And Here I'll Stay

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And Here I'll Stay Page 15

by Rita Hestand


  He chuckled.

  "You're wrong." She stood up and walked around the room. "I wasn't unaware at least not where you were concerned. I looked at you too. I had daydreams about you. You filled out that year, you were no longer skinny, I saw muscles and you had a shadow of a beard then and I realized that you had grown into a man. It kind of shocked me. I thought you so handsome. Then, after you'd gone, I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't be thinking like that. That I was shameful too. But I missed you so. I thought you didn't like me anymore and I wondered what I'd done to change your mind about me. I fought my parents and everyone around me. I was miserable for the next three summers. After three summers without you, I began to think that I was wrong, that you were never coming back. That our friendship didn't mean anything to you." She got up and paced the bedroom.

  He came to stand behind her, pulling her against him, and wrapping his arms around her, he sighed, "I think it was a hard growing up. Neither of us were prepared for it. It doesn’t matter now. We grew up and what we feel now is ten times stronger. The beauty of it all is that now we know it isn't wrong. The first time you tried to get married I came to the church, I was sick at my stomach, I wanted to rush inside and tell you how big a mistake you were making. But I knew I couldn't. Three times you were at that church. The last time I planned to take a long vacation to get rid of all the memories with you, to put you away once and for all. That's the real reason I was taking the vacation."

  She turned to stare into his face. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

  He didn't say anything. "Just as I hurt you without telling you why I was leaving. But as naïve as you were, and at fourteen, I wasn't sure you'd understand if I did tell you. Anna Lee, I left you to grow up, but I never forgot you. Never stopped laughing at our good times together. And… never stopped thinking about you."

  "I was wrong to propose to you." She admitted turning to look at him.

  "I'm glad you did." He whispered.

  Her mouth flew open, "Why?"

  "Because you did what I wanted to do all along. What I should have done. You are the only girl I felt that way about all my life. I knew when you proposed that it had all turned right for us, that we were meant to be together."

  "You're doing it again," she warned.

  "What?"

  "Making love to me with words."

  He brought her up against him, and as he hugged her, he undid the buttons on her dress in the back. The dress began to slide over her shoulders and his lips explored her there.

  Her hands went to his shirt and she opened his shirt, her lips exploring the sweet scent of him, the broad chest with no hair. "Why don't you have hair on your chest?" she asked with a soft chuckle as her lips roamed his warm skin.

  He stopped and looked at her once more, "What?"

  "I thought all men had hair on their chest, but they don't, do they?"

  He threw back his head and laughed, "I asked my father that years ago, and he said somewhere in our family someone married an Indian."

  "I never dreamed." She chuckled.

  "I'm sorry, I don't have hair on my chest." He smiled sexily at her.

  "I'm not, I like it. Your easier to kiss there." She told him. She ran her hands over him freely now, then looked up at him with shining eyes. "I never thought I'd be able to touch you like this. Everything, everyone said about us, they made it sound so dirty, so wrong. But it wasn't dirty." She whispered; her lips moved softly over his chest.

  "I thought you'd be a shy lover," he whispered for her ears alone.

  "With anyone else, I probably would be, but not with you. I thought you'd never touch me," she cried, her lips covering his nipple now.

  He gasped. "I didn't want to rush you into this. I wanted you willingly in my bed." He whispered as his lips explored her cheek, her ear, her neck.

  "If I was much more willing, the bed would be on fire." She cried. "I guess I'm really not much of a lady."

  "Darlin' it's gonna be on fire, I promise you that." He smothered her lips with another scorching kiss. "And you are quite the lady."

  "I never wanted any other man, like I want you," she murmured. "But I never thought it would happen. I gave up it happening. That's why I was going to marry all those others. I realized I could never have you… at least until…"

  He picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the bed. But before he laid her down, he kissed her hotly on the lips. Then as he set her down, the dress fell away.

  She wore a silk camisole and it took his breath away, her figure was outlined in a silhouette that made him gasp. He stared for the longest, not saying a word, just staring.

  "Is something wrong?" she asked.

  He shook his head, "No," he whispered. "Something is very right. I've been waiting to look at you like this since the day we married."

  She put her hands on her hips, "How can that be, you didn't touch me in San Antonio!"

  "Not that I didn't want to."

  "What stopped you?" She cried as though she really wanted to know the answer.

  "For one, you told me I wasn't sleeping with you. That was a signal you weren't ready. I knew it. Because I wasn't sure if I was just bailing you out of another situation, or you meant it when you said, 'I do'."

  "I've always told you I loved you. You just never believed it." She nodded, "I guess I can understand that, now…"

  He kissed her shoulders, as the strap of the camisole fell away.

  "You were right when you said I was selfish. When I proposed I had no idea how you felt about me. We hadn't been together in so long; it was like you were almost a stranger. I was thinking of all those people out there who would make fun of me again. And… I thought we cared enough about each other that we could learn to get along."

  "I knew that. And I was a little angry with you for being callus. But on the other hand, it was a perfect excuse to be with you, too." He looked at her perplexed face, "Don't you understand, you were finally old enough for me."

