting your guard down. Then I'll have to make sure you let it down more often, as I enjoyed every minute of it."

  His compliment confused her.

  "My sister is married with a kid and another on the way. My folks are so proud of her. I always looked up to Mary, I wanted to be like her, but I'm not. I am so not like her. I guess God didn't make us that way. There's always a black sheep, and I’m it. But at least now, thanks to your bluntness, I'm facing it."

  "There's nothing wrong with wanting to get married, I guess, but you just go about it kind of backwards."

  "What do you mean, backwards?" she protested, ready for another skirmish with him.

  "Easy now, I just meant you asked me to marry. As far as I know the man is supposed to do the asking."

  "Yeah, well, I tried that, three times. And we know how that turned out. And they asked me to wed, every one of them. So, I thought I'd turn it around, and do the asking myself."

 

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