  She sat down beside him on the bed. He reached for a curl and wrapped it around his finger, then he pulled her into his arms and smothered her with hot, delicious kisses.

  They fell back on the bed, kissing.

  His hands were all over her, exploring and he found the ties for her camisole and untied them, one by one.

  He sat up, bringing her with him and turned her around, as his lips burnt a trail down her back where each tie came loose. He could feel the goosebumps on her back and smiled against her soft skin.

  "I lied to you," he confessed with his lips on her shoulder.

  "About what?" she asked as she laid back on the bed and he took the camisole from her body. He stared, his eyes glistening into hers now.

  "When I left you at nineteen, it was because I wanted you. I wanted to touch you, look at you and make you mine forever. And I felt bad about wanting you, so I left. That's the only reason I left you, because I felt dirty for wanting a young girl." He murmured. "I thought everybody was right, I needed to leave you alone, you were still too young."

  "Maybe I was too young, I don't know. But after you left, I ached to be with you, I missed you so. I didn't understand the ache inside me." She cried. "Truly, I didn't understand the ache at all. But it was so physical. For a girl just growing into a woman it was hard to understand."

  "I should have just married you then." He whispered as his lips came down on her beautiful breast, surrounding her nipples with his soft lips, he pulled and tasted and laved her there and she felt herself melting into a million pieces. The sweet sensations of his lips there rocked her very soul with a pleasure she could no longer deny.

  Her hands went around him, shedding his shirt, and pushing it away from him, her fingers dug into his solid back.

  She ran her hands through his thick head of black hair, pushing herself forward so he could sup upon her there.

  "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

  He raised up, took the rest of his clothes off and then hers, as their clothes fle
w to the floor.

  He crawled in the bed with her and held her in his arms, staring at her loveliness.

  Had it been any other man, she might have blushed seeing him without clothes, but this was the one man she had wanted to be with for so long, she was simply happy.

  They kissed, as his hands went around her, pulling her closer to him. He smiled down at her, "You've got a beautiful body, darlin'."

  She blushed. "I do?"

  The surprise in her voice made him smile, "You certainly do."

  He noted the surprise in her voice and smiled. "When you wore those pants in the livery stable, I about came unglued. I knew you were beautiful, but not how beautiful." He looked at her now, and his hand ran over her body, all of her from the sweet temptation of her breasts to the small waist, and then to the flaring hips, she was perfect and his need of her grew.

  He raised up above her staring into her starry eyes. "Your first time has to be special."

  "Special, in what way?"

  "I'm gonna prepare you. Because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I don't want to ever hurt you again."

  "Prepare me?" she asked innocently.

  "I'm gonna kiss you." He smiled tenderly.

  "You've been kissing me," she chuckled.

  "Not like the way I'm going to. It will prepare you, and please you in a way you probably haven't even thought of."

  She smiled, "I trust you. I don't mind, I trust you completely. I always have."

  "And I love that about you. I love you darlin', I always have. Never doubt it again." His serious expression had her moving to kiss the frown away.

  "I know, I understand now. I'm glad you've told me about all your feelings. But you must know one thing."

  "What's that?" he smiled as he kissed her lips.

  "I've loved you since the first time you saved me. And even though it was a young love, it was true. I loved you for watching over me. And you did. There were so many times."

  "Then it's time I made you mine forever," he whispered.

  Then he began kissing her, long, drugging kisses that had her squirming for more. He made a path over her soft cheek, to her ear, then slowly he went down her neck where he nibbled freely, and she turned her head to allow him every freedom. Her arms went around his neck and she sighed with such contentment. She squirmed against his body, feeling his manhood stir against her thigh. But unlike some, she didn't fear his lovemaking, she greeted it with an eagerness and open honesty.

  But he was on a mission of love, his intention to brand her as his own. The fire from his sweet kisses lit a fire in her stomach that consumed her as he went down to her breasts once more, sucking gently there, then under her breasts and down to the flat stomach and he marveled at how thin she was, then around her belly button, where he let his tongue slide inside. She moved against him now. Then his head went further down to her shapely legs, he stared at them and he lifted them to admire then, kissing her there. Then something miraculous happened, he parted her legs and his head dipped to the sweet love nest of womanhood. He stared at her there. "Don't be afraid, darlin'."

  "You've got me too wound up to be afraid, and I'd never be afraid of you."

  He smiled against her leg as he moved it and then he parted her legs and for long moments he stared at the golden mass of curls. His hands went up and down her legs, kissing, staring then back to the womanly center of her. He glanced up at her, "Now I'm going to kiss you."

  She stared and waited.

  Without hesitation, he moved the soft lips of her there, pulling them open so he could suckle her there with the soft kiss of his mouth against her. The sweet heat, and wetness of his mouth surrounded her there. She squirmed wildly now, thrashing on the bed, feeling the sweet abrasion of his day-old beard. Her heart drummed against her chest. Her mouth went dry, but her hands wound around his hair, then over his shoulders. "Oh my…." She cried breathless and trying to control the strange feelings swirling through her body. "I never imagined such feelings, such intensity. No one ever told me about this… "

  He smiled against the side of her leg now, "Not all lovers experience it, but I want to make all of you mine in every way. I've waited a lifetime to be with you, and I won't miss a moment of you now."

  "Your words send a fire through me, but this… oh my, there are no words."

  "I know, enjoy it because it's for you." He told her.

  When his warm tongue reached the edge of her feminine core, she came up off the bed and he pulled her closer to his loving mouth, so he could kiss her over and over there, making her move in tune with his magical tongue. Her movements were like a dance moving with him in every way.

  "Joe," she murmured breathlessly. "It feels… so good. I never expected this."

  He smiled against her there, his hot breath igniting another fire inside her coiled body. Over and over his tongue pleasured her, then suddenly she cried out, "Oh my God, Joe." The orgasm was spastic, and her body shook with the pleasure he evoked. She moved to be closer to his loving mouth, surrendering to his lovemaking.

  "I never imagined anything like this!" she squirmed then relaxed as the sensations took control of her.

  For long moments she gripped the bed as he sustained the climax for her as long as he could.

  When she came down from the high, she sighed with such joy and contentment.

  She sought words to express her feelings, but it was something she'd never dreamed could happen. How could her body explode with sensations like that? How could he know so much about making love? Had he had many lovers? Where did he learn to please a woman so? It made her heart soar, she didn't care where he learned this, only that he had and that he shared it with her.

  The rapture he induced surrounded her now, and her body quivered with a new kind of need. The need to be with him.

  "What just happened," she cried.

  He moved slowly up her body, kissing her here and there. But the more he kissed, the harder his shaft became, and she reached for him and felt him. He moaned softly against her skin.

  "I want you darlin'. I want to make you mine now," he told her.

  "Yes, yes, please." She cried.

  He moved himself over her and slowly guided himself inside the warm and welcoming love nest. He broke her innocence, but she was so keyed up she barely uttered a sound, as he moved to be one with her in every way.

  "I love you Anna Lee," He told her softly. "More than anyone in this world."

  "Oh Joe," she cried reaching for him now, "I love you too, so very much."

  As he began a rhythm with her, he kissed her breasts and she moved beneath him to join him in the ride to ecstasy. Her body followed his, and they worked up a sweat as they came together for the first time in their lives. As the orgasm came, she clung to him, kissing him wildly, letting go of all her inhibitions and meeting him at the pentacle of their love for each other. The orgasm came in a hot wave over her body, as she clung to him breathlessly. The smell of sex permeated the air, surrounding them. Every touch, every emotion, even the taste of each other seemed magnified. Their skin was wet with sweat, and their bodies quaked with little sparks of their love for long lingering moments. Anna felt a closeness she couldn't describe, a oneness surrounded her, and made her whole now. She'd been thoroughly made love to and she wouldn't forget this moment as long as she lived. She'd hold it to her close, like a precious memory that couldn't be shared.

  She had to go to the powder room, but she returned quickly, eager to be in his arms once more.

  Collapsing against each other, they hugged and kissed for a long time, finally snuggling into each other and resting in peaceful sleep their bodies entwined.

  Later sometime in the night, they made love again, each time a bit better than the last. Each time he touched or kissed her; she felt an invisible bond growing between them that had never been there before. How could their love be stronger, it seemed impossible?

  This was what she craved her entire life, not just the physical side of their
love, but the uniting side. She knew she was part of him now and she gloried in it. They had been one in so many ways in the past, but nothing compared to this. This was the accumulation of all their feelings throughout the years. This was the oneness they had sought for so long and didn't even realize it.

  They slept again and cuddled into each other finding at last an indescribable contentment. An unfamiliar kind of happiness swelled in her heart for this man she had loved all her life, but never knew.

  Before dawn he looked at her sleeping and smiled. "Your better than I ever dreamed, and more than I shall ever need. You're mine now, and God help me, I'll always love you!"

  He closed his eyes, wrapped himself around her and slept a little longer.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Wrapped in each other's arms, the next morning, they stared into each other's eyes. Contentment, confidence, and joy filled them.

  A completeness neither had ever known surrounded them. Contentment flowed through their veins to just hug and kiss. A new joy filled the room.

  Suddenly, he tossed the covers back and turned to look at her.

  "What are you doing?" she asked with a chuckle.

  "Looking at my wife," he murmured as he bent to kiss her lips. "Everything I dreamed could be between us is. You're my life now, Anna Lee, and I am yours forever."

  "I've dreamed so long to be with you in every way, never once suspecting how good it could be between us. Even when Mary told me how good it was, I couldn’t believe it, and yet in her eyes I saw a satisfaction I never dreamed I would encounter."

  Then he stared at her, from head to toe, his hand following his eyes. "You're more gorgeous than I ever dreamed. And make no mistake Anna Lee, I have dreamed about this moment, many times."

  She ran her gaze over him now, "And at last I can look at you and feel no guilt, too." She whispered. "Don't laugh, but you are the only man I've ever seen naked, and you are beautiful."

  "I don't want to get up and go into town. I want to stay with you all day and make love." He kissed her solidly on the lips, as she pressed herself against him.

 

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